WWYD? No Christmas tree yet...

[Tap]

We usually put up our tree 2-3 weeks before Christmas. This year we still don't have a tree. Three weeks ago we had illnesses at work so I had to work extra shifts, we still had two more weeks...no problem.

 

Two weeks ago the baby got a stomach bug and puked for 5 days straight, so I was running on no sleep. Then dh got really (!) sick...no problem, we still have over a week.

 

Then the baby got bronchitis, dd10 got sick and a snow storm hit our area. No problem, we can do it on the weekend.

 

The weekend we spent snowed in with intermittent ice storms. We are outside of Portland, Oregon where they have closed parts of the interstate and requiring chains for the entire city. All 'non-essential government, most small businesses, and some major ones are closed. We have a over a foot of snow and if you could get to a tree lot, if you could find one open, the trees are buried under ice and snow :0(

 

 

We drive a VW Golf and an Accord. If we could find a relatively dry tree (we have to transport it inside a car), it would be at a Home Depot or similar and it would be almost dead.

 

Dh will have a very long day tomorrow, and I work late. So, that leaves Wednesday to get a tree, if we can get one.

 

 

So, here is the dilemma...to tree or not to tree?

 

We have 3 skinny, decorator, little trees. A little cluster of a 4', 3', 2' trees. They will only hold tiny decorations. We usually have a tree that touches the ceiling that is full of the kids special ornaments. Our trees usually take a couple of hours to decorate, and double that to put away. I really, really hate the idea of spending 6 hours decorating and undecorating a tree for 2 days. It will only last that long I am certain because it will have to be a very dead Home Depot tree.

 

 

I mentioned to ds14 that we may just have the baby trees this year...he was upset and jokingly (but with serious eyes) said it would be a mockery of our holiday. He says we must have the real tree but agrees that we could decorate it simply with just balls and lights, skipping the bulk of the work.

 

Dd10 says the mini trees are fine and is eager to make mini decorations. But she says if we do have a real tree, it is most important to her to not have balls and lights, but to have the special ornaments.

 

 

Dd2 loves the box, any box.

 

Dh sees the amount of work, but also feels we need a real tree (despite my efforts over the years to buy a nice artificial tree). I decorate our tree with the kids, dh isn't really involved much. He isn't a gentle guy, so I wouldn't want him handling the special ornaments...I would trust dd2 almost more than him. Christmas dosen't have happy memories from childhood for him, so he tends to 'check out' at some family events.

 

I really don't care if we have fake trees. It is simpler.

 

Ds14 is the only one who really cares to the point of being obviously upset. Not crying upset, just bummed. To top it off he is only getting two small presents this year..total. He got a laptop this fall that is part of his present. He completly agreed to it, but I know on Christmas morning it won't feel the same.

 

If I do a tree...it will be only for ds14.

 

 

WWYD?

[Michelle T]

At this point, I prefer to just let it go, as we get a real tree, and I can't see spending all that money for something that will be trash in a week.

 

But DH will probably insist, and go out and buy one anyway.

 

In your case, I guess it depends on how badly your 14 year old will feel. If it is going to ruin his holiday, I'd probably go ahead and do the tree.

Michelle T

[Aggie]

Well, as much as I've grown to detest the tree, I would put up a real tree and decorate it like your ds wants to.

 

And I usually don't cater to one individual when it's *me* who is doing the bulk of the work :001_smile:

 

It just sounds like this will really make his Christmas. Could you put him in charge of decorating it?

[katilac]

honestly, if he were more upset about not using the special ornaments, I'd probably weaken and buy the tree. but just to have the real tree, for a couple of days, on top of what all has been going on? nope, wouldn't do it.

 

I'd be more likely to haul down a box of the special ornaments, and just pull them out, look at them, and talk about them. Let each kid pick one or two to put in their room or something.

 

If you really feel bad, it's time to see just how important it is to ds14. "I'd love to get the real tree, but I simply don't have time to do that AND all these yucky chores. If you help me do A, B and C, then I'll have time to go get the tree. Totally up to you, dude."

 

If it's not important enough for him to do some extra work, I'd say it's not too important.

[swellmomma]

My tree is up but we have not decorated it yet. We didn't even set it up for the past 2 years because of how chaotic life seems to always be(last year I had a new baby at home). There will be no lights on it this year, I don't want to deal with them, but the kids will put up all their special ornaments tomorrow.

[Danestress]

you aren't going to have him forever at Christmas, and I think it's nice that he is sentimental. I think we tend to discount the feelings of males about sentimental holiday traditions. If he wants it, he's the oldest child and has the fewest years left as a child of your home at Christmas, and I would honor him with a tree.

 

Once it's up, I would let DD really decorate it if she wants and if she wants to commit to taking it down later. Otherwise, I would convince her to compromise on decorations.

[hornblower]

I'd get a tree & put it up. I'd wing the decorations - just see how you're feeling. If you get tired, just stop putting the decorations on.

 

When I was growing up, I remember a couple years we had to go on foot to the tree lot (can't remember why but I suspect the Fiat was in the shop. It often was). Mind you, we lived in a city so it's not like hiking from the suburbs but still, several miles round trip pulling a sled with the tree on it. My dad was away working and my mom lugged the sucker upstairs to our 7th floor flat & we dressed it. FWIW, our trees never went up till around th 22nd or 23rd, and the 24th was not unheard of either...... It stayed tup ill Jan 6 though.

Edited December 23, 2008 by hornblower

[Mari]

Hi.

 

Does your family's religious affiliation allow you to celebrate according to a liturgical calendar? For instance, I'm Catholic so we celebrate the season of Advent, which is the time to prepare for Christ's birth. Technically, for us, the season of Christmas is separate and begins on Christmas day and lasts until Epiphany (12 days later), which will take you past New Years. When you consider Christmas to be the separate joyous season to celebrate Christ's birth, you'll have all the more reason to decorate your house for a party!

 

My point is your entire family could put up a tree together joyfully and casually on Christmas Eve and focus on the celebration actually beginning on Christmas day. Your house would be so beautiful and comforting to your entire family, not just your son. Who knows, it could be the beginning of a new tradition for your family, focusing more on Christ rather than the stress of feeling forced to do it in the first place.

 

Looking at it this way, it stretches out the time to enjoy the fruits of your decorating labor, too.

 

Take care,

 

Mari

[Retired]

I would get a artificial tree so your kids will be happy and the money want be a total waste.

 

I did this about 5 years ago we closed on a house December 20, moved in December 21 and set up a tree on the 23 for our boys. It was a stressful week but I wanted the boys to feel like it was home. I even managed to cook a full Christmas meal.

 

That was the most stressful year ever.

[RoughCollie]

I'd get a tree, put it up, and let the kids decorate it.

 

When I was a kid, we put up our tree on Christmas Eve, because my mother is German.

 

RC

[KathyBC]

I would get the tree. Traditions are even more important during stressful years. Let the kids do as much of the decorating as possible. And then you can always look back and say, "Remember the year when we bought the tree on the 24th? The baby was sick and we had the big snowstorm."

 

We've had a few crazy Christmases and they've become part of our family mythology, you know?

[Amy in NY]

Due to my working schedule and weather, we still haven't gotten our tree. We usually go out to a local tree farm on a mountain here, hike around and cut one down. Well, I have to work today, then go into the city (not NYC) to finish shopping. By the time I get home, it will be too dark to get a tree.

 

I could go shopping tomorrow morning before work so that we could get the tree tonight but we are supposed to get another storm. So, no shopping and no time to get a tree. My kids, who are all awake - woohoo - just suggested that we cut down a very small tree growing in our yard. I've always resisted that but today, it sounds like a very good idea.

 

So, while I have no real advice, you are not alone in your tree dilemma. If it was just dh and myself, I'd say skip the tree. But routine and tradition are important to kids. Therefore, Dh will be chopping down one of our trees today (which means my neighbors will be able to see more into my yard. Yuck.)

Edited December 23, 2008 by Amy in NY

[ChristyB in TN]

Sometimes we do things here and the kids don't want to or don't understand why... you know, then after the fact, they get a big, warm feeling when they look back on it. A couple of years ago, my dd was very sick and stuck in the bed with a very high temp during Thanksgiving. We canceled all the guests and ate turkey sandwiches on the bed together. The kids look back on it now as their favorite Thanksgiving ever. It happens. Of course, that's my personality. I would happily throw our tree in the garbage and never replace the darn thing. Someday...

[Erica in PA]

You'll probably only have a few more Christmas's with your 14 still living at home... I'd get the tree for him.

[hsmom]

I would also get a tree.

 

Now if you look into it, Home depo has some nice fake pre lighted trees for reasonable prices. Now you might even get it cheaper since it is so close to Christmas. You can also by a spray, or some place carry an ornament that smells like a real tree that you hang on your fake tree. HTH

[lionfamily1999]

Get a Charlie Brown Tree. IOW, find the lonliest saddest little tree in the lot and take it home. Then you can feel like you did your good deed ;)

[LisaKinVA]

I don't know what I'd do... makes me very glad I grew up with a fake tree, so that's all I've ever known.

[at the beach]

I would get a tree. I'd also let my son take charge of the decorating and taking down like others suggested. It seems like this is an important tradition to him. Christmas Eve is a fine time to choose and decorate a tree. I think it would be fine even with just lights and a star on top with a few other items.

 

Anita

[JudoMom]

you aren't going to have him forever at Christmas, and I think it's nice that he is sentimental. I think we tend to discount the feelings of males about sentimental holiday traditions. If he wants it, he's the oldest child and has the fewest years left as a child of your home at Christmas, and I would honor him with a tree.

 

Once it's up, I would let DD really decorate it if she wants and if she wants to commit to taking it down later. Otherwise, I would convince her to compromise on decorations.

 

:iagree:. Do the tree. The fact that he cares at 14 says a lot.