I have looked at this too because I am a one handed, 6 o clock driver too. My father brought it to my attention when he visited recently. He and his wife commented that they felt very safe driving with me, and that I seemed like a good driver- yet I drive the same as my dad- one handed, 6 o clock. Of course, I put 2 hands on as soon as I need to and rarely turn a 90degree corner with one hand :) Since they made the comment I have really been noticing...and I feel I have a lot of sensitive and fine motor control of the steering wheel driving this way. I have consciously tried other ways and it doesnt feel comfortable to me. Of course, we have power steering- I couldnt do it without it, I imagine. ETA I never text or answer my mobile or even fiddle with the radio while driving. The other hand often just rests on my lap.

Dh and I have been together for 18 years and have always had our own bedrooms, and almost always preferred to sleep apart. We both love the arrangement. Our bedrooms are close. dh has a huge TV plus a computer, in his room and he is a night owl.He also has the master bedroom with ensuite because...well he has more clothes and needs it.I have the most beautiful room with afternoon sunlight and a tree outside.Everyone loves my room. It is a real sanctuary. it is just how I love it. I am an early morning riser, and go to bed early. I read a lot and meditate. It is perfect. It works well for us. We would not survive sharing a room. We love it. We sometimes have afternoon naps together. Until dd was 11 or so, the kids shared a room though. That worked well too. And I did family bed a lot too- but not dh. Takes all types, eh? I found the articles reasons for sharing to in no way compensate for the benefits of having our own private space. The fact that dh has mostlyworked from home,and we see plenty of each other factors in there too.

DH is a psychotherapist- not a psychologist though. So yes, it's all spoken about freely here. Talking about people's "issues" is kind of normal for us. Really...most of us have issues one way or another, some are more extreme.

Natural health- herbalism, ayurveda, various diets especially raw foods....all sorts of healing techniques. Flower essences. Essential oils. Shamanism. Earth religions. Eastern religions. Meditation. Womens health, also women's spirituality, women's circles, women's studies. Cooking/food preparation. I have been into knitting, sewing medieval costumes, painting and various other creative pursuits. For about 7 years, homeschooling was my main obsession, apart from my own spirituality. The last 12 months or so that obsession has waned to just what I do, which I still enjoy and want to do...but I don't spend time researching and perfecting it like I used to. The kids are getting older and their lives dont revolve around me the way they used to. So it seems natural to also give more time to my other interests.

You are sweet. I dont know if I talk fast or slow but I type really fast - trying to keep up with my thoughts before they disappear into oblivion-but then make lots and lots of typos which annoys me no end because I should have just typed more carefully in the first place because it takes so much time to go back in fix them all. :)

My ds14 is like that and has always been immature...but yes, he is "catching up" now. The last 6 months have seen him change immensely and really mature. The leaders at Scouts notice it. Relatives notice it. It seems to correspond with maturing physically, in his case. He has grown a lot in the last 6 months. He has tended to play with younger kids mostly. The boys in the street are younger and he is the "leader" of them. But nowadays he is getting on better with kids his own age, too. He also loves much older boys where his immaturity doenst matter because he is obviously the youngest. School wise, he repeated a year before he homeschooled and I just teach him at his own level. Sport wise...it didnt seem to matter. He got into the bottom team anyway and they were all like that! He is an excellent gymnist so age never mattered there. His dad was a late maturer also. For some males, I do think its their 20s before they really mature. Other might be late teens. But there are many, many so called "immature' ones and I think "immature" might be pretty normal.

Thats what I was going to say. Partnership doesnt mean that one is always checking what the other is doing to see if its as much as yourself. You just give 100%. If the other partner only gives 80%, that's still a 180% marriage! Sometime only 1 partner can give 100% for a time, then maybe the other at a different time. But trying to think 50/50 doesnt work. I think 100% is how love thinks, and 50/50 is a business deal. Practically speaking, it's a division of duties so that neither is overworked and overwhelmed, when the other could be helping. But sometimes we need to ask for that....partners cant read minds and sometimes are too distracted to notice. Emotionally (and perhaps spiritually) speaking, its taking care of each other, while at the same time not making the other responsible for oneself. Its a sense of sharing ones life together, and a sense that one's partner is a soft place to land if one needs support, or just at the end of a hard day. At the same time, I think a partnership is, as Kahil Gibran says, more like two pillars standing alone holding up a building, together, rather than two pillars leaning against each other to hold each other up. Partnership should support individuality and independence, and growth, rather than foster too much dependence. That's a healthy partnership, rather than a co-dependent one. Partnership needs to support both individuals as separate individuals, and allow for the full range of needs to be met both within and from without the partnership, rather than trying to meet all needs from within the partnership. In other words, partnership is in the context of broader community and can rarely stand without a broader context to draw from. So, I have my girlfriends, and these boards, and a couple of male friends, and various spiritual groups, who I will also share myslef with and drawn nourishment from. Dh is the same. So we arent just relying on each other for support and nourishment and love....and so when it doesn't come from the partner for whatever reason, the whole world doesn't collapse. At the same time....we ask for what we need and make time just for each other to keep our partnership renewed and alive rather than stale.

Perhaps if you only have a few minutes, and its on her turf, there is no hope. But if you have more time, you could connect with them first. As in, reallyconnect with them. Not try to brush them off. Greet them as if you are realyl happy to see them.Get down to their level and ask what they are trying to tell you, and give them, one at a time, your 100% attention. I find that once kids get 100% attention and feel heard, they are content for a while. Maybe these kids are clamouring for being really heard and it is expressing in an out of control, chaotic kind of way? The only way I can imagine it working is if you have an individual, loving connection with each child...so that then you can also come from that place where you tell them it is time to give you some time to talk to their mum, and you will come and see their cubby house, or whatever it is they want, before you leave. I tihnk thats what I would do if I really wanted the friendship, or if it was my extended family. And I had already tried everything you had tried. YOu dont get to be just friends with the mum in some cases...you get the whole kaboodle. ANd if it works, that can be its own blessing.

Dh and I both, pretty equally, in our own way. As Jean says....being the one with the kids the most, there is a lot of spiritual leadership going on in that way. But dh contributes in his own way. We do not particularly defer to each other though...we just both share as we see fit. We both are of the understanding that our goal, as well as our day to day reality, is to "be a light unto yourself", so there is no external authority....although guidance can be sought and/or received from many places. It must always resonate within. We do not teach the kids to succumb/surrender to an external spiritual authority but we do provide guidance to the best of our ability.

I understand you want the kick up the pants, and there is a good place for that, to instigate change, and take some responsibility, and to come out of denial. But then...I think you have to be gentle with yourself. Being a parent IS hard and though the kids never deserve our anger and negativity....the antidote to anger is gentleness, not to keep kicking oneself! If you forgive yourself- not as an excuse to continue your behaviour, but as a genuine act of compassion towards yourself- think what a wonderful example you are setting your kids. They then have permission to forgive themselves when they make mistakes- evne if you get upset with them. I was much less patient when my kids were little...I think I am better with older kids than pre-school age ones. But I have noticed that I have grown over the years. And my kids have strong self esteem. And they do forgive themselves. Lol, sometimes its irritating how much they forgive themselves! But I am happy about it. I think one of the best things is to be able to laugh at yourself, keep a sense of humour, and include the kids in that. So if I am irritable, I will (well, when I am aware enough to and not too caught up) say so, and allow the kids to gently tease me about it too, to a point. If I lost my temper, I will take some space to cool down, go back and make amends. Sometimes apologise if that fees right. I dont pretend I am beyond needing to apologise. I have had many conversations over the years that have gone something like "Gee, I have really been grumpy lately, havent I? I am sorry. I do get annoyed when you do such and such, but I think I over reacted this morning." And then a hug, or accept some eye rolling and exclamations like "oh yeah, you sure were grumpy!" Or, after noticing I have nagged them about their chores a lot, and they have basically been good...I might just spontaneously go and do one of their chores for them. Kids are remarkably resilient. If you tell them what you are noticing in yourself, and say you are sorry, you will melt their dear hearts and they will understand and have compassion. You can even ask for their help to change. My son has a way of telling me when I am actually, genuinely out of line, and being so spot on, I have a lot of respect for his insight. Sometimes when I am upset with dh, ds14 will also offer me insight that just knocks my socks off, and he has done the same with dh. In other words, you are human, your kids are human, and we are all in this human thing together. If you are hard on yourself beyond giving yourself a good slap to wake up out of the dream that it is always someone else's fault that you are grumpy, you just get harder. It sounds like you need some gentleness on yourself, a good cry now and then to soften, and some time not being in the "parent" role so much as just enjoying Being with your kids. As far as cleaning and chores and things go....kids are kids and I often think the trap we as parents- or at least, I can speak for dh and I- fall into, is expecting too much. Expecting more than reality is saying is what is. So if they need reminding a thousand times, they need reminding a thousand times. Anger always bites you first. If they can't do it well alone, do it with them. If they make a mess, follow through on getting them to clean it up straight away. Dont let it slide and then lose your temper 6 hours or a day later when its still not done. Flylady helped me a lot to get a good attitude towards helping kids clean up. First I had to change my own attitude and stop whining and blaming, and clean up my own messes first. I am sure most of us can relate to what you are saying. Its always a work in progress.

We have aspects of both. think if there is love and respect, there is a good foundation. My dh is far more affectionate than me and we hug regularly, and snuggle, but that whole ' in love' thing tends to mature into a different sort of love. It has not been such a problem for us to have our different roles in marriage. Dh doesn't help much,but it works ok.Iget plenty of time and space to myself- he always makes sure of that.

I know I would use natural treatments, diet etc....and I would be open to using chemo/allopathic treatments as well, but I would not necessarily use them. I would research a lot, listen to my intuition, and then decide. I know people who've gone both paths. I knew a woman who refused allopathic treatment, and used alternative (diet, herbs etc) and I knew she was in denial...I could see it and feel it in her...about how serious her cancer was and how far it was spreading. I, along with others, had to really encourage her to do whatever it took....by the time she did get radiation treatment it was just too late. She left a couple of gorgeous kids. My uncle was given 3 months to live and lived another 3 years of good quality life because he allowed himself to be a guinea pig for experimental therapies. There is the psychological side to it all too. In some ways, or at least in many cases, I think once the psychological side is dealt with- as in, the person goes through a 180 degree turn in their life, and has a major wake up call, and they respond.....then in many ways the treatment doesnt matter so much. If they are going to heal, they will heal. And sometimes they die of cancer before the body can recover, but on another level they are very healed. I love reading near death stories too of people who literally die after having cancer for years, and then are told to come back (by whoever it is up there who does that), and they do, and they are found to have no cancer left in their system. Amazing. I like to stay as open minded as possible, and I dont like to give up my power to the medical profession, but at the same time, I am grateful for what they can actually do nowadays. I think the most important thing would be to take complete responsibility, educate yourself and then do what seems to be the best thing at the time. A suggestion for those who would try various natural methods...dont wait till you get cancer to get your diet healthy, to try meditation, to learn how to manage stress, and to tell your loved ones how much you love them. The link between diet and many cancers is already proven, so why wait to eat your greens, your vegies, your fresh diet?

I voted the 4th choice,because it was the closest. I only do my own laundry and the towels. everyone else does their own. So laundry is not such a big deal to me.

Until 4th grade I was at the local primary school. 4th to end of 10thgrade I went to a private Christian girls' school which also had boarding facilities. I could have boarded because I lived a fair way away, but I would have been devastated to board- none of the boarders liked it either. Instead I caught a bus and train to school each day, and walked a fair way. It made me very independent. Then my mother moved to the country after my parents divorced,and I relaly wanted to live with her. The girls school was so not me and I never liked it. I wanted to find like minded kids- I was quite quirky and "alternative". I moved with my mum and went to the local really rough country highschool- it was still an hour's bus drive away, and I had to catch a ferry as well to get to the bus....quite an adventure. But somehow I fitted in better there and found a couple of "quirky" friends to hang out with. I was an average student at the private school but at this school I was top of the year in several subjects and with our scaling system did very well in my final exams. I found school to be a prison though. Coudlnt stand it. I am glad for teh education I got at the private girls' school- fairly classical. But socially, I preferred the public, country high school because my individuality was more accepted there- probably partly because I excelled academically.

It is a myth that one needs dairy for calcium. Millions of cows right across the planet do not eat dairy, and they have plenty of calcium. :001_smile: Up your greens intake - greens have lots of calcium (ask cows!). Also, tahini (sesame seed paste) is particularly good.

We did it chronologically teh first time through. The 2nd time (kist were the same ages as your eldest two) I used K12's History Odyssey and I really loved doing it that way. I would do it that way again if given a choice. It was by civilisation. The book is a narrative...doesn't have questions/exercises. I picked it up 2nd hand and used other resources for writing. For us, civilisations just worked better at that point. I still love the chronological approach.

Can you make sure the receptionists know, for sure, that you only want to see your particular chiro and no other? Tell them every time if necessary. Maybe even check when you get there. That way you don't need to deal with the chiro directly- it shouldn't get to the point where you are having to deal with a different chiro directly. It might mean being more diligent and even come across as overly fussy, but you are the patient, and I certainly dont think you are being unreasonable. I know many people would feel the same about a particular chiro.

Lol, let that anger flow! Wow, I would be furious too! ANd yet I can still see teh funny side. But really! Talk about crossing boundaries! That is SO inappropriate. I dont think I would allow my child to be alone with her, to tell the truth. Do you know about passing the bean dip? For many of us, we have simply learned not to engage with people like that on the topic of the decisions we have made regarding homeschooling our children. I suggest you send her the information, and then refuse to discuss it further with her. Just say something like "this is my decision, and he is my child, and I dont want to discuss it further with you" when she brings it up. I would say it is past time to draw a line and tell her to back off. DOnt worry about having to deal with her in the future- she has shown you where she stands and that she doesn't really respect your ability to parent. How much do you want her approval anyway? If you make a firm stand now, she may flip out in the short term, but in the long run, if you don't teach her to respect you, she won't.

As far as I know yes, you probably need to make a different calendar for each subject. I think thats one of the ways Gcalendar works- you make multiple calendars, and each is a different colour, so you can see whether the kids' schedule clashes with your dh's etc.

Lol, you really want to hear? Don't tell your dh! Dh came home from the short operation, rested an hour or so, then went to work (at home, giving a massage). Yes, he had been told to take the rest of the day off. He came out from that massage, and fainted on the floor. He'd never fainted in his life before. Shortly afterwards we realised that one of his testicles was swollen. Fast forward the next few weeks. He swelled to the size of a cantaloupe, and the blood pushed up to just beloow his belly button. He did spend some time in hospital but there wasnt much they could do but pain relief. Then when the swelling went down there were two golf ball sized hematomas that needed operating on, and eventually the whole thing reduced and healed. That's when he became a Treckie. He sat in bed and watched episode after episode for weeks. He also got addicted to codeine which was a bit difficult to deal with later. We think it may have happened because he regularly took Vitamin E, which is an anticoagulant. That, and the fact he stood for an hour doing manual work within a couple of hours of the operation. It's been a funny story to tell over the years. Guys sit there with their legs crossed. We are pretty sure he is pretty infertile after all that :) Most guys have no problem, of course.

I have gone back to baking soda, with a lemon juice rinse, because my scalp was itching with any shampoo, even SLS free. It really seems to be good for my hair, but sometimes my hair gets a bit dry so I am using a small amount of conditioner on the ends after using the baking soda and lemon juice. However, now you have me thinking that honey might make a good conditioner- althought I would probabyl rinse, and use the lemon juice rinse afterwards. Worth a try!

Sigh. I love Waldorf stuff. Theres a saying around here that parents send their kids to the local Waldorf school because they love all the crafts and lovely things they do (for themselves). I tried to homeschool Waldorf fashion but my son just wouldn't. I think if we had done it from the beginning I coudl have done it but he had been burned by school and wouldn't "be creative"- he just wanted to "get it over with". My stepdd went to a Waldorf school for a few years. We did the nature table, I tried to do the main lesson book (love the concept, didn't work for us), we made crafts and kneaded bread dough. I tried to do more drawing with our school but ds rebelled. I tried to make our work look aesthetic, but it didn't happen. Waldorf is actually fairly classical and I don't have a problem with the philosophy either. I love going to our local Waldorf shop and browsing.

I think its a pretty strong thing to put on her and is possibly more about your own wounding than in your daughter's best interests. I think it could be a wonderful thing to encourage...but not to demand or enforce, or put a "should" around. It is a lovely thing when young women step out of their self absorbed worlds to attend to other children in social situations....but it sounds like you have quite a strong emotional load around it and maybe you could be more encouraging without feeling so expectatious that she will fulfill your desire? She is her own person. Connecting with her and sharing your own feelings about it, and why you have them, might help her to see it from your perspective more than making her feel somehow it is obligatory to take care of other people's needs. I just think there is a balance there and you have already made up your mind that because of your own childhood loneliness, your daughter should help all potentially lost and lonely children in her circle....and that might be a burden she is willing to carry because she resonates with it...or it may not. If it isnt, you may alienate her and upset yourself unecessarily. I suggest just lightening up about it, thats all.

No, I don't feel guilty. Sometimes I feel jealous that he has a career. But I get a lot of positive energy from various people in my life for homeschooling, and a lot of people thinking I must be amazing, so I get plenty of strokes. But mostly, I work just as hard or harder than he does. He doesn't always acknowledge that, but he only actually works 20-30 hours a week, and I work more than that at the moment because I homeschool, do ALL the housework (apart from kids' chores) and have 2 part time jobs, one of which is a new business that needs a lot of attention. I work hard! I haven't always had "productive" work to show though, and I think that is what makes people feel guilty with little kids. Changing nappies that need changing again and again, answering endless questions, just being there and available for kids day after day, year after year, is very tedious work that is fairly unrecognised and isolating in our society. It doesn't feel like one is doing anything useful...nothing is produced at the end of the day except an alive, sometimes screaming child.....yet of course we know it is incredibly valuable work. And because a woman CAN go to work and also have children, many presume she should. That being productive is important. My husband wants me to stay home though, so I dont feel guilty. Quite the opposite. I dealt with my feminist programming a long time ago- the thoughts that say I should be out there in the workforce being "equal" with men, and leaving my kids to others to bring up.

I do think sleep is very important but if you are trying to establish a new routine, I wouldn't back down over some lost hours of sleep. Get them up at the same time every day. If you want them up at 7, and they get up at 5.30...either go with it, or, tell them to stay in their rooms till 7am. Tell them what you are doing and stick by it. You cant make them fall asleep, but you can make them stay in their rooms/beds. My kids would prefer to be night owls now that they are teens but it just doesnt work for homeschooling bcause they have afternoon activities so we need to do most of our work in the mornings. So I wake them up at 7, if they havent already woken themselves, which is what they are meant to be doing. My teens are ages 14 and 16- all electronics go off at 8.30 pm so that they can do dishes and chores, and go to bed, and supposedly read, and still get a good 9-10 hours sleep, which both still need. During holidays they revert to really late nights and sleeping in...but that doesn't work for us during school days. I am pretty relaxed in many areas but I learnt early on with homeschooling that this is one of those issues that is crucial to how well our days go...both that we start early, and that they (and I) get enough sleep.