I can't decide if I'm stunted or if I've just always been comfortable in my own skin. :lol: I haven't really changed in the past ten years. I'm who I've always been - except now I'm the divorced version. Oh, and I retired last year, but that just frees up time for me to share more of who I've always been. LOL I've always been considered an old soul; maybe that's why I'm not all that different today than I was back then.

This brother and I are two years apart in age. Normal for our family ... I don't know. My oldest sister is three years my senior; my other sisters are younger than me by four and sixteen years, respectively. My brothers are younger than me by two, eight, and twelve years. We all communicate weekly, at a minimum. My brothers initiate contact as often as the sisters do, if not more. We're just genuinely interested in each other's lives. I guess we feel enriched by the presence of each other in our day-to-day lives, so we make an effort to maintain that. We like each other! What created this connection? I don't know that either. My mom comes from a big family, and so do her parents. We grew up very close to all of those people, and are still close to them. Every other month the kids and I fly overseas for a quick 48-hour visit with my great-aunts and -uncle (all in their 90s). My 92 year old grandmother makes the trip with us every other visit. They made time for family, taught us to nurture our individuality within the family, and showed us the value of extended family. The connection wasn't created so much as it was modeled and nurtured. We're just doing what we saw THEM doing.

I can share why on earth I personally wasn't chafing to leave home. It's because I had a good thing going! My mom did my laundry and kept the house clean; my grandmother cooked my meals and even packed my lunch; my father worked hard to keep the roof over my head and gas in my car; my brother, also in his 20s, was a live-in babysitter to my kids. All I had to do was go to work and contribute a paycheck - I purchased the groceries and paid the electric bill. I drove my grandmother to her doctor and bingo appointments ;) and made sure my sister's college books were purchased. I was happy to stay at home because the family was better off sharing resources, than it was dividing them and creating a redundancy. This is how it is where we're from. Children generally stay home until marriage. It's practical; that's why it becomes more common even here in the U.S., every time the economy goes haywire. There's a difference between cultural norms and "failure to launch" - I'm not sure how to explain my view of it without offending an entire group of people with (and sorry, but my) gross generalizations. So I won't try, other than to suggest that FTL is what happens when you try to separate the perceived wheat from the chaff - unsuccessfully, and with more of a hacking motion than a refined, thought out plan. These FTL are a population of adults who are simply lazy, and are leeching off of the family dole their retired or near-retiring parents have worked hard to fund. They have a good thing, too. LOL I wouldn't leave, either, if I could turn my parents into puppets of personal convenience! But for some of us, we truly just enjoy our family. We love sharing resources - if not altruistically, than because it benefits us individually and as a group. Win, win. Staying at home in my 20s allowed me to invest my money into real estate all the same - except I came to own a number of properties that were paid for by other people, following my initial investment! It allowed me to gamble big while I was young and build up a sizeable nest egg - pay cash for the home of my own when that time came, to retire in my 30s, and to live debt-free. It allowed my brother to earn a PhD without any student debt WHILE supporting a SAHW; he paid cash for their marital home, took unpaid leave from work to earn his PhD and spent the first five years of his kids' lives at home with them and his wife w/o need of a paycheck. We have a good family; solid relationships and explicit expectations. This is why staying at home works for us. For the life of me, outside of being able to walk around naked from time to time without fear of scaring the parents - I don't understand why unmarried adults in their 20s are so eager to be out on their own. I mean, I get it intellectually but I just don't get it. LOL Well, not entirely true - some people's families would have be running towards independence also. :)

My ex-husband has one sibling, younger by 3 years. He considers them close, but they aren't close by my standards (not that it matters. LOL) They call on birthdays, exchange gifts at holidays, and get together whenever my ex travels back to their hometown (he's the only one who moved away). They know each other fairly well, but - not like the day to day stuff. He could pick out a gift card to buy her, but not be able to SHOP for something she'd like because he doesn't know her current style or tastes well enough at this point - e.g. They were extremely close growing up, and even in the early years of our marriage (she was still a teenager). What happened was she married a super liberal and started sharing those beliefs; well, my ex and his family are super conservatives. :lol: Now they can't stand each other and have very little respect for each other's politics. So they limit contact and any real conversations. LOL My brother and I talk every day, and text throughout each day. I can tell you what he ate for breakfast and when it left his body via the other route (because that's when he finally takes his turns at our Words With Friends games). Okay, maybe TMI but we're very close and involved in each other's day to day. His girlfriend thinks it's weird that we're so close. It's normal for our family, though. All of us are pretty close and are in regular call/text/facetime contact. I think we're close because we want to be. We don't care what each other's politics are (and they're vastly different) and we fall back on our shared history to carry us through those times when we can't stand each other. Differences aren't personal, they're ... differences. However wrong ;) I think that's the key.

Is it possible to address your desire to support his dreams, without that stepping on your daughter's desire for a dedicated birthday party? Would he understand it better from that perspective, maybe? I like the idea of the compromise - allowing him to wear the swag and being open to those who inquire. I'd probably ask to be polite, and then regret it if he went into sale mode (even if I did set myself up for it). And as someone who once wore a uniform to work, and had difficulty remembering not to be "on" during my commute when I was still in uniform, will he be able to wear the swag without waiting to be approached? Maybe another compromise idea might be to allow him to host his own party. Pick a separate weekend and extend the invitation to the same crowd. Hand your friends the reins - to show or decline interest directly to your husband. Remove yourself as the middleman. It may still rub some of your friends wrong, especially if they don't realize that the other option was to let them be ambushed at your daughter's party, but it seems like the least awkward way to juggle all of the balls you have up in the air. Besides - gently remind your husband that just because you disagree with his approach doesn't mean you're not supporting his dreams. On the contrary, it's because you ARE supporting them that you feel you have to step in. Nobody likes to be ambushed, and turning a party into a sales call is doing exactly that - it's not smart selling, it's desperate and short-sighted. You want him to have as many good leads as possible, which is not the same thing as having as many sales opportunities as possible. Ambushed people don't buy, and they definitely don't spread POSITIVE word of mouth. At best he can hope for a sympathy sale or two, but those won't turn into recurrent sales - they never do. So I'd suck it up and let him invite my homeschool group to a dedicated sales party - if it meant avoiding it entirely at my child's birthday party. And then I'd encourage him to join his local city commerce group, Toastmasters, book clubs, ads in the church bulletin, hosting a quarterly party at the library or rec center, "teaching" a class through the city rec program related to his product, or taking any other networking opportunities in every effort to avoid chasing off friends and family. ;) There are more profitable avenues, any how. And good luck. It's a rough spot to be in. At least he's trying to hussle his product, and not just sitting on inventory like a lazy bum. The next step is to get him to trust that you're trying to finesse his sales method - not crush his dreams. And unfortunately, he has to be willing to see that. I hope he does.

I'd just go and take whatever job they put me in. I spent years heading volunteer efforts, so I aim to be a "model volunteer" by showing up and going where directed. LOL It doesn't matter if it's church, scouts, sports, or community. The one caveat would be moral and ethical issues, and I'd have no issues asking for re-assignment in those cases. I usually end up in the crap jobs, but someone has to take them! ;) And I'd rather take the crap job alone, than get stuck with the crap job because I'm the volunteer coordinator and nobody else has stepped up to. Double-whammy. :D

I like to blow the paper off of my straws and shoot them at my kids. Hard to do that if all they've left me is 2-3".

I appreciate all of the feedback. My GYN and Hematologist both made the IUD seem like a no-brainer, and gave me the impression that it would certainly stop my periods. I only know one person IRL who has one, and hers stopped after the first few months of spotting. I'm glad to go into more eyes open, knowing I may not stop at all ... or may just experience intermittent spotting ... that information was particularly helpful. I found out the IUD is covered 100% by my insurance, but the pill is not (100%). That's a factor. I also am nervous about eliminating my period completely. It seems ... unnatural? worrisome? ... so I need to wrap my head around a new way of thinking. The pill might be a good short-term solution while I do that. My GYN and PCP each gave me a sample pack so I have a few months of those to figure it out. Usually I love my uterus; lately, not so much. :crying:

My teenager doesn't care for meat, so he eats very little of it. I'm gathering this (and his dislike of milk) is a good thing for my wallet! My friend was just complaining that her boy is drinking a gallon of milk each day, to the tune of $4/gallon. Just, .... wow. LOL I like the idea of added fats to help satiate between meals - e.g., if they're snacking on fruits try adding a handful of nuts or cubes of full-fat cheese. Maybe even ice cream. :)

This is how I feel about it, also. We've traveled extensively before, and since, the kids were born. Also, when I worked outside of the home I was in hotels 3-4 nights a week. My kids often accompanied me on work trips, and are very travel savvy. Instinct is always the key, and we all had to feel that any specific situation felt right - but generally speaking, I have had no issue leaving my kids alone in a hotel room. Honestly, the rules at a hotel aren't too different from the rules at home: don't open the door, have a primary and secondary exit plan, and know how to place an emergency call. The last one is important - very important - since most hotels require a dial-out number to reach an outside line. My only addition when they were younger was no showering or bathing when I wasn't there; in 20 years of professional travel I've had enough plumbing issues that I'd rather just avoid the possibility of that happening without me there. Oh, and no laying on the comforters. LOL

I can take it or leave it. :) If I'm not feeling it on any given day, or with any given crowd ;), I just fake a cough as they're coming at me and hold up a finger. It usually staves them off. In a party line, this could mean a lot of coughing. LOL I might just suck it up and settle at a side hug!

I've never taken or been on hormonal birth control, as it's against my religious beliefs to use them for conception purposes. My hematologist wants me on one or the other to control my monthly bleeding. I'm severely and chronically anemic, and am on regular IV iron infusions with an occasional transfusion. The other option is an ablation, but we've agreed to try hormonal birth control first. The goal is to ease or eliminate my bleeding (for a time) to hopefully bring my hemoglobin and ferritin levels up for longer than the few weeks between my period and my infusions. I don't care about ease or convenience, I'm more concerned with which is less ... bad ... in terms of overall health and exposure or whatever. I don't even like taking OTC stuff, I just really prefer to do as little as possible - which is good since I'm rarely sick or suffering. For those reasons, I don't know what the latest birth control research shows; and The Internets are overwhelming to weed through on this issue. Which is least likely to mess my stuff up - if either is going to do that? LOL I may or may not be done having kids, I'm healthy and in my 30s, and my primary concern is the long-term effect of being on either. If you can help, I appreciate your time. My head is spinning from the millions of confusing google hits.

I might. I'd want to go see it and check it out first. I'm leery of bed bugs. I've heard the horror stories - even clean homes get them, you know? LOL

Sautéed red cabbage w/red pepper flakes served w/ roasted chicken thighs - slather in the fat of your choice (butter, coconut oil, etc.) spinkled with paprika and some bread or a salad on the side That's what I'm making for dinner and I was just whining that it's onion and garlic-free. LOL It has to be because my neighbor doesn't do onions or garlic either, and she's our guest tonight. :) And well worth the omissions!

I have never had any desire to read this series - not as a child, not as a mother (to a child who wanted to read them). But now I'm hooked on all of the extra information this thread has offered. It's all looking way more appealing now :) I'm just trying to decide which order to tackle it in: kids' series followed by adult literature, or adult literature followed by kids' series! LOL

:iagree: I actually just sold mine because I no longer need to seat eight ... but I loved it and would buy another one in a heartbeat. My sister had an Odyssey and my SIL had a Sienna - both were also good choices and they were pleased with their cars. But when we needed to really haul the kids around, we almost always ended up in the Pilot. The seats were roomier, especially when we had 3-4 in car seats.

The point is who cares what the teacher, you or I think, and to modify the assignment slightly to address the parent's concerns but not so much that it undermines the teacher's lesson. The point is: reasonable compromise. LOL And hey, in case you missed it I'm with you on the information thing. The assignment wouldn't bother me at all ... but again, that's not the point. The point is that it's a concern for the OP and she asked WWYD. ;)

I'd just email the teacher and let her know you're uncomfortable with the specific details of the assignment and that you'll be using the address of {something nearer you - grocery store, library, fire house}. She'll probably think you're overly paranoid, but who cares because it'll get you around your concerns re: the assignment. The assignment wouldn't bother me. And I sure as sheet wouldn't do it for my kid, regardless of how stupid it is. LOL I went through my share of stupid assignments, call it par for the course ... part of life ... a rite of passage ... whatever you want, we've all done it!

My kid just has an aversion to having clean hair. Can't, for the life of me, figure out why. He's had a high and tight since his very first haircut and I see no end in sight. :) It's harder to get super funky when it's that short. Not impossible, mind you, but definitely harder! So I second or third that idea. Also, I don't remember Betty's thread but I can see how it would've gone down the way she explained. :( I think it's true of many issues, that many people won't know until they've been through it themselves. For that reason, I really appreciate how she handled the issue. She didn't try to protect her son - she respectfully let him know what the issue was, how others were reacting to it, and how her son could fix it. Some kids just need to experience those kind of social consequences for something to hit home. I also see value in the routine that others have suggested - this does seem like a hill worth fighting for. And I think you can do that within a compromise - your minimal requirements for hygiene, his maximum effort to meet those. Good luck!

My SIL's maiden name is six letters and rhymes with Flynn - and it's a stumper also. But it's spelled Nguyen. LOL

Really I was most interested in how it would affect HIS credit - not mine. I'm not so much worried about my credit.

Oh, I don't think it's horrible. LOL There's truth to it, after all. My son does a lot of shopping on his own. Most of the time stores will allow him to use my card, but he's at the age (does it seem like a lot of people dislike or distrust teenagers?) where some won't allow him to. That makes an extra trip for me. Not the end of the world, but ... kind of annoying. I have some of the same concerns, but I was trying to find a way to guide him through these waters while the risks were lower - it'd be a store card, it's a card I don't carry a balance on, and a card I use frequently enough that I'm on top of charges and payments (meaning any negative actions on his part would be flagged - by me - quickly). I don't know if that's a compelling reason. I'm not set on it or set against it, and I appreciate your perspective. It really helps me to discuss things (and all options) out loud.

He currently has his own debit card through USAA, and we have the same set-up as you - it's largely his paychecks, with some money from me sprinkled in on occasion. I was never a big credit card user. My family has always been cash - I think it comes from being an immigrant family distrusting of some institutions. LOL So I didn't have any credit cards until my (now ex-) husband opened some in my name when we were in our 20s. But I went to college with a number of people who got heavy into credit debt freshman and sophomore year because it seemed so easy. And we knew several buck privates who fell into the same trap. I think part of me wants to address this issue ahead of time, to hopefully avoid this scenario. And I thought this might be one way to do that. But I wasn't sure ...

He's turning 14.

Really??! I didn't watch those movies, and had no idea. That's pretty funny. :) I'm going to ask my brothers if they knew that - sounds like a trivia stumper!