DB in NJ Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 My sister has announced to my bil that she is moving to another country to live with a man she just met. They met online, and she just got back from spending 2 weeks with him. (It was supposed to be 10 days, but she "lost" her passport. Real responsible kinda gal, dontcha think???) She'll be leaving her children too. How on earth does a mother leave her children....for a MAN?????? I will never, ever understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Her poor kids. I don't understand it, either. My stepbrother committed suicide over a woman. And she wasn't even a nice woman. And to this day, I think he was really stupid for doing that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Oh wow!! That is stupid. I'm sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JWSJ Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 I've also run into a similar situation from a co-worker and have a complete loss for words. Why would a mother leave her three young children to move 500 miles away? And not provide any support to them? It makes no sense to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 It's unfathomable but I think it happens more than we know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 My sister has announced to my bil that she is moving to another country to live with a man she just met. They met online, and she just got back from spending 2 weeks with him. (It was supposed to be 10 days, but she "lost" her passport. Real responsible kinda gal, dontcha think???) She'll be leaving her children too. How on earth does a mother leave her children....for a MAN?????? I will never, ever understand. Don't have any answers for you, just a :grouphug:. There is always the chance, she'll either reconsider or return really fast if she finds out it's not what she thought. This may be your chance to be the best aunt in the world! Her children will need a sane woman around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 I am so sorry. Stupid doesn't beging to describe it, and I hope your sister realizes sooner rather than later. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 :grouphug::scared: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runninmommy Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Her poor kids. Are you close to them? If so, it would make a world of difference if you could step in and be a "Motherly example" to them. (ask me how I know) Not raise them, but be a figure for them. How heartbreaking. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 :grouphug: I agree with the others about what an effect you could have on the children. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Wow! There are just no words for that. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BryRon Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 I haven't read the other posts, but in my opinion, if she is that selfish and unconcerned for her kids, then they may just be better off with their daddy. There is not a snowball's chance in h**l that I would leave my kids for a man, of all things. Although, that may be her issue: she needs a change and is going through some kind of mid-life crisis. Having said that, we women do not have the luxury of allowing ourselves to have a "mid-life" crisis. I am generalizing, I know. But I do believe that most mommas would agree: we are the glue that holds our families together, and to let a passing fancy dictate our actions is just not feasible. Speaking for myself, now: I do feel the need to go crazy, act single and childless and act like I was 18 again. But I cannot. And I will not. I will wait until my kiddos are grown and then look out! Yeah, probably not - I will be close to 60 (I'm 39 now) and my kids are 3 and 7. But, it's all good. She'll figure it out and grieve for time missed with her kids. She has to bear that forever. Unfortunately, so do the kids. Hopefully family will rally 'round and shower so much love and attention that it will diminish somewhat the shadow of being "abandoned." I wish you the best - be strong!:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Oh my. I can't even imagine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Gently here... but she must be in a really, really bad place within herself to do what she's doing. I did something very similar including leaving my toddler daughter. I was in such a bad place that I had to something very drastic because I was fighting off suicidal thoughts. I had no one to turn to except a guy I met online in another state. I couldn't talk to my family, including my sister, who thought I was stupid. But what I really needed was compassion, sympathy, prayer and hugs. I thank God for that guy in another state because I really don't think I would have made it through. He didn't judge me, but helped me get out of a very dark place. We lost contact. I think of him often and hope his life is fabulous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
classics4us Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 OMgosh! Her poor children and dh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 I haven't read the other posts, but in my opinion, if she is that selfish and unconcerned for her kids, then they may just be better off with their daddy. There is not a snowball's chance in h**l that I would leave my kids for a man, of all things. Although, that may be her issue: she needs a change and is going through some kind of mid-life crisis. Having said that, we women do not have the luxury of allowing ourselves to have a "mid-life" crisis. I am generalizing, I know. But I do believe that most mommas would agree: we are the glue that holds our families together, and to let a passing fancy dictate our actions is just not feasible. :grouphug: :iagree: Nothing and no one could tear me from my children. No man is worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 (((Donna))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Jenny Flint Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Those poor kids. I guess that link isn't as strong for everyone, but for me it would take bombs dropping on my city and the threat of death to my children for me to separate from them, even briefly (think London air raids). However, there are many children whose mothers stay with them and they are no better off. There is so much suffering in the world. But, there is a lot of beauty, too. You can be part of the beauty for those children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BryRon Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Thank you for having the courage to respond to this. I'm not sure that I would have. I am so glad that you found your peace! But, I think that it's really hard for most mommas to think about not being there for their kids, let alone doing so willingly. I sometimes feel that my kids would be better off without me (usually when that time comes-PMS) but then that maternal instinct and love for my offspring kicks in and I am as protective as a badger. It comes down to this, IMO: unless one has walked in another person's shoes, one cannot truly understand. Gently here... but she must be in a really, really bad place within herself to do what she's doing. I did something very similar including leaving my toddler daughter. I was in such a bad place that I had to something very drastic because I was fighting off suicidal thoughts. I had no one to turn to except a guy I met online in another state. I couldn't talk to my family, including my sister, who thought I was stupid. But what I really needed was compassion, sympathy, prayer and hugs. I thank God for that guy in another state because I really don't think I would have made it through. He didn't judge me, but helped me get out of a very dark place. We lost contact. I think of him often and hope his life is fabulous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheryl Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 :grouphug: I'm sorry for all involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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