I consider myself lucky- I wasnt abused as a child. I did have to deal with my mother's boyfriend's alcoholism in my teens, but I was a fiesty teenager and he never touched me- no way- and when he verbally abused me I gave it right back to him. It wasnt pleasant and I did leave home early to escape it- perhaps some would call it abuse, but I have never identified it like that. As an adult- yes, one long term boyfriend hit me quite a few times including stomach punches and a nose punch. He was classically schizophrenic but neither of us knew it then. I was madly in love with him and wouldn't leave him. Once he was diagnosed- and my present husband had rescued me from him- I went through a long, long process of healing from that whole relationship and still maintain a friendship with him, as does dh. He spent a long time in psych hospital and was very, very sorry. I am glad that there was a sort of completion and healing around it all. Dh was physcially hit daily by the priests at his boarding school. Daily, for many years. I was amazed recently how many people younger than me were hit at school- but it turns out they were all catholic. My parents did not send us to catholic schools and we were never hit.

I have YNAB and while i am not actually using it currently (or anything else), I have adopted the strategy of living off last month's income and that is really working well for me.

I was 28 for my last. I have enjoyed being a younger mum than most of my friends who had their kids in their 30s. I am 44. If life presented me with another opportunity I am open to it. I dreamt 2 nights ago that I was breastfeeding another baby and thinking how different it was to when I had my other 2. I was older, had different interests, was a really person in many ways. Its unlikely- dh is much older than me and never wanted another. But I have had an open mind about it and will probably continue to until it is no longer physically possible.

I have never flown first class. It always seemed sooooo much more expensive than economy I wondered why people would bother for a few hours. But then I see on movies it looks pretty cool, and I guess a crying baby would spoil the effect when you have paid all that money.

It IS annoying when kids argue, but I think it helps to see that they are trying to establish themselves as a separate identity. They no longer want to be told what to do when they really disagree with it. Read up about the logic stage of development- they are using their mind - at least, beginning to- to reason out the world around them and they will no longer just accept your word for anything. If you as an adult appear unreasonable, they will argue. Its a survival mechanism! I think your daughter was not unreasonable in that case and you might be creating a head to head conflict more often than you need to by not also respecting her take on things. I know I am not bringing up kids who would do well in the army. If you want blind obedience, my advice wont help. I want kids who can really think for themselves and will challenge an authority if they find it unreasonable. That includes me. They need to treat me with respect even if they disagree, but they are allowed to disagree and to stand up for what they believe.

Well, does it matter what we Australian's think? We don't call ourselves Oceanians! We are quite aware that someone in academia thought up the term Oceania to cover a geographical region that includes Australia. But we hardly use the term and would be pretty annoyed if anyone tried to use it on us because it became the politically correct term.

I say good on her, and who cares what other people think. It takes courage to do what you want to do, what feels right and a good path for yourself, against what is "normal". Going to college is just doing what everyone else is doing. It is the rat race. If one wants to work for someone else one's whole life, maybe a degree is necessary, but if one is independently minded, there are plenty of other ways to make one's way in the world. And why would the door to college be closed? She is 19. What a great idea, not going into adulthood with a massive debt.

Thats scary, Jean. I am aware of the gallbladder flush- there are gentler ways of doing that sort of thing- I would ask your doctor to take you a different route. Literally this morning my yoga teacher said to me "you should do the gallbladder flush, you are looking yellow" and we had a discussion about it. I said..I do not like it- it is too intense for my body. I am doing a liver cleanse instead, starting gently. I am sitting here eating salad and drinking carrot and celery juice (this, I can do, and even enjoy).

I reckon- thats a lot of recipes!

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

:grouphug: It sounds like you are still a bit traumatized from your childhood :grouphug: Maybe watching the show just put you back in touch with it. I doubt it's a good show for me to watch. I prefer to get rid of stuff but dh is a pack rat and I just get frustrated when I get into those spaces when I want to give 80% of our stuff away, and he goes through it all and insists it is precious, important and we can never get rid of it "just in case". However I have learned that getting rid of stuff doesnt necessarily get rid of the urge to get rid of stuff, IYKWIM, so I think it can be a bit of an obsession in the other extreme to hoarding, too. In my experience, anyway. I try and maintain balance.

I have and use an account- my name is Peela, amazingly. I am going to work out how to friend people now. But feel free to friend me. Oops, looks like I am shobbs67 there, so thats me.

Neither. I was not sophisticated enough for his mother and she told him as much. However, as the years have passed we have a lovely relationship. I think we grew on each other. My parents don't like dh much, but they tolerate him. We hardly see them- but part of that is that they don't get on so well with him, so they don't visit much. But...I have to say, thats not altogether their fault. He is not an easy person to get along with (they call me a saint frequently). Still, I love him, and I am no saint.

I would keep going with it and eventually you will get to the problem. Do you have roadside assistance care over there? Here we pay $150 a year and whenever a car breaks down we get free roadside assistance and towing- they can often find the problem too. We have never had a car loan- with a car each we just make it work if one car breaks down. The other thing is- you cant really sell a car knowing it could break down on the buyer at any time. Dh recently had a car to sell that was really giving him trouble. He wanted to get rid of it because it was a money pit. The first time someone came to look at it, he took it for a quick drive and it broke down around the corner. The roadside assistance people however found the problem that the mechanics had not been able to find- twice- water in the distributor- and then the car sold and the buyer was not getting a bad deal- a car that would break down randomly. But, you do whatever you have to do. We have never considered a car loan- but then, we have no problem with college loans, because we dont have to pay them back till we earn a certain amount of money.

I am an introvert surrounded by extrovert dh and both my kids. However...I never really thought anything was wrong with me- although sometimes I do envy their party personalities, their ease with people. I can be shy but not usually- I can relate to being a sitter, watching and listening at social events. It is not an invisible position, either- people often ask for my opinion or come and connect with me.

I don't think it is healthy to try and live up to technology for its own sake. And we know there is a nature deficit syndrome happening- kids are losing touch with nature because of overprotection as well as technology. Its a balancing act- how to make sure they have the basics as well as a grounded life with family, routines, in touch with real things, not disconnected from life through technology. Life is big and can accommodate a wide range of skills and people- I trust everyone has their place. The one thing I have seen with homeschoolers is that many find their way through unusual pathways, not necessarily the well trodden ones. I don't worry too much trying to make sure my kids have all the skills I think everyone else might have. I just help them find the direction they want to go and head them there as best I can. Its too easy to worry about such things, and it doesn't help. If they can navigate the internet, send emails, maybe do a Powerpoint presentation and a spread sheet, by the end of school, they are actually ahead of many adults nowadays. My kids can do far more than that without being directly taught. They are both proficient at PhotoShop and other programs. Give the kids access and generally, you don't need to teach them- you will find it hard to keep up. I didn't teach mine to use mobile phones or the TV remote- they taught me. They were born for this.

Coffee makes my joints ache and I don't even have fibro. Even my knuckles ache, and elbows. Its just too strong for some systems, including mine. It very acidic. I drink tea. I would use tea to wean myself off coffee.

I agree with all the suggested possibilities- stress, auto immune, thyroid....your doctor can run thyroid tests including and auto immune antibody test. Or find a doctor who will. But even if its thyroid and/or autoimmune, stress is probably triggering or exacerbating symptoms. Your body has self healing mechanisms but lack of sleep and stress interfere with them. When animals are sick, they withdraw, are quiet, sleep and fast. They don't keep going and going. Working full time and homeschooling teenagers? Do you have an end in sight or is this likely to go on for years? I don't know how I would do it. If your health is failing maybe it's a sign it really is too much.

My son LOVED Anne of Green Gables which I read aloud, and dd enjoyed Tom Sawyer. However I did assign different books frequently, according to both gender and interest- but not exclusively. My son in particular enjoyed more feminine stories for quite a while, however neither of my kids got to the point of enjoying things like Pride and Prejudice. As long as it wasn't interfering with their love of reading, I was happy to try a wide range of books on them- but if they really didn't like something, I would let them stop.

Fireflies is one of my memories from when my parents took me to Philadelphia to see my cousins when I was 7 years old. My brother and I were so mesmorised! Magic!

I adore them. Yes, they can be very annoying, but so can 2 year olds ( in a similar way, too!). I was warned when my kids were babies that I would have to let go of them while they became horrible teenagers who hated me. My kids don't hate me (most of the time). I do think homeschooling has helped our relationship immensely. I am very grateful for the years of being so much together, right into their teens. Now that they are not homeschooling, the effects are still there. But I can't say all their friends, un-homeschooled, have bad relationships with their parents either- from what I see many are doing ok. Its a difficult era to raise teenagers, I think. There are a lot of issues to deal with as they interface with our culture, especially the teenage culture here. It can be heart wrenching. But the love never stops and while there are absolutely no guarantees, keeping the communication flowing and hearts open and not being too extreme (laissez faire or authoritarian) goes a long way to having healthy teens and a good relationship with them.

We all enjoy our technology here so it hasn't been an issue. We all tend to have different areas of profiency. And we enjoy to learn more ( I learned how to back up my Mac this week- very cool). However, I don't like mobile phones much. I don't like people being able to contact me anytime, anywhere. I can see their usefulness, and with teenagers I am not giving mine up, but I might one day. Its something I think has too many downsides. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Some people are always going to be up on the latest technology in some areas, but it is developing so rapidly that there is no way everyone will be able to keep up in all areas. I think it is getting so that if a teenager doesn't have a mobile phone and computer access, they might feel disadvantaged, especially in the normal city culture- but they can always catch up later and while other kids are on Facebook, they might be doing something much more productive or interesting with that time.

I love that you would want to send her a card. It touches me. I have neglected friendships over the years and always appreciate being given another opportunity to connect, another chance, especially when its been a good friend. Isn't that a part of friendship? I haven't always been a good friend and I really appreciate it when other people are.

Yes, in that situation. We have the same connotation in Australia :)

This is my first year of not homeschooling for many years. I am 44. I am beginning to look at what I want to do now- my teenagers are busy and moving forward and I have time on my hands- things are opening up for me. I feel I have many, many good years ahead of me to move into the world and make a difference. Meanwhile, I am SOOOOOOO glad I took the time to homeschool my kids and be with them. There are no regrets! I think there is plenty of time after kids to use your degree. The problem with our culture is that it tells us women that we can have and do it all. Well, in a way we can, but not all at the same time! What are we trying to prove, who are we trying to impress? What you are doing is great- trust it. You know it.