swellmomma Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Holy moly, watched this movie last night, it mirrored a lot of my 1st marriage it was scary. What a powerful message it is sending. Has anyone else watched this movie? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizzyBee Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I really liked it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura R (FL) Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I really enjoyed the movie, too! The message was great, acting...eh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 And old guy at church gave it to my husband today - not because he's worried about our marriage but because my DH is a divorce attorney. Anyway, when the old guy at church really wants you to watch a movie, you feel like you have to watch it out of respect and then say, "Hey, Ed, thanks for the great movie!" But for some reason, I am dreading it. It looks insipid to me. Maybe I will be pleasantly surprised, but a whole movie about marriage sounds kind of boring! Did you actually enjoy watching it? Can you give me hope? I guess I can always "watch" it with DH while I knit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillary in KS Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 We watched it and loved it. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindyg Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 It looks insipid to me. They played a preview at our church. It didn't look insipid to me. It looked close to home and gripping. I was ready to cry just watching the preview. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prairie~Phlox Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 We love it too, I bought it and have watched it a few times. Yeah, the acting is a bit cheesy, but it was better than Flywheel & Facing the Giants and sends a great message. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillary in KS Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 And old guy at church gave it to my husband today - not because he's worried about our marriage but because my DH is a divorce attorney. Anyway, when the old guy at church really wants you to watch a movie, you feel like you have to watch it out of respect and then say, "Hey, Ed, thanks for the great movie!" But for some reason, I am dreading it. It looks insipid to me. Maybe I will be pleasantly surprised, but a whole movie about marriage sounds kind of boring! Did you actually enjoy watching it? Can you give me hope? I guess I can always "watch" it with DH while I knit. I didn't want to see it, because I did NOT like "Facing the Giants" and "Flywheel." I dreaded it as well. But I was surprised by how much I liked it. Is it Oscar-worthy? No. Is it going to be in my top 10 films? No. It's a movie made by amateurs, so there are a couple of areas where the acting and the script could be improved. But those were infrequent enough that I could let that go and enjoy the film. I thought it was realistic in that both people in the couple thought that the problem was the OTHER person. Yet as the viewer, you could see where they both contributed to the problems in the relationship. The movie has the Kirk Cameron person focus on HIS contributions. It's a *bit* preachy, but no more heavy-handed than a Lifetime Movie of the Week. Try and enjoy it. Dh and I have a good marriage (at least, WE think so) and we each liked the movie and it spurred us to have a couple of good conversations. In the end, if I am faced with a choice between watching "Fireproof" or "The English Patient" , I know without hesitation which one I would choose. it isn't. even. close. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest janainaz Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I didn't really care for it. I don't like the concept behind someone doing a series of steps to change behavior and then all of a sudden a marriage is all hearts and roses. So what happens if the guy starts not being so great again or vice versa - will the marriage end up on the brinks of divorce again? My dh and I know couples who are doing the "love dare" from the movie and unless someone deeply desires to change in their own heart, not for the other person, it seems ingenuine. There is a lady in our small group who bought the Love Dare book FOR her husband. We also have a friend whose wife left him and he saw the movie and wanted to do the love dare. He had the impression he could go do a bunch of steps and win her back. His desire for change needed to come from his own heart and it's not something that can take place over a month and a half. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted February 22, 2009 Author Share Posted February 22, 2009 I don't think a marriage is saved in only 40 days, as he said in the movie he was on day 43 and wasn't going to stop. It is a work in progress at all times, if either of the people in the marriage focus more on themselves than on their partner it will not work. I think the idea though is to stop focusing on everything you think your spouse is doing wrong and do something with your own actions that is positive, whether you think they deserve it or not. If the people in the marriage focused on each other and not be selfish or focused on worldly things than they would not be at the brink of divorce to begin with. Will it be all sunshine and roses nope despite what the movie showed but I do think that someone can change themselves and the negativity they are bringing to the relationship in 40 days definitely. It hit home very much for me, The way the wife behaved was very much how I was in my marriage including turning to someone else for attention when my husband spent 8+ hours a day looking at porn on the computer. We had other issues as well, not just money/porn etc but it really was hard hitting. I had been doing many of the things they showed from the love dare trying to save my marriage near the end without even knowing about the love dare, I was just trying to change my own actions. However, my case was not a happy ending like the movie, by the time I hit what would ave been that difficult middle period, instead of him seeing the effort I was making, he got angry and hit me. I stopped trying at that point and we split 2 weeks later. I think the fact I watched this movie just a week away from the 9 year anniversary of the day we split didn't help. Even though we are still legally married, even if he went out and got the book and took the steps it would not be enough to put this marriage back together after all the hurt in the marriage and now this long separation. I really enjoyed the movie, it had an "afterschool special" feel to the production and script but overall I think it has a lot of merit. I think it is a must see for all married couples whether they are having problems or not. After all it is very easy to slip into taking your partner for granted, and turning to worldly things and from there it is a slippery slope towards a failed marriage. Having that reminder to take the time to focus on your spouse each day in some little way, makes all the difference between simply going through the motions in your marriage and truely making it rock of your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle My Bell Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I don't really agree that the movie is giving 40 steps to a healthy marriage. I believe its message was to show that Christ is the one who changes people, Christ is the one who saves marriages. Kirk Cameron's character didn't get anywhere with his 40 steps until he got saved 1/2 way through it. It was then that he repented, and Christ made a "new man" out of him. It was at that point that their marriage began to heal. The 40 steps wasn't about showing his wife kindness, it was about showing him about his need for Christ. Anyhow, that was just how I saw it and I thought the movie was terrific! Michelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommylaw Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Loved it! I bought the Love Dare for dh and I for Christmas. We haven't started it yet because I want to have enough time to really commit to it. Eh...like that will ever happen. Perhaps we should pull it out today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Like others, I thought the acting was eh...so so. BUT the message behind it was awesome. Dh and I where shocked at how close the whole thing was to our marriage a few years ago. With the exception of the porn, nearly everything else was us. I mean, we even heard the exact words we used coming out of their mouths! God wasn't in our lives. We focused so much on ourselves. We ended up separated and a short court date away from divorce. Then God and a commitment to our marriage intervened. I only wish I could have seen something like this early on in our marriage and took it to heart. Could have saved us 15 years of misery..lol. I'm thankful that we finally figured it out. Fortunately we have the rest of our lives to live out what a marriage is SUPPOSED to be! I hope this movie can help other couples put the focus of their marriages back where it should be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fivetails Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Haven't, but want to see it. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kissy Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I watched it last night and my dh and I both loved it. We both cried during some of it. If you can watch it and really get into it I personally think it is great. I was shocked it was indy and shocked that I liked it. For me I usually do not like movies like that and find them very cheesy and to me this one was not. It was not a humorous movie but the parts that were funny were laugh out loud funny. My dh and I have a good marriage, Thank God, but I want to get the love dare and see if we can make it even stronger. I do think if you put your all into something that it is possible to change things. I am ever the optimist and just think that people can change because they see a change in you. As Ghandi said go out and be the change you want to see in the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katemary63 Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 Watched it and loved it. I have loved all three movies - Flywheel, Facing the Giants and Fireproof. I cried at all three. Yes the acting leaves some to be desired, but all have great messages about how God CAN work in your life if you let him. These movies are about people who come to the end of themselves and finally realize there is nothing left but to trust God. When they do, miracles happen. I believe this with all my heart and enjoyed seeing it played out in these movies. Great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 It has a "B" movie feel. I don't usually care for "B" movies. I like this one. A lot. We are going to buy it. I encourage you to put your knitting aside one evening and give it a try...:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura R (FL) Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Ditto...give it a try! I agree that the message is not about a magical 40 day program to improve your marriage. It's much deeper...putting your spouse first and finding God in your marriage. I liked Facing the Giants, but I've never heard of Flywheel....Hmm...off to Netflix! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jedbel Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 didn't really care for it. I don't like the concept behind someone doing a series of steps to change behavior and then all of a sudden a marriage is all hearts and roses. So what happens if the guy starts not being so great again or vice versa - will the marriage end up on the brinks of divorce again? My dh and I know couples who are doing the "love dare" from the movie and unless someone deeply desires to change in their own heart, not for the other person, it seems ingenuine. There is a lady in our small group who bought the Love Dare book FOR her husband. We also have a friend whose wife left him and he saw the movie and wanted to do the love dare. He had the impression he could go do a bunch of steps and win her back. His desire for change needed to come from his own heart and it's not something that can take place over a month and a half. I do not agree that the message of this movie is do such and such and your marriage will be perfect. The message was more along the lines of accept Jesus Christ as your Saviour and Lord and everything in your life including your marriage will be impacted in a positive way. This has been real in my life so this message really resonated with me. The character Caleb during the first part of the movie was trying to do xyz to get a certain result without it being genuinely heartfelt. His marriage did not get better. Halfway through the movie he becomes a follower of Jesus Christ and so his heart and therefore the motives behind what he is doing to save his marriage change. He is able to overcome the addiction to pornography and other challenges that were destroying his marriage. He begins to show unconditional love to his wife and to work hard to make her feel loved by him again. Only then is his marriage transformed. The message is a very real one and I hope it continues to lead many to Christ.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 I didn't really care for it. I don't like the concept behind someone doing a series of steps to change behavior and then all of a sudden a marriage is all hearts and roses. So what happens if the guy starts not being so great again or vice versa - will the marriage end up on the brinks of divorce again? My dh and I know couples who are doing the "love dare" from the movie and unless someone deeply desires to change in their own heart, not for the other person, it seems ingenuine. There is a lady in our small group who bought the Love Dare book FOR her husband. We also have a friend whose wife left him and he saw the movie and wanted to do the love dare. He had the impression he could go do a bunch of steps and win her back. His desire for change needed to come from his own heart and it's not something that can take place over a month and a half. But you know what *really* happens? The heart of the person doing the steps is changed. Maybe the marriage will be saved, maybe not, but at least in the movie, *his* heart was changed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura R (FL) Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 But you know what *really* happens? The heart of the person doing the steps is changed. Maybe the marriage will be saved, maybe not, but at least in the movie, *his* heart was changed. That's right!!! The wife says something like, "I may not ever be able to trust you again..(or how do I know this change will last)" His reply was along the lines of, "Whether you trust me or not, I know I have a changed heart." He knew he was a changed man and would remain so, even if he could not save the marriage. He came to realize it was more than the marriage at stake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Free Indeed Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Loved the movie. I even bought it on dvd- but then again I own all 3 of their movies now. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5Youngs Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 I didn't really care for it. I don't like the concept behind someone doing a series of steps to change behavior and then all of a sudden a marriage is all hearts and roses. So what happens if the guy starts not being so great again or vice versa - will the marriage end up on the brinks of divorce again? My dh and I know couples who are doing the "love dare" from the movie and unless someone deeply desires to change in their own heart, not for the other person, it seems ingenuine. There is a lady in our small group who bought the Love Dare book FOR her husband. We also have a friend whose wife left him and he saw the movie and wanted to do the love dare. He had the impression he could go do a bunch of steps and win her back. His desire for change needed to come from his own heart and it's not something that can take place over a month and a half. I think that was the entire idea behind the movie. We ALL try to make changes, secretly hoping to make life better for US. God can change anyone's heart, if they are open to it. The book is so much fuller than the movie!!!! I would recommend that if you saw the movie, then take a weekend and read it. I would not have liked the movie, had I not done that. The character development and personal changes are in the book. There's only so much that you can do with a film~ By far, it's not close to one of the worst movies I've seen. I'm just proud of them for making it, knowing that everyone was going to pick it apart......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Just in case you don't know, there have been numerous discussions about this film here on the boards. So if you would like more feedback, just search the boards for the movie title and you will find several more threads to read. I watched it, I don't think dh did. I agree that the movie isn't going to fix a hugely strained marriage. But what it may do is help people find a different way to try living with their spouse. It can possibly help someone who doesn't know what to do in their current situation. It can give someone a game plan, something to try, and keep them focused on a goal of getting back together emotionally with their spouse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 The other day on NPR's Weekend America they had a piece on a Christian film award program headed up by Doug Philips of Vision Forum. There were a few outtakes from movies and the dialogue and delivery were cringe-worthy, at best. I commend the makers of Fireproof ~ as well as the array church members (and Kirk Cameron) ~ for working to share a Christian message. Regardless of spirituality (or lack thereof) in a film, though, I find most specifically-Christian art (film, music, books) sorely lacking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cathy in SoCal Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 I agree that Christian film making is not top-shelf at this point. Content & substance, excellent--and God love 'em for it. But quality of production, we are behind. Just as an encouragement, however, some are really working to change that. We just came upon the Christian Filmmaker's Academy in San Antonio, TX, who are attempting to train people (and students) to change the culture with professional, excellent-quality media. I just saw it is hosted by Vision Forum. It brings in the best Christian producers, directors, stunts people, tech people in the business for workshops and training. And it looks like they're well-funded. http://www.independentchristianfilms.com/academy/ Also, Biola University, here in La Mirada, CA, has a great mass communication program and is producing excellent grads who are getting into the industry and making a difference. http://www.mcom.biola.edu/ and I know there are other schools. So, be encouraged. There seems to be a strong current of growth in this area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 We just came upon the Christian Filmmaker's Academy in San Antonio, TX, who are attempting to train people (and students) to change the culture with professional, excellent-quality media. I just saw it is hosted by Vision Forum. It brings in the best Christian producers, directors, stunts people, tech people in the business for workshops and training. Yes, this was what I was referencing in my previous post. Suffice it to say the Vision Forum folks, et al and I seem to have different standards as far as what's noteworthy.;) So, be encouraged. There seems to be a strong current of growth in this area. To be honest, I'm not particularly keen on Christians removing themselves from mainstream arts in order to create their own niche. I'd much rather simply be true to the faith while producing arts rather than force a heavy-handed message along the way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillary in KS Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 I'd much rather simply be true to the faith while producing arts rather than force a heavy-handed message along the way. I'm not a big fan of Christian movies, either. But I've seen cheesy, preachy, stiffly done movies by secular companies as well. (Remembering countless "movies of the week" while growing up.) I didn't think the message in "Fireproof" was heavy-handed. I've seen secular "message-movies" that were MUCH more preachy than "Fireproof." I guess if all I'd heard of the movie were sound clips on a radio show, I would probably agree with you. I wasn't thrilled about watching it, initially. Si many people raved about it, though, and I was curious. But having actually seen the movie I came away enjoying it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cathy in SoCal Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Yes, this was what I was referencing in my previous post. Suffice it to say the Vision Forum folks, et al and I seem to have different standards as far as what's noteworthy.;) To be honest, I'm not particularly keen on Christians removing themselves from mainstream arts in order to create their own niche. I'd much rather simply be true to the faith while producing arts rather than force a heavy-handed message along the way. I agree with you in theory. However, practice is another matter....since Christianity has become marginalized in our society, we are not invited to the table of ideas any longer. (Conservative actors--not even religious conservatives--have trouble getting work in the industry right now.) Therefore, I'm afraid one of our only choices may be to earn the respect from outside the fold first before we get invited back again. I do agree that we still have a ways to go even in respect--better acting to name one (although Kirk Cameron did a spectacular job). We can also go incognito into the industry and blossom once respect is gained, like I believe many of our young graduates are doing. This has much broader implications than just in media, of course. We're just seeing the reverberations of it in our discussion now. The ideas have been sown into the fabric of our culture for over 100 years; it will take quite a bit to come back. And even if we never do, we can't stop trying with excellence. (The excellence part is in process too.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 We watched this movie tonight and I really appreciated it. First of all, it comes at the end of what were some of the hardest years of our marriage. Only recently have things changed for us (before the movie, obviously) and this movie really hit close to home. I actually purchased the book for us to read and think on together. No matter how strong our marriage has become, I think the book will be a great reminder of some of the "little things" that it takes to make a marriage happy and healthy. The acting was not great. For the first half of the movie, dh and I would glance at each other with "what are we watching?" type looks...and the accents. Oh.my.goodness. I am from Tennessee and those were even a bit too southern for me. Eek! But, in the end, when he got down on his knees and truly apologized to her, I cried. What he said was so true of even how I had been in my own marriage just a few short years ago. Several times, my husband turned to me and honestly asked, "why did she do that?" For instance, when he got her the measley, crappy flowers and she looked at them and just kept walking...or when he made her dinner and she came downstairs and said, "let me make this really clear...I DON'T LOVE YOU." My dh didn't understand at all - and I was able to tell him why and talk to him about the sincerity and what it seemed like to her. I remember when my ex-husband got the divorce papers and he suddenly became a new man. He all of a sudden couldn't understand why I didn't love him and he cried more than I had ever seen him cry. But, by then, things were so bad, I had blocked out the love and feelings I had once had for him. There was just nothing left...and his empty tears did not change my heart. Anyway, a lot of blah blah blah to say that I definitely think there is something to be said for the movie - and for marriage in general. Maybe it is easier watching it from the "other side" - I am not sure how I would have felt about it if I was in the middle of the storm right now. I do thank God for opening my eyes to see what a kind, gentle, and loving man I am married to. Just allowing yourself to see the person you married - beyond the things that bother you about them - means so much. Oh...and when he smashed his computer and left her the flowers that said, "Because I love you more"...okay...I would have been MUSH. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted March 3, 2009 Share Posted March 3, 2009 The other day on NPR's Weekend America they had a piece on a Christian film award program headed up by Doug Philips of Vision Forum. There were a few outtakes from movies and the dialogue and delivery were cringe-worthy, at best. . But, I've met the girl's family...all the girls are just so sweet. The did a speech contest ...and were incredible! They are part of a speech/debate or something group. Anyway, you look at them and they are just lovely...in and out... So, the movie may have been lacking, but their family just turns me to mush! Carrie:-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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