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Haven't read other posts, so apologize for repetition. Generally, for our dc, I found that if they're kept busy with meaningful work and challenged intellectually in their schoolwork, they don't have time to misbehave. In other words, I tried to put the emphasis on the 'training' vs the 'correcting'. Whenever I slacked off in the 'training' area, I would find myself having to spend more time in the 'correcting' area. So I would get busy trying to up the training such that the correcting area would decrease. Make sense?? Imagine a balance scale. When one side goes up, the other goes down. And vice versa. For the Biblical training, talk, talk, discuss, discuss, talk, talk, and talk some more. I actually learned this from a wonderful Jewish guy (NOT from my own parents OR from any church I ever went to) who worked with my dh in NH. Having noticed over the years how close many Jewish families seemed to be (long term, esp), I was standing in line behind this guy at some event for dh's work one evening, and we started talking and the opportunity came up for me to quiz him. So I did. (His wife wasn't there, or I would have tried to talk to her.) He very graciously described (in a matter of minutes) how they spent hours and hours discussing everything under the sun with their dc. He went on to say other things, but that was the gist of it. So that's what I did. Since talking isn't one of my favorite things to do, I forced myself to talk and listen and point out things and discuss and ... well, you get the idea. But back of it all, was always the Bible. That's the standard. Plumb-line, if you will. We always measure and evaluate everything by the Bible. This turns into many, long discussions as they get older. Be prepared. :) Another thing I think that helps is to be on the lookout for those negative outside influences. People, media stuff, whatever. Sometimes, when I saw puzzling behaviors in our dc which I couldn't explain, I could often trace it back to some kind of outside thing. Once I took care of that, then I focused on getting rid of the lousy habits the dc had picked up from it. Anyway, it's about time to go, so I'll end here. HTH

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We don't do credits but I can offer a few suggestions which may help her to learn to enjoy listening/playing music more. One of the things that has helped us the most (myself included) is to listen to NPR (or a better classical station if you can find it ... TheClassicalStation.org is fantastic!!). I stumbled onto this one day as I was standing in the kitchen and our youngest dd happened to be nearby. They were playing Beethoven on NPR and I asked her if she knew who composed the piece. She didn't, so I began describing to her how I knew who it was. She was hooked. I kept doing this (in the car, at home, everywhere) and began including all dc. It got to be a game and when we were all in the car on the 45 min. drive to town, they would make guesses about the composer of a piece, and then we'd all listen with excitement to see who 'won'. After a while, when they were all familiar with many composers (good and bad), I printed off a composers timeline from somewhere on the net. I gave them each one to keep at their school tables. They were very excited as they discussed the composers and associated them with their respective time periods. Also, if you suspect she really might enjoy piano, but is discouraged for some other reason, you might try taking her to various stores where she can see a variety of music (and instruments) and let her choose whatever she wants to play ... just for fun. Our dc found things at our local Barnes & Noble store and various instrument supply stores. Used bookstores, libraries. Keep your eyes open. Another thing I've done which may help your dd is to buy classical CD's and play them. Start with catchy stuff (Lizst's 2nd Hungarian Rhapsody, Beethoven's 5th Symphony, Moonlight Sonata, etc.) to hook them. Then, take her down to a store like Barnes & Noble which has a large stock of classical music CD's and let her choose some herself. You may have to suggest/point out things. Play them in the car, while doing school, everywhere. Keep expanding this, slowly, to include all different kinds of music. Live concerts/music might excite her a little more, too. It doesn't have to be a full-fledged orchestra. We used to go hear various bluegrass groups play at a nearby campground from May until Sept/Oct. For free. Loaded up the car with the lawn chairs and kids and spent every Sunday evening listening to live bluegrass. A great thing about this is that you can talk to the musicians afterwards. And you can also network to find teachers, if she hears something she likes. Or jam sessions where she can listen or join in - whatever she wants. And finally, give her the option of choosing another instrument. We have a variety of instruments around our house. One of our ds's even asked for an accordian for his birthday one year. We bought him a used one and our youngest dd now plays it, too. It could be she just hasn't found her 'groove' yet. :) HTH

:lol: I'd leave it and save those papers and show them to him when he's in his 20's. Our 25yos just spent about a month sorting through stacks and stacks of his old papers (and personal notes .. he writes constantly). He would find some funny ones (well ... they were pretty much all funny ...:001_huh: ) and read them aloud as we all cracked up laughing. It was great. Hard to envision for you at your ds's age right now, I know, but one day you'll love those papers. ;)

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I don't really 'teach' history. I give them the GB's list (ours is a combo of WTM and HTRAB lists) and they read them. I discuss what I can, they discuss amongst themselves, etc. What I have done, though, is to insist they read a good bit of history outside of the GB, yet related to the GB they are reading. They read bio's, books about the time period (vs just the WTM recommendations for the context paper), primary sources if available, and so on. All of them really enjoy this and I can see where it helps pull everything together and makes it stick for them. It's not necessarily the details that stick. It's the over all flow and timeline of history that sticks. For example, when we're discussing parts of the Bible, they are able to fill in the blanks with more broad world history information. It's not just Bible stories, ancient Greece stories, Roman stories, etc. They all come together to form one story. History. As far as goals, I had no idea it would turn out this way. This is not how I learned the miniscule bits of history I had. I was taught history like I was taught science ... memorize this, recite that. Nothing in my schooling prepared me for this. There was no way I could have 'taught' it. I could only stand back and let them go. So I guess I would say just trust your kids. Give them the encouragement, guide them towards excellent resources, make the time for them to study, and watch them go. And, hopefully, you'll be able to keep up with them. ;) FWIW

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Hi all. We've been hs'ing since 1988. I've been posting on these boards since 2000, shortly after I found the WTM book and began using it to hs our 5 dc. Since we cut off the internet at home years ago, I only read/post when we come into town and I have time to kill at the library. We began hs'ing in 1988, as soon as I realized it was legal. I started with KONOS, WRTR, Building Thinking Skills, Mathematical Reasoning, and other things long forgotten. WTM was truly an answer to prayer for us. I've also found many other helpful curr. from reading this board. Something I'm very grateful for. Thanks SWB and those who post their zillions of ideas, year after year, here. Our 5 hs'ed dc continue to live and study -- at home. Thus far, none have opted to attend college. Not the norm for this board (or this country??), I know. And, yes, everyone thinks we're crazy. We all love it, however. Originally from LA and SC, we currently live way back in the woods in Southwestern VA, where we hope to retire if the job holds out that long (we're 52 and 53). It's a little shaky at the moment. But, as usual, we'll go where the job goes. And continue to hs no matter where we end up. ;)

It helps me to work the problems in a quiet room, alone, late at night, with a white board, and a classical station or CD (usually John Field's "Nocturnes") playing softly. Also, it always goes much better if I can stay ahead of them in working the problems. It helps me 'see' their errors vs stumbling around on the white board trying to figure out how to do it in the first place. It also gives me a chance to ask my dh how to do it if I can't. HTH

Yes, my now 34yos was taught whole word/sight reading in K. When I took him out to hs him at 14yo, 9th grade, he was reading at 6th grade level. :eek: Lousy comprehension, horrible composition skills, etc. I was horrified and was later told by someone in the guidance dept. that they kept moving them ahead until they were more than 2 years behind grade level.:ack2: They suggested I have him tested for LD's. I did. He had none. He just couldn't read! :glare: I'm not sure he ever actually caught up.

About all I ever did for our dc who now garden was to take them places (20yod esp. loves it. She even saves seeds in the frig and tests them to see if they're still good ... or something like that :confused:). Some of these places are: --library (gardening books - I used to check out stacks for them before they began choosing their own. You may have to show her how to get the most from them.) --Lowe's/Home Depot/Wal Mart (tools, seeds, various garden equipment - prepare to wander aimlessly, explain tools, muse over seeds and bulbs, etc) --nurseries (many, many plants and unusual things, too - water garden suppliers are fun for kids, too --- don't rush through any of them --- tell her what you like, ask what she likes, etc.) --many public gardens (I esp. love roses, even if I have a black thumb. Dh says the only thing we know how to grow is kids. :D --- use the net to find them, ask the hive -- we've seen some gorgeous gardens over the years --- great activity to do while on vacations!) As you walk through these places, point out things, comment on things, show some enthusiasm, let them know you are willing to invest in a very worthwhile hobby, and so on. Be willing to let them fail (ex. an expensive plant dies). It's especially helpful to visit public gardens (or private, if you know someone). I used them as a teaching tool, since I knew squat about gardening. It's not too hard to do. Stand back and talk to her about how the garden is 'planned', how they put some plants here and others there, how they planned the colors, etc. Smell things. Touch things. Take photos. Use your imagination. It's really fun, even if you don't know what you're doing. And don't rush through these places. Find a place to sit and let her explore. She might also enjoy sketching some of the plants (they never wiggle!;)). Our dd's will do this occassionally. Gardens are everywhere. Many public buildings have some kind of greenery scattered here and there. Start noticing and pointing it out to her. Also, if you have the wild critters like we do, you may have to invest in some chain link fencing and electric fencing somewhere down the line. It's very frustrating to them to plant something only to see the deer munching away at it. (Deer can leap over a chain link fence. Electric is for them.) And a compost pile in a corner of their garden is fun for them, too. It'll also decrease your garbage, if you're like we are and eat a lot of veggies. Anyway, I still don't know squat about gardening; but all 5 of our hs'ed dc garden. So there's hope .... it can be done!:) HTH

You might also want to think about the less-than-desirable behaviors she is likely to pick up. Behaviors which you will have to waste time undoing, should you decide to bring her back home at some point. I never got past that point, personally, when I tried to hs my oldest (ps'ed) ds when he was 14yo. I only made it 6 months and then put him back in ps. HTH

Yes, I think there is a lot of truth in this. Dh's mother was a career woman. She once called me from her job (to harrass me, basically, when she knew dh was at work), and once made a comment about having to "get back to the real world" as she was saying goodbye.:glare: My own mother, however, was a SAHM; but I was always surprised how easily offended she was by my own choices which differed from hers - hsing, not spending every bit of vacation with relatives, etc. I just viewed them as choices I'd made based on better options being available. Not a commentary on her parenting.:confused: My mother is 77 and dh's mother is 73. It could be a generational thing, I don't know. Both cut off contact with our whole family when they realized we wouldn't let them run roughshod over us. Kind of like spoiled brats, IMO. I tend to just chalk it up to fact that both of them are as lost as they can be.

Wow. You are ... one ... lucky ... woman. Really. And he gave you such a wonderful basis for walking away. Great technique. Ria, since these are your dh's parents, is it possible for him to handle them? Both my mother and his mother (fathers were fairly passive) acted like this towards me. I handled mine and he handled his - unless it was something that they did which had to be dealt with immediately and dh wasn't right there (usually involved mistreating certain of our dc) - a situation I avoided like the plague, if I could. Also, I really like the "better or bitter" principle. Sensing that both sets of parents would probably never really change, I realized years ago that it was really more about me not doing anything that I would regret, looking back, in my old age. I, personally, have enough of that kind of garbage without piling more on top of the already mountainous heap. :tongue_smilie: HTH.

Aw, Jenn, such a wonderful post. And such great principles and ideas. :)

I don't have much free time, but I thought of our neighbor when I thought of this question. He's 62, lives alone (son in WA), and has never really had to work, that I know of. (family hit jackpot when interstate came through, or something like that) Good health, rarely travels. So what keeps him busy? Seasonal things -- Spring begins mushroom hunting season. Dh recently hooked him up to Google Earth. From there, he was able to locate excellent sites to hunt the coveted morel mushrooms (he and his friends found 60!). They took them all back to his house to share some homemade bread (he baked it), and then went to one of the other person's houses to cook and eat. He took some venison and cooked it with the mushrooms. I made him a couple of desserts which he also took. They feasted. He found this local group via the net. There were 10 adults and 3 children on this particular hunt. He also burns off his decorative grass in late winter/spring. Dh took dd's down there one night to see it. He used to have dinner parties where they did this. The bears have now returned to our area. He photographs them all spring, summer, and early fall, until they leave again. Summer -- He tends his garden patches which he had planted in the spring. Cans tomatoes if he gets plenty. Starts planning for hunting season ... checking deer stands, guns, etc. Cuts wood for his fireplace. Fall -- Hunts, and when the leaves begin to fall, he rereads "Lord of the Rings" ... every year. (no TV, has Internet though) Winter -- Not as much going on. Probably planning stuff. Generally, he was spending a lot of time helping a nearby elderly couple run their farm. He took his tractor down there and spent a few summers planting some stuff the deer love, hoping to attract deer (he also hunts there). He's also involved with a local university somehow. He's always having youngish couples over for dinner and going over to their houses for dinner. He also befriended the guy their daughter lives with. This guy carpools with my dh, and they meet at our neighbor's house every morning. Our neighbor feeds them coffee and his homemade bread. Then, the guy leaves his car at neighbor's house and carpools with dh. Neighbor usually has a snack ready for them in the evening when they return. This week dh had homemade bread, morel mushrooms, etc. Neighbor and this guy (a gunsmith) spend many hours discussing hunting, guns, etc. Every evening, he blasts classical music CD's as he watches the sun set on the mountains from his deck. He also reads a lot. He grows shiitake mushrooms and helped us get started, too. He also loves to cook (kind of gourmet stuff). He has a sister nearby and they visit back and forth. These are just a few of the things that I know about. He's more dh's friend than mine. I rarely go down there. But you can see that, even though he lives alone, he finds a good many things to do. Some are hobbies, some are helping others .... overall, a good variety. He uses the net to find people with similar inerests. Well, dh says it's time to go, so gotta run. HTH Kathy

Not in the military, but spent most of my youth just across the Savannah River from Augusta, GA, in Aiken, SC My parents used to take us shopping over there about once a month. I never liked Augusta. Or Aiken, for that matter. Augusta was the home of James Brown. Remember him? "I feel good ... like I knew that I would ... etc":party: Anyway, I haven't been there in years, but there wasn't much to do when we lived there. And you're a few hours away from the beach if you're on that side of the state. Of course, if you're really into golf and know a way to get Master's tickets, there's that. I never knew anyone, personally, who actually went; but it was great getting a week off school every year for it. I'd choose somewhere else, if it was my decision. HTH Kathy

That's what I always did (youngest is 16). Works great ... unless you're intent on having them finished with high school at a certain age - something we never worried about. But you probably don't have to think about that for quite a while, do you?

Our 18yod demands that we buy her NO candy. So we don't. Other dc request it though.

Hmmmm .... Ya know, it just occurred to me that had my high school math homework not been graded (and everything else), I never would have put the effort into it that I did. I mean, I think I would have made one stab at it and shoved it aside to go off and do something 'easier' with more immediate rewards. FWIW.