It really sounds to me like the little girl just thought the whole thing was a game - maybe because the teacher has never followed through in the past. In the meantime, she gets all the attention on her... just a thought...

You know what I have found? That people try to make motherhood out to be a lot harder than it is, sometimes. Like, when a woman is pregnant with her first child, SO many people say things like, 'You're tired? Better get that sleep now, before the baby comes! Once you have kids, you'll never sleep again!' or other things like that. I don't know, it just bothers me. We did a bible study in our moms group about being 'hidden' from the world, being anonymous for a season of time (in our case, motherhood, particularly if we are sahms or when our kids are young) - but all I could think was, why on earth should we feel like we should be applauded for everything we do?? Why do we feel some need to be seen? Like the OP said, no one is applauding everyone else in all the work they do... it just doesn't make any sense to me. I actually think it is a really selfish mindset that brings about this idea that we all need to be so appreciated and lauded in our chosen profession, be it doctor, sahm, whatever. Why does any external applause matter? Anyway, that's just my thoughts...

None of my kids' names have traditional spellings - one is found in a couple of different books, and it's spelled like it is in one of the books (but I didn't even see that til after he was born). His gets mispronounced a little, but they pronounce it nothing like it is spelled, imo, when they say it wrong. They try to turn it into a girls' name that I've NEVER seen spelled like that... One I made up, but it's spelled exactly how it sounds. The other is from a video game and it's spelled the way it is in the game. That one is the one most likely to get mispronounced, but I really can't see why... I don't think it'll hurt them at all. Growing up I had a relatively strange last name and spelled it all the time. Now I have a not so strange last name that people still misspell constantly - and even my first name, I get asked, 'c or k?' constantly. People will say and/or spell almost anything wrong.

I need to look into that sort of thing. We're pretty rural, but there is a community of homeschoolers around here. I just had no real interest in getting to know any of them (I know that sounds terrible!! :lol: I don't mean it quite the way it sounds :lol: ) but I was thinking that maybe something even more individual would be good for him. I had thought karate would be good (being individual!) but I hadn't thought about the class aspect of it so much. :) He did like swimming, I think that was part of the reason. He does take piano lessons, but...I'm his teacher :D ...so not really 'getting out there' in that case. I know as he gets older he will probably be involved in more. He talked about guitar lessons, but once he heard who would be teaching him, he said no way, I'll stick with piano. Or he just wanted me to teach him guitar (which...yeah, I know like 5 chords on guitar, so that wouldn't really work! :) )

This pretty much sums up my feelings about it.

Well, I don't have any answers for you either, but I'm definitely :bigear: on this one! Your situation sounds kind of similar to ours with DS7. He last did soccer last fall, and we finished out the season but by the end he was off and on having a hard time with it. If people cheered for him (normal stuff, like 'get the ball, ___!' - not in a yelling at him way but the normal way soccer goes) he would get upset and shut down sometimes. So he took a season off of soccer, then did swimming this summer and did great. This fall he chose karate - but the 1st lesson, he wouldn't participate because he messed up a little (on something that wasn't a big deal, and no one expected him to know anyway!); 2nd lesson, he got upset when people chuckled at something funny he did, and crouched in the floor upset and not wanting to participate, though he did do a little bit of that lesson; 3rd lesson, he wouldn't participate again. So DH told him that if they left, they weren't coming back. DS7 said ok. I thought he might like it and I really wish he had given it more of a try. It's kind of disheartening because I don't know if this is going to be par for the course with him. I'm guessing he'll find his niche somewhere, but I don't want to keep going through this (repeatedly, with different activities) til we find the right one. It bothers me first and foremost because I really want him to be involved in something outside of church, I think it'll be good for him, and a little bit because I don't like the idea of not sticking with something (I feel like to quit early is just that - quitting. But at the same time it was miserable for all of us involved. So where is the line drawn then? I'm still not convinced we made the correct choice, I guess, because I don't want the kids to think that they can just choose not to do something they've made a commitment to) - or, for that matter, this idea that he gets to get upset (which is a little humiliating, particularly in the case of karate where we didn't know anyone so I felt like people were judging him and us by his behavior. I know it shouldn't matter, but it was a little embarrassing, especially as I was trying to juggle the other two so I couldn't really get up and do anything about it. I felt like it looked like we were terrible people raising selfish and unsocialized :lol: kids who think they can do whatever they want and have no idea how to act in the real world. I vowed never to take him again after that night.) I require extracurriculars, one per kid per season. DS5 is doing soccer this fall, and DD will start with her first extracurricular next summer with swimming. I just hope we can find something to work out with DS7... Anyway, sorry for the vent there, but I'm definitely interested to see what people have to say.

You don't. I wouldn't have joined my church (which isn't a denomination anyway) if I didn't agree wholeheartedly with our 16 tenets of faith.

Whenever she asks. On one hand, I think the little tiny earrings on babies is kind of cute. But I didn't really feel strongly about it one way or another. DH thinks earrings on little tiny babies looks ridiculous (or hideous, depending on what day you ask him :lol: ) so that decided it. :) I wasn't allowed to get mine done til I was like 8, but we're ok with DD getting hers whenever she asks - whether she's 2-3 or 13. Doesn't matter to us. I find it VERY rare that a woman would not have pierced ears (1 hole per ear), so I'm not really worried about her not liking/not wanting it when she gets older. I don't (well, can't) wear earrings every day because I'm allergic to nickel, therefore most cheap earrings itch and/or hurt my ears if I wear them more than 1-2 days. Sometimes I can get by with Saturday/Sunday, obviously taking them out at night or when I get home. I could probably alleviate the problem by buying more expensive earrings, but its very low on the priority list, so that won't be happening any time soon. ;) For any further piercing - second hole, cartilage - it would depend on age and maturity. It would definitely have to be in the second half of the teen years. Anything more than that will have to wait til she is 18. I won't sign for any tattoos (though I won't mind if she gets one), or any other body modifications (which I hope will be tasteful, if she does ever want any).

4-5 months, green beans first. the ped always said fruits first bc they were sweeter. I said veggies first. ;) So that's what we did with all of them - ran the gamut of all the veggies, about 2 weeks of one before moving to the next, then one fruit at a time the same way. Then mixing. My rule once they had tried everything was some formula and a little fruit with rice cereal/oatmeal for breakfast, some formula and 1/3 jar fruit at lunch, and some formula and 1/2 jar veggies at dinner. Then a full bottle in the evening. That was the going schedule around 6 months. I used to give them just a little bit of apple juice (1 oz) + 1 oz water if they were constipated, but not very often. That's when they were 3 months and up. I did rice cereal first because it's what I was told. The kids did fine, no biggie. But we switched to oatmeal as soon as we could. I never made my own baby food, too much work. ;) I just bought beech nut or gerber, whatever. At 9 months I stopped baby food all together, and they ate table food only. I HATE the 'baby food' stage. It's such a pain. I started giving them some real (whole) milk - just a little at a time - between 11-12 months of age. Then I knew they'd be 100% ready to be done with formula when they turned 1. By that time, they'd had pretty much everything. I also took the bottle away at 9 months for all 3 and had them drink out of a sippy cup. I'm really strict when it comes to that - they don't need to be doing baby things when they aren't a baby anymore, at 1 (like drinking from a bottle, or - even worse - taking a pacifier. My kids didn't even have those in the first place.) Anyway, that was my experience. Not the usual, I expect, but it's what we did and it went well for us. :)

No, never have. We don't really 'do' Santa. I don't have a problem with it, or think its evil or anything (like some of my Christian friends do :lol: ) but we just always thought it was kinda silly. Christmas is magical whether you believe in Santa or not.

So far, only a couple of stocking stuffer toys on clearance. Oh, and they had some movie concession style boxes of candy on sale, too, so I got one of those for each of the boys. Our Christmas club acct pays out next week, so we're planning on going shopping the following. :) I can't wait!!!! (Usually we go mid-October) I LOVE Christmas shopping! (My love language is gifts, so I really really like the whole giving and receiving of Christmas!) Can I say what we're getting? Pretty pretty please??? :D DS7: Spiderman sheets, Lego star wars game for the DS (+ DS and carrying case - actually, DS7 gave DS5 his Leapster, and DH never plays his DS anymore so he's giving it to DS7. I'm going to put it in the carrying case and hopefully the game will fit in the case, too, and wrap it all together. HE WILL BE SO EXCITED!!!!!! :D :D Maybe to some, giving him something we already own but that hasn't been his and he hasn't gotten to play with is cheap and not all that exciting - nor worthy of unwrapping on Christmas morning - but I'm SO happy and excited!!!! He really wanted a DS and has been saving up for one, but I really wanted to buy him one at the same time, but still we don't usually spend that much at Christmas, and I'd rather get him several small things that he wants than one really expensive thing that he wants, if I have to choose between the two. So anyway, it all worked out really really well!! :D ); one of the Lego 'board' games, I'm thinking Minotaurus, and some Legos (probably a Star Wars pack). He'll also get some miscellany, like socks, pjs (every year on Christmas eve), a new ornament (again, every year), a book, a Sudoku book, and whatever else I find. DS5: his birthday is in November, so he's getting a couple of these things then and the rest at Christmas - not sure which ones when yet: an Ultimatrix (Ben 10), Ben's car (Ben 10 again), a Leapster case, Leapster game, Batman or Superman sheets (both are nearly impossible to find without paying $40+...any suggestions?), a book on Dragons (maybe), Optimus Prime activator (maybe), Chewbacca, and a world map floor puzzle. He'll also get the miscellany - socks, pjs, ornament, book, hot wheels, maybe a word search book, etc. DD2: Rapunzel sheets, and Idk what else! Maybe a kitchen, but now I'm thinking of having DH build her one instead and giving it to her for her birthday in May. All the nice ones are just too expensive. So with her it is a lot of just going to the store and seeing what they have. But she'll definitely get underwear (hopefully she'll be inspired lol), socks, pjs, ornament, book, jewelry, nail polish, a pinkalicious doll, and I'll probably make her a scarf. I'm SO excited for CHRISTMAS!!!!!!! :D :D :D

I agree that if the family is extremely poor, they could probably easily get gov't assistance. And I don't think it is a bad thing. Do I think the system is abused? Absolutely. But it is also very helpful, and a wonderful thing for those who need it, for as long as it takes them to be able to get out of it. As long as they are working to try to do better for themselves, I really don't see anything wrong with assistance. :iagree: :iagree: Getting a bike is still an 'extra' expense though. I mean, he worked and paid for his own bike. With that as his goal. I see that as being completely different than what the OP is talking about. And sister worked to help him. :iagree: with the last paragraph in particular I like this idea. Then the money isn't being used for selfish extra things, but for extras for the family. If it isn't an instance of needing food, electric, etc, then I can see this option as being the ONLY other viable reason for taking a kid's earned money. :iagree: :iagree: 100% :iagree: bolded especially

It depends. I mean, how much? Like if I don't have cash for tolls and I'm going to be going through them, I'll grab some change out of DS's piggy bank rather than bother with going to the atm and get an entire 10-20 out. I just put some cash back in when I do have some. I don't think stuff like that is a big deal. However, if one of my kids made money for something, I don't think I would intend on using that money for household expenses. It doesn't make sense to me anyway... one should not be spending more than they have in the first place, kids' money shouldn't even be a part of the equation. ??? ETA: My kids still haven't ever made money off of anything. The money they have has been given to them for birthdays and such, so I guess I also don't have any perspective of someone with a child who has a regular 'income', regardless how small. I can't personally see it being an issue, honestly - I can't imagine making so little that you have to take that little bit of money from your kid. And no, I'm not a rich snob saying that, we don't make a whole lot. But it's called living within your means...

The bolded is VERY well put. :) That is the point of it, not anything chauvinist or anti-woman in it anywhere I've seen. Also, in every wedding I've been to, when they ask 'Who gives this woman?' the father answers 'Her mother and I'. Not to stir any pots or anything, but when I say 'patriarch', which I often do, I mean the head of the family. Head of the family = husband = priest of the home. It's all biblical. But I don't see it as some woman-suppressing society that thinks of females solely as property. In fact, I've found the opposite to be the case. DH's family, for example, live lives of Biblical soundness - and I've found the men to all think of women in the highest regard. Which makes sense considering that the job of a husband (Biblically, again) is to protect his wife and love her and always consider her first. I don't consider that to be a patriarchal statement, but I'm sure some would see it as one... ?? I guess I've just never seen so much angst over it before... :grouphug: :( ETA: Forgot to say, my grandpa did walk me down the aisle. Wouldn't have had it any other way, I think it's really special and important. :) And he said 'Her grandmother and I' when asked who gives this woman.

I agree with you.

We always do the kids' birthday gifts on their birthday, and have cupcakes or something small, just us. I would like to get to the point where we do a 'birthday dinner' on the night of their birthday with us, and then their party with friends on the weekend. Since grandparents and extended family aren't invited to birthday parties after age 5, we may have the grandparents join in as well, but no one else. Well, unless we went out for dinner, then I'm ok with asking a few of the extended family. All of DH's brothers (that matter, anyway) live here in town. We're relatively close to them all, so just to go out to eat together wouldn't be weird I don't think, for a birthday. I always thought it was odd to wait and give the gifts at the party, perhaps due to the fact that's not what my family has ever done. I can't help but think why wait? Haven't you been with your kid every day, including on their actual birthday? lol

:iagree: Ugh, this too. actually we are currently 2 weeks out from a trip to a big family thing which we have received NO details about yet. We don't know where we are staying, what the plans are, or anything. For some it may not matter, for me it does. It's driving me bonkers.

:iagree::iagree: :iagree::iagree: And this is coming from someone who has had 3 c/s!! :lol: I am anti-inducing and c/s for anything but valid medical reasons. I mean VALID. (Not 'we think the baby is too big' - how the heck can they tell that anyway? Every person who I've heard say that and then give a c/s for that reason, the baby has been like 8 lbs. Yeah. Huge. :glare: Meanwhile people give birth naturally to 10 lb babies with no problems. I know it depends on the person, but you don't know unless you try!) It drives me nuts when drs (sometimes on the patients request, I know) schedule inductions 2 weeks before the EDD. Absolutely drives me insane. I think its irresponsible and stupid...of course, that's a whole other topic. :) For that same reason I hate all the moving around of EDD. Just because a baby measured a little big they want to change the due date? Not likely. I think it's all such silliness. Don't get me wrong, I've had serious medical interventions with my kids, but I don't like this whole idea of pushing things on people. Especially inductions and c sections.

I would think (from the perspective of someone who would be on the 'receiving' end) that you don't need to worry about getting a lot for a lot of people. My IL's get each of the couples a present. They don't do stockings in their family, and never have. And these are married couples - imo, if they aren't married, unless you are super close to the fiance or girlfriend, there is no need to get her a gift at all. For grandkids, they get each grandkid a gift. There are 12. As far as stockings for the grandkids, I honestly see no reason why the parents can't do that. I usually send MIL a couple of suggestions for the kids, so that she knows what to get them. Some people find this rude (which I had no idea about until recently), but I think it is common sense - and makes things MUCH easier for the gift giver. It's always their choice whether to follow the advice or not. ftr, we don't do gifts between the brothers/families. We each get gifts for the ILs, but no others, except between us and one brother and his family that we're really close to.

FIL is terrible about that. Only he adds to it with having to SWITCH channels during commercial breaks!!! So you NEVER get back to the show you were watching in time, you always have missed the first little bit of the next segment after commercial. It drove me NUTS when we would try to watch tv with him. I've heard that a little here, but usually it's 'say whaaaat?' And I've actually done it a couple times. :leaving: Must confess to that one too. You're welcome just sounds so presumptuous to me, like I'm saying, yeah, you SHOULD thank me! I know that isn't correct, it's just how it makes me feel. :) YES!!!! Drives me crazy! I don't ask for that much notice, maybe a week or so, but I hardly ever get rsvps!! Sometimes I'll ask people just a day or two before and they'll say they don't know yet. Then I just consider them a no. Me, too... Allow me to add my others, as well: College students. Ugh. They walk out in FRONT OF CARS driving down the street because, hey, they're in a crosswalk, they have the right of way. Yes, true, but for pity's SAKE!! THAT DOES NOT mean you can walk in front of a VEHICLE. Pedestrians having the right of way does NOT mean that all drivers should have to slam on their brakes because you are an IDIOT! Ugh, I avoid the college when the students are there. Ugh, I'm getting mad just thinking about it. Text speak in places where it is not necessary. Like facebook. I have to decode some of my friends' statuses because I haven't the slightest idea what they say. 'rlzd twas thru grc id b nlightnd & recv etrnl life, i trid agin & agin 2 undrstnd Ro1:17 - rghtssnss rvld in d gspl. Trans. dfind God's rghtesnss as His sinlssnss cndmnng d snnr'. Seriously. It's facebook. I don't feel like translating. A spin off of that, shortening words that don't need to be shortened on facebook. For example, someone writes something, and someone replies 'wut' ...Really? Because spelling it correctly and not sounding ghetto was just too many letters for you? Oh, and another thing - since when do invitations for parties only need to be on facebook? Don't get me wrong, I like facebook and it has its place, but when I get invited to something on facebook I'm MUCH more likely to forget about it (particularly if it isn't a big event) than I am to forget if someone handed me an invitation or invited me in person. And my last one - also facebook (Sorry!) - status updates are NOT there just to vent your current pet peeves to the world. I'm venting mine here because that's what we're doing :lol: - but the status updates that are consistently snarky, rude, or any of those 'you know who you are' type things...really. Grow up. Ok...:rant: :)

We're using it and we like it. It's not particularly hard at this stage, but it is nice. One lesson a week and then activities to supplement. We usually do a couple of them. :)

I don't see why it would be offensive either way. I think it's respectful...

I voted other, because while he did not, he really wanted to but I told him not to, because my gpa would have said no. :) We had known each other/been dating 3 months.

Aw, and I actually thought that the book looked kinda cool...hmm, I wonder if we could just treat it as a fiction book and buy it for Christmas anyway? Even being YEC, I'm not sure how I feel about the dragons/dinosaurs thing...

Holy cr*p. It was awful. I didn't realize how many there were til I went back a couple pages. If I see another one I may...idk...do something. blah... :lol: