How can I make it easier for my dh to homeschool?

[Renee in NC]

We have both agreed that our top priority is NOT sending the dc to school. We need to raise our family income above the poverty level (about $41K) and obtain some kind of health insurance (even high deductible and not Medicaid/SCHIPS.) However, we need to do this without dh having to work 2 jobs (or more) as his interaction with the dc is just as important as mine. Therefore, I am looking for a job as well. (And see my frustration post to see how that is going!:tongue_smilie:)

 

That being said, we are going to have to share the other duties as well. The housework/cooking is no big deal - dh is just as good if not better than I at that. He takes care of the 2 month old with no problems and he has the help of the older ones to keep up with our tornado 2yo. That leaves homeschooling.

 

He can supervise workbook pages if I assign them. He can assist them if they don't understand, but he doesn't have a lot of patience. He could do read alouds and probably assist with projects. However, much of the curriculum I have is teacher intensive (and I don't have money to buy anything new, even if I wanted to.)

 

How can I break things down to make it easy for him to take on more of the teaching/facilitating? I want us to be successful at this and the best way is for me to break it down, schedule it, etc.

 

Dh is willing to do this, but we need some help figuring out how. He isn't really a teacher, but he really, really wants them to stay at home. He's willing to turn off the TV during the day even! (That was a problem several years ago.)

 

There isn't any subject that he would like to teach in particular, so I don't think dividing it up that way would work.

 

I don't want to save it for when I am not working as I hope to use that time for more outside interaction (field trips, cultural experiences, socialization, etc.) These are also not things he would do without me as they aren't important to him.

 

I don't want to use a self-directed curriculum like ACE either, as it doesn't offer what I want them to have (I have a ds who has used various PACES and is still using ACE math, so I have experience with it.)

 

There is not a virtual school in our state.

 

We have an 8yo ds with severe LDs.

 

All that being said - any ideas?

[Michelle in AL]

Have you taken a job yet? I've had to think about this scenario too as our finances are precarious at best.

 

Can you work afternoons or weekends so you can school? That's how I would do and then have hubby take over grocery shopping and the kids divide up the weekly cleaning. I would also have them cook dinner the nights I worked.

[Melinda in VT]

It might be easier to help if we knew the specific curriculum. And this is just for the 10, 7, and 6 yo, right?

[Catwoman]

It might be easier to help if we knew the specific curriculum. And this is just for the 10, 7, and 6 yo, right?

 

I was thinking the same thing. If I knew what you were using, I could probably give you some ideas. (They probably won't be great ideas; they might not even be good ideas, or even halfway decent ones, but they might be better than nothing! ;) )

 

Cat

[Renee in NC]

Have you taken a job yet? I've had to think about this scenario too as our finances are precarious at best.

 

Can you work afternoons or weekends so you can school? That's how I would do and then have hubby take over grocery shopping and the kids divide up the weekly cleaning. I would also have them cook dinner the nights I worked.

 

I am trying to figure this out. My experience is in bookkeeping and accounting, so I would make more during the day than I would working a evening/weekend retail job. Dh is likely to make the same wage regardless of when he works.

[TraceyS/FL]

Yup, have to know what you are using!

 

AND, how are the kids with learning from him? Willing? My middle one is very resistant to doing much with him. Mainly because he doesn't know her issues and it's just frustrating for her. I have tried over the last month to involve him more (so he can see what they do) - but she is just resistant to doing it with him.

[Catwoman]

I just wanted to add that I think it's wonderful, DramaQueen, that you and your dh are so committed to working together to achieve your goals, and that you're willing to go the extra mile to do what's best for your family.

 

It's so nice to hear about a family like yours; you're an inspiration!

 

Cat

 

PS. And not to nag or anything, but we still want to know what curriculum you're using! ;)

[Renee in NC]

It might be easier to help if we knew the specific curriculum. And this is just for the 10, 7, and 6 yo, right?

 

They're 11, 8, and 6 now. Add in my 4yo - I know, I know, she's only 4, she doesn't need anything, etc. However, just want to point out that she is more advanced than her 8 and 6yo brothers, so it seems a shame to hold her back because she is 4, KWIM?

 

Do you want to know what they ARE using or what they need to be doing?:001_huh: We're still...reeling...from the past 6-9 months and some days all we can do is stay upright, KWIM? We have to get back to some semblence of normal, though.

 

So, if you had dc the ages of mine, with an 8yo who hadn't mastered K level skills yet and a 4yo ready to read and do the rest at a 1st grade level, what would you do?

 

Basically we have TWTM recommended curriculum for Year 1 Grammar and Logic stages. My 11yo and 8yo are using Spell to Write and Read (the 8yo is using "I See Sam" as well.)

 

My 11yo is "catching up" so that he can move onto the Logic stage curriculum. He isn't writing much of anything yet. He does NOT want to learn Latin, so I bought him Spanish for Children A last fall but we haven't gotten around to using it. He is doing FLL 3 at an accelerated rate and Writing Skills A so that he can go onto Seton 5 English and a writing program of some sort.

 

My 8yo takes a long, long time to learn anything. I need to have him tested through the school district, but haven't done it yet. He is still on a K level in all subjects. He likes to be read to, but isn't likely to be reading anytime soon.

 

The 6yo is working through the Rod and Staff Preschool workbooks. He is still in book A. He would be in K this year, but he is still pretty immature. He doesn't have the phonemic awareness to read yet. He needs to keep working on his Pre-K and K level skills.

 

The 4yo is almost done with the R & S Preschool books and wants to learn to read. She's pretty tired of waiting on me.:tongue_smilie::tongue_smilie: I got her the Sonlight "I Can Read" books and that and OPGTR will probably be plenty. I have Singapore Math 1A for her as soon as she finishes the R & S books.

[Renee in NC]

I just wanted to add that I think it's wonderful, DramaQueen, that you and your dh are so committed to working together to achieve your goals, and that you're willing to go the extra mile to do what's best for your family.

 

It's so nice to hear about a family like yours; you're an inspiration!

 

Cat

 

PS. And not to nag or anything, but we still want to know what curriculum you're using! ;)

 

Well, most times dh is being drug behind me kicking and screaming to be honest.:D However, he *is* commited to homeschooling.

 

Trust me, he would much rather work 8-5, earn enough to support his family, and have me stay home taking care of the house and dc. Unfortunately, this isn't realistic for our circumstances and this is the next best thing.

[Erica in PA]

We have both agreed that our top priority is NOT sending the dc to school. We need to raise our family income above the poverty level (about $41K) and obtain some kind of health insurance (even high deductible and not Medicaid/SCHIPS.) However, we need to do this without dh having to work 2 jobs (or more) as his interaction with the dc is just as important as mine. Therefore, I am looking for a job as well. (And see my frustration post to see how that is going!:tongue_smilie:)

 

That being said, we are going to have to share the other duties as well. The housework/cooking is no big deal - dh is just as good if not better than I at that. He takes care of the 2 month old with no problems and he has the help of the older ones to keep up with our tornado 2yo. That leaves homeschooling.

 

He can supervise workbook pages if I assign them. He can assist them if they don't understand, but he doesn't have a lot of patience. He could do read alouds and probably assist with projects. However, much of the curriculum I have is teacher intensive (and I don't have money to buy anything new, even if I wanted to.)

 

How can I break things down to make it easy for him to take on more of the teaching/facilitating? I want us to be successful at this and the best way is for me to break it down, schedule it, etc.

 

Dh is willing to do this, but we need some help figuring out how. He isn't really a teacher, but he really, really wants them to stay at home. He's willing to turn off the TV during the day even! (That was a problem several years ago.)

 

There isn't any subject that he would like to teach in particular, so I don't think dividing it up that way would work.

 

I don't want to save it for when I am not working as I hope to use that time for more outside interaction (field trips, cultural experiences, socialization, etc.) These are also not things he would do without me as they aren't important to him.

 

I don't want to use a self-directed curriculum like ACE either, as it doesn't offer what I want them to have (I have a ds who has used various PACES and is still using ACE math, so I have experience with it.)

 

There is not a virtual school in our state.

 

We have an 8yo ds with severe LDs.

 

All that being said - any ideas?

 

In that situation, I would probably try to work things out so that I could still be the dc's primary teacher. If you work evenings, you could homeschool during the morning hours. If you work full days, that would be a little trickier, but maybe you could teach lessons in the evenings, and then the following morning the dc could do the related work, with dh supervising? That way he wouldn't have to do the actual instruction, and could just oversee them as they work.

 

I did want to address one thing you said, from a different perspective... you said that you didn't want dh to work two jobs because his interaction with the dc was just as important as yours. While I agree that dc need their father's interaction just as much as they need a mother, I don't think it's necessarily true that a decision for a father to work two jobs negates that fact. Sometimes it just makes more sense for the father to work two jobs, than for both to work full-time and divide up the household responsibilities.

 

Homeschooling wouldn't be the way my husband would want to spend time with our dc, for example. In our family, when additional income is needed, it would more sense for dh to work two jobs while I take care of pretty much everything at home, so that any time he is here he can enjoy spending time with us without any other responsibilities, than to work a full-time job and then come home and teach the dc and take care of the house while I go to work. Both ways require sacrifice, and both can work, but I just wanted to point out that doing it the way we do does not mean that dh is not important to our kids-- actually it's because his time with the kids is so important that I would rather not have it taken up with household/homeschooling stuff, especially when that is not his strength, and it is mine, kwim?

[Stacia]

Have you looked at the threads (here & on the Five in a Row boards) about workboxes?

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=86460

 

Maybe something like this system would give the needed structure? The link I gave has quite a few posts, plus links to other sites. I've read a ton about them (deciding whether or not to implement them here at home) & it seems like it might fit for you.... Rather than buying things, you could modify it & set it up based on things you already have.

[Renee in NC]

I did want to address one thing you said, from a different perspective... you said that you didn't want dh to work two jobs because his interaction with the dc was just as important as yours. While I agree that dc need their father's interaction just as much as they need a mother, I don't think it's necessarily true that a decision for a father to work two jobs negates that fact. Sometimes it just makes more sense for the father to work two jobs, than for both to work full-time and divide up the household responsibilities.

 

Homeschooling wouldn't be the way my husband would want to spend time with our dc, for example. In our family, when additional income is needed, it would more sense for dh to work two jobs while I take care of pretty much everything at home, so that any time he is here he can enjoy spending time with us without any other responsibilities, than to work a full-time job and then come home and teach the dc and take care of the house while I go to work. Both ways require sacrifice, and both can work, but I just wanted to point out that doing it the way we do does not mean that dh is not important to our kids-- actually it's because his time with the kids is so important that I would rather not have it taken up with household/homeschooling stuff, especially when that is not his strength, and it is mine, kwim?

 

 

I agree with you. However, my dh would have to work 2 full-time jobs in order to make the $41K per year that we have as our goal. He wouldn't ever be home and eventually he would burn out. So in our case it would mean removing him from our dc's lives for the most part. If dh had the capacity to earn $30-35K per year and we needed just a little extra, then I could see it.

[brehon]

My dh retired retired in January while I still work full-time (as a paramedic, so I work 24 hrs on/48 hrs off, usually). I have 2 kiddos actually "doing school". I write out a specific weekly schedule for each kid on either Saturday or Sunday (which ever day I'm not on duty). So, math might be: RS B - lesson 15: need [which ever manipulatives, etc are required for that lesson] or Singapore TB (text book) - pp23-24; WB (workbook) - Ex. 12; etc, etc, etc. I use one of the printable ones from Donna Young's site.

 

Then I put each child's work into a 1" binder separated by day (obviously :tongue_smilie:). On the days I'm on duty, dh looks at the lesson plans and the work and then works w/each child. My 2 dc are 7 and almost 6; so, not quite as old as your olders. The younger 2 kids (4 and 2) entertain themselves in various parentally approved (and sometimes unapproved) ways. The only subject my dh won't teach is Latin; so, I make up drill sheets for those days (i.e. a declension and/or conjugation of one of his vocabulary words).

 

Oops, speaking of on-duty....duty calls...I'll come back later...

 

OK, medical alarm, we're cancelled...

 

Anywho - hmm...what was I saying...oh, yes. Between the weekly schedule (and these are pretty specific for each subject each day) and the weekly binders for each child's work, he does really quite well. He also will read their history and science to them on those days they're scheduled. I would probably have him ease into homeschooling as you ease your children back into a routine/schedule. Figure out what's most important to you (in my house math, Latin, phonics/reading, copywork are done everyday; the rest is gravy) and start with that. Let your dh start learning how to be a teacher while you're there so you can direct (him or kids) as needed. Good Luck with everything!

Edited March 25, 2009 by brehon

[Jean in Newcastle]

I think that the following would make it easier for my husband: (take what might fit for yours):

 

1. Have a daily schedule made out for each child. Pencil in basic start times if that would help him.

 

2. Start with a schedule of what you are doing right now. Let him get that down first. Then add on. (Remember your dh will be a first-time homeschooler and so he will need to ease into it just as many of us did).

 

3. If your 11 is able - have him or start to move him toward taking responsibility for his own schedule. He would read the schedule you printed out for him and would cross off each items as he does it. He would be responsible for going to your dh as he has a question (or setting an appt. with him to go over a difficult part).

 

4. Make the schedule so that as much as possible only one child needs intensive teaching at that time. For example - if your 8 year old needs a teacher right beside him for reading, make sure that the 11 year old is doing something more independent at that time.

 

5. Make your 4 year old's schedule as manageable as possible for your dh. At first make it stimulating but non academic - or non teacher intensive. Get books on tape, activity books, puzzles, educational videos. Our library has "Kindergarten boxes" that have books on a topic (like dinosaurs), a video or music CD and often a related toy.

 

That's all I can come up with off the top of my head.

[Renee in NC]

Thanks for the ideas, Jean.

 

I like the K level boxes for my 6yo - he would love those! My 4yo wants academics. She brings her school books to me all the time wanting to do more. I really just need to teach her to read - that's what she wants. She wants to move on to the next set of workbooks.

 

I think my 11yo could handle his own schedule as long as he was held accountable for his work.

 

The 8yo is the biggie - dh cannot teach him. It is very, very difficult to have a child finally get something on one page and then forget it by the time he gets to the next page. Maybe something like the K level boxes you are talking about for him and I can do his intensive 1 on 1 tutoring?

 

My dh had actually suggested unit studies at one point rather than classical education. He doesn't "get" classical, but it isn't a hill I am willing to die on anyway.

 

If I teach my 4yo to read, she'd probably read TWTM herself and implement her own classical education! :roflol:

[HSMom2One]

In that situation, I would probably try to work things out so that I could still be the dc's primary teacher. If you work evenings, you could homeschool during the morning hours. If you work full days, that would be a little trickier, but maybe you could teach lessons in the evenings, and then the following morning the dc could do the related work, with dh supervising? That way he wouldn't have to do the actual instruction, and could just oversee them as they work.

 

I did want to address one thing you said, from a different perspective... you said that you didn't want dh to work two jobs because his interaction with the dc was just as important as yours. While I agree that dc need their father's interaction just as much as they need a mother, I don't think it's necessarily true that a decision for a father to work two jobs negates that fact. Sometimes it just makes more sense for the father to work two jobs, than for both to work full-time and divide up the household responsibilities.

 

Homeschooling wouldn't be the way my husband would want to spend time with our dc, for example. In our family, when additional income is needed, it would more sense for dh to work two jobs while I take care of pretty much everything at home, so that any time he is here he can enjoy spending time with us without any other responsibilities, than to work a full-time job and then come home and teach the dc and take care of the house while I go to work. Both ways require sacrifice, and both can work, but I just wanted to point out that doing it the way we do does not mean that dh is not important to our kids-- actually it's because his time with the kids is so important that I would rather not have it taken up with household/homeschooling stuff, especially when that is not his strength, and it is mine, kwim?

 

I think these are very, very good points. Erica has said it far better than I could and I completely agree with her.

 

Also, sharing the teaching is hard enough when you plan to do so at the beginning of the year -- or even at the beginning of the whole hs experience. Switching gears midstream when the children are used to mom being the main teacher would be hard on the whole family. And if daddy gets frustrated, the children will also be frustrated and discouraged.

 

As others have said, if it just isn't possible for dh to find another job and you need to join the workforce, then working evenings would allow you to continue being the lead teacher. Have you considered working from home? I know that has it's challenges too -- especially with small children, but maybe if you shut yourself away in another room while dh is home....(?) Some companies allow bookkeepers/accountants to telecommute and the work could be done in the evening. I read about this awhile back and the article stated that you may have to work days for awhile and build a relationship with your employer first.

 

Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best. You and your dh are miles ahead of many other couples in the way you are making a joint commitment. I really admire that!

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[LNC]

If you use Christian Light for math, lang. arts and reading the children are taught to check their own work using answer keys daily and parents grade lightunit quizzes (2 per light unit) and light unit test.

[Renee in NC]

I think these are very, very good points. Erica has said it far better than I could and I completely agree with her.

 

Also, sharing the teaching is hard enough when you plan to do so at the beginning of the year -- or even at the beginning of the whole hs experience. Switching gears midstream when the children are used to mom being the main teacher would be hard on the whole family. And if daddy gets frustrated, the children will also be frustrated and discouraged.

 

As others have said, if it just isn't possible for dh to find another job and you need to join the workforce, then working evenings would allow you to continue being the lead teacher. Have you considered working from home? I know that has it's challenges too -- especially with small children, but maybe if you shut yourself away in another room while dh is home....(?) Some companies allow bookkeepers/accountants to telecommute and the work could be done in the evening. I read about this awhile back and the article stated that you may have to work days for awhile and build a relationship with your employer first.

 

Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best. You and your dh are miles ahead of many other couples in the way you are making a joint commitment. I really admire that!

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

 

I can't work from home - I've tried that before and I simply made too many mistakes. I am easily distractable and shutting myself in a room won't help - you can hear EVERYTHING in the trailer we live in!:lol: Even the telecommuting work I will be doing starting in April will be from the library - I just can't work with young children around.

 

What my dc are used to is being with Dad pretty much all the time. Other than 4.5 months in 2007, they have been mostly with Dad at work, home, where ever since August 2005. We had our farm work, we ran a chicken plant, we had our business - during all that the ones that were old enough were with us. Having Dad gone 65 hours a week would be more upsetting for them and the 80 hours plus commute that he would have to work to support us would be just plain terrible (for them and me!) They don't miss me near as much when I am gone!:tongue_smilie:

 

I do realize the limitations of dh teaching them as well, since the homeschooling (other than a little help with a concept here and there) has been my domain. I think there is a middle ground somewhere in there.

 

Thanks for all the ideas!

[Melinda in VT]

I think Jean's suggestions were great.

 

You might also consider splitting up working with different kids on similar subjects with something very different. Hmm. That's not very clear. What I mean is not to have him work with the 10 on math, then the 8yo on math, then the 6yo on math . . . Work with one child on math, then another child on reading. I know when I was teaching my twins to read if I gave them their lessons back to back (I taught them separately to avoid comparisons) by the end of the second lesson I wanted to poke my eyes out. I did not have enough patience for two 100EZ lessons in a row.:tongue_smilie:

 

I also think readalouds are great for these ages. Do you have a good library system? I'd try to go as a family and load up on history, science, fairy tales, myths, etc. Then give him a list of books to read each day (if he'd like that) or just them easily accessible.

[Rosie_0801]

Maybe your hubby needs to spend some time observing your schooling? A bit like a student teacher, lol. That way he can get a feel for how to do what needs to be done.

 

:grouphug:

Rosie

[Catwoman]

You've already gotten lots of excellent ideas, but I was wondering if your 4 yo would like some of the "Comprehensive Curriculum"-type workbooks that you can buy at BJs, Costco, and Sam's Club for between 5.99 and 9.99 each. They come in all levels, from preschool up to around 6th grade, and they cover -- theoretically, at least -- a complete curriculum in each book. There are also specialized workbooks for things like handwriting, math, and reading, which might be a lot of fun for your little dd, because they are very colorful and user-friendly, and she sounds so smart that she could probably work with many of the books on her own. I was thinking she would probably feel like a "big kid" with her own textbooks.

 

My only other suggestion would be to take it nice and slowly for a while, until your dh gets used to being Mr Homeschool Guy. It sounds like your 11yo may be able to work quite independently, but your youngers will need more attention, so how about paring things down to the very basics, like phonics/reading, handwriting, and simple math? You could include some read-alouds for fun, but I wouldn't stress about anything else -- including worrying about which WTM stage everyone should be in. You've simply got too much on your plate right now, and if you keep it very simple, your dc will probably end up learning more than if you and your dh try to spread yourselves too thin.

 

I'm not just saying this for the kids' sake; it's also for your own happiness and sanity. If you keep the school days short, you and your dh will have more time to relax and do fun things with the kids, instead of stressing over keeping to a full schedule.

 

Ok, now take a deep breath and try to remain calm... :tongue_smilie:

 

Cat

[Renee in NC]

Thanks for all the ideas!

 

I spoke to dh again to make sure he and were really on the same page and he agreed with my summary of things here.

 

Hopefully this will not be for very long - we both hope that things will go back to "normal" sometime soon.

[cathmom]

 

You might also consider splitting up working with different kids on similar subjects with something very different. Hmm. That's not very clear. What I mean is not to have him work with the 10 on math, then the 8yo on math, then the 6yo on math . . . Work with one child on math, then another child on reading. I know when I was teaching my twins to read if I gave them their lessons back to back (I taught them separately to avoid comparisons) by the end of the second lesson I wanted to poke my eyes out. I did not have enough patience for two 100EZ lessons in a row.:tongue_smilie:

 

 

 

I will keep this in mind for the future!

 

You guys have given her lots of great ideas! DQ, I just saw that our homeschool group is doing a preschool activity bag swap. You might want to participate, because it sounds like the three around K age might like them. You could give each a different one or two each day, or something like that.

[Peela]

My dh had actually suggested unit studies at one point rather than classical education. He doesn't "get" classical, but it isn't a hill I am willing to die on anyway.

 

 

If it were me, and I was having to compromise for the bigger picture, I would pay a lot of attention to what Dh says and the way he would feel best working. When I have gone away for periods of time and left the kids with Dh, he doesnt want to follow what I have left for them. He gets them to watch documentaries and then write essays on them! Of course that is only a short term thing- a week at a time here and there- amazingly though they usualyl produce amazing essays. But if I had to work and dh were going to take over, I would have to let go of the classical ideals and see how dh wanted to work. If he is thinking unit studies, maybe that is what WOULD work for him best, KWIM? That way he could have all the kids together. You could do history and/or science that way- and perhaps leave the other academics to you?

ANother possibility is to use something like Ambleside and bunch the kids together. Its free.

I know the sticking point for my dh would be the tedious work of goign through workbooks through my kids- it just wouldn't happen. Maybe your dh would be different though. I would think at the least, a timetable for each child AND one for him would be essential- unless you just assigned to him some subjects he could do with all the kids together (nature study, foreign language, read alouds related to any subject, Shakespeare -Lamb's Tales, science experiments, art, so many possibilities). Then you could do the bookwork. I find our bookwork only takes about one third of our day. Another third is independent reading. The other third is our together work- read alouds and discussions.

 

I really feel for you though, having to go out and work with such young kids. I think I would try and downsize, work to an incredibly strict budget, grow a vegetable garden, before goign out and working. And remember that working has it's own extra expenses.

[ElizabethB]

I would have your 8, 6, and 4 year old watch my phonics lessons. When it gets to a rule or they stop paying attention, have your husband pause the movie and ask them to sound out the words or ask them to tell him the rule. I would do one a day during the school week until they finish. If he needs to, have your 8 year old watch them through 10 times until it finally clicks. I have a 5th grade student who has watched them 3 times already!

 

They can also play my phonics concentration game together, your husband or 11 year old can run the game:

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Phonics/concentrationgam.html

[Renee in NC]

I really feel for you though, having to go out and work with such young kids. I think I would try and downsize, work to an incredibly strict budget, grow a vegetable garden, before goign out and working. And remember that working has it's own extra expenses.

 

Definately! We are living on about $1200 a month right now, which isn't even close to reasonable for a family of 9, even with assistance. We have gotten rid of everything extra accept cell phones - no internet, satellite, etc. We don't even have a land line and the cell phone bill is split between us and my father (he has 2 phones on our plan.) Even so, our bills are more than our income and there are bills we aren't even currently paying.

 

For anyone else reading this, though, DEFINATELY make sure that it is worth going out to work and that you can't "net" the same amount by being more frugal.