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annandatje

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Everything posted by annandatje

  1. Having worked in various breed and mutt rescues, I think lack of a safe fence will be a no-go. To abide by the rules, I have had to reject applicants who probably would have been good pet parents. Not sure what part of country you are in, but adopting dogs from rescue can be a daunting task. My middle daughter was turned down by a sheltie rescue in Pacific Northwest because her securely fenced back yard was not large enough even though their rescue site had no lot size requirements listed. She is a jogger and runner, so the dog would have ample exercise opportunities. Instead, she turned to a breeder for a sheltie. She now has a gorgeous fluffy sheltie who is quite fond of his cat housemates.
  2. It is hard to see people making decisions they will ultimately regret.
  3. I feel for you. In my 30s and 40s, I would have a dry hacking cough from throat tickle after ANY upper respiratory virus. Ominous things like bronchitis and pneumonia were ruled out. Rx cough syrup made me vomit. From there on out, I simply drank copious amounts of hot herbal tea and water and kept physical activity to a minimum. Also helps to sleep semi upright in recliner or extra pillows in bed. I would have coughing spasms so severe that I kept my time out in public to a minimum and kept office door closed at work and did not take client phone calls. In my 50s, I seemed to stop catching upper respiratory viruses 🙂
  4. In a former residence, we had a large healthy lovely magnolia tree on corner lot. Adult thieves delighted in stealing blooms and branches from the tree. It was a fairly common occurrence which I found bizarre since I had never offered cuttings to anyone.
  5. @Terabith I can commiserate with you since I, too, have an odd house. Mostly we have learned to ignore certain unexplainable happenings. I would be concerned about a water leak in carport, but if you are like us, you have already eliminated that possibility.
  6. My unmarried eldest does not enjoy being around children, so he has no desire to reproduce. He has a sweet cat as companion. Middle daughter just got married; her spouse would like to have two children. She is open to idea but has not offered any sort of timeframe. Middle daughter had a cat and d-i-l had two cats; they have added an adorable puppy to the mix. Unmarried youngest daughter is ambivalent about having children; I could easily see her not finding ideal long term romantic partner until she may be a tad too old to start reproducing. She has a gorgeous crystal blue-eyed seal point Himalayan cat. I will enjoy remainder of life with or without grandchildren and trust my children to make decisions that are right for them.
  7. I, too, got my 3rd dose of Pfizer yesterday (Monday) at my local Walgreens. Walgreens turned away two older ladies for their 3rd booster because they did NOT have any of the conditions listed on the form. Unfortunately I have two of the conditions/ongoing treatments listed on form. The ladies who did not qualify had hypertension and controlled diabetes. Same as with the first and second injections, I had no side effects.
  8. I am fully awake virtually immediately and always have been. Not a caffeine drinker.
  9. My son was the fifth case in his West Coast city in early March 2020. His covid symptoms and disease course sounds pretty much exactly like my son's. My son did recover although he had residual fatigue and slight cognitive impairments for a month or two afterward. I hope your son is as fortunate as mine was. Will keep my fingers crossed for him.
  10. At what point would I lock down again? We "locked down" again starting this past Saturday 7-24-2021. By that I mean we do not go out except for essential shopping and mask when we do. I have compensated end stage liver disease and radiation fibrosis damage that compromises immune system. I live in a slave state that sadly is laughingstock of nation. Predictably we have a low vax rate that is all too common among swath of red states in South. Our delta variant cases are increasing dramatically high rates while our governor talks out of both sides of his mouth; our mayor is more pro-active but thankfully stops short of being heavy-handed. However, municipalities are limited in what they can do about the issue. Last week I learned that two co-workers on our professional staff are not vaccinated. One cited wacky conspiracy theorist claims in addition to the usual "it's like the flu" spiel as source of her decision to not vaccinate. Since she seemed obsessively concerned with getting covid last year in early 2020 and was out over a week because she though she had it, I assumed she would get vaxed as soon as possible. The other co-worker stated that she was "waiting" although she did not elaborate upon exactly what conditions she was waiting for, nor did I ask. To clarify, I did not start the conversation, and hardly contributed to it. By the way, I advocate bodily autonomy, so I am not a supporter of general mandatory vaccinations. However, it is unfortunate that those two people in my office are comfortable with a personal decision that potentially endangers their elderly parents and other citizens. Makes me wonder how many in office are unvaxed, but I would NEVER ask.
  11. While I generally strongly agree with you, I believe that commitment to compatible life goals is important as physical compatibility. I stay out of my young adult children's sex lives; however, around puberty, I did reassure them that having sex outside marriage was a non-issue for us. Went on to explain that being sexually active requires exercising common sense such as using birth control and assessing potential emotional consequences.
  12. Such things bother me more than they should. I calm myself by remembering that the g when followed by i, e or y typically is a soft g (aka j sound). Re: shortening of dog breed names. Rottie for Rottweiler makes sense, but Sheltie for Shetland Sheepdog does NOT; it should be Shetlie, not Sheltie. I feel your pain 🙂
  13. It is possible for you to buy out your sibling's share of house at fair market value, perhaps discounted for lack of controlling interest or lack of marketability. However, as others have recommended, you may need an attorney's advice since state laws vary widely regarding real estate and probate court and to do the transfer paperwork and get new title recorded. Note that if house eventually sells for *more* than fair market value on date of death, sister will not be entitled to a share of the appreciation since she sold her interest prior to appreciation in value. Actually, as a person who deals with this stuff day in day out, wanting to liquidate the house is a practical decision, so I assume she is causing rift in other ways. Why do you and your other siblings want to maintain a non-income producing asset, assuming you are not converting it to a rental property? Not only would house not produce income, but you would have upkeep expenses such as taxes, insurance, utilities, lawncare and routine maintenance. Some clients choose to hang on to a home for a while due to emotional attachment, but realize that it comes at a price.
  14. I stopped at the number of children that I felt I had mental, emotional and financial resources to properly care for on my own should anything terrible happen to my husband. We had one less than originally planned. Both of us are lifelong atheists, so religion had no bearing on our choices.
  15. If self-labeling helps someone to not feel alone or simply to put into words what they are experiencing, I figure that trumps any minor annoyance I may feel. Two of my young adults legally changed their middle names. A daughter changed her middle name from her paternal grandmother's maiden name to paternal grandmother's first name. My son fortunately had a unisex name; he is transgender ftm, so he changed his middle name from my mother's first name to my husband's first name. I paid for the name changes since they were not self-sufficient financially at time of change.
  16. My husband and I oversee the care of intellectually disabled sibling who lived with us for several years after relatively early and unexpected death of his surviving parent before we found suitable placement in supervised housing. His IQ is in the 60-70 range. I will keep it short: I believe it is a reasonable choice given the circumstances and, that is about all I can say without invading his privacy.
  17. I should have taken up friends on their offers to clean house and pick up groceries. Instead, I decided to "save" their generosity in event that things went downhill from there. Unless you travel to help out, probably not much you can do being two hours away other than emotional support via phone, text or email. I am not minimizing emotional support from a distance; I did indeed find it a welcome relief.
  18. Do not comment or question their relationship. Let son know you love him and her and that you will always be there for him. If son expresses frustration re his marriage, respond with something non-controversial and non-judgmental like, "Relation problems are stressful. I hope that both of you find a way to work things out to your satisfaction. That must be difficult for *both* of you." If you get overly emotionally invested in his relationship, you may find yourself still angry or frustrated with daughter in law after the couple has already made up and moved on.
  19. This is not how it works. Executor is legally obligated to abide by terms of will; if he or she fails, the beneficiaries, including remaindermen, contingent and noncontingent, may sue executor. Based upon information you have provided, sounds likely that your father's wife has is a life estate in the house that is now owned 100% by your father's estate since father was sole owner prior to his death. In fact, your father may have set up a life estate purposefully to protect your half sister by making certain she receives proceeds from ultimate sale of house. Whether or not to sell house is not up to surviving spouse; under scenario presented, surviving spouse is not executor. I get impression that his estate is not large enough to justify legal fees to challenge will to include you as his child or as an additional beneficiary. For what it's worth, I think y'all should not challenge will or attempt to alter via nonjudicial settlement agreeement or whatever mechanisms his home state alllows for dealing with such issues. If your half sister wishes to gift you part of proceeds upon future sale of house, then she can give you whatever she considers your share at that time. Sounds like sister wants to be equitable with you, but understand that she is limited by terms of will. It says a lot about both you and your sister that were able to carve out sisterly relationship in spite of your father's denial of you.
  20. My gut reaction was not among choices. I consider them to be traitors. The USA won the Civil War so the former Confederacy reunited with USA. People can mourn and/or honor their dead ancestors without displaying flag. Definitely do not think Confederate flag should be flown over ANY government building, regardless of whether a city, state or federal building.
  21. A mastectomy was best gift we gave our transgender ftm child. Unfortunately he inherited my large breasts, which caused him discomfort both mentally and physically. Until his mastectomy, he bound his breasts which often caused soreness and irritation. His mental health was much improved by the mastectomy. I have had breast cancer too but my situation was not comparable to his even though I chose to keep my original breasts.
  22. I have a transgender (ftm) son in his early 30s. Fortunately as child, I briefly knew a girl who would have been diagnosed today as transgender. Thus, early on by preschooler age, I recognized some subtle and more blatant clues in my son. When I would attempt to explain to other mothers, they would blow it off as "being a tomboy" which it clearly was NOT. I stopped discussing the matter with people. Reading posts on this board about trans people is what drove me away for a number of years. I am encouraged by the acceptance and compassion that many extend to people these days who identify as LTBTQIA. My son has lived as male since age 15 although he did not begin hormone treatment until 18 and got mastectomy for college graduation gift. My just-married 30 year old daughter just announced that she is non-binary. Gee thanks, another newfangled term to learn 🙂 ; whatever became of gender-fluid? Again, there were signs throughout life that her gender flowed on a spectrum so no surprise there. Happily, she is married to a wonderful, compassionate, supportive, highly intelligent young lady. Since two of my children are trans and NB, naturally I know quite a few of their LTBTQIA friends, many of whom are like extended family members.
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