We refer to it as "covid19."

Original poster, could you set up another facebook account to use solely for the DDPY group you mentioned? Another idea would be to snooze all friends for 30 days or simply unfriend everyone, so you do not see the frustrating posts.

Two of my children have gender neutral names although people of USA may not consider the younger child's name as gender neutral. Having a gender neutral first name came in handy for older of the two because he realized he was transgender (ftm) early on. Thus, the only name change required was his middle name, which he changed from my mother's first name to his father's first name.

What a clever idea for Christmas gift.

It was the employer's duty to perform a criminal and financial background check before hiring. If employer failed to do so, perhaps employer has policy against background checks. Even though you have stated what this person did was horrible, I would think twice about possibly getting someone fired, particularly if he has a family to support in these chaotic times.

I caution you to NOT purchase family heirlooms unless you get a qualified appraisal and pay the full appraisal price. The appraisal can protect you when there are potential problems down the road with heirs which are highly likely. I have actually been in a deposition where heirs, all of whom were worth at least $5 million prior to receiving their share of decedent's assets, argued over which one should receive a certain item in decedent's vacation home and how much value should be assigned to item. I assume she does not qualify for Medicaid. If you have sufficient funds to help her, I think it is best to pay directly to medical provider instead of giving money to the family member. Make it a gift, not a loan; this will minimize any future misunderstandings. I am sorry you are going through this; it is terribly difficult to see someone who cannot afford needed medical treatment.

I would not expect relatives who have sharply divergent viewpoint from mine on covid precautions to accommodate a request to take precautions I recommended, nor would I make a planned visit contingent upon their honoring my request. In other words, I would not make the trip at all due to risk factors in your family.

My largest single donation is to an independent women's reproductive health center that I sat on board of before I got cancer. Center provides abortions and has a birthing center. They offer comprehensive sex ed, provide services to people who may be shunned by medical establishment such as people who are transgender or HIV positive. Certain types of birth control such as Mirena IUD are completely free to patients thanks to a generous donor. Our second largest donation is to our major local food bank. Next is St. Jude's since I know people on board. We also try to support our local arts community. I have friends on boards of all these organizations who can vouch for their wise use of donated funds. Since we both strongly advocate for death with dignity, we contribute to a sort of umbrella organization. Although donations to individuals do not count as qualified charitable gifts for purpose of itemized deductions on income tax return, we give quite a bit directly to young adults who are struggling either temporarily or permanently. These young adults usually are friends or acquaintances of my children. Above list is in addition to political contributions to support candidates who support causes we support.

Bingo. Have you ever been asked by a host if you condone person Y being invited to an event? I have not, but as you said, bride-to-be may enjoy making drama. Did original poster confirm that relative was indeed her estranged son or are we still assuming? I do not know the details but find the whole thread confusing. I naturally assumed the wedding was planned for post-covid spring or summer. Covid was already a factor when Scarlett was invited to wedding but it was not mentioned as a reason to not attend until other posters pointed it out. Now, the original poster is "probably" not attending wedding due to Covid. I hope the bride has wonderful wedding with no spreading of covid. My BFF had a courthouse wedding yesterday. On their one year anniversary, they plan to have a large party for family and friends assuming covid will no longer be an issue. Time for me to bow out too.

I am grateful to still be employed during pandemic and happy that I had extra financial resources to help some of my adult children who suffered temporary unemployment. The autumn-hued trees are lovely right now and add some pleasure to my morning commute, which is less congested than pre-pandemic commute. Also grateful that my twenty year old cat continues to be in good health.

Ah, this puts a quite different perspective on the original post if this is indeed the case. My response is hold your breath, mask up and go. Invite son to your home or out for coffee afterwards and approach a reconciliation. By approach a reconciliation, I mean extend a sincere apology and, if necessary, fall down on your knees and beg for forgiveness without regard to who was right, wrong or in-between. Although I have no idea what source of estrangement was, it likely will all seem silly a decade or so from now. Of course, you can do this tomorrow instead of waiting until wedding. Best of luck in restoring relationship with son whether or not he is the relative that you prefer not to be around.

No, I do not expect an immediate or even a few hours response. Answer in a day or two. If I don't hear from person after couple days, I may call or assume that they are temporarily overwhelmed. I keep my cell phone in kitchen after I come home from work. I do not have the notification dings turned on because I do not want to have another reminder of something else I need to do.

I know. My example was another illustration of who-to-invite dilemma and how I decided to handle it. In your original post, you stated that you would "prefer to not have to deal with this relative" which I interpreted as you would prefer not to deal with relative so bow out.

No, based upon your description, I would not call this a quandary. Implicit in that statement is that I expect adults to behave with grace and maturity.

Person should invite whomever they want. What is puzzling me is why she thought she should seek out your approval before extending an invitation to the troublesome relative. What has the relative done that she is asking you before inviting relative? I would expect adults to behave appropriately. If I thought they couldn't or wouldn't, then they are not invited. Go if you wish. Stay home if you prefer Not sure why this is a quandary.

Life itself has no inherent purpose. To make life meaningful, you will need to do something that is meaningful to you. What causes are important enough to you to sacrifice time and energy on? You seem quite self-aware and adept at internal dialoguing to find these often elusive answers.

I would start by inquiring why the others kicked her out, whether she was violent and if they suspect any undiagnosed mental illness. If there are no looming issues there, I would discuss with foster case worker about seeking waiver to provide temporary shelter for her. When we were fostering but before intellectually disabled brother in law moved permanently to our area, we were allowed to host him as extended visitor. He would stay about three months. Thus, I would not automatically assume that case worker would frown upon providing shelter to a suffering person. Another alternative I suppose is for her to live on streets, and you could provide cash for food, blankets and warm clothing. This is what we are doing for a family friend on West Coast. I believe her about the shelters being full since same is true here. Food banks are overwhelmed here too. Do you have an old car she can live in or a shed in backyard? Either option is probably safer than the streets.

Bingo. Your list applies to virtually every social justice movement. Funny how once the goal is somewhat attained, no one in their right mind wants to go back to the old ways. I heard some of these objections as a child during Civil Rights Movement. By the way, I admired Kapernick taking a stand against police brutality regardless of what song being performed. If I recall correctly, Kapernick received a lukewarm apology about three years too late.

Only read last page of this thread, but I see part of it is about donations and how used. If anyone is concerned that BLM will not wisely use donations, one option is to donate to a 501c3 who has bail fund set up specifically for BLM arrests. Fortunately our community has a few organizations that support BLM. You can also directly donate medic supplies, water and snacks at the marches.

My city has dynamic BLM movement for city our size. We are not a major metropolitan area like NY, Chicago or LA. Our metro area has about 1.35 million people. With only a couple exceptions, the BLM marches are scheduled and coordinated by the black leaders of the movement and are coordinated with city to get any required permits etc. White people of course do attend but they usually are not main speakers or do not speak at all. When partner and I participate in marches, we stay near back. I noticed that other whites tend to do same by taking a position of support rather than leadership. I do not understand maligning white people even when they are majority of march attendees or leader of marches. Police brutality toward fellow humans is an issue that we can all support (I hope). As for how to participate in unity, frankly I have spent years structuring my life so it is relatively free of racists, fascists, and authoritarians; I am not referring to any particular political party here. I simply slowly disengage myself from them without any conflict. The more you let them talk as you nod your head, the more they reveal about their inner selves. The community work I have done is the sort that would not appeal to the kind of people I do not want to be around even though they benefit from it. So, Quill, I guess I do not feel an overriding duty to try to be a unifying force, especially at this time in my life. My intent is to surround myself with people of inner beauty for remainder of my time.

Good riddance. I am old enough to remember his interview with Barbara Walters regarding treatment of women and children. I have watched films starring actors I do not care for as long as they do reasonably good job. However, I've never been a fan of spy flicks and saw only one of the Bond movies on a date.

No, I would not report, but I would not patronize business.

Years ago my elderly cat developed a drooling issue. Vet was insistent that she had an electrical or caustic agent burn in her mouth. Treatment did not help. When she went back for followup, he had biopsy done. It was oral cancer. We had vet come to house couple weeks after that to put her down.

I would try to persuade her and the children to move in with me, and then we could work together on a long term plan for her to become self-sufficient to extent possible. Not a proponent of tough love except in very limited situations such as serious addiction issues.

Yes. I dress for my own comfort and assume others do same. I absolutely positively do not care if swimmers are scantily clad in bikinis, speedos, or ultra modest 1920s style swimwear or nude at clothing-optional beaches.