JennifersLost Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 My kids like to tell me that I'm the meanest, strictest mom EVER. No one else makes their kids do chores around the house. NONE of their friends have ANY CHORES AT ALL! Like I said in another post - one of my kid was in tears today because he had to wash the dishes twice - because he hadn't really washed them the first time! So, let's have 'em! Bring out your chore lists. Am I truly the meanest mom there is? Just for reference here's my basic list: 13 yo ds: make bed, clean room, put away clothes, wipe down sink, counter and mirror in bathroom (once per week), wash, dry and put away dishes one meal per day (usually lunch, sometimes dinner - this is generally a shared chore, but the boys broke the dishwasher so right now they're eaching taking one meal to do on their own - we're also doing this to isolate who is doing such a horrendous job because the dishes in the cupboard keep being dirty when I get them out). Occasionally he's asked to throw the clothes in the washer into the dryer or to bring them upstairs. Occasionally he's asked to fold his own clothes. Otherwise they appear as if by magic on his bed for him to put away. He takes out the trash. When he remembers to. 15 yo ds: Same except he cleans the toilet and sweeps in the bathroom. He is often asked to help knead bread and bake cookies and to "be in charge" if we go out. Both are asked to help out occasionally with household projects and getting our rentals ready to rent. The oldest does waaaaaaay more of this than the 13 yo. Months pass in between times. Every so often they are also asked to help pick up an extra room - the rec room or living room. Generally takes 15 - 30 minutes. Whattdya think. Meanest mom ever? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aggie Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 I may be able to compete here because our 7yods almost does as much:001_smile: 7yods: empty his part of the dishwasher (plastics and utensils) feed the 6 dogs take out bathroom trash use the hand vac to get the dust I sweep up throw his sheets in the wash when asked set the table and clean it off after meals sweep carport about once/wk 11 and 12yodds: help with laundry...switch from washer to dryer, hang or take down clothes from line fold some laundry keep room clean keep class room picked up fix lunch 11yodd: clean girls' bathroom take out kitchen trash feed goats clean counters in kitchen after meals 12yodd:load dishwasher feed and milk goats help with care of dogs, horses and cats mows the yard in the summer On top of these, dc are expected to *happily* help around the house. Sometimes I mention a stray chore, sometimes they see it and just do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 (edited) My kids rotate duties each week and they each receive a $10 allowance in exchange for it. No work, no pay. $$ docked for each day work is not done completely. BATHROOM DUTY I Daily Clean kids' bathroom: 1 Make sure it is neat 2 clean the sink 3 clean the toilet 4 bring towel hamper to laundry room when full 5 replace roll on toilet paper if necessary 6 pick up trash on floor 7 sweep if necessary, always on Saturday 8 clean mirror if necessary, always on Saturday 9 empty trash if full, always on Saturday 10 clean tub, always on Saturday II. Daily Clean laundry room: 1 Make sure it is neat 2 clean the sink 3 clean the toilet 4 replace roll on toilet paper if necessary, 5 pick up trash on floor, 6 empty trash if full, always on Saturday 7 sweep if necessary, always on Saturday III. Daily Set Table for Dinner: 1 Clear off table if necessary. 2 Set the table 3 Fill glasses with milk 4 Make sure salt and pepper are on the table. DINING ROOM DUTY I. Clean dining room: 1. Clear table, 2. clean table and/or place mats, 3. push chairs in, 4. make sure nothing is on the floor II. Clean kitchen: 1. put away food, 2. refill dog dishes after they are washed, 3. unload dishwasher, 4. dry hand-washed dishes, 5. put away hand-washed dishes, 6. take out garbage if full. __________________________________________________________________________________ KITCHEN DUTY 1. Load dishwasher, 2. wash pots, pans and utensils, 3. wash dog dishes, 4. clean counter, 5, clean stove, 6. clean sink, 7. sweep floor 8. run dishwasher at bedtime FLOOR CLEANING DUTY I. MWF Vacuum and Sweep Den and Dining Room, Sweep Foyer & Stairs & Living Room Make sure you get everything out from under all furniture. II. Weekly Vacuum & Sweep upstairs hall and hall space III. Towel Duty: Fold and put away clean towels IV. Get Mail from Mailbox daily. Edited January 11, 2009 by RoughCollie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 (edited) My kids do these things for free. CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELVES Daily Bedroom: Make bed Put away belongings (including trash, books, laundry) Daily Bathrooms: Put towels & washcloths in towel hamper Put your dirty clothes in your hamper Put the caps on toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, and put those items away Rinse your toothbrush Rinse the sink after you use it Replace the toilet paper on the roll if it is out Flush the toilet and close the lid when you are done using it. When you take a shower, make sure the shower curtain is inside the tub Close the shower curtain afterwards so it can dry. Remove all books and personal items from the bathroom when you leave. Put your trash in the trash can Daily Communal Living Areas: Clean up after yourselves in communal areas: Downstairs, living room, hall space, upper hall Hang up your coat and put away your gloves and boots and shoes Put your schoolwork on your shelf in the playroom (homeschool) Put your backpack by the front door at night (public school) Daily Lunches Every night, Sunday – Thursday, you must pack your lunch for school. Put it into the refrigerator. Clean up after yourselves completely after you do this. Weekly Bedroom: Bring laundry downstairs Wash, dry, fold, and put away laundry Change sheets Vacuum and sweep bedroom Dust surfaces of bookcases, chests, night stands, desks, and so forth Take the trash out ************* Any communal areas that are in disarray are cleaned by the kids and Mom. This includes taking down and putting away Christmas decorations and other family projects. ************* Groceries will be taken in and put away. Garbage will be taken out each week by Floor Person and Bathroom Person. Edited January 11, 2009 by RoughCollie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicki Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 My 12 year old ds and 16 year old dd take turns doing all the dishes, clean the bathrooms once a week, polish the furniture once a week, help with meal preparation, give the dogs a bath every week, and anything else that I need help with. They vacuum occassionally. I don't know how it happened, but we all work together really well. They are my youngest 2, but everyone has always helped out around the house. God bless, Vicki Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 14yo ds has 50 hours a week of school and swim team, so his chores aren't too extensive. He cleans his room and does either dishes or another 30 minute family chore almost daily. He also helps to babysit his 2yo sister for about 2-3 hours a week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennifersLost Posted January 11, 2009 Author Share Posted January 11, 2009 RoughCollie, thank you! That's exactly what I was looking for. The funny thing is that last year my kids had MORE chores. I actually cut back on them because their school/activities had increased. They've just gotten lazy and I've gotten distracted. And it's showing in our house. Can I come over and hang out at your clean place? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 (edited) Can I come over and hang out at your clean place? Yes, you can. Keep in mind that I spend more time inspecting work and supervising kids than they should spend on their chores. I figure that they can get it all done in 1 hour per day each, except for Saturdays, where it may take up to 2 hours. In real life, it takes them forever because they are slow as molasses. I think they are trying to wear me down. DD told me today that she figures I'll last another week before I give up on them. We've done this before, you see, and this time the Grand Plan has lasted a month. It will continue forever because I have had it with being all things to all people all the time. Plus, I like having a relatively clean house. The biggest drawback is that I greatly dislike supervising people, always have. The second-biggest drawback is that I hate repeating myself over and over. I am still hoping the day will come when I do not have to tell some of my kids to take a shower, wash their entire bodies with soap, and wash their hair with shampoo. Or to rewash a pot that is clearly still dirty. Or to put the mugs on the mug shelf and the glasses on the glasses shelf. Or to throw their trash in the garbage can instead of on the floor. Or to ... you get the picture. My detailed lists were designed to alleviate me having to constantly tell the kids what to do. They actually function as checklists for me as I inspect and supervise the work. Are you sure you want to come *here*? I'd rather go to your place. I just bought a box of 250 dental disclosing tablets so I can make sure the kids are brushing their teeth properly. An uproar is about to ensue over that. I can feel it coming. RC Edited January 11, 2009 by RoughCollie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamaof2andtwins Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 I have an almost 15 yo, soon to be 13 yo and two 9 yo girls. 14 yo: Make bed Personal chores (dress, hair, teeth) Vacuum living room and dining room (daily) Clean upstairs bath (wipe sink, toilet seat, mirror) Clean bath tub once a week Rinse dishes after meals and wipe counters Hand wash overflow dishes Wash kitchen floor (once a week) Clean and vacuum own room once a week Wash own clothes Mow in summer and shovel in winter Help when I ask 12 yo: Make bed Personal chores Unload dishwasher Vacuum family room (daily) Load dishwasher after meals Dry overflow dishes after brother washes them Clean and vacuum own room once a week Clean her rodent's tank once a week Wash own clothes Clean toilet and mop upstairs bathroom floor Pour drinks for meals Help when I ask especially with meal prep In addition my 12 yo works at a horse barn 2 afternoons a week. She rides another day. My son has hockey twice a week and sometimes mows other people's lawns in the summer. The 9 yo twins have chores too, but you just asked about the older ones. Jennie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Mine are a little younger, but they do have chores. They have a rotating schedule each week that includes: Dishes cleaning up the Kitchen Trash Laundry Picking up the living room Cleaning the Bathroom Cleaning up their bedrooms And just generally cleaning up after themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Jenny Flint Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 That's pretty much how we do it. My kids are 14 and 9. They each have a daily chore list and each day has a "big chore" associated with it besides. One of their big chores is to do their own laundry. Trash is taken out by them. Dishwasher is unloaded by the oldest. Pets are maintained mostly by my youngest. Plants are watered, glass surfaces are cleaned, dusting is done, doggie doody is cleaned up in the yard. A neat room is expected always. Picking up after yourself is a given. Allowance is rationed, but is not in any way linked to chores. My list of obligations is still longer. As long as that is the case, they have nothing to complain about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Another Jen Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 We go with "what needs to be done around here". I have 13,15 and now 18 year old boys. They all know after school there will be work that needs to be done. This year for household stuff we are using the motivated moms checklist and we'll just divy up the chores. But the majority of the "work" that the oldest two do is real work. We are finishing our basement and they have done almost all the work under my DH supervision. They've done automotive repair ( they replaced my starter over winter break)They have drywalled, taped, painted trimmed caulked the trim sanded etc. Last year they replaced our carpet with laminate flooring. In the Spring they drive to the free mulch pile and shovel mulch into our trailer and bring it back to our garden and spread it- that is usually a three day job. We try to focus on "real skills" that they will need as men. They know if there is something that needs to be done we all work. They don't see their dad or I sitting around until the work is done- so they don't expect to have free time either. By the way my Dh is not a contractor he's a computer software guy- we just really feel its important for adult people to know how to "do" something with their hands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Boys- work and feed cattle, bale, rake and haul hay, fix fences, grind feed, mow yard, anything ranch related. About the only thing they have to do in the house though is clean the garage. They work HARD and I don't require them to do much of the house stuff. Occasionally I'll tell them to pick up their room, but honestly, the girls and I usually do it for them. Girls- help me with whatever needs to be done in the house, we all work together. Laundry, dusting, vacuming, ironing, cleaning, the whole shebang. Everyone works til everyone is finished. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Boys- work and feed cattle, bale, rake and haul hay, fix fences, grind feed, mow yard, anything ranch related. I use your boys as an example of what life could be like for my boys if they lived on a ranch. My sons have a soft life compared to yours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 This has been altered since, but these are the ones I have on the computer currently. Here is One Kid's list (2nd list is below): Living Room Straighten books, toss trash, put dishes in kitchen, clean tables Dust everything, Vacuum on Monday and Thursday Dining Room Toss trash, vacuum Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday Refill Piggies’ water and feed Piggies Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday Activity Room Toss trash, straighten books, put items up, clean table Dust everything, Vacuum on Monday and Wednesday Bedroom Toys picked up, nothing on floor, knickknacks neat Bedding done including bed made CORRECTLY Solumel daily Bathroom Toss trash in big trash can, Take out laundry/towels Wipe down sink then toilet, Clean shower on Friday Mirror on Tuesday and Friday Trash Take out trash each morning and/or as necessary Make sure there is no trash on pantry floor Do at least two full rotations of laundry if necessary Make sure dogs are fed and watered Other Kid: Kitchen EVERY DAY-- Dishes – EVERY single one of them Counters – EVERY inch of each of them Items on counters – as few as possible, wipe down/under/behind daily Sweep Sink –COMPLETELY clean and dried daily Bars – nothing left on them, cleaned Stove – clean well, scrub as needed More Kitchen – Mop on Tuesday and Friday Clear and straighten refrigerator on Thursday Cabinets – wipe down face of drawers and cabinets on Friday Microwave—clean on Monday Trash Take big trash cans out to road on Wednesday evening Bring brig trash cans back to house on Thursday Guinea Pigs Monday, Wednesday, Friday Refill Piggies’ water! Feed Piggies veggies, kibble, hay. Bedroom Toys picked up, nothing on floor, knickknacks neat Bedding done including bed made CORRECTLY Solumel daily Bathroom Toss trash in big trash can, Take out laundry/towels Wipe down sink then toilet, Clean shower on Friday Mirror on Tuesday and Friday Do at least two full rotations of laundry if necessary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 (edited) BTW, the way we did it when they were little (and I wish we still could but...) was just that we had a time to clean house and we all just worked until it was finished. If they didn't know what needed to be done, they were to ask one another or myself. That worked REALLY well for a LONG time. But it's not what is best for us right now. BTW, we don't actually USE the list above. It's been so long it's not necessary. Also, we switch out chores on the first of each month so each person's would change. But the lists, though not completely accurate for our current circumstances are a reasonable picture of what goes on here. The only big addition is that we push-mow an acre, taking turns. AND we don't pay for chores. Chores are expected from family members. Edited January 11, 2009 by 2J5M9K Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle T Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 The second-biggest drawback is that I hate repeating myself over and over. I am still hoping the day will come when I do not have to tell some of my kids to take a shower, wash their entire bodies with soap, and wash their hair with shampoo. Or to rewash a pot that is clearly still dirty. Or to put the mugs on the mug shelf and the glasses on the glasses shelf. Or to throw their trash in the garbage can instead of on the floor. Or to ... you get the picture. (/QUOTE] My DS will claim that he HAS brushed his teeth. When I question further, it turns out he did so using his "invisible toothbrush". He also needs to be reminded to use toothpaste, and to actually use shampoo on his hair, not just water. Sigh. I won't even get into how much reminding/prompting he needs for everything else. Michelle T Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 I may be able to compete here because our 7yods almost does as much:001_smile: More mommy competition? Meh. No thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 My DS will claim that he HAS brushed his teeth. I won't even get into how much reminding/prompting he needs for everything else. Michelle T This is the reason I bought dental disclosing tablets. Next, I'm going to invest in a bullhorn that is programmed to say the same things over and over again in my voice. I wonder if this has been invented yet. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle T Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 I need to clarify that my DS has fairly severe ADHD and LD's, particularly visual/spatial processing deficits, and fine motor deficits. So he is still unable to do some chores that I would typically expect a 12.5 year old to do. For example, no way I'm having him put away clean dishes, or load the dishwasher. There would be broken glass everywhere. But here are typical chores he is assigned each week. I print out a chart each Sunday, and list assignments for each day. Some of these are broken down into rooms, spread over the week. Empty bathroom trash. 3x week Bring in big trash cans from curb on trash day. 1x week Wipe kitchen counters. 2x week Wipe bathroom counters. 1x week (I also do this other days) Dust. 2-3x week, different rooms Wipe wood furniture with dust remover. every other week Clean large closet-door mirrors. whenever I think of it Pick up poop out of dog run. 3x week Put away clean, folded laundry. whenever I do his laundry Mop floors. 2-3x week, different rooms each day Feed cats kibble. daily Feed fish. daily Make bed. daily Wipe doorknobs with disinfectant. every month or so Wipe basboards. broken down by room, every few months Sweep patio. whenever his dad makes him Top off outdoor fountain with water. Daily in summer I'm sure there are more, but that's all I can think of. I do have to remind, nag, prompt DS to do all of these, and he generally does a terrible job. Partly because of sheer laziness, partly because of LD's, and difficulty in coordinating hand/eye movements. I periodically do all of these myself, to actually get a good job done. I might mop once a month, but he would be mopping weekly. My DH also has raging ADHD, and also needs a lot of reminding to get things done around the house. Michelle T Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 More mommy competition? Meh. No thanks! It isn't a competition just because the OP characterized it as one. Frankly, I see no signs of competition here. I view this as an information exchange. RC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennifersLost Posted January 11, 2009 Author Share Posted January 11, 2009 I had to go back and read my OP. Nope - didn't mean it as a competition. Just fed up with the kids acting as if I'd asked them to scrub the Taj Mahal with a toothbrush held between their teeth. My idea here was that we could all have a list to check in to as a reality check. Yes, other kids work. Yes, other moms expect the kids to help out. Yes, this is a part of life and growing up. I don't think any of our kids mean to be pains in the butts - they're just human and if complaining means they get out of work, then they'll complain. I find this part of "mommying" very difficult. It helps me to see that other people are making lists and following through. It helps me to hear other people's ups and downs with it, too. I'm trying to re-motivate myself to get us all up and moving and keep on the kids so they grow up the way I want them to grow up. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far. It does help when everyone in the family has chores and DOES them. I love it when the house is clean. So does everyone else. None of us likes getting it that way, though, very much. Sigh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 My children think that they have slave work to do. My oldest 2, do what I ask. My biggest problem is getting the laundry put away. I can wash it...and then it sits and just sits...instead of being nicely put away. If I could possibly get the laundry put away and the kitchen counters cleared, my house would look more neat. Of course, I'd still have other things to put away. At one time, I had an extra room, and I just hung all the clothes away in there. I have an old craftsman house and I have to say, there aren't many little hide away spots to put things. (We have 2 rooms in what would have been "hide-a-way" closets.) Carrie:-( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 First BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Scoot over in the meanie boat, 'cause I'm grabbing a paddle and jumping in with you. My 15 y.o. dd's chores Daily: Help clean the kitchen and sweep the floors morning and evening, bring her laundry downstairs. Weekly: Sunday-Sweep and mop the downstairs floors. Monday-Clean the upstairs bathroom. Tuesday-Clean the windows, clean playroom mirror, empty the trash. Wednesday-Wipe down the kitchen cupboards and sweep/mop kitchen floor. Thursday-Clean under the kitchen sink and clean the dining room chairs. Friday-TBA (Usually a chore I've not had time to get done during the week, ranging from pulling weeds outside, to cobwebs and dusting, to cleaning the pantry floor). Saturday-Help out when asked. We also expect her to pitch in and help out willingly whenever she's asked, which she does. No one else makes their kids do chores around the house. NONE of their friends have ANY CHORES AT ALL! You know, some of my dd's friends have chores, but I don't think her best friends have to do anything around the house. They look at our family chore chart like it's something from another planet. One young man looked incredulous and said "You make her do all this?" (Perhaps I should show him some of the other chore lists here, lol.) I breathed a sigh of relief when, as she was speaking to a friend on the phone, I overheard this: "I can't come until I clean the bathroom---Well, yeah.---Yeah, it's kind of gross, but I've got to learn to do it so I know how to clean my own bathroom when I move out." At least something I've said is sinking in. :) Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TxMama Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 When my older kids were 13-15 they were responsible for All their own laundry Their rooms Their shared bathroom Upstairs living space Helping with the yard. These areas needed to be clean before going to any outside commitments. My oldest daughter missed horse riding lessons once and my oldest son missed time with his friends a couple of times. I made them a chart from Flylady so they knew exactly what needed to be done to be considered "clean." At 17-18 they are still responsible for the same areas .....they negotiate among themselves how to divide the work. My son tends to do all of the yard work and she does all of the dusting/vacuuming/bathroom and they share the daily pickup. It is actually quite comical to listen to them.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 "make bed, clean room, put away clothes" - This is supposed to be a daily routine for my older son, since he was 11. Now, it doesn't always get done, or done to my specifications, but every few weeks one of us will go in and make him plow out and truly clean it up. "wipe down sink, counter and mirror in bathroom (once per week)" - Yes, my older son is responsible for cleaning their bathroom weekly, which also includes cleaning the toilet, the tub and shower enclosure, and the floor. "wash, dry and put away dishes one meal per day" - Well, LOL, if my son broke the dishwasher, then he would also be doing dishes by hand. My husband actually puts the dishes in the dishwasher and takes them out, but my older son is asked to help him with this chore on a regular basis. I let them work that out between themselves because the cooking is my job and I'm not encroaching on their territory or they'll try to turn it all over to me.... "Occasionally he's asked to throw the clothes in the washer into the dryer or to bring them upstairs. Occasionally he's asked to fold his own clothes. Otherwise they appear as if by magic on his bed for him to put away." - My older son has been washing his own clothes, including (mostly) his towels for swim (which is a ton of towels), since he was 11. He's completely responsible for washing and putting away his own clothes. If he doesn't do it, it doesn't get done. "He takes out the trash. When he remembers to." - Yes, my older son is responsible for taking out the large kitchen garbage (into which my younger son empties all the smaller cans from around the house) and the recyclables whenever they are full and need to go out. Now, he can't seem to see that most times for the life of him - and we have to often remind, but he does do it. He's also in charge of emptying the cat's litter box and refilling that. Once a week, he rolls all the outside cans to the curb and brings them back. This used to be twice a week, but our pickup has changed. He's done this since he was 11. "15 yo ds: Same except he cleans the toilet and sweeps in the bathroom. He is often asked to help knead bread and bake cookies and to "be in charge" if we go out." - Well, as I said, older ds is responsible for the entire bathroom. He's also supposed to clean the powder room on the first floor and the basement bathroom, but getting this done is somewhat like pulling a permanent tooth. We added this when he was about 14. We also tried to add vacuuming the den, but that's never really gotten routinized, either, and my husband generally does that. I do not ask him to cook for the family, but he regularly cooks for himself when he's home and wants an extra meal. He's been doing this, again, since he was about 11. I do not leave my younger son with him because I cannot trust them together not to burn down the house, but that's another story.... He is often asked to help with cleanup of the basement media room, which is his primary hangout these days. He helps with keeping the car cleaned out, too (which we live in). He mows the lawn weekly during the grass growing season. He volunteered a couple of hours a week at a local library last year. He had to complete 15 hours of service work for his school. He has 20 hours this year, and another 30 for a theatre group in which he's participating. He's looking at helping with our summer swim team this summer, and lifeguarding, as well. He wants to get a job for pay of some sort. He's been on a year round swim team since he was 11. They mostly swim for about 3 hours a day, at least 6 days a week, so it's rather like a job (5-10 miles a day). He also has to travel a ton for swim things and he's totally responsible for all his stuff he needs to do that. He's forgotten his suit maybe once; and his entire backpack once, but other than that he's been fine. He'll start driving sometime this summer and will be responsible for care of his car at that time, too. The younger one will be 11 soon, and he'll be starting in with some of these same routines at that time. He'll do his own bedroom and clothes (which he's already been helping with since he was a toddler); he'll continue with the smaller trashcans and I'll put him on bathroom duty for the two smaller bathrooms that never got picked up by the older one. When the older one goes off to college, he'll pick up more of those duties. I think the important thing is that most of these things take about 5 minutes to do, and even the lengthiest only take about 30 minutes at most. Perhaps setting a timer and showing them how little time they really have to spend on these items would be helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth in SW WA Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Whattdya think. Meanest mom ever? No, you're a great mom! My older dc are mini-parents. They do everything. Dishes, cooking, cleaning (between cleaning lady visits), garbage, yard work, projects, etc ON TOP OF taking care of little sisters when needed. Whine-free zone here :) When you whine, your work is doubled (goes for school work too). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon in SC Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 My kids like to tell me that I'm the meanest, strictest mom EVER. No one else makes their kids do chores around the house. NONE of their friends have ANY CHORES AT ALL! Like I said in another post - one of my kid was in tears today because he had to wash the dishes twice - because he hadn't really washed them the first time! So, let's have 'em! Bring out your chore lists. Am I truly the meanest mom there is? Just for reference here's my basic list: 13 yo ds: make bed, clean room, put away clothes, wipe down sink, counter and mirror in bathroom (once per week), wash, dry and put away dishes one meal per day (usually lunch, sometimes dinner - this is generally a shared chore, but the boys broke the dishwasher so right now they're eaching taking one meal to do on their own - we're also doing this to isolate who is doing such a horrendous job because the dishes in the cupboard keep being dirty when I get them out). Occasionally he's asked to throw the clothes in the washer into the dryer or to bring them upstairs. Occasionally he's asked to fold his own clothes. Otherwise they appear as if by magic on his bed for him to put away. He takes out the trash. When he remembers to. 15 yo ds: Same except he cleans the toilet and sweeps in the bathroom. He is often asked to help knead bread and bake cookies and to "be in charge" if we go out. Both are asked to help out occasionally with household projects and getting our rentals ready to rent. The oldest does waaaaaaay more of this than the 13 yo. Months pass in between times. Every so often they are also asked to help pick up an extra room - the rec room or living room. Generally takes 15 - 30 minutes. Whattdya think. Meanest mom ever? My 16 and 12 yo do from one given day to the next whatever the home team (ie family) needs them to do to keep the home fires burning. :) We're a team and try to operate as one. This means that while needs may vary from one day to the next, we're all on deck (or shall I say called on deck, ;-P, if need be) to get bases covered. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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