This is our 18th year I think. :) Not sure what symptoms are disturbing you. The thing that drives me nutty is the inability to focus on one conversation or topic for very long- the jumping to another topic. It feels so...personal...and it is hard sometimes to remember its just his wiring and he is not pruposefully changing the subject from something deep and meaningful to what the dog did this morning :banghead: My main learning and lesson with my dh is to learn to accept him as he is, and to keep telling him - before I get too cross- when his behaviour is unacceptable. He has changed a lot over the years.

My dad sent me a copy of a letter my mum handwrote to his parents (on another continent) when she was pregnant with me. Mum and Dad were building their first home at the time, and one of the many things that touched me in the letter, was they she said they were "saving up to buy a sofa". Wow. We can buy a reasonable sofa for $40 2nd hand around here. We can even pick them up off the edge of the road at certain times of the year. Health insurance? Expensive. Sofa? Dirt cheap. Same with most items of furniture. We have literally 2 beautiful large desks for the kids, and a great wooden Balinese cabinet in my bedroom, that we got for free from neighbours just wanting to get rid of them . There was another amazing and gigantic, solid wood desk on the edge of the road a few days ago, but we just don't have any more space:) I realise not everyone is in our position (we live cheap in an expensive suburb), but its great you have found a way that works for you. I love our bargain hunting- it makes us feel great about our hodge podge furniture, and over time, and over time, mis matched furniture does become its own fashion statement :)

I have teens. I try to limit the amount of wheat we eat. I agree that modern hybridized wheat is probably not a generally healthy food. Since dh and his brother and both gluten intolerant, the chances of the kids becoming so are pretty high....but there is only so much I can do. When my kids were babies, I also understood that any foods they ate a lot of- in those first few years- were likely to be foods they might develop sensitivities to later. So I limited wheat and dairy way back. However, as the years have passed, it gets so hard to restrict their diets. I can set an example. I can educate them. I cannot force them, at this age. My dd16 is sensible and likes to take care of her diet, but she is already restricted and so although she doesn't eat a lot of wheat, she does eat some. Ds14...the one most likely to develop wheat intolerance...is a wheat pig. He knows wheat bix upsets his stomach. So does milk. So does soy milk. He craves them all. At the moment, he is on corn flakes with rice milk...which is barely even food in my book, but it makes him happy to be eating cereal. He makes himself wheat pasta virtually daily because he is so food fussy, he frequently needs to make his own meals. He eats white bread- I buckled and bought him some- he probably only goes through a loaf a month..but still, its not ideal to me. I dont know what to do about it. I put non wheat, healthy food on the table. They are teens- they want to fill up on starches. They want some autonomy over their own diets- and I feel that is reasonable. So...all I can say is that I empathise. And...food is food. The poor food is not evil. It's just the way our systems are designed to respond. I have heard that in Asia many kids get intolerant to rice. It makes sense. Wheat is our main grain- rice is theirs. My son will almost certainly become gluten intolerant within a couple of years- but I cannot stop him eating hamburgers and junk food when he goes out. There is a point at which you really do not have control any more. Meanwhile..when they are younger..no, I dont think some healthy bread here or there is going to do much harm. Anyway, by the time they are older, if they become symptomatic, the range of gluten free foods will be enormous :)

Loved CW Aesop. Loved some of CW Homer...but then got very bogged down. They are teacher intensive programs- you cannot generally hand them over. And if each child is at a different level it's very time consuming. I combined two at the time, and had my 3rd at another level ( i was homeschooling another kid) and I still found it exhausting. CW is brilliant, fantastc, wonderful, may well produce great writers...but the price is high. Its a lot of work, a lot of study for the parent, and really, the program could be a lot more user friendly. IEW never really appealed to me though. I did use the Medieval writing lessons and liked them. But I am terrible at watching DVDs. I would use Peace Hill products, I think, if I was going through again. I wish they had the logic stage writing course for my kids.

I agree that some good fats might help a lot. Coconut oil, butter...whatever it takes. Fats courish your system and make you feel satiated, and on such a restricted diet it doesnt sound like you need to worry about calories too much. In fact, without adequate fats, the compliance of a restrictive diet is much lower.

I looked high and low for a wallet/purse that I could use the envelope system with. I had been using little ziplock plastic envelopes with labels on them- very messy. I tried to buy off DR's website but they wont sell internationally. So I was getting very frustrated...because I kind of knew what I wanted...and I could see people making their own that looked cool but I wasnt that patient...and then, viola, I found this. savvy-cents.com She shipped to me in Australia and used Paypal. It was here in just over a week. I am thrilled with it. It is exactly what I wanted. Now instead of fumbling with finding the right envelope in my handbag, and having the small change fall out of them...I just open my purse. Just thought I would share. (my dh doesn't understand, but I thought someone here might :) ) The envelope budgeting system rocks, too. It has revolutionalised my finances.

My dd16 has been getting $20 an hour doing accounting/bookwork, since she was 14- 5 hours a week. She now needs a higher income...so is about to start some cleaning work- $20 an hour, maybe more. This is a mature kid, working for friends, and doing an adult job, getting an adult basic wage. Ds14 is working one day a week with friends who run a gardening and reticulation business. They started him on $10 an hour- half the adult wage yet more than he would get at McDonalds- and they have just raised his pay to $12 an hour. Both also get money for babysitting and for helping me do my cooking job. (I dont pay them that well though!). And some pocket money from their dad. They are lucky, we realise, and they realise. It has been good for them. The 14yo has matured so much since working with adult men- good quality, mature, caring adult men. However I am doing the Dave Ramsey program myself- loosely anyway- and I got them to sit down and work out a budget for themselves. We played with compound interest calculators and ds14 was very interested in how much money he could save by age 21 if he started putting away a decent amount of his paycheck now. Dd16 realised she wasn't going to be able to support her new car, get overseas and so other things she wants to do, on her present income. So she looked for, and found, more work within our immediate family and friends. Just doing a very simple budget has been a great incentive for my kids. Instead of vague ideas, and spending teh money in their wallets jsut because it is their..they have a plan. They have also both opened ING savings accounts in order to save for their long term goals. This has all happened this last week. If a kid has an incentive to save for something...something they want...you can structure a basic financial education around it. I was wondering how I was going to teach them what I am learning, because earning money does not equal having money- I have been talking to them about how I am no longer using my credit card, and I am working to a budget now. They are curious. So, it has all unfolded from their natural incentive to learn more about money and how to make it work for them. I dont think it is rocket science. There are some very basic fundamentals.

Yes, I am 43 and this has been an issue for me for several years. I used to tease and even get annoyed with my 13years older dh, as it hit him about the same age, while my memory was just fine! It does seem to have something to do with middle age, but I also wonder if we are simply in information overload nowadays, and are constantly overstimulated, and our brains cant hold it all. I wonder if it has always been the case- middle age memory loss. It has happened to most people I know. I also wonder if it is electromagnetic radiation overload affecting the way teh brain works- but then it shouldnt just happen in middle age, shoudl it? Unless thats just when we cant override it anymore. I have learned to write lists and try and finish one thing at a time. I am taking gingko and I must admit I think it is helping (it is a memory herb- helps circulation to the extremeties, and the brain is an extremeity :) ) But its the lists adn constantly writing things down that helps. As for walking from one side of the room to the other and foregetting why I did so...I guess I have got used to it, and I just stand there looking silly till it comes back to me. Its most noticeable when I walk two steps to the other side of my small kitchen and cant remember why.

Yes....asking the questions and looking for the answers is very much a part of human nature. amd a wonderful part. Drawing conclusions in order to feel secure is the bit I am referring to. The more you look and ask, if you are being truthful, IMO, the more you realise the answers are unknowable and the more you open to the vast unknown that is life- and keep opening. As Socrates said- the more you know, the more you realise you dont know. It doesn't mean you stop asking but you dont try to rest anywhere because there is no where to rest- it is not possible to draw a conclusion, it is only possible to believe you are right. Once you draw conclusions and claim your conclusion is correct, or more correct than others, in order to feel secure, that's when that wonderful open curiosity and acceptance of life as it is, is replaced by dogma and fundamentalism, in all its forms. No one knows.

Ideally diet would be enough, but who eats an ideal diet? Not to mention our depleted soils. I am not sure why iron is so difficult to absorb for many of us. I am lately suspecting widespread gluten intolerance, but too much dairy is also a factor for many- both gluten and dairy inhibit iron absorption- so does soy, and tea and coffee. I have chronically low iron levels despite eating some red meat and taking vitamins and a healthy diet. The thing that seems to help me more than anything is not taking iron itself, but spirulina and other green "superfoods", which is a term that refers to certain foods with very high levels of certain nutrients. Spirulina has a very high iron content, as well as more protein per gram than beef. My system likes it, but I take 5-10 grams a day, in tablet form, which is a lot of tablets (10-20) . You can also buy powder but it tastes gross. However...others will swear by various different supplements. Yes, you can make sure she is eating foods high in iron, but frequently that is impractical. I do prefer to be vegetarian but now and then my body just CRAVES red meat, and I will even eat liver (not raw, just fried with bacon- yum). Being in tune with one's own system is the best thing, but we westerners dont tend to be very in tune. I would also suggest that if your dd shows no signs of low iron- in particular tiredness - you could get a bloodtest before putting her on an iron or multi supplement. It is fairly common here to get teen girls tested for anaemia, as yes, it is a common problem. My dd16 was tested last year and found to be mildly anaemic (we took her because she was chronically tired), so we put her on spirulina and it helps, though we haven't had her retested. I do prefer superfoods, or diet changes, to taking synthesised supplements, however I will resort to vitamins etc at times.

Take the kids or leave them......what is the strongest OTC pain med? Sorry, thats my warped sense of humour.

What is it we need salvation from, again? First you need to accept the belief you need salvation from something, and that everything isn't actually perfectly ok as it is. Most cultures dont think we are born sinful, and I am not aware Jesus ever said that either. So why would they want to be saved?

I have an ipad. I dont like reading off the computer either, but I have no problem reading off my ipad. I set the contrast and print colour and size to my preference...I love it. It doesn't glare. I don't need a light on. My ipad lies next to me in bed at night. I use it mostly in bed, actually. I read (love the fact I can buy and download a book in seconds, in my bed.) I use the ipad function with the built in speakers to help my insomnia with various relaxation and meditation and music programs (and apps). THe sound quality is better than the ipod. I love that I dont need speakers- I am a little deaf, but I can sit it in the car with me, or next to me in bed, and I can hear it. I dont play much music- I listen to a lot of talks. In that way, spoken books would be great too. I probably could use my ipod the same but I never did. I like being able to check my email or the boards in the middle of the night, (if I cant sleep), in bed. But as far as ebook comfort is concerned- I havent seen the other technology (we cant get a kindle in Australia yet) but I am sensitive and wont read a book on my computer, but love it on my ipad. I love how I can bookmark pages to come back to! I use my ipad every day. Now when dh is reading the paper in the morning, I can sit next to him and use my ipad to check and read various things, and we can chat and spend some time together. My computer is in another room. ETA: I use the free kindle ap to buy, download and read on my ipad. We cant buy kindles here, but we can buy many kindle books. I find it amazing.

To add some more to that....why do people want to know so much, that wihch they cant possibly know? Because of fear. Wouldnt it be better to face that fear, than make stuff up just to feel secure?

It all rests on so many beliefs. I believe this or that. It doesnt matter what you believe, or I believe. I think we are better off being honest and being with the truth- we dont know- that imposing beliefs upon what we simply do not know. I find it quite ok to not know.

I added a soaked grain bread recipe in the other thread. http://www.2die4livefoods.com.au/recipes.html Dh is gluten free and strictly vegetarian (he eats eggs daily though)...its not so easy but we are finding substitutes. He is having eggs on rice cakes for breakfast. He loves rice so rice dishes are doing well- various curries and rice, stir fry vegies and rice, fried rice . I make a lot of salads. We had miso soup last night, with rice crackers. It is very possible. We tried shop bought gluten free bread. That stuff is disgusting, and looking at the ingredient list, I really cant see how good it is for you. I do have a good home made gluten free recipe but teh ingredients are a little obscure and I have only made it once. So I am making my soaked spelt bread for occasional bread, and the rest of the time, we use rice as our main grain, and eat ltos of vegies, eggs for protein (I eat some meat and fish when I crave more protein). Its not so doable..but I havent yet bought a vegetarian gluten free cookbook and cant find one in my library- they all have meat recipes. Well, if you eat meat, its not really a problem is it! (from a vegos perspective).

Here is a bread recipe a friend of mine created and which I use. It makes a lot of bread- I halve the recipe for 2 small/medium loaves. This friend was the one that taught me about the history of breadmaking and this technique. I use spelt flour, but he uses wheat. He used to be unable to eat bread until he started making this bread. http://www.2die4livefoods.com.au/recipes.html I just did a search for "soaking grains" and lots of info came up. However, 2 of the wbsites I hit form the first page were loaded with viruses, so just be careful. There is a lot of info about it around nowadays. I just soak everything overnight- but many sites give you times for each grain. Small seeds like sesame only need an hour or so. I do enjoy soaking my grains and nuts nowadays. I often make a raw porridge, and I have a handful of almonds, and a handful of prunes or dates, that I leave to soak overnight. The next morning I add a handful of coconut and a choppped apple. Then I blend it to make porridge.

LibraryLover, anyone would think you are trying to make a stir! :lol: I would have thought that it would be congruent with extreme modesty to not try to drawn attention to oneself as a sexual being except within ones marriage, however, I guess that doesn't mean one cant look pretty or lovely. I don't know how people like that think- I am sure it is very individual. I think long hair is beautiful, and skirts are feminine. I dont get why showing skin is not ok, because often it doesn't look as beautiful as someone beautifully and modestly dressed. I am not particularly modest- well, I am because I am not young and flirtatious any more, and dont wear clothes to be deliberately provocative, but I have no problem with nudity or bikinis- I don't wear high heels or paint my nails more than once or twice a year because I am very practical and not especially "feminine" in that regard. I am more crunchy in that regard (love that word- we don't use it in Australia but I think we should) and prefer my birks and rarely wear "pretty" sandals. I like to feel the ground and feel earthed. I dont own high heels, but I do have some sexy boots my dh likes me to wear on the motor bike (along with my black leather gear). No skin showing there. I think a woman in high heels can look great though, and sexy, and eye catching, and I dont have a problem with that! I have the girliest daughter you can imagine who has 25 pairs of high heels (all op shop) and long painted nails and is totally conscious of her sexiness without actually wanting to create trouble for herself. She is also down to earth, playful, has many male friends AND would punch or kick anyone who tried to take advantage of her! We women have plenty of options- we are not victims, and we can be beautiful AND powerful! Why we need to protect men from themselves I do not understand. Most men I know do really not need that sort of protection- they are quite grown up. I don't know why we have to go to extremes. I have no problem looking at a guy in a Jaguar. More likely, I would notice, nowadays, a good Harley Davidson because thats how my dh has trained me :) I have no problem with any of it. I think its great we live in a diverse society. How awful if we were all the same. I think Muslim women bathing together has a beauty in it. I lvoe women only groups and think there is definitely a place for them- we have gone too far into androgeny. I hope they feel free in that and that they are choosing that lifestyle for themselves because it works for them, rather than being dictated to by a patriarchal religion...but it's not my business.

For those who are not caeliac, there is another possibility. If you soak your grains overnight before cooking, it makes them easier to digest. I made dh (now all gluten intolerant) some bread which I left to rise all night- a good 12 hours- then another 2 hours on the 2nd rise. Really well fermented. He handled it pretty well. He misses bread under his morning eggs. He doesnt want to have it often but its there in the freezer, pre sliced, in case he is desperate. The thing with bread is that until the mass production of bread in the middle of last century, bread was always left to rise overnight, which gives the gluten plenty of time to ferment OUT of your body, before you ingest and digest it. (otherwise it ferments IN your body).Fermenting is like predigesting. Traditional cultures all know this and you will notice they soak and ferment their grains. Once we got mass scale bread production, and they learned to rise bread in just a short few hours, to get through three batches a day...this whole wheat intolerance thing started its long road to where it is today and so many people cannot digest it anymore. Of course it is also because wheat has been bred to have such a high gluten content- much more than 100 years ago- and we are not built to handle it - we havent had enough time to adapt. SO...I too would like to be pretty gluten free, and I dont eat much at all...but when I do, I soak it overnight first. So I soak my porridge oats overnight. I leave bread to rise for 12 hours (and use spelt flour which is much easier to digest as it is an older breed). I also soak my brown rice (not that it has gluten, but it also helps it digest and makes it softer rather than chewy).

Obviously Aussie $ are different but I suspect we would be over your $800 limit, for famaily of two adults and two teens (we are certinaly over in Aussie $) We have always tended to lash out on groceries, and in a ways, its just because we could afford to. With 4 people having various fussy food preferences, there always seems to be such a variety of food needed. I have always used a list, and bought on special..but still, it always went pretty high. Once I was buying more and more organic fruit and veg, it went way up. Then we had a bit of a financial crisis...not major, but I decided we needed to budget. I have asked dh for a food budget so that I can try to manage it and stay within it- at first I asked for not enough. Now I think maybe its the right amount but it is plenty- leaves enough for some organic produce at the farmers markets at the end of the week, which is perfect. I havent noticed the nearly $400 a month less I am spending on groceries, to tell the truth. We were wasting a lot. I am enjoying keeping to a budget. And yes, that money is being reallocated to other areas.

I am not in the same situaiton (although my dh works from 8-11pm most evenings) but I am wondering...do you give yourself a rest or break in the middle of the day? It makes all teh works of difference to me if I get my afternoon rest time. If I dont..I am also exhausted by 8pm. If I get my rest, the quality of my afternoon and evening is improved immensely, and I can turn out my light at 10pm.

I am introverted because I recharge by being alone and quiet, not because I can't participate in a social situaiton. I am not a party person- I do not socialise well at general, large functions, especially where the conversation stays fairly superficial- but I am fine at having a voice in a group of women having a reasonable conversation. Which is how I see these boards. It is however highly possible that the last 6 or 7 years I have been visiting these boards, have contributed to the fact that I have found my voice even more, and am much more able to express myself that I used to be.

in a super big fruit bowl in the foyer at the top landing- works better than the kitchen/ dining room space wise but is nearby.

yes, I am open to the idea, however I am not thinking to offer it straight up. The hardest part of homeschooling for me has been the amount of socializing my kids have needed- going to park days etc as a grandparent while others are so much younger might be difficult, and less rewarding...but who knows, I might get introverted grandkids! I'm open, but a shared sort of arrangement would be important. After homeschooling another persons child, I am aware of the issues of taking responsibility when the parent kind of doesn't and just wants you to do it for them. That doesn't work well.

My youngest started homeschooling first,e at age 7- he is now 14. He has at times wanted to return to school- and he has usd it as a threat to me, too, but when push comes to shove, he really doesnt want to return to school. If he didnt have kids in the street to play with after school time, it might be different. Both my kids are very social extroverts, unlike me. My dd16 was 9 when she started homeschooling and she wasnt willing at first- we forced her and she was not happy about it. Once I found her friends who homeschooled, she flourished. She is so strongly peer influenced, we homeschooled her to limit her contact with friends we didnt feel were a good influence- to help her make good choices. Nowadays, her friends are varied and of all types- she is not especially overprotected. Last year, yes, she wanted to return to school. Activities with other homeschoolers dropped off for us, and she wanted more socialisation, basically. I was willing to put her in school for her happiness- dh was not. Instead, what I did was helped her find a path...we worked hard to find what she wanted to do. She started a correspondence course in media studies, and looked into what she could do after that- which is starting in February. It would be her equivalent of year 12, but she will be in full time college which should get her into university if she so chooses. It is a fairly academic course (mass communications/journalism) and she is satisfied that it will fulfill her needs for socialisation as well (it is on campus but she will live at home). Meanwhile, she has stepped up her involvement in the Venturer (teen Scouts) movement and that is where she has her socialisation mainly nowadays. So yes..it has been tricky. No, not sure at this stage that they would want to homeschool their own kids (they know its hard work!). No, they do not think homescholing is the be all and end all. But both are fine with it at this stage. Both recognise the immense freedom and free time they have, compared to their schooled peers- time to work part time, time to follow their interests. Just spare time. But we are not hugely academic homeschoolers, even though dd16 has that capacity. She pretty much coasts along and has a rich life that is varied and her energy goes in a few different directions. That is what we appreciate about homeschooling, and the kids do appreciate it.