My son got some fancy phone that was supposed to be better than an iphone- don't know its name. I think he wanted to be a bit different. Now he wants an iphone. Your poll might not be accurate if many more people have iphones than droids. I know many people with an iphone, none that I know with a droid.

I can really relate to the older women thing- I got a lot of attention when younger and when it dropped off over the years it was a loss I did feel. However...it is also a freedom to not attract that attention any more, actually. Its something to be embraced and other doors open up. As the baby boomers go through their 50s and 60s, a whole new attitude toward ageing is forming and these people can rock- many will tell you it is the happiest time in their lives. I think times are changing and no longer do people necessarily fade into the background when they hit 50 and become "old". For women anyway, its a time many are freed up from looking after children, and can move into the world and do things. I find in my mid forties now that I am happier with myself, my looks, and just who I am in general, that I ever was before. I am a good weight but am not immune to putting on a few pounds and feeling bad about myself but i haven't been in the OP's situation. I cant answer to the OPs situation, but it always heartens me to see a plump person who is happy and comfortable with themselves. I think it must be difficult- we have more overweight people than ever in our society yet the advertising promotes an unhealthy thinness- two extremes. I do think that even if it is a tendency, personality can overcome it to some extent. It shouldn't have to, of course.

Another one I read somewhere is to cook onions, even if you aren't ready to cook dinner yet. The smell of cooking onions makes a home feel very warm and nourishing (unless you don't like the smell, I guess). I have actually done that a few times just to see what it does to the atmosphere. Pretty much having anything cooking in the oven does the same thing. We have an outdoor spa- dh and I would connect by having a spa morning and evening.

\ A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large". Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows". The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asked, "And what are those"? The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?

Its not my experience that people are unfriendly, at all. Sometimes people are shy or reserved, but rarely unfriendly. If they are, I figure they are having a worse day than me and wish them well and move on. It's not personal. But- I don't mix in hard "work" worlds much, or in the public much. I have many friends and acquaintances and social groups, and everyone is friendly. If they aren't...well, I cut them slack and move on. I am generally friendly but am sometimes withdrawn so I am pretty empathic if people are just withdrawn.

Well, you could say the same thing about marriage- for 50% of the population. I can't see how that is a good reason not to get closer to someone.

I am not much help- it was a struggle with my resistant ds for years. Eventually, I realised I didn't have it in me to keep doing it with him, and I put him in school. I was burned out. I have taken the first half of this year to recover. I think it can be very hard to admit if it is time for them to go to school for whatever reason- I certainly felt like a failure when I first considered it. Dh was even worse- he just wouldn't consider it. Homeschooling is such a strong sub culture and we tend to feel strongly about it to do it at all. But once I looked at the bright side and really considered it, I decided that it was the right thing- and I felt relieved once I made the decision. I haven't regretted it. But...only you know. If taking more time for yourself works...that's great. I lived and breathed homeschooling so much of the time. It was quite a hole when I stopped. But now I enjoy when the kids come home.

:iagree: I think I would manage the hygiene issues primarily with a menstrual cup (you empty it and put it back in- nothing disposable), and then some sort of back up for night time.

I did it for a year- my oldest was 12, this kid was 12. I figured I could teach them together. It was ok for a while. Upside- it gave my kids someone else to play with. I got a bit of money. I enjoyed feeling I was helping another child. Downside- this kid wasn't very open. He was damaged, distant, jaded. He worked ok for me, but he didn't warm to me- he stayed emotionally distant. He would undermine me a little with my kids. Another aspect- I was used to reading to my kids before bed- and I considered it part of our curriculum (although I didn't tell the kids that!). It did annoy me that this kids mother didn't encourage reading, and that I had to read all our "school" books in school time. The straw that broke the camel's back was that I had finally got this kid to read Treasure Island during our school time- he had never read so much before, and he was actually enjoying it. Then holidays came- he had 2 chapters left to read and I asked him to read them over the holidays. He didn't. I had talked to his mum about it, presuming her cooperation. When I brought it up again, she told me she thought I was being unreasonable. I think what happened is that she tried to get him to read it, he fought with her because that was their pattern, so she made me the enemy. It was not something that was too hard for him. That did it for me. I didn't take him back the next term because without complete cooperation from the parent I couldn't do it. She really didnt understand and was shocked. Lots of people tried to explain to her that she was being ridiculous but she refused to back down. She was a single mum but a trained psychologist- not poor, not underprivileged. I felt relieved when he left. THere is something about the dynamic of working just with my own kids that I preferred, but it might have just been this situation and a kid who was passive aggressive and we never really clicked together emotionally. One thing that it does is that it locks you into a dynamic with another family. If that family is dysfunctional in a way that will disturb your family, it is difficult to not let that impact because you experience it everyday. It is combining 2 family systems, in a way. It may jsut be me, but I didn't find that easy.

There are many, many threads on this issue on these boards and it can be a very controversial issue. I personally allowed my kids to date as soon as they wanted to, which was around 13. I don't regret my decision or allowing my kids to be in relationships as it happened naturally as they wanted through their teens. I have provided supervision, boundaries, but not ever outright denial. I have kept the communication going and have felt it more important to stay open and listen and to allow them to date as they see fit, and to stay fairly neutral and non judgemental about it- so that they have felt no need to be secretive, and will stay in ongoing dialogue with me.

My MIL is very different to me, and probably a very difficult person to live with in many ways. My dh has little to do with her, although she lives nearby and he is not upset with her. I think its a little sad, but he had a very traumatic childhood and even though he says he has, I don't think he has forgiven her. But..a while back I realised that over the years she has done so much for me. She has always been kind. I think we have had one fight in 20 years. She has not been a big part of my life, or our kids' lives. SHe has an adult severely autistic daughter at home who takes all her energy, so she has never had much energy for her later grandkids. But....I appreciate her, and she does try to give what she can.

Once someone is in a relationship, they generally come as a package. It is natural you might feel some resistance and take time to warm to him, but if you care for your MIL, I would do it for her sake. You thinking he doesn't need to be involved in everything she does, I think shows you have forgotten what it is like to be in love. It is a stage, and it does change everything. Love and bonding are very, very powerful forces and not to be reckoned with. Chances are, everything will change and wont ever be the same again. But you can still love your MIL and have a good relationship with her, by the sounds of it. You just have to change your expectations. Then maybe that is a more honest way of approaching it rather than finding fault with him, her, or the situation. Just say you miss her, or you would like to spend some time with just her. Maybe you need to grieve some more for the sense of family that used to be, and is now changed.

No, I don't ultimately think it is your business at all. As Rosie says, she is in love. It's not strange at all. I am sure she realises you all might be a bit upset with her- and she is very wisely getting on with her own life, following her heart, instead of worrying what other people think of her. Sure, look out for her best interests, but don't mix that up with your own judgements- there is no rule about how long one should wait after death of spouse before dating, or before moving a partner in. I have an aunt who did something similar after my uncle died. She was nuts. She still is nuts. I don't like the guy at all- no one does, but she does! I haven't had much to do with them. But I stand by her right to do what she wants with the rest of her life, with whoever she wants. I don't think its anyone's business to tell someone what to do in such circumstances. I would truly wish her well and put your own feelings aside about how she "should" behave, and let her be herself. If she is not a threat to your grandkids...let them be with her, IMO. It's not your business to tell her to be a "grandmother" rather than a "girlfriend." To me that is way stepping over a boundary- and she even had the courtesy to ask you if you minded if he was there.

:chillpill::chillpill::chillpill:

:lol: I am not into patriotism myself. I love Australia as an ancient, beautiful land and some aspects of our culture, and I deeply appreciate living here, particularly at this time in history, but we are not any more special than anyone else on the planet. We are lucky, and most of us know it, but we are not special. I always thought patriotism was a bit strange and a very American thing (kind of part of the U.S. centric worldview). The rest of the world isn't so big on it generally which doesn't mean we don't love our countries...its just not such a big deal as it seems to be in America. If it creates happiness, connectedness, appreciation of our differences and uniqueness- great. If it creates a sense of being special, better than others, and divisiveness because of that- I don't see it as a good thing. I really think its time people thought in a bigger way that just their own countries. Everyone on the planet is of value. I think patriotism has lead to too much thinking that its ok to kill other people in other countries because they are somehow not as worthy as us. A distancing and disconnectedness from "others" just because they are not in our country.

With kids your kids' ages? I think I would watch a movie, have a nap, do some shopping and enjoy a cafe alone or catch up with a girlfriend :) Most of the things I did as teacher development were more long term, such as reading classics or studying grammar or Latin- they weren't things I could accomplish much of in one day. They needed more regular daily application. I guess you could take some of the texts you are going to use and spend the time reading ahead in them to see what is coming up. Or read something you haven't had time to read. I would make sure its enjoyable though.

This year- kids were 15 and 16- we have that issue. I stopped being the bedtime police and I just go to bed when I am ready. They are almost always still up. I usually encourage them to make sure they get enough sleep, go to bed soon- but I don't enforce it any more. The teenage years are quite a ride for these kinds of issues. At 14 and 15 I was still pretty strict about bedtimes but we were still homeschooling then. Now that we are not, I felt to let the issue go and let them find out the hard way what it is like to not get enough sleep. Ds gets himself to bed reasonably- dd is not so good at it and ends up very tired by weekends. The TV issue wouldn't bother me.

I think that is one of those common homeschooling sayings that can be true but I think it is too much of a generalisation. Some kids, especially boys, are rebelling against mum particularly and respond better to the structure of school that has non negotiable boundaries and even some male teachers. The specific dynamic between mother and child can be an issue that can be helped greatly, at times, by putting a child in a different environment for some of the day. Many people here have put one child in school for that reason. I am not saying its the answer for the OP- and i am very glad for her that her husband has come around because she feels it is right to homeschool right now- it's just that a lot of people here agree with the above statement but it hasn't been my experience after a point. I would say my teenage son is responding well to the rigours and discipline of school, and his teachers enjoy him (he is not a behavioural issue there), and yet he was not well behaved for me- he was always resisting. It might be that those of us who are a bit softer, less strict, those of us who try to negotiate with our kids a lot, cannot provide the structure sometimes necessary with some kids, at a certain point. Many teenage kids, especially boys, seem to do quite well in a strict environment. I feel some of them need to get away from mum, too. I intended to homeschool all the way through, but I am glad I was open to what seemed best- my son was 15 though, not 12. I think each situation is unique and should be considered individually.

I remember my granma reading Winnie the Pooh to me. Once I could read they stopped reading to me.

I think it depends on your sub culture and where you live. It seems to be that the U.S. has a very strong Christian and especially fundamentalist Christian emphasis, and those people probably aren't exposed to much Buddhism. In country Australia people probably arent exposed much either- but in the cities I think it is more common. I have been around Buddhism my whole adult life but i live in a very alternative subculture- not specifically Buddhist, but definitely alternate to mainstream and inclusive of Buddhism. Most of my friends are very familiar with Buddhism (and went to see the Dalai Lama yesterday, who was here.) I also find that Buddhism has infiltrated mainstream society to a huge extent- although that doesn't mean the average person knows a lot- but they at least feel familiar. We have a neighbour who has a huge statue of a buddha head in his front yard and he is not Buddhist at all- he is a gambler and he believes Buddhas bring good luck! But it is kind of cool to live behind it- we have several buddha statues in our home. I notice Buddha statues everywhere in shops nowadays. Doesnt mean people are familiar with the teachings, I guess, but it is the fastest growing religion in Australia, according the census result.

I would do it. He will appreciate it in his teenager years. My son has our "den" as his bedroom. It is not a basement but it is a dark room with coloured opaque windows and a door to outside. His teenager friends think its the coolest room ever. It is big.

I tihnk it depends on....if you are immediately trying for a new baby....and how easily you can come by baby clothes. Where i live, 2nd hand baby clothes are not hard to come by, and are inexpenseive, so I would be letting them go apart from a few selected pieces my mother and grandmother knitted, for example. But I am not much of a hoarder. Maybe you need to let go of the old (baby clothes) to let a new (baby) into your life? Because Murphy's Law will have it that you will get pregnant as soon as you let go of the old clothes :)

IMac. Love it. I want both though.

I would lie rather than submit my child to something I felt was not in their best interest- if it was important to me. And if I didn't feel like fighting for it at the time. I have my own religion- the religion of my own beliefs. It's weird- my son has been at school for 6 months now and although I was required by law to provide vaccination records- and I was asked twice- I simply "forgot" and sent him to school and nothing has been made of it at all (he is actually vaccinated- I just don't want to chase the records). Then I realised I knew the school nurse so I asked her about it and she is not pro vaccination herself so never chases parents about it even though it is part of her job. People find their own way with it.

They generally know, and aren't interested in the details.