I had to have some physical therapy in December, and lo and behold…I caught something. Pretty sure from the PT office. It wasn’t bad. Like a moderate cold, not even a bad one. Mostly I felt much more tired than normal. I lost my sense of smell for a couple of days, but honestly I’ve had that happen before with a regular cold. I took a single OTC test and it was negative, but that means nothing. If the viral load isn’t big enough, the tests are negative. It wasn’t worth it to me to keep testing and testing, so I didn’t. So, I figure the over-tired feeling and the loss of smell means it was probably covid, but I’m not 100% sure. Sometimes I tell myself, “Nah, it was just a cold,” but the odds are likely that it was covid.

Me, too. Refusing to go would create DRAMA in the family. It can be tricky to extract oneself from things like this, so I can see why the OP was loathe to do so.

OP here. After having read the replies, I’m realizing that for me, it’s these three posts that describe best what I’m feeling. It’s not necessarily the grand things that I catch myself fantasizing about. I just want a bit more control over my own little environment, like with what meals I eat and how I spend my days when I’m puttering around at home. It’s those little compromises all day long that wear me down, and I don’t see any way around them. And that’s when I catch myself thinking, “Well, one day when I live alone, I’m going to eat spaghetti three times a week and get rid of all those kitchen appliances I never use.” (My dh and ds use a lot of appliances that I never touch.) I suppose I’m glad that I’m still managing to find meaning in my life overall, but I do fantasize about, “When I live alone….” though at the same time, I never actually want to live alone!

I’m 49 years old and catch myself thinking things like, “Well, when my life begins, then I’ll do X,” the way a high school senior might think ahead to their life beginning when they’re done with school. Or I will catch myself thinking, “When I live alone, I’ll do Y.” I have no intention of leaving my dh, and I will cry like a baby when the kids finally leave the nest. So why do I catch myself thinking about how I’ll live life a certain way when I’m alone? I don’t want to be alone! Overall, I have realized lately that there’s a part of me still waiting for my life to start. But at 49…it started a long, long time ago. Why do I feel like I don’t own my own life? Does everyone feel this way? Are we all waiting for our lives to begin? Is it simple selfishness, and I just want to do what I want to do without having to think about anyone else? Or maybe a lot of wives/mothers feel this way?

Oh wow! That article is from the future! Coooool! Sorry….having a little Dr. Who moment with the time difference between where I am and where the OP is. 😄 Now, I’ll get past the date and actually read the article….

Well, the person you’re responding to had a mother who raged at her children. So, I wouldn’t doubt that she’s speaking from experience at seeing her mother raging and then picking up the phone and talking sweet as a kitten, much to the trauma of her children.

I don’t see this as what the OP is talking about at all. Putting on a happy face isn’t the same as not being frank. The OP is talking about someone having a personal bad day and then spewing all their negative emotions onto everyone else. That has nothing to do with frankly and honestly providing feedback on an issue. If I had a fight with my husband before work, I’m not going to go in and snap at my coworkers or burst into tears or answer the phone with a snotty attitude. If I had a fight with my husband before work, I’m going to give my coworkers a smile and say Good Morning, I’m going to keep my tears to myself (maybe a stall in the bathroom if it’s really bad), and I”m going to be polite and helpful to the callers.

I shouldn’t have watched that smug, self-righteous, sickening video. For the past 6 months, I’ve managed to keep my frustration at THESE PEOPLE on an intellectual level, and have been able to keep the feelings of utter outrage and anger tamped down. But they’re all so smug! Oh, I feel such hatred toward them. Wow. I hate that I feel this way, but I do. I should not have watched that video.

I don’t ever *feel* cherished, but I know I am cherished. I know my husband loves me dearly, but he doesn’t speak my love language well at all. My love language isn’t acts of service, so that particular example of cherished (he does things for me) doesn’t resonate with me. My love language is an equal mix of words of affirmation and quality time. So, if he spent time with me and sweet talked me, boy oh boy would I feel cherished! Oh, I would just melt!! But it’s just not his strength. He just can’t really do it. He doesn’t have the words and when he tries, they aren’t convincing at all! It’s just not in him to sweet talk. And while I love him dearly, I also don’t think he feels cherished, because his love language is physical touch. I have sometimes wondered if I have a bit of my dad’s autism because I dislike being touched so very much. I don’t like shaking people’s hands and I never hug friends when I see them. Sometimes I accidentally physically recoil when someone touches me, before I can catch myself. I have to try to remember to do things like hold my husband’s hand or pat him on the shoulder when I walk by, or whatever, because I could easily go a year without touching him and not even think about it. What a pair we are! So, I *know* I’m cherished, but I don’t *feel* it. I hope my husband knows I cherish him, but I do a terrible job of speaking his love language, so he most likely doesn’t feel it. (This is a good reminder for me to work on that.)

I’ve seen a lot of articles with titles that have AF in them. I can’t think of one now, but I really dislike the trend. As others have said—too unprofessional for me.

Well yes…if someone has cancer, you go with them. But this guy doesn’t have cancer! He doesn’t actually have any scans, surgeons, oncologists, radiologists. So…of course she’s not going to appointments with him. He’s not going either!

In mid-2020, I’d go shopping every week and buy 2-3 boxes of tissues. And every week, we’d have no tissues left! We were using them up at an alarming rate! Until I realized that my husband (who puts away the groceries) wasn’t putting them in the basement, where I thought they were supposed to go and where I’d search for them every week. He was stuffing them in the top of a closet. We had 23 boxes by the time I figured it all out.

Eh, he’s just a shyster. A con man. He’s never been religious, but just pretended to be for the money.

I would stop watering the plants and getting the mail. And never talk to her again. Enough is enough.

Yes, I do think it’s weird. If I was the mom of a little girl and a male cousin was that interested in her, I’d be watching like a hawk. No, I don’t think it’s weird. I think it’s sweet that the older cousin is taking the younger cousin under his wing. He’ll make a great dad someday. I would be feeling both of the above at the same time.

Stephanie Meyers said that when she was writing Edward, she was writing him as if he’d sort of petrified at age 17. So, even though he had lived 100 years, he was at the emotional stage of a 17-year-old. That’s why he was attracted to Bella and she to him. I’m not sure how much Bella loved Edward, so much as she loved immortality. It would be hard to walk away from being indestructible and model-level beautiful and immortal to be with Jacob. I think it would be hard for a 17 yo to walk away from all that the Cullen family represented and could offer her. If Edward had stayed away, she’d have eventually gotten over the grief of losing the promise of immortality and beauty and indestructibility (oh and fabulous wealth) and settled down with Jacob and been mostly happy.

I used them for high school, but also bought Great Courses as well, plus some extra books to read on the side.

Me, too!

I head to the bathroom to read All The Time. I’m in here now! I’ve been here for 45 minutes. I’m “getting ready for bed” but I’m also reading this thread. I find it very, very difficult to read a book in a room with other people. You have a small house with kids. I can’t imagine that when the oldest is reading, they’re not goofing off around her, or having conversations. Other than this bathroom, it’s hard to find a place in my own house where someone won’t interrupt me, usually for no good reason. The only time they don’t tug at my attention is when I’m in the bathroom. It’s the only place I can read and know that someone won’t say, “Hey mom! I’m hungry!” 15 times in a row at me. My youngest is 16 and he loooves to aggravate me by saying “I’m hungry!” over and over and over. He’s joking around, so I don’t put a stop to it (because he’s a teen and he’s allowed to be a little annoying because if I “put a stop” to everything I’ll ruin the relationship), and usually it’s funny when he’s goofing around like that…but I need time in the bathroom where there are no jokes and I can just be “me” and not be Mom or Honey. So, first thing: if you want the bathroom to be available and you’ve said there’s a place where she can have her own room…is that space available for her to use in the daytime when she needs a reading break, even if she doesn’t take it over as her own room? Somewhere she can feel safe that a tumble of little kids won’t come rolling into the room right when she’s at an emotional part of the book? I get misty-eyed through most of what I read—it’s sad, it’s heartwarming, it’s whatever. I HATE to be feeling that intense emotional reaction but then have an entire houseful of people distracting me from it or simply not being in the same headspace I’m in. It’s disorienting. Perhaps you can allow her to go to your bedroom during the day and shut the door behind her with strict instructions that little siblings can NOT go in there? Only you and Dad can interrupt her reading time? Oh, and my sons haaaaaated doing the dishes together. They would gladly take turns doing the washing and drying by themselves than work together. I like what others have said about giving her chores that can be done solo.

Congratulations! And just looking at that photo made me feel nauseated. 😄 I had a lot of all-day nausea with both my pregnancies. Anything pregnancy related immediately brings on a little wave of phantom nausea.

We did the 10-book series in a single year. It was too much. 🙂 If I could do it over again, we’d spread out the 10-book series over at least 2 years, or we’d do the concise version. I’d probably do the concise version and get it done in a single year.

I might have two cats coming my way in the next few years. I have an aunt in her 70s who has many serious health issues. She has a cat that will need a home if she passes. That kitty would go to either me or my brother-in-law. And I am friends with couple in their 70s who also h ave many serious health issues. They also have a cat that would need a home if they pass, or if they go to a nursing home. Their brains are as spry as ever, but their physical conditions are alarming. I would be happy to take either cat or even both at this point. But if someone wanted me to take a large dog, it would depend upon the dog. An old, quiet dog that just lies around on a rug by the fire, sure. But an energetic dog that will want to play with my 5 crabby cats? Nope. Won’t work. My mom and dad have always had a houseful of pets. They are in their 70s and in excellent health, but they are choosing not to replace their pets as the pets pass. They’re down to 3 cats and a small dog, which is a very small amount of pets for them. But they’re thinking of the future and realizing that even if I wanted to, it would be hard to take on 3 extra cats and a small dog. Just 5 years ago, they had 10 cats and a dog, which I could never have taken on.

I don’t think you should be embarrassed that the books inspired you to study anthropology. 🙂 The books make you so curious about people of the past that you want to learn more. Nothing wrong with that!

https://www.iue.edu/student-success/coursework/commas.html

Note: I much (much) preferred the original novella form of Ender’s Game. Later, the author turned it into a longer book, and frankly, I don’t think it’s as good.