Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Guess we weren't related after all. :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Having lived half my life in the deep south, it is something that slips out of my mouth like butter. I don't do "sweetie" too often, but often times women get "hon" and men get "darlin'" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeanestMomInMidwest Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 You got that right! This sums it up. As a side to you, Pam. I hate it even worse when someone in the medical profession (from the receptionist to the nurse to the doctor) calls anyone by these aforementioned terms. It is demeaning squared when you are at the mercy of their care. Don't you think? I always call my patients (if they are older than I am) Mister Firstname or Mizz Firstname. The patients who are in my age range or younger I call by their first name. They call me by my first name, or if they forget my name, simply "Nurse." Althought I have to admit I've been called much worse by some patients! I also have never had the ability to clue into condensation from a random speaker's tone, so I think I just tend to chalk it up to a regional thing or an attempt at niceness (of which there is not enough, imo). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I'm not going to get my panties in a wad over somebody who is trying to be nice.Hon, I'll take....Ma'am bugs me b/c it serves as a reminder that I'm no longer looking like a miss (or a hon). :001_smile: So, these poor customer service people...they're darned if they do and darned if they don't. Yes, what I hate is the movement from the "hon", Miss" or "Sweetie" category to the ma'am category. When did this happen? WHy wasn't I consulted. Quite frankly I prefer the former to the later. If you are still getting the former, consider yourself lucky. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarfoot Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 We were at a restaurant last weekend and the (very young) waitress kept calling my DH and I "Mom and Dad." "How are the kids, do we need anything? And how are Mom and Dad doing?" "Okay, Mom and Dad, are we having dessert?" My DH was so annoyed it was almost funny.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbie Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I call everyone hon, but I am from San Diego, is that South. Okay , its not. I got the habit working in banks for fifteen yrs. Most customers loved it , but I did get the occasional reprimand to tone it down. I still do it, but just out of habit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeanestMomInMidwest Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 We were at a restaurant last weekend and the (very young) waitress kept calling my DH and I "Mom and Dad." "How are the kids, do we need anything? And how are Mom and Dad doing?" "Okay, Mom and Dad, are we having dessert?" My DH was so annoyed it was almost funny.:) I have done this when I have a young-ish patient whose mom and/or dad is with him/her. I will turn to the parent and say "Okay, Mom, here's what's going on...." Mainly b/c I have a hard enough time remembering my patient's name, I surely cannot remember their parents' names. If there are several visitors in the room, it makes it very clear to whom I am communicating, and cuts down on everyone talking at once. My favorite trick is to turn to the parent and say, "Okay, Mom. You are allowed to go in the room because I have a son of my own, and even at 21, I realize you don't want to leave him. But you are going to have to help me with all these other people." Really, when I say it, I usually get a chuckle and the idea is conveyed that I cannot have 5 visitors in an ICU room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracey in TX Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Oh, I'd rather be hon than ma'am. Ma'am is so insulting, IMO. I'm too young at heart to be an old hag, which is what I envision for a "ma'am". GF reprimands teens for calling her ma'am as she would rather be called just about anything else! :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarfoot Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I have done this when I have a young-ish patient whose mom and/or dad is with him/her. I will turn to the parent and say "Okay, Mom, here's what's going on...." Mainly b/c I have a hard enough time remembering my patient's name, I surely cannot remember their parents' names. If there are several visitors in the room, it makes it very clear to whom I am communicating, and cuts down on everyone talking at once. My favorite trick is to turn to the parent and say, "Okay, Mom. You are allowed to go in the room because I have a son of my own, and even at 21, I realize you don't want to leave him. But you are going to have to help me with all these other people." Really, when I say it, I usually get a chuckle and the idea is conveyed that I cannot have 5 visitors in an ICU room. Yeah, in a medical situation with one of the children, it wouldn't have/doesn't bother me. But we were just trying to have dinner... And she said it sooo much.:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cornerstone Classical Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Hey, I'm southern, and I can take the "hon" and "sweetie". It's what follows after that. It's especially bad with grocery store cashiers, and waitresses at Ryans or some buffet style place....they ask your kids all kinds of questions, then proceed to tell us about all their family and kids. The worst it ever got was one time after the cashier asked me 100 and 1 questions about my 3 month old daughter, she then asks me if I had c-section and if I breastfeed.:eek: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeanestMomInMidwest Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Yeah, in a medical situation with one of the children, it wouldn't have/doesn't bother me. But we were just trying to have dinner... And she said it sooo much.:D Good...I'm glad in my situation it's not likely to cause offense. I used to be a waitress, and never used "Mom" and/or "Dad." And I don't think I used any other diminuatives, b/c it's really not my style. Although, I do call all children "sweetie" and one of the neighbor kids said she liked it when I called her sweetie. I didn't break her heart by telling her I couldn't remember her real name (the house down the road from us goes through renters quite frequently). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I take it for what is-someone trying to be nice. Unless the waitress said it snotty like, of course. I was a waitress at one point in my life and, man, you can't do anything right. Really. It's a tough job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I also have never had the ability to clue into condensation from a random speaker's tone, so I think I just tend to chalk it up to a regional thing or an attempt at niceness (of which there is not enough, imo). I wanna be you when I grow up. That's a great attitude. I have no idea why I'm so irrationally hung up on this issue, but it is what it is, I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 even though I know some people don't like it. It's a long standing social grace to call adult women "ma'am." I mean, the QUEEN is Ma'am. Would you call her Hon? "Hon" is hard for some people (not all, of course) because it is overly familiar. You don't know me, so how could I be your Honey, your sweetie, or your darling? So at least one is an attempt to be respectful, and the other isn't. Neither seems that bad to me, maybe because I am used to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 It doesn't bother me, people can call me whatever they want. I lived in the south long enough to pick up a respectful "maam" and 'sir" or "Mr. Smith" or Mrs. Smith". If I call a customer by these out of respect, I most often get a snide "Don't call me that, thats what they call old people..." or "Thats my father's name, I don't go by Mr. Smith" HUH?!?!? . I even get this from people double my age. So, slowly over the years, I have started to switch to a 'sweetie' or 'darlin' because people respond better to that than the more formal terms. I haven't had the rude backlash from those terms, like I do from the more appropriate! What one person sees as respect or friendly, is seen as rude and condensending to another. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zelda Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 Please don't call me, "Hon". You may call me ma'am, Mrs. Buller, or even Mindy. But, I don't like it when someone half my age that I do not know calls me "Hon"!! Have you noticed this new thing of waitresses calling people "Hon"? It irks me!! If this is a new thing then Indiana was on top of this trend at least 30 years ago. :001_smile: But, yes, very inappropriate to refer to an woman older than yourself that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMe Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 I agree. I went to a kids store to buy my 8 yr old some clothing and this early 20's girl called me "hon" (I'm 48). That's soooooo tacky. I don't find it endearing, but disrespectful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coralloyd Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 One of my friends calls everyone "Hon" and "Dear". When I first met her this really bugged me. I felt like I was being treated as a child, by someone my own age. Keep in mind that we are in our twenties. Now I am use to it, and love her very much. However, this came close to being a deal breaker for me even considering a friendship with her. I know that sounds horrible:blush:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in KY Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 ...the RN doing the intake called everyone "my luv." It went something like this: "How old are you, my luv?" dh mumbles an answer "What is your birthday, my luv?" dh mumbles an answer "What is your name, my luv?" "My name is ____, but you can call me 'My luv.'" Silence. Later, we noticed the more difficult the patient in the ward, the dearer the term she used. There was one guy she called, "Poppet." What a pill! :lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 This used to really bother me (probably something to do with the fact that my mom called everyone hon). But anymore, with everything else I've heard and seen, being called hon is way down on my list. Although I would probably bristle if it came from someone half my age...or more. Janet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Jenny Flint Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 I use that language, and am receptive to it. Heck, I even call my friends "little Missy" sometimes in a mock stern tone. I use honey, darlin', doll, and girl(ie) most often. I feel warm fuzzies when someone does it to me. How on earth can we convey warmth and affection to each other if, half the time, we get offended by it? I will continue to embrace, as best I know how, the people around me- probably even more so now, since my very loving neighbor has died. I will do this on the off chance that they will be enriched or feel loved by it. If you think on it, isn't this where peace begins? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmomtutu Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 I'm so tired of cashiers who either say almost nothing to you or who are stiffly polite. Some days I just want to shout, "Come on people, can't somebody have a personalty and be friendly for a change!" So, send all of the Hons, sweeties, sweathearts, darlings, and dolls over to Tacoma, ok? I am in complete agreeance...the girls/guys that work at my "Starbucks" usually offer great service & a smile (not the greatest coffee) ~which is in contrast to most places~and we are on friendly aquintance terms...a couple know my name...most know my hubby's... it's a friendly place for us to hang out and visit or have small meetups with friends...so being called hon or sweetie is a-ok by me and just a friendly thing...and on the nose ring side note~~several have nose rings or those big earhole things...and great personalities to boot:) (disclaimer...I am in the South too) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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