I'm way too lazy (to get into this kind of discussion with my own kids). Me, I'd give the (adorable, cuddle-bug) dog a name like DC. D for Dash, C for Cole. It's not exciting, and we'd end up calling him something like Deece or Deesy-Dicey-Lemon-Spicy but each girl-that-cares would have a name "represented" in the official name. We almost never end up calling our pets by their official names, we're big on exaggerated nicknames. LOL Our last group of pets were an abandoned mom and kittens born on our property, who were being targeted by the feral population so we brought them in: Olya (hybrid of Oliver and Yulia, our neighbors), Sina (hybrid of Sister & Nana, the two who found her), OJ (for Officer and Jennifer, named for the female cop who rescued him from the drain pipe on our property), and Brown Spot (the mom, whose name they could never agree upon so I called her by her identifying mark, which stuck). If we hadn't married everyone's suggestions, I have no doubt we'd still be hashing it out today - six years later. LOL I'm glad our most recent rescue came to us already attached to his name! Congrats on the new family member, and have fun naming him! :)

The good news is that she's kind of made you more aware of what you're jumping into - now, before your first meet up at the park, you have time to consider, prepare and practice vocalizing the type of boundaries you want/need going forward. It'd have been worse if she ambushed you at the park, with the sleepover invite, etc. I'd go to the park. I think some (mom) personalities are naturally more enthusiastic. LOL They go all-in with whatever "project" they're working on, and right now her project is to de-lonely her son. More than that, I think moms of many personality types see their 11-13+ year olds being lonely ... hear from the kids themselves that they're lonely ... and want so much to "fix" that for them. Maybe rural and homeschooling families, especially. There's something heartbreaking about a child that age who's openly lonely! It brings out a desperation in parents, especially "fixers" - you know? But know that she may still come on strong even after the park meeting - until she either decides it's not working out between the kids OR she finds another kid-avenue to pursue that has better odds. There's eager, then there's EAGER. Park day lets you know if her "enthusiasm" is a personality quirk across the board, or if it's part of a fixer-mindset that may have her pursuing you relentlessly. I'd go, and give her a chance!

Calvin Coconut - it's a series by Graham Salisbury. It's the Hawaiian (boy) Ramona, says a family who loved both characters! I originally bought (and liked) them because they remind us of home, but we've lent them out to friends who also really enjoy them - and who don't have the same sentimental ties. The books are roughly 150 pages long, short chapter with normal-larger print, and every few page features a small drawing or picture. Now 99% of our books are sourced from thrift stores, garage sales, hand-me-downs, and used bookstores. This series fell in the 1% for which I gladly ordered through Amazon. The kids still speak of Amazon Purchase 2009 ;) in which I ordered the rest of the series in one full-price swoop! We first learned of the series when a nice lady at church saw and bought it for my son because the boy on the cover resembled him. LOL

No advice, just :grouphug:. As an insomniac, I know how hard it can be to function on little sleep. I can't imagine trying to parent actively the way you need to, on such little sleep. Parenting any insomniac must be challenging, and to add the other issues in ... wow ... I hope you find a solution, and soon! When I worked, I was in a different city, state, or country 3-5 nights per week. Most of my co-workers tried Ambien, but the one time I partook ... wowza, knocked me out and I felt hungover the entire next day. But they all got used to it, and swore by it. I also tried melatonin spray. It worked SOME, but only if I laid in bed and waited for it to. There were times I took a dose, but sat up watching tv or going to the hotel restaurant to eat, and I felt more relaxed but not tired. And not tired enough to fall asleep without actively choosing to GO to sleep, if that makes sense. I don't know if this response is typical or atypical, but I'm throwing it out there should you chose to try it. If it's a typical response, it may not work for your daughter. ETA: Just read it affects your daughter the same way. LOL Sorry to hear that, for your sake! Hypnosis may work. I used Hypnobabies with my deliveries, and they (used to, anyway) sell a sleep CD. It's incredibly hokey and lame, and the first handful of times I listened to it I was mocking it in my head - naturally it didn't work. I wasn't allowing it to. So what I did was have my brother sneak in and play the CD on super low. I wanted him to do it so I couldn't "think" myself out of letting it work. Sure enough, it began to work. He played it low enough that I had to strain to hear the actual words but loudly enough that the words did register. My youngest is 8 and I still use the CD on nights I NEED to get decent sleep. An actual appointment with a hypnotherapist may work, also? How does a typical night go? Will she lay in bed, just fighting sleep from there? Or does she not even go to bed at all?

I'm in my 30s, and I live in Texas. I retired a few months ago, and until then I wore hose as part of my professional "uniform" (as did 90% of the women I worked with). I like hose. I'm naturally tan, and can easily get away without hose, but I feel more "put together" when I'm wearing them. I also don't care for the feeling of bare feet in heels or dress shoes. I don't like the no-show things. The one period I didn't wear hose as part of my "uniform" was when I lived in Miami. Too dang humid. Nobody wore hose there, NO ONE. Not even old ladies dressed up for Mass. LOL Here in my part of Texas, it's rare to see a woman - even a professional - wearing hose. I don't care, I wear mine any how. Nobody really comments on it (like they would've in Miami!) so I guess it's not TOO weird a thing? In winter, I wear tights. I wear socks with shoes. The one type of shoe I don't wear socks with, are my Chucks. And boy do my feet stink when I wear them, but they're the only pair of shoes that don't feel "right" with socks on. And I tell you, I grew up barefoot. We went everywhere barefoot, even to school. So I don't much care for socks in general, nor shoes, and I still spend the majority of my time barefoot ... but if I'm in shoes, I'm in some kind of hosiery. Excepting Chucks, of course. ;)

You gotta throw them into water if they're gonna learn to swim! "What about sports?" <-- I'm in Texas, y'all LOL, this comes up more than socialization does!

Nothing new under the sun, or terribly exciting, but here are ours: 1. baked chicken thighs over steamed rice --> 2. fried rice wok meal 1. stir-fry chicken (teriyaki, sesame ginger, etc.) --> 2a. leftovers served over salad or baked potato 1. deep-fried turkey --> 2. spring rolls or lumpia, or make stock 1. grilled steaks or roasted lamb/goat --> 2. chopped for soft tacos or threaded onto skewers w/roasted veggies 1. any leftover vegetable dishes or sides --> 2. bim bim bop or soup

We dine out a lot. Like A LOT a lot. So we have our fingers on the pulse of wait times in our area. :lol: We plan accordingly. On nights we need to stay on schedule, we have three options: 1, allot for the extra time by dining off-hours; 2, avoiding the long wait by ordering to-go; or 3, head somewhere we're guaranteed little to no wait - typically a dive or second-tier place. But most meals out are social occasions, be it just our family or with a small party, so the wait isn't any big deal. We're fine waiting up to an hour or more, and will either order drinks from the bar or otherwise just visit while we wait. Meals are social deals for us, and a wait of any length is simply an extension of that. I'd agree that few food options are worth an hour or more wait, but the social side (for us) is! My kids have never had any issue waiting, even for lengthy waits. They sometimes get antsy, and it was more challenging while they were younger, but we'd just play games or run them around outside - they never really fussed or anything. Maybe they didn't know any differently, maybe they're used to long periods of sitting/standing/waiting because we're Catholic and Mass operates the same way (after which they also get to eat out). LOL

I'm Catholic, so I need to be free of mortal sin before I take Communion. But I don't take Communion at every Mass, even when I'm free of mortal sin. I prefer to be free of ALL sin, and generally abstain if I'm not able to fully appreciate the sacrifice - so in your case, I might abstain if I felt the issue with this person was distracting me from focusing on Communion. But I do consider it to be a healing Sacrament, so I will take it (with venial sins on my heart) if I need that healing grace. You know how some people call alcohol their "liquid courage" - that's how I feel about Communion. It's sometimes my substantial courage, and helps heal whatever is weighing on my heart and soul. And sometimes that is even frustration or anger at God, FWIW. So, long answer short: it depends. LOL

When I lived in a cold climate, I used straight coconut oil. The oil itself didn't protect my cheeks, it's ability to hold in the moisture is what worked - but for that it needed moisture. So I had to dampen my face first. I used to travel by air every week, and it was super drying. I had to stay hydrated (lots of water) and I didn't like the feel of coconut oil as an everyday thing so I started to use this essential oil blend from my health food store. It had neroli in it, which was for drier skin. I rubbed it in morning and night. I always keep unpetroleum jelly in my purse because my daughter bites her lips and they're always dry. In a pinch, I've rubbed this on my cheeks, too - but again, always after dampening my face first.

The game Simon. I can't get enough of it. I even brought it to my son's futsal game today, and sat in the car playing. LOL I never would've bought it for myself, or asked for it.

You're definitely in my prayers. I was nodding so hard by the end of your post that I may have given myself whiplash. ;) I relate well! I live in an exceptional school district, so sending the kids to public school would be fine. And as tempting as that seems some days, I've decided that 2014 we're going to change things up a bit - but not that drastically, not just yet. We're going to try a co-op. We have a few in the area - some require parental involvement and meet twice a week, but the one I chose meets once weekly during the school year and is drop-off. I used this co-op about six years ago and it was just the re-charge we all needed (to the point I didn't "need" to use it the following year). One day a week we had to get up early (ick) but I had the entire day to run errands, clean, and just have some space to get my home and mind back in order. The kid loved it, too, and made friends we still have today. It's weird, but I found that even though we 'lost' that one day to co-op it did keep us more on track the rest of the week. I think because I knew that day was MY day, so I stopped feeling overwhelmed by trying to do it all - house, school, family. It still gave us the flexibility to take short trips, too. Our pace picked back up, and I found my groove again. If I didn't have access to this co-op, or any co-op, I'd totally hire it out. That might be a tutor for math or reading, it may be a babysitter that could keep the kids from 9-3, or something - anything - that would give us all a change of pace to look forward to each week. The past five years I've slowly drifted away from that model, and it's showing! I'm bringing back the co-op and my teacher in-service day! Good luck to you. I think so many of us reach this hump and can empathize. :grouphug:

The poster used the word "made" and put it in quotes. I think we can all agree that the mom didn't have to, but for whatever reason she chose to - maybe it was easier than making a scene away from home, maybe she's a martyr, maybe she was exhausted to the point of just doing it so she could get to bed that much faster. I wasn't there, and I don't know her or what her emotional state was. I do know that when I'm "exhausted" I take the path of least resistance. I'm not the Lone Ranger... it's not unusual to be "exhausted" and unwilling to take something on. Parents are constantly sucking it up. Failure to act on an emotion doesn't erase the existence of said emotion. We can't know if the mom was or wasn't "upset" (to be fair, nobody spoke to her anger - just her exhaustion), but rudeness doesn't exist in a vacuum, even if a relationship does. When my son fails to hold the restaurant door open for the person two steps behind him, it's still rude to let it slam on the person - even if that person doesn't care. It's a concern because it shows me he needs help seeing beyond his own little bubble. A rude behavior doesn't necessarily equal evil little incurable beast of a child. I mean, it can. LOL But really, it can be a show of grace to make the child aware of a rude behavior - especially if an affected person is too {exhausted. tired. whatever.} to do so herself.

I don't see the co-sleeping as what's rude with her story. What's rude is (1) "making" your exhausted mom blow up an air mattress when there is a perfectly fine bed made up for you, and (2) taking the comfortable bed identical to the one you passed on, leaving your exhausted mom with the air mattress. To me, the first is arguably rude but the second is inarguably rude (towards the mom, not the host). Anyway, that's how I read that post. I wouldn't chose the word "attack," but it read as more of one on the exhausted mother than on the hostess or her linens.

I tend to think along the same lines as do you, OP. We've been doing museums and art appreciation since get-go, so my kids have seen nudes on a regular basis. My sister is an artist, and we have two of her (nude) pieces above my bathtub - the same tub the kids use for bathing. LOL It's just not an issue here. They see 3D nudes, too, but that's mostly because we walk around the bedrooms that way. I prefer the idea of a post-it to a Sharpie. I'm not an artist, but having grown up with one ... I guess there just feels like something very wrong about defacing a piece of art, even if the intention is not the defacing itself.

I teach my kids to read a situation, and to act appropriately to it - sometimes the best option is to physically defend (themselves, each other, another) but sometimes it's better not to physically engage someone. That may mean walking away, running away, or taking a hit if it helps in the bigger picture. We do this a lot by dissecting situations (real, fake) we see on tv, movies, news, and just in our regular lives. My son is 13 and has been in three confrontations. The first was at age nine, his same-aged cousin came up from behind and kicked him my son in the head. This boy was raised in an abusive environment, and learned to fight dirty. My son chased the cousin down, punched him in the face twice and the cousin got a concussion when he fell. My son kicked him in the ribs after the boy was already on the ground. This happened at my ex's house, so I wasn't there. My ex was fine with how it all went down, and so was his grandmother (who raised the boy off/on whenever the boy's parents were incarcerated). When I had a chance to debrief my son, I told him I was fine with how it went down UNTIL he kicked the kid. I wanted to be sure he understood the difference between defending and attacking. I said he'd never get in trouble for defending but that attacking could invite a host of troubles - be those legal, or just friends looking out for friends. Where I grew up, this would've sparked a bigger problem in the community. My son's second confrontation was at age 11. His friend's friend didn't like him, and tried to punch my son. My son is a natural athlete and has been boxing for seven years. He blocked the punch, took one of his own, then got the boy down to the ground. He kept the boy in submission while waiting for an adult. I thought he handled it fine, but the other adults disagreed. The instigator's dad threatened to sue my son for assault and the friend's parents decided my son was too violent to continue the friendship. When we debriefed, my son said he should have not punched the kid, only submitted him. He said it wasn't losing his friend over. I agreed, and he continued to learn about troubles that can come - and to read a situation and decide what is (and isn't) worth fighting over. His third confrontation was at age 12, in the parking lot after a school football game. He was defending the friend of my nephew, who had been shoved down. He didn't throw any punches, but took one while he put the attacker in submission until the cops made it over. He was barred from attending any more games that season, but the cop said he showed restraint and control that most kids his age didn't. So it showed me he was learning the difference between defending and attacking. Unfortunately, my nephew and his friend had fought back; they were suspended from the team for the year. I'm a lover, not a fighter. LOL I didn't understand all of this fighting, but apparently it's common to boys (according to my ex) and to his family (again, according to him). So I want my kids to know how to defend themselves, but to do so smartly - controlled, not reactive. If they can't win, I don't want them to go down trying. I tell them hit with a purpose, and be ready to end it or to run fast. Some kids aren't as confident, knowledgeable, or comfortable fighting - it's just as much a personality thing as anything else. I wouldn't encourage a child who lacked the proper tools (confidence, knowledge, skill) to fight back; it's inviting more trouble, IMO.

I sift and sort. And I don't ask only certain people, I'm open to anything anyone has to suggest - because I'm capable of sifting and sorting, I don't feel any need to limit who I solicit advice from. I've been surprised by some gems I've gleamed from people I didn't care for, or didn't think could offer me anything worthy. I've also been surprised to realize advice I originally sifted out, would end up being helpful at a later point ... sometimes that later point was me being more open to such suggestions, but usually it was my situation changing in a way my tunnel vision originally blocked me from seeing (that was easier for an outsider to see). As for the garbage - sometimes I call people out on it, sometimes not. It depends on the relationship and the person, and quite frankly - on my mood. LOL Some days I can call someone out in a manner that is appreciative of their advice yet assertive to my own situation. Some days, not so much. Some people not so much, either! If someone appears open to bantering back and forth, friendly disagreement or argument, I'm likely to engage that. If someone is set in his ways and will dig his heels into his garbage, I save my energy for venting about him later to someone else. :tongue_smilie:

I agree with Jean! I also have degrees in a foreign language, plus I've learned two languages as an adult. I don't mind being taught by a non-native speaker for the class you are describing. The one thing I'd want to make sure of, is that I'm getting "real" and "true" pronunciation - some non-native speakers are capable, some are not. I imagine you fall into the former, given the amount of time you've spent living in and visiting the ME for so many years!

Trail of Crumbs My friend loved it, I found it somewhat sufferable - but it has elements of food, travel, and international locations :) I didn't hate it, and I finished it, but I didn't get the love my friend and her book club had for it. But they all raved about it! Might be worth checking out. I am pretty particular, so it might just be me. LOL

Growing up traditional meal was lau lau, sticky rice and soba. You couldn't cut them! Long noodles = long life. :) My grandmother wouldn't use any cutting tools on New Years - no scissors, knives, nothing. My mom still makes it. I usually work NYE/NYD, and had to settle for saimin - sometimes made in the hotel coffee maker or with airplane hot water. LOL Mochi, too. Can't have New Years without mochi.

I'm at about 35%, down from 45-50% (which is where I was until mid-2013, when I retired). I worked outside of the home and was on the road 3-4 days per week. I had zero need, desire or energy to shop smartly. I did all of my shopping at the boutique grocery store five minutes from my home. We ate out regularly, too. I'm happy to have it at 35%. I still don't shop too smartly because it's not a priority - I have no mortgage or credit/student/car loans. We continue to enjoy social dining and high quality food at home. I was able to eliminate other expenses so I'd be free to indulge in this area of our budget - even on a fixed income. My percentage fell when I retired due to two factors: having time to switch to a chain grocery store (and warehouse for bulk items) and no longer eating out 100% while on work trips (my per diem was laughable). It may go down a bit more still - we added a vegetable garden this year, and the kids are asking for chickens.

I don't, but my phone is open game. The kids see/use it just as much (if not more) than I do. And this whole Cloud thing confuses me to the point of paranoia. I couldn't even send texts about their Christmas presents. LOL

I do not go every year. I've gone three times in my adult life - once per pregnancy. I've had two paps, each at a post-natal check-up. I'm still in my 30s, so no mammograms either. I see a hematologist monthly, and she wants me to set up an appointment with an OB/GYN. So I guess I'll get my 4th visit (and maybe a pap?) in the next few months. Yay.

Mass Brunch Pack up pantry (old house) Unpack pantry (new house) Final clean (old house) Nap (new house) I'm going out of order, but still getting things done. We sign papers on the old house tomorrow, so today we're supposed to do a final clean (including all food). I'm really kind of dreading that job. I'll probably save it until the (literal) 11th hour. LOL The final walk-through with the new owners is 8:00am, not too bright but definitely too early. I hope everyone who is under the weather will feel better soon!

Spend a few hours each week of the month driving around looking for the hungry and/or homeless - make sandwiches or keep granola bars and water bottles to hand out to them. Print out the names of local shelters to also pass out. If you know someone who might be lonely, invite them over for a meal. I had a regular lunch date with a neighbor family during one of my ex's deployments - loved it and was happy to return the favor when his wife fell ill and had to be hospitalized. My neighbor's kids had a donations-only, non-profit hot cocoa and cookie stand up this weekend. All monies were raised for an "orfanage" in "Hadi" :) If you know someone who's adopting, you might host a fundraiser to help them raise funds. Visit, read or sing to hospitalized children. During warm months, be on the lookout for neighbors working outside - bring them iced tea, lemonade, or cold water. Visit a cemetery - pray for the dead (if applicable), leave flowers or just walk around and remember the dead. In early spring, run a coat/jacket drive. You can donate them to a shelter or group in the fall. Organize a diaper drive for a crisis pregnancy center. Solicit donations for infant and maternity clothes, too. Collect toys to donate - gently used can go to shelters, but hospitals require new toys. Book drive for shelters or hospitals. Knit or solicit for knit hats to give NICU babies or the homeless. Host a blanket drive - lap blankets can be donated to cancer treatment centers, hospitals, crisis pregnancy centers, etc. Used blankets or towels can be donated to animal shelters. My neighbor is 75 and has a bad hip. My kids take his garbage cans to/from the curb every trash day as habit - something like that for your widowed neighbor might be great, in addition to your visits.