Wooden antiques: do not paint. Wooden trim in an old house: do not paint. A modern or semi-modern piece of furniture, especially if it’s low-medium quality: paint your heart out! I like the twig paper.

My 48-year-old friend found on on Thursday she has cancer. There’s a mass in her chest between her heart and lungs, pressing on her heart. There are nodules in her lungs and the lymph nodes under her arms are swollen. She gets a PET scan and biopsy on Tuesday to see exactly where the cancer is and what kind. Oncologist appointment on Friday. Whirlwind. I’ve been friends with her since we were 6 and 7 years old, so for 42 years. I can’t imagine a world without her in it. We have no idea what the prognosis could be at this point. On Thursday upon hearing the dx, the first thing she wanted was family portraits (she has four children). Since photography is my hobby and I can pull off professional-looking pictures when I work hard at it, we made an appointment for a portrait session on Saturday (yesterday). By Tuesday she will not be up for pictures. I second the idea of paying for them to get family portraits. Ask first, but make the offer. My friend that I’m talking about has portraits that were taken shortly before her father’s death and she treasures them. Since she treasures those pictures, she wanted her family to have a set of portraits of a sweet day when they were all together as a family, just in case the worst happens. She knows the value of beautiful pictures of loved ones who have passed.

I finally got around to checking the date on the fire extinguisher that’s in our kitchen. 1989. I hadn’t even graduated high school yet in 1989. I’m 49 years old now. Apparently, my husband brought this fire extinguisher to the marriage as his dowry.

I’m so sorry for such a devastating loss. Would you like to tell us a few things about him? Sometimes people feel an urge to share stories about their loved one. If you want to do that, we will listen.

In this particular case, the above is what I’m thinking. It’s another game to play with you as the loser. Another hoop to try to get you to jump through. I wouldn’t remind her.

My husband works at a college and has for 16 years. In that time, he’s outlasted 2 very bad bosses. He just stuck it out until they left. Many, many people quit both times because of those 2 bad bosses. They would tell HR, I’m leaving because of X. Workers went individually to HR and in groups to HR. Nothing ever came of it. Maybe your HR is more on top of things and will take action, or maybe yours is like my DHs where they frown and nod in sympathy when you talk to them about it, but they do nothing. Since the principal is looking for another job, I’d probably wait a bit and see if you can outlast her. At the same time, you could look for a new job, but wouldn’t it be horrible if you left to go to a new place, and that’s where she ended up as well? Do you know how seriously she’s looking for new work?

I liked that it explained how to carry an idea forward and expound upon it; how to take something that was said in the previous sentence and make more of it. Kids often just state a fact or two and then have no idea how to expound on those facts and then get frustrated because they can’t think of anything else to write. WTTW taught my kids how to expound and explain the statements that they made in their writing. For a very simple (and poorly written example because I’m answering you quickly), a kid might have to explain that Popeye is a sailor man. Prompt:Tell me how you know Popeye is a sailor man. Student who can’t expound: I don’t know what else to saaaay! He just IS a sailor man! There’s nothing to say! Student who expounds by building on the previous sentence: “Popeye is a sailor man. Before tattoos were socially acceptable, sailors were some of the few people who had tattoos. Popeye had a tattoo. His tattoo was of an anchor. Only sailors use anchors. Since only sailors had tattoos and only sailors use anchors, the conclusion is that Popeye is a sailor man. Notice how a word from each previous sentence can be found in the next sentence? Ignore how ridiculously simple this is (and badly written!)! I’m just writing fast and dirty to demonstrate how you can take a word or idea from the previous sentence and say something else about it and then come to a conclusion. Anyway…that lesson right there was worth using WttW for us. It was so eye-opening to my kids and frankly to me as well. I could expound for myself, but didn’t know how to break it down and explain to the kids how to do it.

Zombie thread. But it was nice to see some people’s names that I haven’t seen in a long time!

My heart hurts for you all. I wish I could help. It’s so hard to watch your child suffer.

I had to have some physical therapy in December, and lo and behold…I caught something. Pretty sure from the PT office. It wasn’t bad. Like a moderate cold, not even a bad one. Mostly I felt much more tired than normal. I lost my sense of smell for a couple of days, but honestly I’ve had that happen before with a regular cold. I took a single OTC test and it was negative, but that means nothing. If the viral load isn’t big enough, the tests are negative. It wasn’t worth it to me to keep testing and testing, so I didn’t. So, I figure the over-tired feeling and the loss of smell means it was probably covid, but I’m not 100% sure. Sometimes I tell myself, “Nah, it was just a cold,” but the odds are likely that it was covid.

Me, too. Refusing to go would create DRAMA in the family. It can be tricky to extract oneself from things like this, so I can see why the OP was loathe to do so.

OP here. After having read the replies, I’m realizing that for me, it’s these three posts that describe best what I’m feeling. It’s not necessarily the grand things that I catch myself fantasizing about. I just want a bit more control over my own little environment, like with what meals I eat and how I spend my days when I’m puttering around at home. It’s those little compromises all day long that wear me down, and I don’t see any way around them. And that’s when I catch myself thinking, “Well, one day when I live alone, I’m going to eat spaghetti three times a week and get rid of all those kitchen appliances I never use.” (My dh and ds use a lot of appliances that I never touch.) I suppose I’m glad that I’m still managing to find meaning in my life overall, but I do fantasize about, “When I live alone….” though at the same time, I never actually want to live alone!

I’m 49 years old and catch myself thinking things like, “Well, when my life begins, then I’ll do X,” the way a high school senior might think ahead to their life beginning when they’re done with school. Or I will catch myself thinking, “When I live alone, I’ll do Y.” I have no intention of leaving my dh, and I will cry like a baby when the kids finally leave the nest. So why do I catch myself thinking about how I’ll live life a certain way when I’m alone? I don’t want to be alone! Overall, I have realized lately that there’s a part of me still waiting for my life to start. But at 49…it started a long, long time ago. Why do I feel like I don’t own my own life? Does everyone feel this way? Are we all waiting for our lives to begin? Is it simple selfishness, and I just want to do what I want to do without having to think about anyone else? Or maybe a lot of wives/mothers feel this way?

Oh wow! That article is from the future! Coooool! Sorry….having a little Dr. Who moment with the time difference between where I am and where the OP is. 😄 Now, I’ll get past the date and actually read the article….

Well, the person you’re responding to had a mother who raged at her children. So, I wouldn’t doubt that she’s speaking from experience at seeing her mother raging and then picking up the phone and talking sweet as a kitten, much to the trauma of her children.

I don’t see this as what the OP is talking about at all. Putting on a happy face isn’t the same as not being frank. The OP is talking about someone having a personal bad day and then spewing all their negative emotions onto everyone else. That has nothing to do with frankly and honestly providing feedback on an issue. If I had a fight with my husband before work, I’m not going to go in and snap at my coworkers or burst into tears or answer the phone with a snotty attitude. If I had a fight with my husband before work, I’m going to give my coworkers a smile and say Good Morning, I’m going to keep my tears to myself (maybe a stall in the bathroom if it’s really bad), and I”m going to be polite and helpful to the callers.

I shouldn’t have watched that smug, self-righteous, sickening video. For the past 6 months, I’ve managed to keep my frustration at THESE PEOPLE on an intellectual level, and have been able to keep the feelings of utter outrage and anger tamped down. But they’re all so smug! Oh, I feel such hatred toward them. Wow. I hate that I feel this way, but I do. I should not have watched that video.

I don’t ever *feel* cherished, but I know I am cherished. I know my husband loves me dearly, but he doesn’t speak my love language well at all. My love language isn’t acts of service, so that particular example of cherished (he does things for me) doesn’t resonate with me. My love language is an equal mix of words of affirmation and quality time. So, if he spent time with me and sweet talked me, boy oh boy would I feel cherished! Oh, I would just melt!! But it’s just not his strength. He just can’t really do it. He doesn’t have the words and when he tries, they aren’t convincing at all! It’s just not in him to sweet talk. And while I love him dearly, I also don’t think he feels cherished, because his love language is physical touch. I have sometimes wondered if I have a bit of my dad’s autism because I dislike being touched so very much. I don’t like shaking people’s hands and I never hug friends when I see them. Sometimes I accidentally physically recoil when someone touches me, before I can catch myself. I have to try to remember to do things like hold my husband’s hand or pat him on the shoulder when I walk by, or whatever, because I could easily go a year without touching him and not even think about it. What a pair we are! So, I *know* I’m cherished, but I don’t *feel* it. I hope my husband knows I cherish him, but I do a terrible job of speaking his love language, so he most likely doesn’t feel it. (This is a good reminder for me to work on that.)

I’ve seen a lot of articles with titles that have AF in them. I can’t think of one now, but I really dislike the trend. As others have said—too unprofessional for me.

Well yes…if someone has cancer, you go with them. But this guy doesn’t have cancer! He doesn’t actually have any scans, surgeons, oncologists, radiologists. So…of course she’s not going to appointments with him. He’s not going either!

In mid-2020, I’d go shopping every week and buy 2-3 boxes of tissues. And every week, we’d have no tissues left! We were using them up at an alarming rate! Until I realized that my husband (who puts away the groceries) wasn’t putting them in the basement, where I thought they were supposed to go and where I’d search for them every week. He was stuffing them in the top of a closet. We had 23 boxes by the time I figured it all out.

Eh, he’s just a shyster. A con man. He’s never been religious, but just pretended to be for the money.

I would stop watering the plants and getting the mail. And never talk to her again. Enough is enough.

Yes, I do think it’s weird. If I was the mom of a little girl and a male cousin was that interested in her, I’d be watching like a hawk. No, I don’t think it’s weird. I think it’s sweet that the older cousin is taking the younger cousin under his wing. He’ll make a great dad someday. I would be feeling both of the above at the same time.

Stephanie Meyers said that when she was writing Edward, she was writing him as if he’d sort of petrified at age 17. So, even though he had lived 100 years, he was at the emotional stage of a 17-year-old. That’s why he was attracted to Bella and she to him. I’m not sure how much Bella loved Edward, so much as she loved immortality. It would be hard to walk away from being indestructible and model-level beautiful and immortal to be with Jacob. I think it would be hard for a 17 yo to walk away from all that the Cullen family represented and could offer her. If Edward had stayed away, she’d have eventually gotten over the grief of losing the promise of immortality and beauty and indestructibility (oh and fabulous wealth) and settled down with Jacob and been mostly happy.