Erica in PA Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 I was just visiting with my best friend from high school, who came to visit me for the day, and I'm so worried about her. She is 35 weeks pregnant, and suffering from extreme depression. She was on anti-depressants before pregnancy, but went off them because of the baby. (She is taking Prozac now instead but says it's not working for her at all.) She said she battles suicidal thoughts every day, all day. She checked herself into a program a few months ago, but they discharged her because she didn't "have a plan" for how she would commit suicide. She has therapy and a daily support group, but she said suicide is always on her mind. She said the only reason she hasn't done so already is because she doesn't want to hurt the baby. She's hoping that when the baby is born, she will be able to go back to her previous meds, and that she will begin to feel normal again. But she said she doesn't think she can make it another five weeks without giving in. I encouraged her to talk to her ob about inducing sooner, and she said she would try. I have known people who were induced for far less pressing issues than this! I hope that her ob will listen to her, and take her seriously. I would so appreciate prayers for her, if you're so inclined. Her name is Christy, and her baby is Keira. Also, if anyone else has battle pre-natal depression and has any helpful advice I would be happy to pass it on to her as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Does she have friends who she could stay with when here husband (is she married?) isn't with her? Sounds like she needs round -the- clock care...and then after baby is here...round-the-clock as well. Her situation could go from bad...to really bad... Praying for you all... Carrie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica in PA Posted January 2, 2009 Author Share Posted January 2, 2009 Does she have friends who she could stay with when here husband (is she married?) isn't with her? Sounds like she needs round -the- clock care...and then after baby is here...round-the-clock as well. Her situation could go from bad...to really bad...Praying for you all... Carrie Yes, her husband works from home, and when he has to go away on business her mom comes and stays with her. I am so glad that she has that support! Yes, I'm particularly concerned about after she has the baby. She said that the only reason she hasn't committed suicide already was because of the baby, and that she couldn't be sure what would happen after the baby is born. She's focused on holding out until the baby is born, but I'm concerned about what that might bring for her. This is her first baby, and she has a lot of anxiety about being a mother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Oh no!! That just makes my stomach turn. How terrible for her. I will definitely be praying. And I just wanted to tell you not to be afraid to step in. Talk to her husband or whatever you can do to help. I had a very dear friend who had severe postpartum depression and suicidal thoughts. Long story short, I ended up calling her mother and helping to get her committed to an inpatient women's psychiatric unit. It helped immensely. I know you said she had already been in the hospital, but I wouldn't let that stop me from trying to get her more help. You can call her OB office too. They won't tell you any information, but you can let them know your concerns. OB docs take that very seriously! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phathui5 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Mothering.dom has a postpartum depression sub-forum: http://www.mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay.php?f=28 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Since she is focused on staying alive to protect the baby, it might help her hang in longer to help her see how the baby NEEDS her after she is born too. She really needs to get on meds that work for her. There's got to be something else she can take other than prozac. Even if it is a class C or D, the risks may be worth it in this case. Same with after the baby is born. If the meds that work for her aren't good for a nursing mom, she should go on them anyway and bottle feed...and that is coming from someone who supports extended breastfeeding in all possible cases. An alive and happy mom is far more important than breastfeeding. I'm just saying she shouldn't let that stop her from getting on her meds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camibami Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 At this point in her pregnancy, birth defects are not a concern, she should be able to take her regular meds. This certainly sounds like a case where the benefits greatly outweigh the risks! Can you talk to her DH and get him to speak with her Dr? I know many women downplay their feelings/symptoms to Drs, and maybe she hasn't let her Dr know how incredibly serious this is. Gosh, poor thing. Unfortunately, I *can* imagine what she is going through, having gone through it after my youngest was born. Its the most awful thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 If the prozac is not working have her talk to her dr (or ask her dh to) about celexa/citalopram. It is what I take during pregnancy and post partum while bfing to deal with post partum depression (actually it start during the pregnancy itself). It is very safe, especially at this late stage of the game. SOmething else that her dh can talk to the ob about is possibly inducing her right at 37 weeks to get her back on the old meds she was on sooner rather than later. Depression is so hard, and right after delivery her hormones will crash making it worse so an immediate plan of attack so to speak has to be developed, whether that means she stays admitted in the hospital immediately after the birth until the meds are working, or she starts them now so they will be fully working by the time she delivers, otherwise all the will power to keep living may disappear within days of deliver when the hormones plummet. I think it is time to talk to her dh being completely open about what she told you. I know with my first 2, I was not completely open about my depression with my dh because I didn't want him to think I was crazy or incompetent as a mother. She may be downplaying it a bit to him or the dr. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kris Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 She must be terrified. I don't know what having a "plan" for suicide has to do with it. Of course I'm not a professional, but it only takes a second to make the decision. I *really* hope she can get some help. I just want to throw in a warning here that even after the baby is born, you guys can't let your guard down. If she remains seriously depressed, her old medication regimen may not be effective anymore. Too many seriously depressed mothers come to the conclusion that suicide is the only option, because now they are terrible mothers, too. And if she feels no one else can care for her baby . . . Thank goodness she has such a good friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tea Time Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 And I just wanted to tell you not to be afraid to step in. :iagree: Don't assume that the doctor(s) will handle it. It may seem very invasive, but I think if it were me, I would really long for someone very commanding to come in and take charge in this situation. If you can't do that, of course, perhaps you can encourage someone else to do so, like the mother or the husband(?). I have found so many people very passive where medical care is concerned. They will sit along side and expect the "system" to deal with it. Don't they know best? Isn't that their job? Maybe, but it won't do you any good to think of that after something awful happens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenneinCA Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Please, please have someone she will talk to about these feelings around after the baby is born. The hormonal crash after birth can be devastating. And as awful as this sounds, please make sure someone is there to watch the baby. I had PPD after the birth of my second child and it was absolutely terrifying to have those thoughts. I figured out something was massively wrong and got help, but it was still really really bad. My husband says the day he left me with my daughter (almost 2) and newborn son alone and went to work for the first time was one of the scariest days of his life. Even with me on meds. (Just in case someone reads this later, PPD can happen on the first child or the second or third or more. If you or someone you care about is depressed. Please get help. ) Jenne in CA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 She must be terrified. I don't know what having a "plan" for suicide has to do with it. When someone gets very serious about suicide, they begin to formulate a plan for how and when they will kill themselves. I know this simply because about 6 years ago, I was at that stage. I was planning on asking a good friend to babysit my children later in the afternoon (so she wouldn't be stuck babysitting for very long) so I could go to a doctor's appointment. Only, I wasn't going to a doctor's appointment. I was going to a secluded area of town and cut my throat. I didn't want to do it at home because I didn't want my kids/husband to find me or have a mess to clean up. Of course, I didn't tell anyone about my plan...and she may have a plan but not telling anyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kris Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 When someone gets very serious about suicide, they begin to formulate a plan for how and when they will kill themselves. I know this simply because about 6 years ago, I was at that stage. I was planning on asking a good friend to babysit my children later in the afternoon (so she wouldn't be stuck babysitting for very long) so I could go to a doctor's appointment. Only, I wasn't going to a doctor's appointment. I was going to a secluded area of town and cut my throat. I didn't want to do it at home because I didn't want my kids/husband to find me or have a mess to clean up. Of course, I didn't tell anyone about my plan...and she may have a plan but not telling anyone. I agree that there *can* be a plan, but apparently she was discharged simply because she didn't have one -- or didn't tell them about it. Considering everything else this woman is going through, I find it disturbing that this was "it." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Sometimes it takes a lot to convince people you REALLY need help. This is where the OP probably needs to step in. Her friend may not be able to convey how serious it is. It took me calling my doctor in the middle of a crisis to get medical help...then he was able to experience just how bad it was...and boy did he move quickly after that. Before that day, I was too afraid of CPS taking my kids away to tell someone how bad it was. That day I thought I'd seriously hurt my children if someone didn't help me...if was finally bad enough to risk losing my kids over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Remind her that, when the baby is born, her committing suicuide will hurt the baby so much worse. She is thinking that she doesn't want to physically harm the baby...has she thought of how growing up without a mother...or worse, one that CHOSE to take herself away...will hurt that child for life emotionally? Your poor friend. Has she talked to her previous dr about her suicide thoughts? Maybe the risks to the baby of her going back on her previous meds are less than the benefits she would receive by taking the meds! They told me that when I was pregnant...if my mental state depended on the meds, it was better to take them...especially after the baby was a certail age gestation (I have OCD and extreme hypochondria, but have never thought of suicide...just the opposite actually). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yvonne Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 (edited) Having suffered ppd, I second the previous poster's comment about calling her OB. You have to let the OB know. And try to talk to the OB directly, not through a nurse. Your friend was probably a lot more open with you than with her OB, and possibly more than she was with her dh. I know I didn't want my dh to know how badly I was feeling. My mother was the one who stepped in for me. The OB can't give you any info about her, but you can let him/her know about your conversations so he/she can be more watchful. It's also possible that she told you hoping that you'd help, even if she couldn't talk directly to her dh/OB. You won't be able to forgive yourself if you don't and anything happens. ETA: Another thing that might help her is, when she talks about suicide or similar thoughts, remind her that "that's the depression talking." I know that was one thing that made me feel better, made me more aware of when I wasn't being myself, and, when I'd recovered, kept me from feeling guilty about anything stupid I'd said/thought. Please call. yvonne Edited January 3, 2009 by yvonne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica in PA Posted January 3, 2009 Author Share Posted January 3, 2009 Thank you all so much for your helpful replies. I am going to try to contact my friend's dh in the next few days, and make sure that he knows everything that she told me, and encourage him to talk to her OB. I'm also going to call her frequently, to stay in touch. And of course I'm going to be praying for her and the baby. I appreciate all of your support and prayers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica in PA Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 Update: I just got off the phone with Christy's husband, and we had a good conversation. He is so supportive of her, and he is really trying to help her. Her ob pretty much nixed the idea of inducing early, but I suggested calling her psychiatrist and asking him to talk to her ob. The psychiatrist had said to her previously that he considers it medically necessary, so hopefully he would convey that to the ob. The psychiatrist also upped her doseage of the anti-depressants she's on, since she's so close to delivery and there's little risk to the baby at this point. Or at least, the risk of not medicating is greater than the risks of the medicine itself. I'm still praying, but knowing that her husband is aware of the severity of the problem does help me feel a bit better. Thank you again for all of the advice you all posted here-- it helped me to feel more confident in taking a strong stand for my friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OH_Homeschooler Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 I had pre-natal depression (lower level, I was not suicidal). It's so hard to find information on, because everyone is so focused on post-partum. It might help to switch anti-depressants. I was put on Zoloft because I was told this was safe for breastfeeding. Other than that, I have no suggestions, just support. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 What were her previous meds? I would be tempted to ask her psychiatrist if there was any way she could resume previous medications at this point. I'm bipolar. I was on neurontin and zoloft and lamictal, and I remained on them throughout both pregnancies. The risk of going off was just too great, and given that there were no studies indicating harm, ob and psychiatrist both agreed I should stay on them. Both kids seem fine so far.... :D I understand why the OB would be concerned about inducing at 35 weeks. But if she can hang on for another two weeks, till 37 weeks (or even 36), would he be ok with inducing? Yeah, she needs someone to stay with her. And once the baby is born, she needs someone with her. Although I believe nursing is so so important (can she breastfeed on her meds? Don't just ask OB; check with Hales), she needs someone to watch the baby so she can get some good quality sleep. Sleep deprivation can make depression much worse....... I do think that nursing can help depression a great deal. The feel good hormones really were a huge boost to me. And there was this entire human being subsisting totally on me. I felt needed and loved and irreplaceable, which is in itself very very healing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Erica, Thanks for the update. Still praying for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica in PA Posted January 8, 2009 Author Share Posted January 8, 2009 Her psychiatrist did agree to increase her dosage of the current medication she's taking (Prozac), but whatever she was taking before can't be taken at any stage of pregnancy, from what she told me. I wish her OB were willing to induce at 37 weeks--- that is what she was asking for, but he wasn't willing to consider it. I think it's silly, myself, to refuse an induction in this situation. On top of everything else, Christy has gestational diabetes, and her baby is already over 8 pounds at 35 weeks, and she is a small girl. If she goes full-term, her baby will likely be 10 pounds or more, and there is a good chance she will need a C-section anyway. Not to mention that if a mother is suicidal, I would say that the risk of inducing a healthy, full-term baby is far outweighed by that risk. It makes me angry, actually. I have to wonder if the primary concern of this OB is truly the health and safety of Christy and her baby, or legal concerns. :confused: She is already resolved to not nursing. Even though I am a huge supporter of breastfeeding, even I have to agree that in this case, Christy being on the most powerful, most effective meds she can possibly be on is going to be best for everyone. And feeling guilty about not nursing should be the least of her worries right now, so I'm not pressing her on that issue. Thank you for your post. It is reassuring to know that you have been able to manage similar problems, and still have happy, healthy children, and to do well yourself as well. That is encouraging!! Erica Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica in PA Posted January 12, 2009 Author Share Posted January 12, 2009 UPDATE-- Wonderful News!! Seemingly out of the blue, (but I believe as an act of God's intervention), Christy's OB called her on Friday and said that the practice has decided to grant her request for an induction, this Thursday!!!! At her previous appt., he had given no indication that this was even a possibility, and in fact both Christy and her husband thought the matter was closed. She wanted this so badly, so that she can get back on her old medications and be in a much safer place mentally. I am praising the Lord for His goodness! She is going to have an amnio done on Tuesday, to check the baby's lungs and make sure they are developed enough, but I wouldn't think that would be a problem since she is 37 weeks. If those results are good, she'll be induced early Thursday morning! :party: I realize, and Christy and her husband do as well, that things could get worse for her before they get better. But I can't help but see this as a positive first step in her healing. Of course, prayer is still needed as well, for the birth, and because she may have a rough next few weeks as her medications are adjusted. But I am just so happy for her that she got this bit of good news!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 I'm so excited for all of you, Erica! It seems like a good step to me, too. You sound like a sweet friend! Chelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica in PA Posted January 17, 2009 Author Share Posted January 17, 2009 Christy had her baby yesterday! They induced her at 37 weeks, as she had requested, and everything went beautifully. Christy sounded great on the phone, happier than I've heard her for quite a while. The baby, Keira Madison, weighed 8.8 lbs and was 21.5 inches long! Just think how big she'd have been in another three weeks on her due date?! Her OB said it was definitely the right decision to induce. I'll be going to visit and see the baby sometime next week. As many of you mentioned before, the darkest days of pregnancy related depression can come in the days and weeks after the birth, so I would appreciate any prayers on Christy's behalf as she recovers and seeks to find the right medications. But for now, we celebrate!! :party: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plain jane Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 Christy had her baby yesterday! They induced her at 37 weeks, as she had requested, and everything went beautifully. Christy sounded great on the phone, happier than I've heard her for quite a while. The baby, Keira Madison, weighed 8.8 lbs and was 21.5 inches long! Just think how big she'd have been in another three weeks on her due date?! Her OB said it was definitely the right decision to induce. I'll be going to visit and see the baby sometime next week. As many of you mentioned before, the darkest days of pregnancy related depression can come in the days and weeks after the birth, so I would appreciate any prayers on Christy's behalf as she recovers and seeks to find the right medications. But for now, we celebrate!! :party: I'm glad it all went well. She's very fortunate to have a loving friend like you. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean too Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 Praying for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heidi @ Mt Hope Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 Thanks for the update. I had been wondering about her. Sending prayers her way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 I was wondering about her too. Thanks for the update, and I will continue praying for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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