:iagree: Also- we don't "own" them. They are their own people, especially by 17. They should be owning themselves by around that age. I think it is an issue of control- the OP wants to control what her son does everywhere, at all times, to make sure he doesn't do what she thinks is wrong. Other parents just are not going to comply with her, because they are unique individuals with their own values- probably even well thought out values- and to judge them so badly and try to control what goes on in their house is an inappropriate use of control and power, IMO. To me it is a control issue and that is very common with parents and their teenagers- and it is a two way thing- the parents need to let go of control, over time, and the teenagers need to step up in responsiblity (or not- the parents will still need to let go of control). Its a dance that happens over those years. But the parents do need to keep looking at how much control is appropriate. The OP is at least asking for feedback- we all have to self reflect on this issue and we all respond a little differently. The line I feel she stepped over is asking another parent to uphold her values- she does not respect theirs because they are more liberal. That just makes them more liberal, not wrong, and I don't feel it is her place to try to control them. I think the point is to keep examining ourselves and recognise where we are coming from- our agenda- and examine whether we are being rigid, dogmatic, refusing to let go, all those things. It's not just about the teens and a black and white right and wrong issue. If we don't let go appropriately, our relationship with our teens also suffers. There will be feedback that forces us to reflect - whether we get more and more rigid, or learn to let go appropriately, is our own journey and we all make it in our own way and timing.

Limit activities to afternoons if possible- keep at least 3-4 mornings a week at home to get school done. Start the day with a cleaning routine- dishes, chores, one extra job, a load of washing. Don't try to do housework while homeschooling- schedule housework before or after schoolwork. Treat the homeschooling part of the day as your job. I used the Flylady system to generally keep my housework happening but not overwhelming and i used it to help the kids keep themselves organised and helping. Get a steady rhythm and routine going. I am a morning person- I would get up before everyone else for some quiet time- but we would start school by 8.30am- after breakfast and chores. Regular, daily routine. I would finish by a certain time each day so that I could get other things done. There is actually a limit to how much schoolwork can get done reasonably each day and year. Be at peace with it and just prioritise. Afternoon rest time was important to me.

I like it. A rental house inspection was my motivation this week. We remembered the night before. I was up cleaning the oven, because they said they would check- last time it was dirty. So I cleaned the oven for the first time in the 5 or 6 years we have lived here. It took a whole 3 minutes to spray, half an hour to leave, and maybe 10 minutes to wipe out. It is sparkling! I forgot to clean the microwave though, which is filthy from some very messy younger people who live here and make themselves nachos. I don't think the inspector looked at that though- or she politely didn't say anything.

I like low caffeinated Madura Earl Grey Tea. It is Australian, and it is naturally low in caffeine. I have 2 cups every morning and I have it with milk and honey. I love Earl Grey teas because I love the bergamot flavouring- bergamot is a natural anti depressant :) . But I will also drink plain Madura. I also like chai (milky tea with spices), vanilla rooibos, and dandelion coffee, all with milk and honey. Herbals teas without milk- peppermint, and rose flavoured tulsi are my current favourites. I also like the earthy, green flavour of nettle tea, which is high in iron.

Today I am thankful for my husband, and that we had a really good, deep, interesting conversation today. Lately i have been feeling distant from him, and today helped me feel much more connected.

I agree with Jean that homeschooling is efficient. I do think it is possible for kids to "catch up". I think the OP is coming too much from the perspective that homeschooling is just school at home. It isn't- it is far more than that. And "getting behind" is really a school type thinking. So much of school is repetitive. What is "getting behind" anyway? Not finishing a certain text book? Schools frequently don't finish text books. There is no set content. And skills are learned sporadically and can often be learned in shorter times with focused attention. Homeschooling has so much inherent flexibility that a few months here and there over the lifetime of a child is very redeemable.

My room has white furniture and bedding, off white walls, with gold curtains, and it gets afternoon sunshine. I love it.

Lots of physical touch and reading together, and regular routines. If I had my time over I would have been more organised and disciplined from birth, and trained them to be more organised- put away their toys etc. I was a fairly chaotic, messy person until they were around 7 and 9, when I learned to be organised (through Flylady). I would have liked to have had those earlier years to establish good habits- I started a bit late.

Just so you know (although maybe someone else mentioned it- I did not read the whole thread)- here in Australia we don't go to paediatricians unless referred for specific issues from our MD. A nurse does Well Baby visits. They weigh, check for various things. I went to a couple of visits for both my kids. Then I stopped. The paper trail I left was null and void when the doctor's office converted to computer files- all the paper files were stored somewhere else and inaccessible. No big deal. I think it depends a lot on whether you are a grounded, common sense person who has a basic idea of what something going wrong might look like. There are signs and symptoms for everything. Many people are so idealistic about vaccines and child rearing ideas, that they are not really grounded in common sense at the same time (and the same could be said of many of those who have stong views either way). Trust your mother instinct, read a lot about baby milestones and growth patterns- educate yourself well- then work with a doctor as needed. Use them- don't give your power up to them. They are useful, but as servants, not masters. They take their own power way too seriously and that is too disempowering for mothers, I feel. Empower yourself, then find what you need.

I think its too complex to be too black and white about it- there is a lot more to homeschooling than academics. I know plenty of people who never intended to reach the academic levels I aimed for, yet their kids' gifts in various areas were nurtured. However, I don't really have a problem with sweeping generalisations either- thats just human. Many of us know families where it seems the kids are being hard done by- not given the support and nurturing academically, that they could be, even on a fairly basic level. But even though I have no problem with generalisations and concern, I think its also sensible to remain openminded- and give them some space for their way of living. If I am not living with them, I can't really know what is going on. Its IS too easy to judge- best to do it lightly. I know one family with 6 kids whose mother seemed to lurch from one crisis to the next for years- and often made jokes and looked for support, for not getting around to doing the academics with her kids. I was concerned. I talked about it with other mums- judged her. Yet years later- her kids are amazing. They are well behaved, polite (I had one stay over for a night and he was sooo nice to have over, helped around and did dishes without being asked etc), independent, the olders have part time jobs in interesting places, some are getting basketball scholarships to the U.S.- its a life. They are not living in the gutters somewhere! So they didn't get to academics for a couple of years- they are ok, and homeschooling still opened doors for them and gave them advantages. I think its human to judge and make generalisations- but also wise to not be too heavy about it, to leave a gap, to be willing to change one's mind, and/or see the positive things that are going on as well. And one or 2 years is not the whole childhood. Who knows- the kids may pick up in teenage years as they develop goals. Plenty- plenty- of kids at school do not do well, do not do their homework, and fall through the cracks. Many of them might be better off at home at least following their own passions. Why do we judge homeschoolers by a stricter standard than schooled kids?

And if you found out your son is already sexually active, what then? Are you ready for that possibility? Have you considered how you would respond beyond initially getting upset? For me it got to a point where I realised I could not control my children when they were not in my home and if they are determined, I cannot prevent them from their explorations, especially when their peers are all doing it. In my home, friends in bedrooms with open doors is ok but watched. We are a no alcohol home. Their friends' families have different rules and I do not try to control them. There is one family, a homeschooling family, where I no longer like my kids to go much because the parents hand out alcohol to the visiting teens, even knowing I don't want them to hand it out to mine- and i did say so. They did anyway. Their house, their rules, so I just make it a bit difficult. But dh and I recently realised we needed to work on more explicit education (STDs, birth control, drugs) and harm minimisation (around all those)- because the horse had long bolted. So the line of communication has changed and the kids can be more open rather than defensive, because they are accepted- even though we don't "approve"- really, our judgements don't matter- their safety does. It's the only way to get the important information in and to maintain a flow of authentic communication. By the way, we were in denial and it took a certain incident to wake us up out of it and change our approach.

I read an article about it and it made sense to me- psychologically, dealing with points is dealing with much smaller numbers and we as humans tend to prefer to be dealing with our 29 points rather than our 1200 calories or whatever it is. I can relate to that. Also, with WW you get the sense that you are doing it with a community even if you are just using the online version.

I never got over curriculum addiction in 7.5 years of homeschooling, but it did get better once i had tried a whole heap of things. But there was always something else. I think a huge motivation for me to keep trying new things was having a son who just plain struggled with everything- so I was always trying to find the perfect fit for him, and never could. Or it would work for a while and then not. Eventually I had to pull back for financial reasons- but then selling off a few things could always make the money to buy something new I wanted. I think it is fueled by insecurity, and a sense that the curriculum is doing the work for you. I am sure plenty of kids are independent, and the curriculum makes a huge difference, but for my son, he needed my help so much that I really don't think the curriculum mattered as much as I wanted it to. We just needed to keep going, consistently- which we did- but I changed curriculum too often, hoping it would make the big difference. I dont know the answer- I never found it- but my confidence in myself did grow over the years. I do remember seeing a quote by an ex homeschooling dad who was popular for a few years- who said that all this curriculum buying and experimenting is understandable and can be looked at from the perspective of our "teacher"training. Most of us arent school teachers. We are brand new at this stuff. We havent spent 3-5 years studying before being unleashed onto our kids- we are right in there boots and all learning on the fly. All the study, the obsessive research, and the curriculum buying, is part of our training, because we want to do such a good job and we dont want to stuff up our kids lives, yet we have so little experience- each year, at least with our oldest, we are starting fresh. I can relate to that and after reading that felt a little more gentle on myself.

I think one of the problems with weight loss is food obsession. When you cant have it, a piece of chocolate cake can be unbearably tempting. When you can have it- it's not such a big deal. Thats my experience, anyway. Also, real food like pop with sugar is at least real food and your body knows it. If you have "relaxed" about your diet, but are also somewhat conscious and careful with it, but not to the point of being obsessive and calorie counting or denying yourself your own special treats- I think it can be helpful because you don't then do the rebound, pendulum thing, where you deny yourself then indulge yourself in equal proportions. Just eat normally and have a healthy attitude to food, get some exercise. Enjoy food. I think the love hate thing with food is unhealthy- it is a sign of an unhealthy relationship to food.

The cloud stuff does sound pretty amazing. I do love technology. However, it does concern me that we are becoming too dependent on it. Knock out a few satellites and I think that could be the end of so called civilisation on earth. Everything would just fall apart in days and weeks.

I like to walk. Sometimes housecleaning helps too. I find housecleaning and walking help clear and process stuff. If I just want to escape, I like to bury myself in the computer to distract myself, or watch my current favourite TV series. (at present, House.) I find the backlash from eating tubs of icecream too painful to do too often:) I just feel so awful afterwards, it's not worth it. I also just like to escape to my bedroom, burn incense and oils, make it beautiful, put on candles, rearrange my meaningful objects, and just enjoy some sanctuary. I have a lovely room.

i just wanted to share this as I think the news is too often full of sad and bad news- even with a recession, the crime rate in the U.S. is at its lowest in 40 years and no one knows why. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/24/us/24crime.html?_r=1

I guess in reality, I take it in context- I find the people who are most likely to make racist jokes around me tend to be the people of that race themselves. That sort of humour in Australia is very common, whether its the Irish, the Scots, the Italians- Indigenous people have the funniest racist jokes, sometimes. I do think its important to take things in their context. I don't come across a lot of racism in my day to day life, though, other than, for example, fear and judgement of the drunk Indigenous people in town, which I do try to correct and put in context. I am having contact with Indigenous culture nowadays and the truth is, it is difficult in Australia for most people to see beyond the street poverty, alcoholism and violence of aboriginal people. And it is difficult for even those of us who want to contact the real, deeper culture, to do so. So I have been told by an aboriginal elder that now that I have had contact with the culture in a deeper way than most, that is is my responsibility to correct stereotypes and educate people when racism comes up. But his approach is very different from, for example, getting angry at racism and attacking racist people- it is a persistent and gentle communication of my experience and the facts. It is bringing it to their notice that they are being racist, and explaining the error of their judgments- but not blaming them. Often, people have had a bad experience, which colours their outlook, and they need to be shown a bigger picture.

Nope, but Balinese coffee is to die for.

Gold and silver wont physically feed people but when money notes are worthless, the thing that maintains it's value historically tends to be gold and silver. They are "real" and universally valued, wheras money notes are not, in fact- they are just promissory notes, especially in modern culture.They are no longer even based on anything real. Something "real" that is of value is still of value when paper money itself becomes worthless- to many people, anyway. And there are many grades of economic collapse. Who says it has to go all the way ? There could be a partial collapse, a limping along for a while- so many possibilities. I wouldn't discount the value of things that have been shown to hold their value over time. If all you have is to barter the food in your garden or some livestock, and you get a hurricane...what then.

I heard about it today from a Mac user- I asked why would you change- he raved on about stuff I didn't understand- but I will probably get it because it sounded cool and its only $29. :)

Lol, do you have one? :) I don't agree and they are even more expensive here. I mean, cheaper would be nicer, but they are not outrageous. You are paying for something that is soooo beautiful to use, clean and efficient, and....well, love my 27"Imac and i had to scrape and save and sell stuff to get it. I would love a MacbookPro too. Its not a decision I have regretted- definitely worth more than 2 PCs. Sorry, just had to say :)

I love palak paneer and often order it at INdian restaurants, and sometimes make it myself. Its a great, tasty way to eat spinach. Here is a recipe I just googled but there are plenty out there. I usually add tomatoes to mine. sanjeevkapoor.com/PALAK-PANEER.aspx I also love a tomato based curry with peas and paneer.

I would buy the Mac, absolutely. They jsut dont know what they are missing out on :) (and maybe wouldnt appreciate it yet either, but you will!).

Yes- I also have access to beautiful natural handmade products- which does remove the incentive, but as you say, not the curiosity.