Cathy in IL Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 I do emergency care for children. Every case is different, but this one has to be the craziest, most frustrating one yet. First the mother signs a child into the program illegally. A day after she was placed with me we find out she no longer has custody of the child but had been visiting her for the weekend! Now only one of her children remains with me. She is supposed to be going back home, but the mother refuses to come to the agency to pick her up. We found a caseworker to drive the child home, but the mother moved this weekend won't call back with an address. Even with all the things I have seen with 50 other children I have cared for, this mother shocks me. She simply doesn't care about her children, and it is becoing increasingly obvious. I hope that soon this little child will have stability. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 How terribly sad :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Oh, my goodness, Cathy. That is unimaginable to me. Thank God she has you there to care for her - who knows what would happen to her otherwise?:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sleepy Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Oh Cathy, that is just inconceivable. Sweet little girl deserves so much better than that... :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 How heartbreaking for that poor little girl :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmsmama Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 That is sad :( Is this through CPS? Why does she still have custody of any of her children if she doesn't want them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cathy in IL Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 The problem is, this is a voluntary program. It is not through CPS/DCFS. They refused to take the case last year even though the child abuse doctor said there was clear evidence of abuse. It has been a nightmare and a developing drama for almost 2 years now. I could write volumes about it. Last year was so very heart-breaking to endure that I sought out therapy after it to deal with all the hurt. The child cannot remain in this program for a few reasons. First of all, this mother is not using the time away from her children to improve their situation. This little one could stay for months and then still have to return to a bad situation. This mom has had adoption presented as an option (there were 2 previous families who would still be willing to adopt), but she rejects that option too. To top it off, she has made death threats to the caseworkers. When she finally calls with an address or answers her phone when I call, she will be given a time for the child's return . If she isn't there, DCFS will have a reason to screen her into foster care. I hate to say that I hope she isn't there when they bring the child, but I think she would be better off in a foster home (provided they find a good one). I wish I could say she could just stay here, but I can't work with a mom as volatile and unpredictable as this one. I will advocate for the little girl, but there isn't much more I can do. I really detest the helpless feeling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamapjama Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 That is just unfathomable. How old is she? I hope she is not old enough to understand what her mother is doing. Thank goodness you are there for her! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Oh, that is so very very sad. I can't wrap my head around the idea of abandoning a child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 How very sad. My mother worked for something like that when I was growing up and we had 2 little girls abandoned on our door step with a note and no one could be contacted about who they belonged to, how long they were staying with us, nothing. My mother called a couple of neighbors to get some clothes and shoes for these little girls. A couple days later mother was called by the agency saying the girls mother had to go to the hospital and details of when and where to bring them back to the mother. I do not remember ever having kids come to our house again through that agency. It still stays in my mind 30years later how traumatic the situation was on my mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cathy in IL Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 She is five. I think she is aware of some of what is happening. She cried a lot last night wondering out loud how we would find her mommy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathy in MD Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Didn't this child's father call the agency when he discovered the child wasn't with her mother? Can the agency track him down via the phone company if he doesn't call again soon? I know the phone company used to pull phone records if needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie in AR Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 :grouphug: God bless you, Cathy, for the love and devotion you are providing to all these children. I can't imagine the emotional roller coaster this particular situation must be on a daily basis. I'll pray for stability for this young child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferdie Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 :grouphug: God bless you, Cathy, for the love and devotion you are providing to all these children. I can't imagine the emotional roller coaster this particular situation must be on a daily basis. I'll pray for stability for this young child. :iagree: Blessings to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewHomeSchoolMarm Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 DH and I looked into adoption several years ago and one agency suggested for us to apply to be in their foster parent program. We kindly said no, and went to adopt two daughters through another agency. DH and I were fearful of all that foster care would cost our families hearts and minds, and I respect and hold you in great honor for being an emergency home for such children. Blessings & Hugs, NHSM:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Didn't this child's father call the agency when he discovered the child wasn't with her mother? Can the agency track him down via the phone company if he doesn't call again soon? I know the phone company used to pull phone records if needed. I think that was the father of this child's half-sister. (Two girls were dropped off. The father of one of them called to find his daughter and picked her up.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 :grouphug:That poor kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cathy in IL Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 This one doesn't have a dad involved. Thanks for the prayers and encouragement. I have to leave the house soon for a doctors appt. for another child, so if she doesn't call I guess she is here at least another night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 This is heartbreaking. Janet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Cathy, this story just break my heart. I had a dream last night about what you have posted so far. Needless to say, it was not a pleasant dream. I am very rarely in favor of breaking up a family but I think that in this case it would be the best option. That child needs to be placed in a permanant and loving home. You are saint for the work that you do. My prayer are with you and this little girl. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Cathy, I'm so sorry :grouphug: What a sad situation. That poor baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathy in MD Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 This one doesn't have a dad involved. Thanks for the prayers and encouragement. I have to leave the house soon for a doctors appt. for another child, so if she doesn't call I guess she is here at least another night. Somehow I got the idea that the girl without an active father was ok to be in the system and would be staying with you permanently. Do you think the sister's father would be willing to adopt her? that might be a good solution. I'm hoping things will be resolved soon! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tricia Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Crazy, Crazy. What next. I'm sorry for her. Hope things work out soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emmsmama Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 So sad. I applaud you for what you do because I couldn't do it. I've thought of fostering, but it would be too hard on my heart to have to give up the little ones when they leave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravengal Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Perhaps this young woman cares enough about her child to know that she can no longer adequately care for her. It's wonderful that you are available to help this family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cathy in IL Posted April 15, 2009 Author Share Posted April 15, 2009 Yesterday the mother called. I told her that she needed to cooperate with the agency if she truly wanted her daughter. She managed to find a friend with a car because she absolutely refused to take the El. She met with a caseworker and left with her daughter. I am hoping and praying that she is okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Honestly, I would not LET the mother have the child back. No telling what she will do with her if/when she gets her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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