Something I started doing when I have to have dental work done is to ask the dentist (every single time, as I sit down in the chair - so's he won't forget ;)) to give me the maximum amount of novacaine. This keeps me out of pain and also reminds him (in a roundabout way) that I'm one of his more cowardly (?) patients. Maybe it would work for you? Also, I start praying about all my dental appointments about a month ahead of time. And I pray all the way to the office on the day of the appointment. And I try to have a few verses in my head as he's doing the work. I repeat them over and over while consciously telling my tense body to relax at the same time. Can you tell I hate to go to the dentist? :blush: Fortunately, I haven't passed on my fears to any of our dc. HTH Kathy

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We think along the same lines as "Grace Is Sufficient". Some of ours were quiet, some were talkative. Surrounding them with other people only made the quiet ones more quiet and the talkative ones more talkative. No surprise there. As far as sports/lessons though, which so many have cited for socialization purposes, I always had the attitude that they were there to learn - not socialize. I wasn't paying big bucks for them to socialize. That I can find for free. Now if they happen to strike up a friendship whilst in the process of learning, fine. But they better be doing the learning to the best of their ability, since that's why we were there in the first place. No way was I paying for them to socialize.

Well, whether we like it or not, hs'ing does require some kind of a sacrifice for most of us. Maybe that's what you're feeling? And it's further compounded by the disappointment of having people you care about be rather unsupportive - in a somewhat backhanded way. Not nice. :glare: All I can tell you is that the sacrifice (time, money, whatever) is worth the outcome. And when you need immediate feedback or support, you can always come here. It's the board that never closes. ;) So let the sil dance. And maybe even be happy for her - because she's happy (lousy motivations or not) - realizing that you're on a totally different path than she is, and that you have the support of the people who matter most ... your dh and, I assume, your dc. And us. :) HTH Kathy

I'm Kathy, 53yo. Eloped at 17 and dropped out of high school ("accelerated" classes). Marriage lasted all of 6 months and produced oldest ps'ed ds, now 34, married and living in Baltimore. Finished high school in night school, then wandered aimlessly for a few years until decided to go to college. Moved back home and got in a couple years of college before marrying dh (high school sweetheart). Married for 30 years (with plenty of rough spots) this summer. Went back to college at 24yo and finally graduated with BS in Medical Technology at 27yo. Hope I never have to actually use it, but it's nice to have, sometimes. Dh has worked in semiconductor industry for years so we've lived in NC, Northern VA, ID, NH, and are back in VA (SW, where we hope to retire someday). He now does something with gallium arsenide. No idea what, but he likes it and that's what counts. 5 always hs'ed dc, ages 26ds, 24ds, 21dd, 19dd, 16dd -- all still living at home. Hs'ing since ~1988. Began with KONOS, WRTR, Saxon, etc. Now using WTM (since 2000), 'new math' type things from the '60's & '70's, other logic things, various Bible things, etc. Hoping to do as much college as possible at home ... then, we'll just have to see. Mostly just stay home and do school. Christian (home church), vegan, many chickens, 6 peacocks, 3 cats, 2 dogs, lots of bears and kritters in the woods, guns, no net at home, 125 acres, rascally hillbilly neighbor in one direction, horse breeder in another direction, black family who've owned their land for over a hundred years (!) in another direction, and a couple of others down our long, gravel driveway. Dc garden, play various musical instruments, maintain house and property, write, art, sew, etc., etc., etc., in their 'spare' time. I'm lucky if I can do a little of what they're doing in their school. I do what I can, when I can. Dh teaches some subjects to ds's and plays bridge with dd's. Been on boards since ~2000. Thanks to SWB, Jessie Wise, and many others here. And library is about to close, so must go. Kathy

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A nice, thick, gloppy conditioner seems to help our dd's long hair. I think White Rain is the brand. But it's the super duper one, not the regular one. They wash their hair and apply plenty of conditioner after every swim. I also plan to trim their hair prior to pool season and, again, in the fall, after pool season. The first trim is to make it easier to wash (frequently). The second is to get rid of the 'ragged' look produced by the pool chemicals. When they were little, I noticed that if I skipped even one washing after pool time, their hair was a mess. I had to be very consistent about it. HTH Kathy

I love the quiet. Always have. Must have been the father who demanded perfect quiet in a house occupied by 3 kids (born 1 year apart - me + 2 brothers), and let us know, in a not so quiet way, when we were making 'noise'.:tongue_smilie: Luckily, we grew up in the South where we could play outdoors all year and the daylight hours were long. I hate going to certain stores because of the loud, erratic, just-plain-lousy music which blasts throughout. Wal-Mart, our local Kroger. Maybe they don't realize it causes some of their shoppers to hurry through the stores, spending less in the process. But now that I think of it like that, maybe I should be grateful for that grating music. It saves me money. ;) When our 6 dc were young, I craved quiet so I never listened to music much. Dh would blast his music (rock 'n roll) when he could. But it wasn't until we began listening to Classical music that I actually started tuning in the radio or playing CD's at various times during the day. I find I can actually enjoy music if it's Beethoven or Bach or Telleman or someone like that. I also enjoy listening to a Bluegrass station on Sunday afternoons when I cook. Otherwise, it's quiet. I think age must have something to do with it, too. (I'm 53.) Kathy

:001_huh:Uh....that's going to come as a shock to an awful lot of us hs'ers who have been doing it for years ... suddenly finding out we really can't teach it because we never had it. We usually just learn it along with the kids. And the best way I've found to convince someone you can do it? Just get busy doing it and let the results speak for themselves. At least, that's what has usually worked for me. Also, I'd encourage his involvement in any way possible. He may not be so great with younger kids (my dh wasn't), but as they get older he may do a 180. Be ready with a slew of 'suggestions' of ways in which he can participate - at all stages/ages. HTH Kathy

I remembered a few other things which might help you in your situation, and then I have to head home. Go snooping around and locate ALL the potential food sources close to you and where your dc play. (bird feeders, garbage, cat/dog food, ripe wild berries ...). You can almost predict that the bears will eventually smell their way to them. If you can clean it up, great. If not, maybe tell dc to stay away from those areas - and why. Remember bears can sniff out garbage in a garage or shed. You have to get rid of the smell (along with the food source). Remember that bears often travel the path of least resistance. The same paths/roads you do. It's easier. And no, I don't think you're overreacting at all if you have small children. If I had small children, I wouldn't even feed the birds so that the bears would stay farther away. In fact, if they were very small, I wouldn't let them out in the yard without me. But we're way out in the woods. Not sure about you. Also, not sure if it helps to wait "weeks" before letting the kids out again. Bears make rounds - like clockwork - as long as they are finding food in specific areas. When they visit a spot and fail to find that food for several visits, they move on to another spot which is more fruitful. They may revisit occassionally just to check the old spots, but eventually give them up so as not to waste energy while getting nothing in return. But if they even get something ONCE, they'll put it on their mental lists of hotspots and return looking for that food. Ya gotta be vigilant about keeping it from happening even once. Kind of unpredictable - yet predictable, if you know what I mean. Well, gotta run. HTH Kathy PS - I also don't go out in the yard when there is more than one bear eating close to each other. We have seen them charge each other and our neighbor saw 2 males fighting the other day. He was impressed. ;)

We have plenty of black bears around here. We're in a "corridor" which they use to migrate between their winter and summer homes. The only reason they hang around is because they are getting food from somewhere - neighbor feeds his millions of cats outside, another keeps his garbage outside, we feed the birds, wild berries or acorns are ripe, etc. They don't seem to like our compost or veggies, but they love chicken food, duck food, etc.; and if they ever smell meat they'll probably be back. (We don't eat meat.) We also see them playing down the cliff in the stream behind our house. They routinely appear in our yard soaking wet. When we moved here 11 years ago, I was scared of them. Now, I walk out in the yard (night or day) even when they're out there, keeping a healthy distance, of course. Black bears are skittish. Everything scares them. The only acceptions are a mother with cubs, mating season, and when they're standing over a pile of food. I don't go out in the yard if I see a mother with cubs out there. She would probably run, but I may inadvertently get between her and her cub(s). Not good. I'm also very wary during July and early August - mating season. Last summer, one of my Chihuahuas ran between a male and female who were hanging out at the backyard birdfeeder. The big male swatted her and we spent the morning at the emergency vet clinic. I'm sure the bear would have been just as annoyed had it been a child. And if they're eating something and you approach them, in their minds, you are coming to steal their food. Walk waaaaay around one if he's eating. Also, in August they begin to eat like crazy, fattening up for the winter. We see them in the trees in our yard, eating acorns. We also see many more of them during the late summer and early fall months. Once the hunters start shooting, however, they usually hide and only sneak out at night. Guns seem to keep most of them away. I guess if I was intent on keeping them away (I'm not. No young dc anymore. We enjoy watching them. Dh & dc even name them.:)), I would do a heck of a lot more target shooting out behind the shop. It's often days before we see a bear after we shoot. They are very persistent if they smell food. We took a day trip last week and when we got home dh's car door was open. He drinks coffee and eats in his car a lot, so his car smells like food until dc clean it. Well, I guess the bear smelled something he liked, because his teeth marks were on the door handle. He also bit dh's tire and flattened it. Dh went and bought a bunch of chicken wire and strung it around the carport so that our cars are now 'caged'. We have to 'uncage' our cars every time we want to go somewhere. :blink: They've also broken into our shop where dc keep the seed and feed. Dragged bags of it out, ripped it open, and sat down to feast. We lock the shop doors during bear season. And they love to drink out of our little above ground pool. We've even seen them go for a swim, leaving behind all kinds of gross bugs which were in their fur. Their claws, however, rip a hole right through the lining.:glare: Our neighbor hunts and processes his own deer, so they spend more time at his house in the fall. He has deer parts in various stage of decay all around his house all fall.:tongue_smilie: Fine by me. Anyway, here's what I tell dc, generally. When the bears first show up in the spring, they're hungry and touchy. They may be new bears and unsure of us. We don't know what kind of personalities each one has. Steer clear and give them plenty of room. Make tons of noise when you're outside. Carry a pistol if you want. Whatever. After we get to know this years' bears, you can relax a little. Don't walk around outside with food (obviously, but I always remind them). Be alert when you're running through the woods - don't just go tearing over a hill or around a curve without looking and listening. Give the bear a chance to run, which he will do if he hears or smells you before you run into him. Watch out for those cubs and mothers. During mating season, stay far, far away from any 2 bears you see, together. Don't wait to see whether it's a male and female. Assume it is. Before flinging the door open and tearing outside, LOOK. Make noise. Let the bear know you're there. 99% of the time he'll leave. Also, don't let the dogs out when the bears are in the yard. Chihuahuas think they're about 100 times larger than they actually are. They're either the bravest dogs in the world - or the stupidest. I vote brave, of course.;) And, finally, just be glad they aren't grizzlies. Now there's a scary bear.:scared: Black bears are just 'pets' compared to grizzlies. Enjoy your bears!

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The way I've learned to think of the veggies is like so. First, there are the three major 'starches': potatoes, corn, and rice. We all make plenty of at least one of these daily. (If we are eating flour, then flour products could also be included here. Oatmeal is mostly breakfast for us, but we also eat it all day long, sometimes. Beans, too, I suppose. We don't eat so much of those.) Then, there are the 'green & yellow' veggies. A lot of those are listed in the other posts. These are not as filling as the starches (unless you douse them with fats - oils, butter, etc. - something we opt out of), so remember to add a good helping of starch when you serve these so no one goes away hungry. Think of Chinese food (w/o all the fat, of course). There is usually a huge pile of rice with a bunch of green/yellow veggies thrown on top. Only rice would not be as satisfying. Only green/yellow veggies would not be as filling. Make sense? Then, there are the fruits. More of a dessert than a meal. Then, there are the condiments. Store-bought sauces, homemade sauces, agave nectar, honey, sugars, jams, etc. We slather these on just about anything, but they're entirely optional. And, finally, the drinks. Water works fine. All else is optional. Another note. It's not necessary to combine certain kinds of food to obtain maximum nutritional benefit, as far as I can tell. I know many veg. cookbooks go on and on about that, but we've never worried about it. We just eat what we want, when we want. Don't even take vitamins ... and never had a problem. HTH Kathy

When I went to pick up my library work, I seemed to have grabbed 16yod's schedule which she just revised, so may as well put it up here. I tell her what subjects must be included and she (& all our dc) arrange their own schedules around preset group times and their own person interests. She hasn't included things like practicing the piano (I heard her playing about 9:30pm last night), individual Bible study, chores, other subjects she does on her own (German, etc.), gardening and other hobbies, etc. She also does a bunch of stuff on weekends. Just not sure what all of it is. I know she gives me math to correct, sometimes, on weekends. And I see her reading a GB or a history bio or eyewitness account, frequently, so the hour for history is misleading. Anyway, this is for Monday - Thursday. Fridays are open for whatever subjects they want to do, focusing on writing longer papers, library work, hobbies, etc. Weekends are also open for the same. Chores are constant and it's up to each of them to work them in around their school. Monday - Thursday 8:30 Greek 9:00 Math 9:30 Logic 10:00 listen to J. Vernon McGee on radio 10:30 run 11:00 Latin 11:30 Math 1:30 listen to John MacArthur on radio & eat lunch 2:00 Science 3:00 History (GB's, etc) 4:00 Bible 4:30 listen to sermon on CD (MacArthur again) 5:00 Rhetoric Sunday Walking with Daddy & sisters Bridge with Daddy & sisters HTH Kathy

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I'd call Animal Control, too. I did this once, even though we're out in the woods and I could just as easily have shot them. A 'couple' - Rottweiler (female) and St. Bernard (male) - appeared in my yard one day and sat there staring at me. Refused to leave. The male had a gash across his side as if he'd been fighting or something. I called a neighbor or two to see if anyone claimed them. They didn't, so I called AC. They came right out and searched until they found them (they had wandered down to another neighbor's house), and caught them and took them away. Never heard what happened to them. But we've never had another problem with 'stray' dogs again. Ya gotta set that precedent so the neighbor knows you're serious. Esp. when it's a safety issue. Now if I could just figure out a way to get rid of those bear dogs that come tearing through our yard .... ;)

Here's a link to a board set up like this one, only for discussing recipes and such. It's vegan, but you can always alter where you see fit. HTH http://drmcdougall.com/forums/index.php

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Yes, we will be praying for your son and his team and the lost man.