How Important is a Homeschooling Community?

[Shoes+Ships+SealingWax]

When my family moved to Asia three years ago, our intention was that the move would be, to some extent, temporary. Perhaps we’d be here 3 years, or 5 years, or even 7 years to gain residency rights - but not “foreverâ€.

 

My husband’s career has gone very well during our time here. He is home more, the equipment he works with is better, and his company is growing steadily. It appears likely that he will be given the opportunity to move into a management position. If this is he case, we will probably be staying MUCH longer... for all of DS’ homeschool education.

 

My concern is, homeschooling is rare here. There is a homeschooling community, but it is small & widely spread (1-2hrs travel time). There aren’t enough homeschoolers to support a co-op. Homeschoolers do not have access to public or international school extra-curriculars. We aren’t allowed to book the special classes at places like museums, the zoo, etc.

 

For now, it’s not a problem... but as DS gets older I worry about him not having enough social opportunities. I worry about myself not having an outside community to pull from when his ability outpaces what I am comfortable teaching him. I worry about not having access to community colleges, and about experiencing pushback trying to get him the kind of testing he will need to be accepted to a university.

 

What do you do when you’re in a “homeschooling desert�

 

Am I over-inflating the importance / impact of these things, or is this cause for real concern?

[Rosie_0801]

I think *some* community is important. I don't think it needs to be a homeschooling community.

 

1-2 hours drive for homeschooling activities is about normal for me, lol.

 

 

There are a lot of online classes these days. You probably wouldn't get that level of academic support from peers anyway. He's only small now. You might find school suits him better later on. Do what your family needs to do *now.* Anything could happen between now and high school. :)

[HomeAgain]

When my oldest was young, it didn't matter.  He had extra-curriculars and neighborhood friends, so it was fine.  High school was a different matter.  I saw my vibrant kid get moody and feeling stuck. He had no friends, nothing available except scouting for kids outside of school or highly religious co-ops.  That was the point we made the executive decision to send him to school.  He spent 3 years in a public high school before heading off to college and it was the best thing for him.

 

Do I regret homeschooling him?  No way.  He got so much out of it in the younger years.

Do I regret putting him in high school?  No way.  It was the right time for him and he got a lot from the experience: passionate teachers, close-knit classes, the ability to do DE and AP and push himself harder.

 

Take everything year by year.  When option 1 doesn't work, you know it's time to explore option 2 or 3.

[Shoes+Ships+SealingWax]

Take everything year by year. When option 1 doesn't work, you know it's time to explore option 2 or 3.

I’m not entirely sure what our options will be in regards to choosing schools down the road.

That’s what makes me so nervous...

 

I wouldn’t want to drop him into local schools at the secondary level. They are strictly Cantonese, and even with a tutor I doubt he’d be prepared. DH & I neither read Chinese nor speak Cantonese, so we couldn’t help. The international schools offer English instruction, but are extremely competitive (requiring interviews & entrance testing) and cost tens of thousands a year. It’s definitely something I will have to look into more closely.

[HomeAgain]

There's always option 3 - doing something where he has an online, live classroom or virtual co-op.  That was not an option we explored (mostly because cross-world moves would have had my kid up at all hours to meet with his class), but it could be something to look at down the road for you.

[regentrude]

Community is important, but it does not have to be specifically homeschoolers. 

You want connections, friends, playmates, be part of the larger community,  but you do not need homeschool co-ops or homeschool specific activities. It's nice if they happen, but it is perfectly possible to homeschool without those.

And there are lots of online resources to teach higher level classes you are not comfortable covering yourself. 

Edited February 21, 2018 by regentrude

[regentrude]

Reading further about your language issues: if you plan to be in a country long term and both parents are not fluent in the local language, I would reexamine the choice to homeschool. We are immigrants who speak a different language in the home, and sending our kids to school for a few years was important for them developing fluency in the local language. I do not know how we would have achieved this without the total immersion.

If your stay is temporary and all you need to do is prepare your kids for resuming education in an English speaking country, homeschooling in English might work. But if you plan to stay permanently, they risk remaining outsiders.

I would make learning Chinese the top priority for the kids.

Edited February 21, 2018 by regentrude

[SparklyUnicorn]

We haven't been able to find community among homeschoolers, but we do plenty with non homeschoolers. 

 

It kind of cracks me up because last week my 16 year old was talking to an IT recruiter (I happened to be there to hear what was being said, but was not part of the conversation).  He was very articulate and held his own well through all of her questioning.  I was impressed because he's not the most extroverted person.  They were just talking IT stuff.  So then she asked...so do you get together with other homeschoolers so you can get socialization?  Just like that..."so you can get socialization".  Like it's some sort of pill or food item.  LOL  So he said no, but went on and on about the various things he does do.  She was probably just making conversation, but gee come on.  Like homeschoolers are some special category of person who can "get socialization" only by talking to other homeschoolers?  On the contrary going by my experiences.  We were involve with groups when they were younger and we didn't always have very good experiences!

 

 

[Dmmetler]

A good one is helpful. A less good one, less so. In your case, I imagine the expat community will be more helpful than the homeschool one.

[OneStepAtATime]

Other posters make valid points.

1.   Can being isolated as your child ages be an issue?  Yes.  Absolutely.  If there is no place for your child to interact with and develop deeper relationships with "peers" that could definitely be an issue, even a crisis level issue.  Some kids need live weekly or even daily interaction with other people (and as they get older they need that interaction with someone other than a parent.)
2.  Does friendship have to come from other homeschoolers?  Heck no.  Nor does it have to come from exact peers.  My 13 year old's two best friends are a 16 year old and a 20 year old.  They are closer to his intellectual age.  In a school they would not be considered peers and yet they are essentially just that, and good friends.  What your child will need are friends.  That can come from many different places.  Maybe he develops some on-line friendships instead of locally.  Some kids do fine with that. Some need in person interaction, though.   If there are no places/activities where your child can meet and hang out with other people in a way where friendships can develop that CAN be an issue.
3.  If you and your husband are intending to stay for years but your child has no easy way to learn the language there and neither you or your husband have learned the local language, you are self-isolating him and you and your DH.  Your son needs language immersion and the sooner the better so he can actually speak and interact with others as he gets older.  That doesn't mean he has to be in a classroom but it does mean you may have to really work on some outside the box ideas.
4. Also keep in mind your own mental health.  How are you handling the situation?  Do you need other people on a regular basis?  If so, are you feeling isolated?  Can you handle that long term?  Some people do fine with just interacting with a spouse and child most of the time.  Others don't.  Your own mental health is also extremely important.  Keep that in mind.  Mental health should be valued and acknowledged as an important (I'd say critical) factor in decision making.  
5. All of that being said, there is no way to predict the future.  I agree with others, work on what the situation is right now while you sort of plan around the future.  Circumstances can change on a dime.  Hard to know what will really happen in a few years.  Options may change radically.  Work on your current circumstances.  Other options may present themselves further down the line.

ETA: Have you reached out to other expats?  Since you are talking 1 or 2 hour drives to find other homeschoolers, can you maybe find people (not just homeschoolers) willing to meet once or twice a month for something that the kids AND the parents could do?  Field trips?  Barbeque?  Board games?  Book clubs?  Driving 1 to 2 hours may be worth it to develop some friendships now while your son is young.  

Edited February 21, 2018 by OneStepAtATime

[regentrude]

ETA: Have you reached out to other expats?  Since you are talking 1 or 2 hour drives to find other homeschoolers, can you maybe find people (not just homeschoolers) willing to meet once or twice a month for something that the kids AND the parents could do?  Field trips?  Barbeque?  Board games?  Book clubs?  Driving 1 to 2 hours may be worth it to develop some friendships now while your son is young.  

 

And just for perspective: many people in my homeschool circle in the US drive routinely an hour for homeschool activities, and many people (not just homeschoolers) drive 2 hours for extracurriculars like sports or music lessons.

 

[J-rap]

I think a homeschooling community is nice and can be helpful, but it's not essential.  Children are raised in all sorts of different circumstances -- there's not one size.  But this is your children's childhood experience, and you want to make it as rich and life-giving as you can.  If you think you might be staying there long term, then you should live now as though you are.  I would begin working now on helping him learn the language there.  Perhaps hiring a language tutor would be a good place to start, for you too!  And you can work on it together at the dinner table every night.

 

Are there any English speaking groups around, with children?  I think some kind of a social group for him would be great, even if they're not homeschoolers.

 

If driving there is doable, I'd drive that hour or two once a month to meet up with a homeschool group.  (over time, you might want to do it more often)

 

You say there is no special homeschool access to museums, etc., but can you do that on your own?  I think that in the long-term, taking him out, exploring the community together, taking part in museums and other cultural activities is important.

 

Help him find hobbies and things that he can really delve into.  I  believe that over time, in order to be happy there, you're going to want to be able to immerse yourself more in the community, especially with your son.  Language will help him do that.  He'll also be able to join groups that have to do with his particular hobbies and interests, once he knows the language more.  

 

There are online homeschool communities nowadays.  A few of my children took a homeschool class or two online, and there were times when all of the students were "together" online.  It's a neat way of knowing you're not alone as a homeschoolerl.

 

There are also really great homeschool courses you can do online when you're ready for that.  So, if there are subjects you're uncomfortable teaching him, you can make sure he gets into a good quality course online.  If you're a resident still of a particular state, you can sometimes do it for free through programs they have.  In our state, you can even take online programs at colleges for free starting as a high school junior.

 

Anyway, those are the first thoughts that come to mind.  :) 

 

 

[...................]

Reading further about your language issues: if you plan to be in a country long term and both parents are not fluent in the local language, I would reexamine the choice to homeschool. We are immigrants who speak a different language in the home, and sending our kids to school for a few years was important for them developing fluency in the local language. I do not know how we would have achieved this without the total immersion.

If your stay is temporary and all you need to do is prepare your kids for resuming education in an English speaking country, homeschooling in English might work. But if you plan to stay permanently, they risk remaining outsiders.

I would make learning Chinese the top priority for the kids.

I agree. I think they need a sense of belonging where you are. I think they need to go to school to learn Cantonese and Chinese reading.

[Shoes+Ships+SealingWax]

Reading further about your language issues: if you plan to be in a country long term and both parents are not fluent in the local language, I would reexamine the choice to homeschool. We are immigrants who speak a different language in the home, and sending our kids to school for a few years was important for them developing fluency in the local language. I do not know how we would have achieved this without the total immersion.

If your stay is temporary and all you need to do is prepare your kids for resuming education in an English speaking country, homeschooling in English might work. But if you plan to stay permanently, they risk remaining outsiders.

I would make learning Chinese the top priority for the kids.

English and Cantonese are both official languages, however the local schools instruct in Cantonese. Locals are more commonly totally fluent in Cantonese however all students take English classes, all signs / announcements / contracts / public activities are in both languages, etc. Local schools may have to transition to Mandarin instruction soon; there is a lot of political pressure to do so. Edited February 21, 2018 by Expat_Mama_Shelli

[Shoes+Ships+SealingWax]

[*]If you and your husband are intending to stay for years but your child has no easy way to learn the language there and neither you or your husband have learned the local language, you are self-isolating him and you and your DH. Your son needs language immersion and the sooner the better so he can actually speak and interact with others as he gets older. That doesn't mean he has to be in a classroom but it does mean you may have to really work on some outside the box ideas.

 

...

 

ETA: Have you reached out to other expats? Since you are talking 1 or 2 hour drives to find other homeschoolers, can you maybe find people (not just homeschoolers) willing to meet once or twice a month for something that the kids AND the parents could do? Field trips? Barbeque? Board games? Book clubs? Driving 1 to 2 hours may be worth it to develop some friendships now while your son is young.

It’s only very recently that we have realized this “temporary career move†could very well morph into a permanent situation. English and Cantonese are both official languages, so our family can easily communicate with the vast majority of the community - it’s just that most native English speakers are expats, so public schools are in Cantonese.

 

DS is involved in twice-weekly soccer & weekly gymnastics, we schedule both play dates & field trips several times a month, he has a decent number of friends & sees them all with reasonable frequency. He is definitely not socially isolated... but it is something I worry about as he gets older because many friends he makes will inevitably move away.

[OneStepAtATime]

It’s only very recently that we have realized this “temporary career move†could very well morph into a permanent situation. English and Cantonese are both official languages, so our family can easily communicate with the vast majority of the community - it’s just that most native English speakers are expats, so public schools are in Cantonese.

 

DS is involved in twice-weekly soccer & weekly gymnastics, we schedule both play dates & field trips several times a month, he has a decent number of friends & sees them all with reasonable frequency. He is definitely not socially isolated... but it is something I worry about as he gets older because many friends he makes will inevitably move away.

Ah, o.k.  This is a very different scenario than your first post indicated.  I realize that this is a fairly limited form of communication and it is hard for us to get the full picture of your situation.  Sorry if I misunderstood.

 

With the additional information it seems you are mostly concerned about friendships ending because others move away?  And if having a homeschooling community is necessary to develop friendships if you are a homeschooler?

 

Friendships can survive moves.  Also if, as he gets older, you are able to provide him with time with other people that share his interests (not just in structured activities but time to just hang out and do stuff together without the structure) then it really won't matter if the person is another homeschooler (although that can sometimes help with flexibility of hours available it is NOT necessary).  Seriously, it isn't important that they be homeschoolers.  What matters is having time and opportunity to interact with other people, however they are/were educated. 

 

It sounds like right now your child gets quite a bit of time to do so.  As he gets older the nature of that interaction will change but even if friends move away he should be able to meet new friends and he may be able to stay in touch with old friends.  You just may need to get more creative in providing those opportunities.

 

As a military child I can say I moved all.the.time as a kid.  My two best friends from childhood and I met when I was 9/10.  Then I moved away.  Then one of them moved away.  I ended up living near one of them again for a bit (we went to college together for one year) then we didn't live near each other again ever.  She has lived all over the world.  She just returned to the states.  I drove 4 hours to see her.  We laughed and talked and are just as close as we ever were.  My other best friend I have only seen each other in person one time since I moved away because she moved all over too.  She and my other best friend were bridesmaids at my wedding.  I haven't seen her since.  We still stay in contact.  We are all still friends.  That friendship was forged as children and it is a strong bond.  I have friends from college that I am also still very close with even though I haven't lived near any of them in decades.  We still stay in touch and when time and opportunity present itself we drive/fly to see each other. 

 

DD has made friends with some of her on-line buddies.  And yes she and DS made friends with some homeschoolers when we had a homeschooling community (which sadly is defunct now).  But the important factor has not been whether they homeschool.  The important factor has been opportunity and compatible personalities.  

 

And FWIW, our homeschooling community was wonderful but the parents in that group ended up turning on each other.  It blew up spectacularly.  So did the two spin off groups.  Frankly, it was a nightmare and we would have been better off without them.

 

I agree with others, though, that I would still, if i were you, be actively working on helping your son get fluent in Cantonese.  That could be beneficial for a zillion different reasons, including friendships as he gets older.

 

Good luck and best wishes.

Edited February 21, 2018 by OneStepAtATime

[OneStepAtATime]

And just for perspective: many people in my homeschool circle in the US drive routinely an hour for homeschool activities, and many people (not just homeschoolers) drive 2 hours for extracurriculars like sports or music lessons.

 

Exactly. (although now that I reread my other post I'm not sure I made myself clear, LOL).

 

OP it actually isn't that bad.  We had some homeschoolers in our now defunct homeschooling group that would drive an hour and a half each way weekly sometimes biweekly to come to stuff our homeschooling group was doing.  We are pretty spread out here, too.  It would be nice, obviously, if you had homeschooled kids living within walking distance but that doesn't happen for most of us.  The main thing is thinking outside the box for ways to forge friendships and have opportunities to pursue areas of interest/passion.  

[...................]

English and Cantonese are both official languages, however the local schools instruct in Cantonese. Locals are more commonly totally fluent in Cantonese however all students take English classes, all signs / announcements / contracts / public activities are in both languages, etc. Local schools may have to transition to Mandarin instruction soon; there is a lot of political pressure to do so.

 

I guess it's different than I had at first thought.  In this case, speaking only English does not seem like it will really socially isolate your son.

 

However, I would be very sure that he also learned Cantonese somehow.  It seems to me that he may make this world his home.  When he grows up, if this is all he has ever known, he may choose to get educated, may find a wife, may marry and stay there. I think he will have a healthier sense of identity and belonging, if he learns the local language!   I would imagine, elementary school is the best time for this.  He could go when he is young, for two or three years, until he is fluent and then you can reassess the homeschooling.

 

Another option that may be available is Saturday School.  There may be an option for expats to enroll their children in school just to learn Cantonese or Mandarin. If he does all of his homework and attends regularly, as well as practicing when out in the community, he should be able to be fairly proficient by the time he's grown.  We have several friends here whose children attend Saturday School for Mandarin and they don't practice that much at home.  But, the kids generally get by when they go home to Asia once per year.  They're able to read signs and communicate with grandparents and cousins.  :)  

[Shoes+Ships+SealingWax]

Ah, o.k.  This is a very different scenario than your first post indicated.  I realize that this is a fairly limited form of communication and it is hard for us to get the full picture of your situation.  Sorry if I misunderstood.

 

 

 

I guess it's different than I had at first thought.  In this case, speaking only English does not seem like it will really socially isolate your son.

 

However, I would be very sure that he also learned Cantonese somehow.  It seems to me that he may make this world his home.  When he grows up, if this is all he has ever known, he may choose to get educated, may find a wife, may marry and stay there. I think he will have a healthier sense of identity and belonging, if he learns the local language!

 

I apologize for being unclear; the language situation is nuanced (& therefore a bit complicated). Thank you both for your patience & insight. I do plan to have him learn the language if we are staying here - even if it means hiring a private tutor - it simply isn’t something that was a major concern until now.

[LMD]

Could one of his friends from soccer or gym be a language tutor? Maybe, for example, Billy's dad could do a half hour tutoring session after soccer twice a week. That kind of situation will double up on language learning and connection making, with the added bonus of probably spending more social time with a friend.

Just throwing out an idea. It must be hard to get your head around such a big possibility!

[Arcadia]

For now, it’s not a problem... but as DS gets older I worry about him not having enough social opportunities. I worry about myself not having an outside community to pull from when his ability outpaces what I am comfortable teaching him. I worry about not having access to community colleges, and about experiencing pushback trying to get him the kind of testing he will need to be accepted to a university.

I don’t know which part of Asia you are in but Taiwan, Japan, Korea, Hong Kong, Malaysia, Indonesia and Singapore has such a strong afterschool culture that I won’t worry about his ability outpacing yours.

These countries would also accept GCE ‘A’ levels exams, AP exams and other exams for college admission and it is not hard to sit as a private candidate for those exams, no minimum age requirements.

 

Since you are likely in Hong Kong,

 

“HONG KONG (Reuters) - A nine-year-old mathematics prodigy has become Hong Kong’s youngest undergraduate, waltzing through his first day at university saying classes were too easy.

 

March Boedihardjo, a 9-year-old maths prodigy, attends a news conference in Hong Kong August 23, 2007, after he was admitted to the Hong Kong Baptist University. Boedihardjo has become Hong Kong's youngest undergraduate, waltzing through his first day at university saying classes were too easy.

 

March Boedihardjo, an Indonesian-Chinese boy resident in Hong Kong, was accepted by Hong Kong’s Baptist University to study for a master’s degree after gaining straight As in entrance A-level exams usually taken at 17 or 18.†https://www.reuters.com/article/us-hongkong-prodigy-odd/math-prodigy-9-says-university-too-easy-idUSHKG32898520070905

[sweetpea3829]

Lots of great advice given here.

 

Our situation is similar, in that our homeschooled kids are isolated because we live pretty rural, and NY does not allow integration within the public school for extracurricular activities.

 

Different, obviously, in that we are not dealing with a long term residency in another country, neither is there a language barrier.

 

That said, I do have to disagree a bit with some of the points made regarding travel distances.

 

My best friend lives only an hour away. Our husbands are besties, our children are besties, even our dogs LOVE each other. But we really only get to hang out a couple of times a year.

 

An hour is far. That's two hours of just travel time. It's really difficult to form, and maintain, friendships that are meaningful, when a large distance is involved.

 

Obviously it can be done. But the reality is, despite the fact that our kids have been best friends since the womb, during their formative teen years, they're not going to really be able to hang out.

 

Anyways, the point I'm getting at is that I've seen a number of home schooled kids in our church that have gotten lost in their teen years, if they were not part of a good, local peer group.

 

By that point, the ps kids have their cliques and the hs kids are seen as outsiders.

 

It can be quite isolating.

 

And again, those long distance groups are great and all, but I'd seek peer groups that are a little closer to home.

 

Just my own .02!

[lulalu]

Do you have the book Third Culture Kids? It has a long section on education. It really is a good book to have covering many areas of expat kid life.

 

We are homeschooling where there are no other hs. I know what you are thinking through.

Here are some other things to consider:

 

Shipping of curriculum for many years. For us it is cheaper to visit the states every other year. Seriously a plane ticket is cheaper. So consider if you have that budget to be able to do it.

 

Selling used curriculum. I can't sell a thing here so I had to send stuff back with family that visited and then donated it all. So that is a big cost too.

 

Enrichment classes (art, music, pe etc) cost us money.

 

Basically it comes down to our choice to hs is much much more expensive here than in the states. We have decided it is worth it as we are not comfortable with the local schools as religion is taught.

 

We have to compensate to make a peer group and that isn't the easiest.

[Laura Corin]

I understand the language difficulty.  When I was in the place where I assume you are, ancient cultural barriers made it difficult to learn Cantonese: I went to classes but very few people on the streets wanted to speak the language with me.

 

Most expat packages have international-schooling fees built into the contract.  If you are going to be there long-term, I would prioritise looking at your husband's contract again.  When I was there, not all the international schools had very competitive entry standards - there was one large group that was more relaxed.  Please PM me if you want to talk privately.

 

Back to your original question: as others have said, community doesn't have to be home education community.  When we moved to Scotland, we had little contact with home educators but the boys did a lot of activities where they mixed with other children: scouts, sports, chess, etc.

[Shoes+Ships+SealingWax]

Do you have the book Third Culture Kids? It has a long section on education. It really is a good book to have covering many areas of expat kid life.

 

We are homeschooling where there are no other hs. I know what you are thinking through.

Here are some other things to consider:

 

Shipping of curriculum for many years. For us it is cheaper to visit the states every other year. Seriously a plane ticket is cheaper. So consider if you have that budget to be able to do it.

 

Selling used curriculum. I can't sell a thing here so I had to send stuff back with family that visited and then donated it all. So that is a big cost too.

 

Enrichment classes (art, music, pe etc) cost us money.

 

Basically it comes down to our choice to hs is much much more expensive here than in the states. We have decided it is worth it as we are not comfortable with the local schools as religion is taught.

 

We have to compensate to make a peer group and that isn't the easiest.

I have read TCC. I’m an ACCK myself. Great book!

 

We’ve been fairly lucky regarding logistics. In the past we’ve returned to the US annually & brought back everything for the following year. Now his company has him traveling to the US several times a year.

 

I’ve been able to resell curriculum to (& occasionally even buy used from) a couple other HS families as they arrived or moved away. I can’t depend on the opportunity, but it’s a nice plus. Sports, music, languages, & camps will be pricey, but I would have paid for at least some of those things anyway.

 

It is definitely more expensive, but far less expensive than international school &, like you, we are not comfortable with the local schooling options.

[Shoes+Ships+SealingWax]

I understand the language difficulty. When I was in the place where I assume you are, ancient cultural barriers made it difficult to learn Cantonese: I went to classes but very few people on the streets wanted to speak the language with me.

Yes!! Even if we learn perfectly fluent Cantonese, locals will insist on speaking English to us. My son, despite growing up here from the age of 2, will always be a Westerner; an outsider.

 

Most expat packages have international-schooling fees built into the contract. If you are going to be there long-term, I would prioritise looking at your husband's contract again. When I was there, not all the international schools had very competitive entry standards - there was one large group that was more relaxed. Please PM me if you want to talk privately.

DH’s company is very firm on not including this. They recently began reimbursing a small amount, but it is a pittance. The group you are referring to is still easier to get into (not really a concern), but their fees have skyrocketed to nearly match the other international schools.

 

I’m sure I will figure all of this out, I’m just still reeling a bit. I had really expected we’d go back by the end of elementary school...

[Farrar]

Cantonese is so hard to learn. I also lived in that bit of the world for awhile and I didn't manage to learn hardly any Cantonese - I did improve my Mandarin though I was across the border so that makes some sense, but it was the same sort of thing on the mainland - people want to practice English with you if they know it and people were willing to speak Mandarin to me, but few wanted to speak Cantonese.

 

I can't quite imagine what I would do if I were there with my kids now... but I think I'd probably try to tap into some of the afterschool culture stuff, which is basically what people in the US do if there are no homeschoolers - they do scouts, 4H, karate, dance, soccer, etc. I would look for those experiences. Yeah, the language will be a barrier, though you might consider afterschool Mandarin or another language.

[SparklyUnicorn]

And just for perspective: many people in my homeschool circle in the US drive routinely an hour for homeschool activities, and many people (not just homeschoolers) drive 2 hours for extracurriculars like sports or music lessons.

 

 

Yeah I have to say that's not something I'm willing to do.  BUT I live in a city on purpose for this reason.  I do know of other homeschoolers who do a lot of driving though.

[Laura Corin]

Yes!! Even if we learn perfectly fluent Cantonese, locals will insist on speaking English to us. My son, despite growing up here from the age of 2, will always be a Westerner; an outsider.

 

 

DH’s company is very firm on not including this. They recently began reimbursing a small amount, but it is a pittance. The group you are referring to is still easier to get into (not really a concern), but their fees have skyrocketed to nearly match the other international schools.

 

I’m sure I will figure all of this out, I’m just still reeling a bit. I had really expected we’d go back by the end of elementary school...

What do your husband's colleagues do about schooling their children? If there are other expats. Edited February 22, 2018 by Laura Corin

[Shoes+Ships+SealingWax]

What do your husband's colleagues do about schooling their children? If there are other expats.

Most don’t have kids, or their kids are grown. Those who do pay out of pocket. We could make international school work, but for far less homeschooling allows us more time as a family, the flexibility to travel, & the ability to move as DS’ pace. Even factoring in tutors / lessons for language, music, sports, etc it is by far the more affordable option. If it gets to the point that we can no longer provide what DS needs socially, it is an option... but I would rather be proactive & find ways to ensure that homeschooling continues to work for us 🙂

[bigrockfarmwv]

Lots of great advice given here.

 

Our situation is similar, in that our homeschooled kids are isolated because we live pretty rural, and NY does not allow integration within the public school for extracurricular activities.

 

Different, obviously, in that we are not dealing with a long term residency in another country, neither is there a language barrier.

 

That said, I do have to disagree a bit with some of the points made regarding travel distances.

 

My best friend lives only an hour away. Our husbands are besties, our children are besties, even our dogs LOVE each other. But we really only get to hang out a couple of times a year.

 

An hour is far. That's two hours of just travel time. It's really difficult to form, and maintain, friendships that are meaningful, when a large distance is involved.

 

Obviously it can be done. But the reality is, despite the fact that our kids have been best friends since the womb, during their formative teen years, they're not going to really be able to hang out.

 

Anyways, the point I'm getting at is that I've seen a number of home schooled kids in our church that have gotten lost in their teen years, if they were not part of a good, local peer group.

 

By that point, the ps kids have their cliques and the hs kids are seen as outsiders.

 

It can be quite isolating.

 

And again, those long distance groups are great and all, but I'd seek peer groups that are a little closer to home.

 

Just my own .02!

 

We are in the same boat, except that we are living in very rural WV.  I feel the isolation daily.  We are doing ok now (my son is 8) but I worry about how it's all going to work out as he moves into his teens.  He has two buddies now (one who is down the road and one lives 45 minutes away) and I hope with all my heart that these friendships remain stable.

[sweetpea3829]

Our boys have each other, and they're only two years between the three of them. But even still, my oldest definitely wanted more guy pals than just his brothers, especially from age 8-10.

 

I think part of it had to do with the books he was reading at the time, which included Sugar Creek Gang, Tom Sawyer, etc. He wanted to have those boy gang experiences...and he actually WAS, it's just that, his "gang" was made up of his brothers, lol.

 

When we put them on the YMCA swim team, he began to make quite a few pals...and even though we don't get to hang out with them away from swim, swim team meets often enough that he is getting his social group needs met.

 

We're actually having our first sleepover next weekend (but the boy who is coming has to travel 45 minutes just to get here, lol).

 

I always said that I absolutely love living out here. I love our Mennonite neighbors, wide open fields, gorgeous views, and that our kids can have Tom Sawyer childhoods, complete with running barefoot through the swamp.

 

But if I could change anything, it would be to transplant our community to within 15 minutes of the city.

 

There are many homeschooling offerings all around us. Sports leagues, fencing, arts, drama, etc. But every single one of them is an hour+ away and I cannot afford to traipse all over NY Stare every single day.

 

So yeah, we feel that isolation rather acutely. And as soon as my kids hit 13, they will have no sports options aside from swim team. Because baseball, soccer, etc., all end at age 12.

 

That's when the real isolation kicks in.

[MedicMom]

It sounds like we live relatively close to each other.

 

There is just nothing here for homeschoolers unless you are a die hard CC fan, which I am not.

It was a huge factor in putting my oldest back in public school in January. He was so lonely, missed his friends and was jealous of his sister getting to see other kids. I just could not find homeschool activities that worked, and after school is all taken up with his youngest sibling’s extensive therapies.

 

I can commiserate. I think sometimes homeschoolers tend to dismiss socialization as important, but it really is.

 

 

Our boys have each other, and they're only two years between the three of them. But even still, my oldest definitely wanted more guy pals than just his brothers, especially from age 8-10.

 

I think part of it had to do with the books he was reading at the time, which included Sugar Creek Gang, Tom Sawyer, etc. He wanted to have those boy gang experiences...and he actually WAS, it's just that, his "gang" was made up of his brothers, lol.

 

When we put them on the YMCA swim team, he began to make quite a few pals...and even though we don't get to hang out with them away from swim, swim team meets often enough that he is getting his social group needs met.

 

We're actually having our first sleepover next weekend (but the boy who is coming has to travel 45 minutes just to get here, lol).

 

I always said that I absolutely love living out here. I love our Mennonite neighbors, wide open fields, gorgeous views, and that our kids can have Tom Sawyer childhoods, complete with running barefoot through the swamp.

 

But if I could change anything, it would be to transplant our community to within 15 minutes of the city.

 

There are many homeschooling offerings all around us. Sports leagues, fencing, arts, drama, etc. But every single one of them is an hour+ away and I cannot afford to traipse all over NY Stare every single day.

 

So yeah, we feel that isolation rather acutely. And as soon as my kids hit 13, they will have no sports options aside from swim team. Because baseball, soccer, etc., all end at age 12.

 

That's when the real isolation kicks in.