I'm somewhere in the middle with my political views. I'm at the point where I'm thoroughly fed up listening to people on both sides, mainly because people don't actually want to discuss so much as expound on their own views and demean the other side. So I pretty much don't participate in conversations of a political nature at all. The exception is when my kids express something that I think needs balance--that can be either to the left or the right.

I'm so sorry Yael. I have nothing but prayers to offer you. I hope you find help soon for your DS. I just wanted to comment on the suggestions to have troubled, potentially violent children enlist in the military. (Perhaps I'm misunderstanding, and that's not what's being suggested. I hope so.) I agree strict structure can be helpful for many kids, but really, do we honestly want psychologically troubled people who are already exhibiting worrisome behavior being given weapons training and then, perhaps, deployed? The military should NOT be used in place of appropriate mental health care. There are already enough issues within that organization.

I've read a few articles about it recently. It's extremely disturbing. (OK, disturbing is too mild a word for it.) What I haven't seen is any information on what can be or is being done about it by the rest of the world. Thanks for the additional article. I will check it out.

I'm struggling with where this conversation is going at times because it's almost seems as if the message some are sending is "Don't promote breastfeeding so much because it makes moms who can't or simply don't want to do it feel bad." That's just wrong, in my opinion. I nursed my kids approximately two years each (or until everybody was ready to quit). I didn't have a family culture of it. I read the science and believed it was best for my babies. And yes, I encountered people who shouldn't have been working with new moms, such as the agressive nurse post-delivery who grabbed me and tried to force the nipple into my baby's mouth while I was still looped from the meds I was given for complications. When I had trouble at home, the so-called helpline was zero help. I would have loved better assistance because when you have a hungry, wailing infant, you need help now, not during the hours of 9-5. (I also had my otherwise supportive DH tell me my milk was "sour.") I kept those sample cans of formula in the pantry just in case. Fortunately, I was able to keep on and find help, and I'm VERY glad I did even though it was exhausting, and sometimes painful. It was the best choice for my babies for many reasons. My sister, however, formula-fed her kids. She had many well-thought-out reasons for her choice. And guess what? It was the right decision for HER babies. Right choice vs. right choice. It's not a freaking competition. If guess my point is, if you choose to breastfeed, be proud of that choice. You're doing your best for your kid. If you choose to formula feed, be proud of that choice. Again, you're doing your best for your kid. And, in the vast majority of cases, those kids are going to be fine because what we feed them is only one decision out of thousands. Own the choice. People can only make you feel "shamed" about it if you buy into their nonsense.

Again, I'm not trying to discount your feelings, Mbelle. I understand them. That same child insisted on carrying bandages and first aid supplies in his school backpack because he didn't want to be powerless to help himself or a classmate should something happen. NO CHILD should have to feel that way about going to school.

I understand your feelings. However, having just sent my firstborn off to basic training, I will have to respectfully disagree.

For the past couple of days, I occasionally get the following error message when I attempt to click on a topic link. Update in progress We're sorry, this web site is unavailable while an update is in progress. You can try again by clicking the button below, or try again later. Site Owner This message means an upgrade is in progress. If this is not correct, try visiting the upgrade process again (usually /admin/upgrade) and choose either continue or restart. If the upgrade shows nothing to upgrade, visit the AdminCP and run the Support tool. You can also contact Invision Community support for assistance. Is there actually an update in progress, or is something else going on? The error only seems to last only a few minutes. Thank you.

Also check the regulations for your municipality. Your town or city may not care that you use bricks instead of landscaping stones, but there may be rules governing trash cans and where they can be located. Mine does.

Or perhaps they've reached a point where they believe that posting on a message board about it is as useful as the "thoughts and prayers" so many disparage as a response.

I hope the sale goes quickly and smoothly and that your dad appreciates all your hard work and sacrifice. Since you've shouldered the burden for everything, perhaps sister in NC could come and get her own stuff or arrange (and pay) to have it shipped to her.

Uh, oh. This thread is making me wonder what MY kids will complain about my having served them.

It sounds as though the actual address on the package was the OP's rather than a case of a package with a different address just being misdelivered. I'd be very suspicious, too. I'd be googling the name on it in addition to contacting the police non-emergency number.

This article from 2017 says families did oppose it. https://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-manson-van-houten-murder020170906-htmlstory.html

If it were my decision, I would give a great deal of weight to what the families of the victims wanted. Yeah, it's been 50 years. Fifty years of living without their loved ones, 50 years of reliving the horror, 50 years of pain that doesn't go away. Knowing a murderer will spend the rest of his or her entire life behind bars is the only justice those bereft people get.

I totally understand wanting to know what it will cost. Unfortunately, there is not a simple answer to that question. You may already do these things, but here is what I do whenever possible: 1. Is the doctor in-network? What is your co-pay to see a specialist? 2. When you make the appointment, I'd ask what tests the doctor is likely to perform during the appointment. Then I'd check my insurance benefits to see what my deductible/co-insurance will be for those tests. (With ours, some tests are covered in full while the deductible and co-insurance apply for others.) Get procedure codes and call your insurance company if you're unsure. 3. For additional tests after the appointment, again, I'd get procedure codes and call the insurance company to make sure it's covered or if pre-approval is needed or anything. Depending on what's ordered, I'd find out if it's more cost-effective to go to one specific type of in-network facility vs. another. (For instance, having an MRI done at a free-standing facility as opposed to the hospital.) 4. For labs, make sure the samples are going to an in-network facility. (Don't just take the office staff's word for it. Check with your insurance. I almost got burned once to the tune of thousands of dollars because the office sent samples to an in-network lab they'd always used. However, it had recently stopped being in-network, and they didn't know.) 5. Make sure the radiologist or other providers involved are also in-network, even if you're going to an in-network facility. Find out how the insurance company handles that. I've had times where I'd be responsible for anything an out-of-network provider billed and an instance where the insurance had some special provision and I didn't have to pay it. I just don't assume anything anymore. I'm sure other posters will have additional or better ideas. Hope the problem turns out to be minor.

The posts on page 2 explain it all. Thought this nonsense sounded familiar. https://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/671069-getting-my-daughter-to-wear-her-jacket/

I mentioned it before, but the bolded sounds like the heart of the issue. If that's true, and if you could get him on board with giving you information on his ETA in a timely way (whether he planned to be home by 11 or by some later hour), wouldn't this whole issue would pretty much disappear? You just need to know in advance when he'll be home. Honestly, adult or not, that doesn't seem to be an unreasonable request of the people with whom you share a home and who are giving you so much support both financially and emotionally. ETA: The curfew sounds like an attempt to resolve the problem of lack of information about his ETA. Would presenting it to him in that light be helpful? Good luck sorting it out, Scarlett. I know you want to help and support DS and DSS as much as you can.

I'd be ticked off, too. That's worrying. If that's the crux of the issue, I'd deal with that. But it's a different issue (with a different solution) than someone coming home after 11 because it disturbs your sleep.

I know people tend to pick apart your posts, but honestly, I'm a little confused. I apologize if it sounds like I'm grilling you. And, of course, you're not obligated to answer. Is the problem that ... 1. You (and DH) can't relax enough to sleep just knowing that DS will be entering the house after 11 p.m. The worry/anxiety/tension/anticipation of being disturbed drives sleep away. 2. DS makes an unusual amount of noise during the process of entering the house and getting settled for the night when he gets home late--noise that he does NOT make when he's home before everyone goes to bed? What is he doing beyond unlocking the door that creates a level of noise that can't be masked with a white noise machine or something? I'm wondering, too, on the nights he doesn't go out, is he always in bed before 11? (I don't mean that in a snarky way.) If not, how to you handle the noise he makes as he moves about the house? How is that different from and more tolerable than the noise you mentioned upthread--shower, bathroom, breathing? Honestly, if you really do need a completely quiet house (and I'm not judging that), and DS can't or won't accommodate your 11 p.m. cutoff, then it sounds like he may needs to find another place to live. Especially if things like a white noise machine, ear plugs, showering in the morning instead of a night, going straight to his room, etc. aren't a solution for whatever reason. But if the issue is really your own anxiety or worry, then, honestly, that's something you need to address separately. (I say that with sympathy. I get that as a mom, you worry more when they're living at home and out late. It's part of the package.) I hope you can figure something out that works for all of you.

DS really enjoys the Tom Clancy novels. I think we allowed him to start reading those about ages 14-15 when he started to lose interest in reading for pleasure. (I don't think he's ever read anything required for school that he liked.) I don't know how you feel about that type of novel, but they caught and kept his interest. He asked for more books after the first one.

As long as they're learning...

I'm sure this is NOT what you have in mind, but my DS just correctly told me what the Heisenberg uncertainty principle was as we reviewed his chemistry lesson. I was thrilled because he struggles mightily with the subject. Then he told me he learned it on Stargate. Hey, you take what you can get sometimes.

Ah, I see what you mean. Thank you for walking me through it.

Oh, I understand that there is going to be some give and take. That's part of the process. What floors me is someone coming in ridiculously low on a property that's priced right for the market. Maybe the seller has wiggle room. But to imagine someone has thousands of dollars' worth would be surprising since most people (I think anyway) are counting on that equity for the next purchase. But then, maybe I just haven't bought and sold enough houses. It's interesting to hear about though.

It's kind of like kids who are really picky about what they eat. You can model eating fruits and vegetables, expose kids to them repeatedly, prepare those foods in a multiple ways, provide the kids with information about why they need them, etc. In the end, some just won't eat what's good for them. (Yeah, I have one of those.) As far as making non-readers well rounded, you may have to find ways to present info in a format that's more palatable. (As a book lover, that annoys me.)