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HELP! I need SOCIALIZATION ideas.


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I need some ideas for "socialization" for my 10yo ds.

 

1. There are no kids his age in our neighborhood.

 

2. He is the oldest child in the family and the next oldest is my other son who is 4yo. The other neices and nephews are 4yo and under.

 

3. He has one friend he has known for a while (the ds of my friend) but they live somewhat far and he only sees him maybe once a month.

 

4. He has little to no traditional athletic ability so team sports are out. BTDT. He does golf during the summer (semi-social but mostly a solo activity). He shoots rifles competitively (completely a solo activity and the season is over). He takes piano lessons (another solo activity).

 

5. He loves Legos but there are no Lego League teams any where near here and I do not have the time or the know-how to coach one.

 

6. We have not found a church home since we moved here 8 months ago. We have been to at least 10 different churches. Maybe more. He went to a youth group at a nearby church for a few weeks but the kids in it were so horrible I made him stop going. At one point, a kid in this youth group called him a name and pushed him. At church? Give me a break. We are still looking as I know this would give him at least one opportunity to meet people and make friends.

 

7. I work full time so I am not able to engage in most homeschool group activities as they always seem to be scheduled during the middle of the day. Even if I didn't work I don't know how we would fit these activities in as he does his lessons during the day.

 

8. The nearest homeschool co-op is about a 40-minute drive, their classes leave something to be desired and would require my dh to take him (he would do it but I feel bad making him sit there for several hours with a bunch of women).

 

So what do I do??? His only interaction is with his 4yo brother at this point. He needs more. He needs to make friends in both structured and unstructured environments. It doesn't have to be every day but once a week would be nice, ya know? Problem is, I am picky about who I let him hang around and he isn't interested in your "typical" group activities like little league baseball or soccer, etc.

 

Anyone have a non-sport child involved in some kind of group activity that is both wholesome and allows your son to make friends? I'm really at a loss. :confused:

Edited by Heather in NC
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((Heather and Kyle!)):grouphug::grouphug:

 

You are welcome to come here to play!! I'm serious! Or, we could meet at a park somewhere and let the kids run wild (er, um . . . I mean, free!).

 

What about karate? That's an individual sport that is done in a group environment. My boys are in it and I've been very happy with it.

 

I hope you find something. Your boys are such sweet kids!

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How about boys scouts or 4H?

 

I'm not sure there is a 4H around here (I live near Detroit in the city). I don't know much about 4H. Doesn't it have something to do with raising animals or something like that?

 

Boy scouts is a possibility if we could find a group nearby that meets on my husband's night off (Tuesday) so he could chaperone. I won't let ds go without dh as I have read too many "boy scout abuse" stories. Hmmm...I'll have to check into that.

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((Heather and Kyle!)):grouphug::grouphug:

 

You are welcome to come here to play!! I'm serious! Or, we could meet at a park somewhere and let the kids run wild (er, um . . . I mean, free!).

 

What about karate? That's an individual sport that is done in a group environment. My boys are in it and I've been very happy with it.

 

I hope you find something. Your boys are such sweet kids!

 

You are such a sweetheart. Well, we would love a playdate if you are willing to meet in the evening or on the weekends. Other boys we have met through homeschool groups never seem to be available when we are. :(

 

He did karate when he was 6yo and hated it. But we are thinking of giving it another try now that he is older. But those classes don't really allow for much interaction, either.

 

The other day he asked us if we would adopt a boy his age because he wants a friend. :(

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Does your library have any programs of interest? Ours has a pre-teen & a teen book club that meets every couple of weeks.

 

Could you email a local hs group & see if anyone has a 10 or 11yo that would want to get together just to play/hang out? I'd mention your ds' interests (outdoorsy stuff, or playing computer games, or whatever he would like to get together to do). Perhaps you could mention starting a group to get 10-12yos together once or twice a month (on a day/time that's good for you) -- movie night at someone's house, roller/ice skating, park day, etc....

 

What about something like a rock climbing class? That can be solitary, but also done in a group.

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My son attends Boy Scouts that is affiliated with a private Christian school. It has been a great way for him to be around other boys doing boy things that don't involve traditional sports. It has been a good father/son activity too. The scouts have a rule that two adults must be with the scouts at all times because of those abuse problems from years ago. Our ds started cub scouts when he was 10 and in the fifth grade. We wish we had started him sooner; it has been such a positive experience. I hope you can find one that works with your schedule.

 

Sue

Edited by Evergreen State Sue
word omission
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Heather, I'm not sure where you are. I'm about an hour north of Detroit. One of the story time librarians at our library knows that I homeschool, and she's involved with 4H. I don't know much about it either, and my guys are a bit young (3 and 5), but they do have groups in our area. In fact, the librarian said she was going to bring me some information about the club, but then story time took a break for the holidays. We'll be starting back next week, and I'll ask her for it again. If you want to pm me and let me know where you're located, I can ask her if she knows of any clubs close to you.

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How about YMCA Adventure Guides? It's meant for kids who're in school, so the meetings would be in the evenings. They are organized in groups by school, so look for one that's affiliated with an elementary school close to you, so that the boys live nearby. They meet as father/son pairs 1-2x month and do weekend activities, as well, including camp outs.

 

When your son hits it off with a boy (or five), he will have more options for play dates, etc., outside of regular meetings.

 

DH did "Indian Princesses" (as it was called then) with DD when she was in elementary school. Now, DS and DH are "Adventure Guides." DH has made a couple of friends, and DS has, as well.

 

Here's the link ot Detroit's groups.

http://www.ymcadetroit.org/site/c.iuIPLaMWJvE/b.4181517/

 

 

HIH,

 

Lisa

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You might want to check out any commities or groups that your local government has for young people be apart of. He can experience how government works and be with other kids while doing it.

 

As far as church groups instead of a youth group you could try Awana or Pioneer clubs.

 

I don't know if he likes to sing or act, but there are also choral or drama groups.

 

I hope you find something that helps :).

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I think scouts and library activities are a good place to start. I like Taekwondo for my boys but understand the non-sports thing. How about an afterschool MadScience camp or Schoolhouse chess club. There may also be some science clubs in the area.

I've noticed that my boys find lots of mates at their sibling's activities. When my youngest is at soccer practice for instance, the older plays with the other siblings tagging along. And vice versa. Maybe an activity for your little one might open a door for your 10yo.

HTH

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