That may work for many. There will still be those who, for whatever reason, may not be able to access that particular avenue. Hopefully, stores will be able to accommodate those people. I'm always wary of when people are told they "just" have to do XYZ. Not everyone has the same circumstances. But again, maybe stores will expand options for those in difficult situations.

"The good old days" are a myth. There are millions of people soldiering on through this situation, putting themselves at risk in medical settings, in grocery stores, and in other essential businesses. Many more are stepping up to help friends and neighbors who are at risk. Are there idiots among us? Of course. There have always been the selfish, the foolish, etc. and always will be. They didn't suddenly just appear today because we're so weak. (This next statement isn't a slam at you, Quill, honestly. I think it's more proof that I need to stay offline for awhile because I'm reacting to something I'm seeing in a lot of places.) I'm getting pretty fed up with the not-so-veiled insinuation that today's folks just don't measure up. Most of us are doing our level best to keep things going despite overwhelming worry over an immediate, direct threat to our families. We're extending ourself to help those around us against real isolation. We're pushing forward, each in our own way every day, despite dealing with the major crap that's already on a lot of our plates. I admire the greatest generation deeply. We can learn things from them, yes. But underneath it all, we're really no different. We, too, shall persevere.

DS is laughing his butt off. He says he needs this on a shirt to wear to work.

Please don't assume that people don't comprehend that. It's easy to say "money can come back" blithely when you aren't the one in debt, facing the loss of everything and aren't sure (after MONTHS of crushing stress and worry) what will happen to your family. At that point, the corona virus seems the least of your worries. It doesn't mean you don't care about your kids or other people.

I hear you. It's not just health worries. My DH has been unemployed for months. We're approaching the cliff. Now I worry it will be even harder for him to find a job--if he even can--if businesses shut down in response to the virus. So lots of sleepless nights here, too.

Maybe this has already been discussed (not checking all 95 pages for it), but some clown in Missouri whose older daughter was the first coronavirus patient there (was in Italy), broke self-quarantine to take his younger daughter to a school dance. What part of quarantine don't these fools understand? I know there apparently isn't any force of law behind self-quarantine, but if people aren't going to comply, the government is going to have no choice but to take more drastic measures. I can't imagine how furious the families of all those other kids must be at him.

We're facing that personally now as well. Younger, cheaper, and, in DH's industry, increasing numbers of foreign workers are getting the jobs...and doing the hiring. Highly skilled but 55+ plus workers? Not so much.

Just echoing what others have said. I'd ask your mom to see the original receipt for the purchase and the receipt for the return. A couple of things come to mind: 1. See if the refund was actually applied to the merchandise card. It's possible, especially if things were busy, the clerk might have mixed up the card she was scanning for your mom with a used one that was on the register or the counter. That does NOT mean it was deliberate. If there's a number for the merchandise card on the receipt, see if it matches the one you have. 2. If your mom did not have the original receipt and did not pay with debit or credit card that could be used to look up the purchase, was the refund actually a corporate refund, meaning a check was going to be sent to her from the company? Could the clerk (especially if new) have thought he/she also had to scan a card?

From context alone, I'd say it's an insulting way of putting a woman who isn't as "open-minded and enlightened" as others in her place.As with so many labels today, it's intended to demean and shut down contrary opinions.

Do teachers really think this kind of thing is "anonymous"? Aside from the fact that the kids know their work has been held up, often OTHER students know whose work is being displayed. This kind of thing was unpleasant when I encountered it in the corporate world as an adult. I can only imagine how hard it is for a kid. For an especially sensitive one, it can make him/her anxious about the next time the teacher decides to use student work as an example. If the teacher has used this lesson before, it might have been more helpful to review common mistakes BEFORE students began work. Or she could have noted what went wrong and simply given reminders based on it before the next assignment. No need to embarrass young ones.

Now this thread has done it. I've got those songs in my head and I. Cannot. Get. Them. Out. Gonna have to roll with it today, I guess.

Not to mention ... how else would a student learn the Preamble to the Constitution?

It's such a sad situation all around. It would be interesting to know how much actual face-to-face communication, if any, has gone on between the grandparents and the HOA board. Or has everybody just dug into their corners and made assumptions about what can or can't be done? It would also be interesting to know if there had been any other cases in the neighborhood where grandparents have had custody of grandkids. What was done then? I didn't realilze some communities allowed people over 18 to live there. I seem to recall hearing about someone I grew up with being in a community that required people to be 55+ (or married to someone 55+) to live there. From what I was told, she was relieved when she hit the age limit because, if I recall correctly, SHE would have been asked to move if widowed because she was younger than her husband. I'll have to look into that.

When you buy into a 55+ community, you are doing so in full knowledge of and agreement with the rules. You've probably paid a premium to live in such a community. Presumably you LIKE and SUPPORT the stipulation that there are no kids. (It's not a community I'd want to live in though I have family who have chosen that option.) This particular case is, of course, a very sad situation. I'm not generally a fan of HOA, but it sounds as though this one has given the grandparents a lot of time to find other options. And chances are, it would continue to work with them if they needed an extra month or two beyond June, assuming the house was up for sale. The thing is, if they bend the rules for this family--and that's a MAJOR rule to bend--what about the next set of special circumstances? Because there are all kinds of reasons grandparents end up being the primary caregivers of grandchildren. Lots of them are heartbreaking. But the other residents deserve consideration, too. Fact is, sometimes life sucks. ETA: I just reread the OP. My answers to the questions are in italics. What would you think about the situation? See above. Is the HOA to blame? No. Residents agree to the rules. The HOA is enforcing the agreement the grandparents voluntarily made. Should the grandson be allowed to stay indefinitely if the residents vote on it? A vote would likely not be able to be made for one situation. They residents would probably have to change the "no kids" rule so that it applied equally. That would change the nature of the community and possibly have some repercussions if it's subsidized or something. Should the grandparents have just moved instead of bringing this to the center of the community's attention? Yes. Should the grandparents demand their HOA money back? No. They have been benefitting from the services their dues provided (grass-cutting, snow shoveling, etc.) Or sue? On what grounds? They agreed to the terms. Should the HOA be responsible for helping the family move? The HOA sounds like it's being generous with time. They (i.e. the other residents who pay dues) don't need to foot the bill. Should we do away with HOAs and segregated communities altogether? That's a whole 'nother discussion!

Hugs, Quill. May I make a suggesetion with regard the above part of your post? My widowed grandmother was...difficult.. when she got older. It was stressful for whichever person was scheduled to do her shopping, errands, etc. for her that week. One rule we had was that nobody went over to her house alone. So when my mom went over, one of us kids went along. (I was a single adult living on my own, but I was usually the one who went with her.) It REALLY helped to have someone else who could contribute to conversation, provide a distraction, etc. Maybe one of your kids (or a really dear friend) would go with you. To help YOU.

That's really rough. Do you have to even respond? I mean, if she didn't ask a question or say something that actually required some type of confirmation from you, could you just ignore it as simply an informational message not requiring response? I can't think why she's even telling you since apparently it doesn't involve you in any way. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction. And I agree with others: I wouldn't say anything to DS. If she brings it up during your visit, let her fumble for an explanation. You have my sympathy.

I'm sorry you are going through this situation and hope you're OK.

Not what you asked, but at one time the manufacturer had a program on its website that could be used with or without insurance. It was good for at least a few refills, I think.

Seriously. I'll take today--with all its negatives--over being parasite-ridden, malnourished, watching my kids die of easily preventable illnesses, being old at 30 or whatever.

Maybe I'm off base here and obviously every family's dynamic is different, but if it were me, I'd just accept that I was the best person to handle the medication reminders, to do lists. etc. Regardless of what "should" be, some things just are--in our home at least. I've had to reach that point of acceptance for my own sanity. (Definintely not saying you have to do the same. I just don't have the energy to tilt at windmills anymore.) I'm quite sure there are many things my DH carries that burden of that he wishes I would share, too. But as far as your DH and spending time with his mom, if companionable conversation isn't his thing for whatever reason, could they spend time watching a movie together in the evening so you get a break from being on duty? Can he play board games or cards with her? Having something to do together makes conversation a little easier. And it still counts as time spent. Good luck. You are a very compassionate and loving daughter-in-law.

Well, I'm wishing for a job for DH as this unemployment thing is wearing me down, but, sadly, that won't be happening. I assume you already have one of those! Do you have any hobbies that need upgraded equipment? Is there something you've longed to do but haven't had time for? The gift could be the activity and help freeing the schedule for it. Or is there something super-special you want to do on your trips that seemed slightly out of the price range before?

That picture brought tears to my eyes. So very sorry for your loss.

OK, that made me laugh. Your description is spot on!

Much ado about nothing. People today are on the lookout for things to be offended and outraged by. It's silly. If the issue is that she looked "fearful" (I think she had a weird pained look myself), then that's a failing of the director and the actress herself. I seriously doubt that the director instructed her to act like a abused wife. Seriously. Monday morning quarterbacking of advertising is nothing new. You can write or produce an ad that sells lots of product, and people will still pick it apart. Similarly, you can write or produce an ad that everybody from the creative team to the marketing manager to the company president absolutely loves and--when it fails--everybody will suddenly "know" it was a loser from the get-go. Nonsense like this is why I'm so over giving headspace to the outrage du jour in the news. (Of course, the fact that I'm dealing with significant problems in real life may have something to do with it as well.)

I'd be so tempted to show up with fruit cocktail and a can opener at that point. Sheesh.