Not much. Dh usually buys me some "weeds", as 16yod calls them, at Kroger on his way home from work. He also likes to buy some kind of a gushy card which I never know how to respond to. If I get into town and actually remember the day is approaching, I buy him a card. We're in town and Val's Day is tomorrow ... he's in luck this year!!! I think I'll try to find him a present, too. He'll really think he hit the jackpot if I can find an actual gift. 16yod also suggested we buy him some "real flowers" on the way home today. Guess we will. Oh, and dh sometimes buys something chocolate for dc. Even at their ages!! lol Can you tell he's the 'touchy-feely' one in the family? ;)

Naw ... you're never "stuck". You may feel like you are, but you actually have the ability to quit any time you feel like it. I know, because I did it. When our 5 hs'ed dc were 14 and under, we were doing several different sports for each of our ds's. Then, oldest dd began a couple of sports, too. Then came more and more travel along with skyrocketing expense with all the older dc's sports .... it just never seemed to end. And none of us even had any health problems on top of all the outside things. But one day I just decided that the school-we-weren't-getting-to was far more important than the other stuff. So dh and I sat down and called coaches and quit all of it. Mid-season, no less. NO one was happy about it, true, but I've never regretted it. And 25yos once said to dh that we should have taken him out of all the sports much earlier than we actually did. Also, some things you may want to consider now, before you get in too deep with the outside stuff (esp. sports), are: Time - it rarely ever decreases, but always seems to increase. This wouldn't be so disturbing except that their school also takes longer as they get older. Money - this also always seems to increase as they get more involved in anything. Look ahead. How much are you willing to spend so your dc can do this or that thing down the road ... and don't forget the travel, consuming time and money. Socialization - never seems to work out quite like it's supposed to. Our dc always seemed to pick up the worst habits from the other kids vs the best. And I wasted so much time trying to undo that kind of thing ... time better spent on things like school or hobbies they could do at home. Or better yet, grounding them in Biblical principles in preparation for the teen years! Anyway, if you can find it within yourself to blurt out that all-important word NO, you won't regret it. And, believe it or not, they will eventually find things to do on their own, if given the chance. Things that will stay with them for life, like playing an instrument or art-type things or sewing or cooking or raising animals or writing for fun or ... the possibilities are endless. But they will probably never get around to it if they never have the time. FWIW

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My 16yod is also an excellent reader. However, when she's stumped on a word problem and she or I begin to read the problem aloud, she invariably says things like, "Oh! It said ( ) ... not ( )!" and other such things. It almost seems that she's reading way too fast and reading it aloud forces her to slow down and think about what the problem is asking her to do. Reading fast works in almost every other subject, but not so great in math (for her). Another technique it to draw it, like Jane said. She does this on a small white board. I sometimes have to force her to do this because she wants to go fast (again) and it forces her to slow down (again) and 'plan' more. So she doesn't like it. But it definitely helps. Another thing that helps is to put it off until the next day. If I see she's reaching her maximum frustration level, I sometimes say, "We'll work on that one some more tomorrow". And, without fail, when she picks it up again the next day, she can solve it. Almost as if her subconscious had continued working on it without her knowing it.:001_smile: Sometimes, it also helps to let her discuss it with her brothers and sisters (whoever happens to be around). They seem to be able to give her clues that help her instantly. HTH.

Our dc make and follow their own schedules. I tell them the group things that must be included and they get together and decide those times and let me know where I have to be when. I recently pared this down quite a bit. We'll see how it goes. They also know which books they have to get through for each subject. And the below is only for Monday - Thursday. Friday's are flexible days - library (where ds and I are at now), longer assignments, hobbies, or whatever. Most of them have a few subjects on Saturdays. Sundays, dh does Calculus and Physics with ds's. Dh also plays bridge with dd's on Sunday. And many chores are being done all day long by dc. 4:30 - 7:30am = dh leaves sometime in there; rest of us up and do teeth/hair/faces/Bible individually; I feed dogs; vacuuming person feeds cats; dd's let chickens out of coop and feed/water them; person with kitchen wipes off table as we all straggle in for Greek 7:30 - 8 = Greek 8 - 10 = 16yod and 20yod at table with me for some math; rest do whatever's on their schedules 10 = all listen to J. Vernon McGee on radio 10:30 = dc all doing own school, individually 12:30 = tape (1/2 of a sermon by John MacArthur) 1pm = sing hymn and all at table to read Hermeneutics book 1:30 = all - logic 2:00 = all - math around 2:30 or later = all off doing individual school or whatever they have scheduled; I usually take dog walking and sometimes dc come, too. Dc set own bedtimes and those vary.

Nope. I've never been a 'baby person'. It always took me a few months to get used to having a new baby around. I seemed to have to get to know them before the mothering instinct really kicked in. And I always wished I could have waited to name them until they were a whole lot older than 2 days! I would have liked to have seen what kind of personality they had and chosen a name to match. And I still don't like other peoples' babies so much. Only my own. And I hated babysitting when I was a teen. But the strange thing about that was that the kids always begged the parents to call me when they needed a sitter.:confused:

Well, I have a teensy bit more time to think, so I'll attempt a more in-depth answer, FWIW. The truth is I don't try to second guess my dc anymore. If they want to go to college, fine. We'll find a way. If not, fine. We'll do something else. It's not about my expectations. It's about what they want to do. When my oldest son was a teen, I fully 'expected' him to go to college. Only he was an extremely mechanical kid. He was going to do something mechanical (I'm talking cars, motorcycles, etc.) no matter what my 'expectations' were. His talents were that strong. Currently, he and his wife have no kids, but they DO have a basement and a 2-car garage FULL of tools of every kind, motorcycles, guns, etc. If it's a tool or tool-related, he's got it. I think by insisting on the college 'dream', I totally ignored his real talents, which totally confused him and made him feel like a failure on some level, even to this day. So, yes, I educate using WTM which is stated to be college prep. But, no, I'm not 'expecting' them to go to college. I'm only 'expecting' them to do their best at whatever they ultimately decide to do. Which, btw, will probably amount to many different careers in their lifetimes if the current economy continues the way it is. Our take.

Hmmmm ..... what are the odds you'd get a slew of posts declaring the dc are headed for college (like it or not, even!), and extolling the values of the experiences that can only be acquired by attending college, if you post that question on a board like the WTM ..... :toetap05: (me thinking) .... why, :ohmy:, it must be around 100%!!! Imagine that! Just kidding. I coudn't resist. Seriously, though, we don't know what our dc are going to be when they grow up. :001_smile: (I couldn't resist that one either.)

Thanks, Mary. He's sitting across from me at the library here and I showed him your post. Thanks again.:)

:iagree:I was thinking something along the same lines as Chris here. Only the first thing that popped into my head was for you to stop talking. It's hard to explain what I mean by that. But imagine you're upset about something and things keep piling up and up and up (like Chris said), and everyone around you is talking, talking, talking at you ... to you ... about you (and your 'problems'). What would help you the most?? Quiet. Absolutely perfect quiet. The kind of quiet where you can actually hear the thoughts going through your head. Maybe he just needs some of that kind of quiet. Praying for your son and your family.

I bought two Gateway Ones last yr. Spent bouceaux (sp.)bucks. Nice, pretty , and easy..... We've been having similar problems with Gateway. They finally sent an actual person out to our home to try to fix our computer. He had to order parts, etc., etc. Then, when dh took the computer to him to let him replace the parts, dh wound up having to help the computer guy figure out which parts to put where!!! :001_huh:(And the guy said he'd been repairing computers for about 30 years!) I told dh to send both computers back and let's go find a company that's not falling apart and buy one that actually works. But he's determined they're going to fix this mess ... :glare: Good luck.

And if so, how would you go about getting it? Our 24yos is sending a play he's written to our local theatre. They solicited via the local newspapers for scripts ... (I assume this means they're desperate??) Anyway, he's unsure whether he needs a copywrite and I sure don't have a clue. They said they would keep eveything in their 'library' (ie you won't get it back if they don't use it). They said to let them know something about "royalties", etc. Well, I know what royalties are and all. But that's about all I know. Any help would be appreciated greatly. Dh will be checking the board for me tomorrow, assuming it doesn't snow and he can get to work.

Yep, that's the way it works here, too. Our 25yos discovered several years ago that he couldn't read something in cursive (forgot exactly what, but it was important), and decided to learn it. Now, he writes almost exclusively in cursive. Says it helps him remember it better. So I know it's possible to learn it as an adult. It just never occurred to me that they'd have to read cursive one day. :blink: So I never pushed it. Then, all of them had to go back and at least learn how to read the cursive, even if they always used print. In hindsight, I would have been more diligent in teaching cursive. FWIW.

I agree with others that the TV is the fastest and most painless, so I'd solve that instantly. Before tackling the possessions, however, you may want to step back and take an objective look at the actual quantitiy of 'things' you're asking her to take responsibility for, and see whether she just has too much for a child her age to keep track of. It might be easier to start her with just a few possessions vs a whole roomful, no matter what teaching method you decide on later. You could store some away until she consistently demonstrates that she's able/willing to keep up with a few - then, if she even misses the stored items, return them a few at a time. Just an idea. HTH

I used it for a little while when our dd's were younger. I loved it. They loved watching Mr. Pudewa (sp?). They learned a good bit. But we never finished it. Mostly because they can't stand sitting in front of videos. (I can't remember whether you can skip this or not. Maybe someone else here knows.) And I can't either. So we donated it to the library and went back to a variety of other things. IEW and Intro. Logic were the only two video programs we ever tried. They all finished Intro. Logic without the videos, however. Also, the program did seem awfully expensive, to me. I suppose that's because of the video component. HTH

We've been doing WTM since the first edition came out. No prepackaged curr, but definitely tweaking here and there. We do a totally different math. We've added more logic than the book has. Added in Bible study. And so on. WTM has worked beautifully for our family. I'm not sure about this because I don't read other hs boards, but I think that the reason you see so many other curr users here on this board is that the ladies here are just so darned helpful. Seriously. This is a great place to get ideas and solutions for any hs question you can come up with. Or any non-hs question you can come up with, too. ;)

I'm not. I'm at the library with dh, wasting time on the net.;) But some of our dc have a little school scheduled into their Saturdays. Weekends are very flexible for all of us here. Hope you trip goes well.

If you check the used book sites on the web, you can find tons of cheap John McDougall's books. Most of the books have a mini-cookbook in the back. Also, Mary McDougall (his wife) has written quite a few cookbooks which you can buy dirt cheap on the net ($1 each ...). The recipes are quick and simple, without dairy or meat or added oils. Also, you can get quite a few recipes off his website. (drmcdougall.com) HTH

Wow. I thought we were the only ones waiting a loooong time before putting dc behind the wheel. Guess we're truly not alone on this one. We're in VA and we don't do driver's ed. So all our dc get their learner's permits on their 19th birthdays to bypass that. And since car insurance would break the bank here, they keep them. 25yos went to 'renew' his permit on his birthday and the poor DMV people were so befuddled that the woman spent about 20 minutes on the phone talking to her boss trying to figure out how to go about it! lol Only 1 dd has even shown a huge interest in driving. 20yod drives us just about everywhere we go, unless dh is with us or it's a hectic, dangerous area. But I have to be alert and ready to grab the wheel. She was heading for a concrete bridge rail once, until I yelled something. Said, later, she was falling asleep. I tend to do this when driving, so she gets it honestly, but I can't imagine turning her loose with a driver's license. Bad as that was, however, she's very cautious when she drives, unlike ds's. They tend to stomp on the gas. Not a good idea on curvy roads in a 3-ton Suburban surrounded by 18-wheelers and cars going 70mph. They seem to want to bypass the 'learning' stage and go straight to the 'experienced, let's drive at 70mph' stage. Each of them has almost lost control of the car driving like this. I have to constantly rein them in when they drive. (Did I mention all our dc also lose their medical insurance when they turn 19 unless they're in college or we shell out a small fortune?? They're all extremely healthy, fortunately.) Also, our long driveway dumps right out onto a narrow, hilly, blind, 2-lane highway used by tons of 18-wheelers. And you have to make a left turn to get out there. Rather harrowing. I didn't get my license until I was almost 18. And I was scared to death to drive on my own. ( Driving a car is nothing like driving a motorcycle, btw.) And we lived in a tiny town where the fastest you could go was 45mph on one road outside of town! I felt safer on a motorcycle. I guess, for us, the biggest motivation for their learning to drive is dh's driving. I want them all to learn fairly soon because I can hardly stand dh's driving as he gets older. That's one of the reasons we don't take long trips so much anymore. He's a tailgater who drives fast ... only without the relexes of a man in his 20's. We won't even discuss the whole driving and coffee drinking thing. So I know they are all going to learn to drive eventually. Oh, I wanted to add a couple of things that I think have helped decrease the danger a little. First, I start them out driving up and down our long, hilly, gravel driveway (couple of miles, one way) as soon as they want to. 15yod has been doing this for a couple of years. Same with 18yod. They also can drive anywhere on our property, alone. This helps them learn how the car itself works so they're not trying to do things like remember how to turn the wipers on whilst barrelling down the highway at 50mph. Second, we found some magnetic "Student Driver" signs on the net. They're big with red letters and we put one on each side and one on the back. It definitely keeps the other drivers from tailgating. But we do get a lot of rubberneckers trying to get a look at the 'student'. lol Just remember to take them off when you park so they won't get stolen. Anyway, our time is up in the motel, so it's time to pack up and go home. Dc said the water finally thawed. HTH.

I don't have their lists with me because we're at a motel as our power went out and the pipes froze ... but I can tell you how I went about getting our lists. First, I wrote down every single little thing dh and I did around the house, property, cars, etc. Then, I let this list sit for a few weeks while I constantly added things to it that I had forgotten or never even noticed because they had become second nature to me. Once I felt like the lists were mostly complete, I presented them to dc as a group, informing them that they would now be doing all of these things. I also told them I would be helping them learn how to do things they didn't know how to do. They then took the lists and divided them up into 5 general areas (for 5 dc) and posted them on the frig with their names on magnets. They decided they would rotate lists weekly. Switching so often shortened the learning phase - worked well. Next, they, and I, worked all the bugs out and altered the lists over several months until they had the chores running fairly smoothly - not perfectly. We still alter things now and then. And they've been doing this for a few years, which means our 15yod was 12 or 13 when she began. And just-turned 18yod was 15 or 16. And they've done just as well or better than her much older brothers. Finally, after they had the actual processes down, I called them together to discuss the way in which they went about doing the chores. (ie their attitudes) This was a revealing discussion. Some of them didn't understand why minimum wasn't sufficient and why they should strive to do the best possible for them. So we delved into various Biblical principles and talked about how attitudes towards menial chores often carry over into attitudes towards jobs, etc., and that, in the end, all that really matters is the attitude they had and whether they did the best they were capable of doing at the time. Anyway, I think the reason this worked so well is because the lists were very specific to our family. Unlike lists you find in books and such. I used to try to use some of those lists when our dc were younger and always wound up frustrated. I think it's because you really have to tailor your list to your particular family, and you may even need to write out every little step for some chores in the very beginning to make sure they do it correctly and to minimize your teaching time. Also, this did not go as smoothly as it looks on your screen. They were a little stunned. Some were annoyed and objected, saying they had too much school to do. I didn't fall for that excuse, however, because I remember going to college full time, doing all the housework, raising oldest ds, and even pregnant my senior year. I also worked in the hospital micro lab for part of that senior year. (dh was in graduate school) They got no sympathy from me on that one. But be prepared for that particuar complaint. Try to look at it this way. What kinds of things will they suddenly have thrust on them if/when they go off to college? Wouldn't it be better for them to learn at least that much now vs when they're overwhelmed by the move itself and the sheer volume of bookwork expected of them in college? Think how much more time they'll have for studying vs learning to cook and do laundry and such. Anyway, if you'd like to see our lists, let me know and I can post them the next time we come down to town. HTH. PS - It works better if you approach them when you're calm and think of it as an extension of your hs'ing them; versus, say, angry and frustrated like I was. ;)

We lived in Manassas back in the late '80's. It was crowded then, but when we moved back to VA in 1998 (near Roanoke) and drove up to Manassas to see if we could find our old house ... we had to ask for directions, everything had gotten so much more packed and rearranged! I never cared for the Northern VA area then, but it looks intolerable to me now. We still drive up to see the sights in DC once in a blue moon though ... unless I can talk them out of it. ;) (I'm not much of a city person.) We also drive up to Baltimore to see 34yos and dil every now and then. That area is even worse. The area we're in now is more 'hillbilly' (I can say that because dh is a hillbilly ... he fits in well here ... I'm still learning. :)) Roanoke is an old railroad town, it seems. The first time I saw it after having lived in NH for 4 years, I almost cried, it looked so ugly (and I don't cry easy!). But once you get outside the city part it's beautiful (if you like mountains). We're about 30 miles north, in the woods. Has anyone mentioned the gnats? Do you know what gnats are? In NH they call them black flies. In this part of VA, they're gnats. If you live out in the woods like we do, gnat season is from around April to about October. They get in your eyes, nose, ears, etc. Annoying, and the only way to avoid them is to keep moving - or Cutter - or make yourself a gnat fan out of wild turkey feathers crammed into the end of a hollow stick, like I did, and fan your face constantly. Not so many mosquitoes though. Not where we are, anyway. And never anything like we had in NH. A screened in porch would be a top priority for me if we were house hunting now, knowing what I know now. Not a deck. Not a porch. But a fully screened in porch connected to my house. Worth it's weight in gold, IMHO, if you're in the woods. Weather-wise, it's mild. Gets down into the single digits only a handful of days every year. Last night it got down to -5 degrees F and power lines snapped or something. Thus, no power, which led to frozen pipes, which led to no water, which let to our driving down to town tonight to rent a motel room (where I'm at now) so we could all take showers and then go out to eat. Inspect your house carefully before you buy. Speaking of that, there must not be any septic laws in this area - or they never get around to enforcing them. When we had to have our septic pumped a few years after moving in, we uncovered a huge, round piece of a concrete drainage pipe dropped into the ground and covered with plywood with a hole cut in the plywood to pump the contraption. A true hillbilly septic if ever I saw one. ;) Bad as the septic thing was, though, the worst part has been the sheer volume of garbage that people have dumped on the land over the years. Best we can figure, they took their garbage and dumped it on the boundaries between their own property and their neighbor's property, generally as far away from their own house as they could get, but never worrying too much whether it 'accidentally' sloshed across to the adjoining lands. Not that they weren't prone to dumping it right in their own backyards, of course. We've been hauling both kinds to the dump for over 10 years now. And no this is not just the land we bought. You can go driving in the country and see much worse and much better -- all scattered randomly across this part of VA. My younger brother summed it up for me one day when I was complaining to him about all of it. He retired from the Air Force and has been city manager of a couple of small towns in SC. He said people move to the country because they think they can get away with things there that they can't get away with in the city. He also said that property lines along some of those coastal areas in SC are nearly impossible to trace. The original owners die and relatives move in and this goes on for generations with no legal documentation at all. Which brings me to the next thing to watch out for if you're buying land. Property lines. Make sure you really own the property you think you do. Just because a seller presents you with a survey and says he owns the land doesn't mean he really owns it. After you move in, your neighbor could show up at your house one day and present you with his survey claiming he owns some of the land you thought you owned. Bet you can't guess how I came across that juicy little tidbit... :glare:. Well, I could write volumes more, but it's getting late. So I'll wrap it up by saying that even with all it's flaws (and I've just scratched the surface here), VA is not a bad place to live. Mild climate (speaking as someone raised in SC and LA); the people still have a sense of humor (unlike NH); and fairly cheap if you don't mind putting in a little work on the front end. It's like dh said when I asked him where he thought we'd retire to. "To the camper out in the yard and turn the house over to the kids." Welllll ... I might have to have a little underpinning with that, if you please. ;)

Yes, year-round works in high school, too. One thing we do that helps with the more intense work is to do the usual subjects and group work on Monday through Thursday. Then, dc use Fridays to work on those longer papers or anything else that lends itself to longer, uninterrupted blocks of time. The only planned thing for us on Fridays is our tape from 12:30 to 1pm (= 1/2 of a sermon). This way they can even extend what they are doing into the weekend if they get realy absorbed in it. Others can offer more about the outside classes. We've never done any of those. HTH

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We've always done year-round hs'ing. Just seemed more natural for us. I can't think of any cons, offhand, so here are a few pros: Take time off whenever you want or need. Nice weather, off-season rates, birthdays, holidays, burned out, dh on vacation, new pets in the house, 50 chicks arrived in the mail, paint the house, neighbors want help, hunters trespassing and blasting away on your land and have to go chase them down, .... etc. Avoid the current illnesses - can go places when most kids are in school to avoid being coughed and sneezed on. If you're in a neighborhood with hoards of bored, unsupervised kids all wanting to play at your house ... "Sorry, ds is doing school" works great for controlling that. It also kept our own dc from getting bored. Less pressure to 'finish' - a book, a curr., anything, and you can cram more books in. ;) Dc don't forget everything they've learned because they use it constantly. As dc have gotten older, they've learned to manage their own time. For example, 18yod takes time off to work on her gazillion hobbies, here and there. 20yod takes time off in the spring to garden (as do other dc). It helps them learn how to budget their time - all their time - not just x number of months out of the year. HTH