What does honouring your parents mean to you? Isnt it just about being kind and respectful...as we would hope to be generally speaking? It isnt, surely, about caving into their beliefs and opinions, or 'obeying' them. How about honouring yourself, your husband, your own intelligence and your own goals in wanting what is best for your kids? If our goals as parents and adults are different, even subtly, to our parents' goals in child rearing, we can't hope to be in alignment with them all the time. I agree with those who say not to worry about convincing them...just thank them for their concern, tell them what you are doing, and don't be defensive and justify yourself. You have no need to.

I have been thinking lately...yes, it is difficult and one of marriage's challenges when one partner wants more tea than the other. However, the idea that we "should" want more tea than we do, or that a couple can't be content with irregular and infrequent tea, if both are ok with it...seems silly. Particularly as we get older and the relationship gets older. Tea is after all...a biological imperative toward making babies...and sometimes the desire just kind of wears away for a few years, especially if the making babies phase is well past and life is busy or stressful. I have heard of plenty of couples who get right back into enjoyable making tea more frequently later in life.

I am getting more huggable as I age but it's been a journey for me. I think I used to be pretty prickly, but I think physical affection is a lovely thing generally speaking and I admire cultures like the Italians that all hug and kiss freely. I dont do what makes me uncomfortable, but as the years go by, I am more likely to hug. I dont kiss much, I guess, but if someone comes up to me and wants to kiss me on both cheeks...well, I admire them for their courage! :)

I dont drink much but I would taste it and if it tasted ok I would drink it, and if it tasted a bit vinegary, I would cook with it.

I don't ever have tea if I don't feel like it. I can't see how trying to make myself want something I don't feel like is good for either of us. We are a bit like the previous "desperate" poster. Once a month is great- its always good. Dh would like more tea, sometimes, or so he says. But he doesn't do anything much about it and just waits for me to be ready...so good, once a month tea it is. I dont subscribe to making tea in order to keep the man happy. Wanting to increase your libido for your own joy is another thing.

The poll needed to be multiple entries possible for me, because I drink raw goats milk at the moment, and raw cows milk at other times...dd will dirnk raw cows milk if I buy it...ds and dh drink only conventional whole milk, normally, although I am now buying some local milk in recyclable packaging that they will drink.

Wow, I just did the conversion- 4.55 litres to a gallon. You gals drink a lot of milk! We probably drink around 4, but sometimes 6 litres a week- which fits into your 2 gallons or less catagory. I like to buy raw local milk but dh wont drink raw, so I buy normal for him, and sometimes pasteurised organic. At $2 a litre for milk (or a bit under for bulk) we obviously pay a lot more than you guys do. My raw milk is $4 a litre! It may be cheaper on the east coast of Australia, though, since I guess we don't have heaps of dairy land here. Not sure.

Ds14 is the one with issues, and they are texture issues. He wont eat soup. He doesn't like anything that is "mixed up" so all casserolles are out. However...he will sit and eat a plate of raw vegetables (as longs as they are separate nad not mixed like coleslaw), so it is possible to get healthy food into him. Both my kids will eat salad...so it's a case of whatever I make, and however fussy they tend to be (dd16 is not so fussy), make sure I add salad regularly and we tend to cover most bases.

I got the 9 tray too because it was recommended (even though we are a family of 4). And it's true..when I do get around to dehydrating, it is pretty easy to fill up all the trays. Sometimes I feel that the 5 try would have been enough..but overall I am glad I bought the 9 tray. I highly recommend the teflex sheets. I make many things like corn chips and various patties that really need the teflex sheets. I only bought 4, but I could easily use 9 sometimes.

My info is all pretty similar to Negin's, yes. The thing is, I see the medical establishment as doing many, many amazing and virtually miraculous things in some areas. But I do also see them as treating people as rather stupid and everyone the same...as in, all women need to get tested (with various recommendations from their 30s to 40s to 50s, yearly to 3yearly), because most women wont bother to check themselves monthly. An article in our newspaper recently stated a study which suggested that monthly checking is superior to all this medical interference, especially because of the radiation that xrays cause- plus, as Negin quotes, the other inherent dangers in mammograms such as bursting possible tumours, causing them to spread. Biopsies hold similar dangers. Yes....mammograms do catch some cancers. And yes, even doctors accept they also cause some. It's a statistics thing. They are always working with the masses, not individuals. Yet we are all individuals. I am someone who takes responsibility for my own health and I take it seriously. I check myself regularly- I know my own breasts better than any doctor- I know what they feel like intimately. 2 years ago I went to my doctor for a women's wellness check and my doctor reckoned she felt a possible lump. I couldn't feel anything, my husband could not feel anything, and I had to wait for 3 weeks of stress to get a mammogram. There was nothing- I have 43 year old firm breasts- she was not familiar with my breasts. So why would I trust my doctor again when my own intuition, my husbands intuition, and our own fingers (which is all she used) could detect nothing? These things all feed on fear. And I encourage any woman at all who feel intuitively there might be a problem, to do something about it and not wait one more day....and I also encourage every woman to get REALLY in touch with her own body, and her own breasts. And to eat well, and follow cancer prevention stratgies. We are not victims here (the medical establishment tends to treat us as if we are)- there is a lot we can do to detect and prevent cancer OURSELVES....but because most women don't do that...we have massive government programs which actually financially benefit a lot of people. And i dont feel that the individuals who run these programs have bad intentions at all...but I am cynical about the intentions of multi nationals and I am cynical about recommendations that rake in a lot of money and are so general they do not take individuals into account. I am into empowering women. I believe the medical establishment does not do that, generally speaking. We are taught to believe the latest study as fact, even though in 10 years, what is given as fact now may well be discredited completely. For example, there is a lot of info now about the dangers of mobile phone radiation, especially on children, while we have been told for years it is safe- just because there were no long term studies. Same with hormone replacement therapy. The issue isn't really mammogram or no mammogram, to me, because i wouldnt want to discourage any individual from getting one if she somehow felt it was right for her to do so. The issue to me is whether you take responsbility for your own health, whether you are in tune with your own body, whether you love yourself enough to eat well and exercise, and have a healthy lifestyle...or at least be heading that way. I would rather see women take more repsonsibility and give up their power a lot less to the medical establishment including their local GP. We all have the internet...we can do the research. Many of us are experts in certain areas because our doctors do not have the time or inclination to research everything and stay up to date. We are disempowered. For some people, getting a mammogram might be a step toward taking some care of themselves, because they normally put themselves last on the list and wouldnt know if their body changed. For others, such as myself, we already take repsonsibility, and take care, and are in tune and watch our bodies closely. I would not expose my healthy body to radiation unecessarily, and to me, yearly mammograms in my 40s is very unecessary when there are other options available. If I feel any possible issue, I will go for an alternative such as thermograph...before a mammogram...or I might decide to just do a mammogram as a one off to see. It's the cumulative effect of year after year of mammograms I am concerned about, because radiation is not a healthy thing. Prevention is always better, of course, as well. Even doctors are now realising how much health and lifestlye is involved in cancer. But they still focus on testing because it is something they can do. It is up to each of us to take responsiblity and care for ourselves. I would not stress overly about getting any single mammogram, Dancer. Either do it or dont...it will most likely NOT be a life and death thing either way. However, I woudl encourage you not to believe blindly what the doctors tell you, and to eat well even though you smoke, and to look at giving up smoking because that is a huge health risk. YOu can do it. I would just enourage you to take care of yourelf, because you really do deserve it- everone does- and no one- no doctor, no xray, no well meaing advice- can substitute for genuine self care. We women tend to put ourselves way too low on our list of daily priorities when we should be putting that oxygen maks on ourselves first- feed ourselves well, exercise well, take rest time and self care time as a priority in our lives. These will go a long way towards cancer prevention AND cancer detection. When you get in tune with yourself, you do notice when things change. But I wouldn't also dream of discouraging you from getting a mammogram if you feel it would be a good idea, for you, in your particular situation.

Thanks for that, Negin. The info I have is similar.

I wouldn't. If you like I have some info I can send you- its too long to fit in here. (peela at iinet dot net dot au) I am 43. I wont be getting mamograms, but if I detect a problem with my own hands (something doctors tend to feel we are incapable of), I will get an ultrasound. I do do regular testing of myself.

My dd had a removable plate at age 8 for a year or 2 (can't remember how long) and it prevented her from needing braces later. Ds14 just got his braces on a few weeks ago, but he has always been very late to "teeth" etc and they had to watif roa few things to happen first.

The label really helped my son and I wish I hadn't waited till he was 12. On the drive home from being tested, he said "so, I am not stupid after all". The label helped him understand he was different. But, that was about it. In the end I have homeschooled him exactly the same as I did beforehand and I would do the same again. Copywork, dictation and narration were the foundation of his English program and the centre of his homeschooling until recently. The lady who tested him also runs programs and she told me what i was doing was infinitely more than she could do with a once a week session, and to just keep going. He doesnt really think much about it anymore. We dont mention it much- there is no need. He needs a lot more one on one from me than his sister and I just have to give it and be grateful that I can, and that he is not throwing paper aeroplanes and getting up to mischief in school becauyse he fell through the cracks.

I havent read the other replies, but losing 10% of your weight can be a seriously good thing, and perhaps you can convince your dh that that is enough for now? I an understand your motivation and I honestly feel that at your weight, it would be ok to lose weight fairly quickly AS LONG as you intended on changing the habits that made you overweight in the first place, and are not doing it to then return to it in a year. IN other words, this is your life, and if you are motivated to have a baby, hopefully you can be motivated to actually eat well in the long term in order to be around when that baby gets married and has your grandchildren.

I am moving more and more towards Simplicity and am doing a massive clear out of years worth of accumulated Stuff. I am going more for quality right across the board...but it doesnt always mean expensive. I will still enjoy my bargain hunting :) I have had bras fitted and spent way too much twice now for something I never wear because I cant stand underwires. I thought if I had them professionally fitted it would be ok. It wasnt. So I prefer my soft, very light support bras even though I am a 14C. And they are not expensive. But I would rather have 5 of those than a dozen expensive uncomfortable ones! I have a lovely collection of woollens, and I have just cleared out my wardrobe, and put a whole lot of other clothes aside, accessible, but I will see if I actually do wear them- then they earn their right back into my now fairly empty wardrobe. They only have another month or so to prove themselves worthy! . Its amazing how little of my clothes I actually do wear, so why are they sitting in my wardrobe? I have started looking for my "ideal wardrobe" and I dont mind paying more for a few good quality items. I have started letting the fridge empty itself out. So much food is wasted because there is too much in there and we cant even see the bowls of leftovers. My husband lives on yoghurt and raw sweetcorn at the moment. So, I stock up on yoghurt and sweetcorn and whatever I want, and something for the kids...and its nice to have space in the fridge. Yes, curriculum is something I have spent wildly on over the years. Not any more though. Its another area I dont feel the cost is justified a lot of the time..but it has taken me years to work that one out. And it probably does take most of us years to feel confident enough to bring it together ourselves. So, in most things, I would rather quality, and now even mosre so. I am doing a garage sale tomorrow and I am hoping to raise funds towards a Mac computer for myself.

My father used to go away a lot observing as an astronomer...once he stopped going away for weeks at a time...my parents divorced! I on the other hand have a dh at home much of the time and it is a challenge so I know exactly what you mean. I really did have to train him to respect school time. He still thinks nothing of coming in and talking to us about whatever seem important to him, while we are in the middle of something else. A lot of the time, I do let it slide and jsut try to answer him quickly so he can go out of the room, but sometimes I really have to get assertive and place some boundaries around our school time. He does understand. He just forgets, or decides to keep testing those boundaries or something like that. My dh has no interest in actually helping with school- he has other ways of interacting with the kids...and sometimes I need to remind myself that we homeschool for a variety of reasons and a bit more flexibility on my part to allow for a little bit of day to day flow, including a few interruptions from dh, helps it all go better. There is definitely a limit, though.

Thats funny. YOu received 3 replies...one saying no way, one saying yes, partly, and one saying yes all the way!

I highly recommend the process of filling out the schedule sheets. Very enlightening for me- they made me realise why I couldn't possibly fit in everything I was trying to fit in, each day. No way could I use all the curricula I wanted to use, plus keep the house clean and cook and shop etc. But no, I didnt stick to the schedules. I can never stick to schedules. BUt I still make them regularly...and then tweak them beyond recognition IRL. And over the years, I have become much more disciplined and organised...but it is more because fo the routines I have cultivated over the years, than any timed schedule. Its not worthless even if you dont stick to the schedules...but you might want to copy them or do them in pencil.

I think the word gay, even used towards inanimate objects, is definitely being used as derogatory towards gay men in particular, in this context- and i say that from experience of my two teenagers who have picked up that slang from their friends and have used it many times in front of me. When I call them on it- they just say no, it's fine mum, it's just slang, we dont mean anything...but when pushed to explain and defend their position, turns out they do mean it as a slant against gay people....who, basically, many teens are threatened by for some reason. I call them homophobic! My own son who has spent time with a family that is apparently quite anti- gay and it has rubbed off on him. His uncle is gay and we are working hard to "de-prejudice" him, but it has gone deep. Good on Calvin for standing up for what he knows is right. As a mother I can really understand your desire to protect him and help him integrate well into the school system....but I think I wouldn't ask him to compromise. We need people like him. My kids need to see people like him stand up for themselves. However, from another angle...using any form of aggression to fight what is actually a form of violence, is not necessarily the right way to go either. I dont know what is. I would love to know how he handles it in the long run.

Less processed. I always thought it was because once they are rolled, they are more open to oxidation. I eat rolled oats though. There is a lot of evidence that bran alone can irritate the bowel. Yes, its important to get enough fibre, but bran doesn't suit many people. Psyllium fibre can be good. The best though is lots of vegetables, especially leafy green vegetables. Leafy green vegies are a good laxative.

Full whole fats here- no trans fats or deep fried foods or processed vegetable oils which are heated- those kinds of fats are not healthy....but butter, ghee, whole milk, avocados, raw nuts, raw coconut oil and extra virgin olive oil....yes, unrestricted. The low fat movement is definitely responsible for a large part of our obesity epidemics. Fats have always been highly valued in traditional cultures. They contain important nutrients, especially for the brain and for growing children. You can't just discard a whole massive food group because it has more calories per gram than the other two massive food groups, and expect there to be no long term consequences. Fats makes us feel full and satiated- healthy fats that is. So, we naturally stop eating when our bodies have had enough. Fats make us feel content and comforted from our food..so we are less likely to then binge and overeat in an unbalanced way. It's not that Weight Watchers doesnt work...it does, because it is a restricted calorie diet...but it leaves you feeling starving and unsatisfied, so it takes massive willpower to keep going! And for many, the emphasis on carbs is not healthy, because if you cut out fats, you only have protein and carbs left. I am not a high protein diet fan either (bad for the kidneys), or even a high fat one...both have their problems. Just a balanced diet. For weight loss...instead, focus on eating whole, healthy foods in their natural, unprocessed form. Put butter on your toast and you are less likely to want a muffin or chocolate bar for morning tea. Put full cream milk in your coffee and it will tide you over for a while, because it is now a food. The taste alone of fats is comforting and satisfying and doesn't leave you craving. As others have said, Nourishing Traditions is a great book on this topic, but you dont even need to read a book on it. Just consider how people have traditionally eaten for thousands of years...they would literally travel hundreds of miles seasonally to get their fats, they wree so highly valued. Our grandparents ate bread and dripping during the war. There is plenty of info in the internet, and I dont agree with all of the Nourishing Traditions approach either...I find it a bit extreme, myself, and I personally prefer to keep my meat intake low for ethical reasons. I just eat normal, whole foods, and value my fats for how they help me feel happy and comforted by my diet. Then I don't obsess about food and think about it all the time, and so I don't overeat. If I ate what I see other people eat, I would be overweight. I dont restrict myself in how much I eat, but I do restict myself from eating modern, processed foods. But I lvoe my diet- it is varied, insteresting and satisfying. The emphasis on extreme and unbalanced diets in the last decades has left a trail of suffering and obesity as people try to squeeze themselves into unnatural patterns of eating. Your body knows what it needs and we are all a little different..some do fare better on more protein, or more fat, or more carbs, but we all need some of each, and most of us will be somewhere in the middle. I find a low carb diet is absolutely terrible for me (makes me feel depressed), and a low fat one makes me feel deprived and starving. I have tried many types of diets. I think its more important that you dont eat processed and deep fried foods, chemicals and preservatives, and artificial sugars....because they muck around with your natural hunger mechanisms. MSG makes you thirsty. Aspartame is poisonous. Dont believe the marketing of any goverment organisation or any other organisation with an agenda.

I love Angel- yes, he is goofy. The kids and I watched it all. No bad parts for us! However, we havent really got into Buffy...every time we try, it seems lame compared to Angel...so it might just be what you are familiar with.

Stories like this melt my heart so much...I think because I had such a troubled teenagerhood, I really have a soft spot for teens in difficulty. Blessings on you and your family for caring.

If I don't do it before school starts, it doesnt usually get done. School starts at 8.30. I don't really have much of a schedule nowadays...I just have a general morning routine (after years of tight scheduling -certain things, such as starting school at 8.30, are just routine).