Many of the companies that hire in home medical transcriptionists will provide the computer for free. Do your research about this and apply to those that do provide them. I know two people in this field who never had to pay one penny for their computer system BUT I'm not sure if it's only meant to be used for work and not personal use. Again, good luck!

I'm happy for you that you have an appointment. Hopefully you will feel better about your situation knowing that temporary relief is near. I would ask your caseworker for referrals to household budgeting help, nutrition counseling, and education/ vo-tech training help as well. I know there are many grant funded programs out there that you may also qualify for while you are receiving assistance. These programs are set up to give you extra time to pursue training in a lucrative career field that perhaps you can do at home. Good luck to you.

sOnic, You've lost this debate with your lack of compassionate tone. You haven't helped the original OP with any of your judgemental/overly critical/holier than thou/arrogant comments. Instead, you've probably made her feel worse. For the sake of not shaming more people on this board who need to humbly ask for support and encouragement, stop now. Please.

Well, Mejane, it appears as if some on this thread lacks compassion for those who need to apply for it. Sadly, the OP humbly came to the hive seeking advice but the thread was seriously hijacked several pages ago by overly critical and judgemental folk with no regard to the additional shame this woman is already feeling.

Sounds great but since it's not happening as much as is necessary, I still don't mind FS tax dollars being used to feed hungry families on a TEMPORARY basis. And I don't mind giving a hand UP through our tax dollars (as opposed to a hand out) either as can be achieved in education and training programs so that they don't have to keep relying on assistance, no matter where it comes from. The system CAN work as long as the waste, fraud and abuse is not tolerated. The OP was concerned about an intrusion in her family's freedom to homeschool should she apply for FS. Some say it's possible this might happen, while others say it won't. IMHO, it doesn't matter because either way, homeschooling or not, she and her husband still need to put food on the table. That takes priority over homeschooling, period. However, I must say that I don't think anyone on this board wants others to go hungry but we need to be compassionate with our thoughts toward anyone in this situation because as a previous poster summed up, "There but for the grace of God go I."

:iagree:

See, this is the problem, though. Time itself will not change a situation but specific actions on the OP's part will. Many, MANY people have 2 yr old twins plus other children yet they do make it. Maybe not as well as others, but they do make it. She and her husband ABSOLUTELY needs to worry about their future because when that time comes, she may not have enough money to "go to work, school, or whatever she decides." She has to be proactive NOW before her situation gets worse. Applying for FS can be a blessing temporarily but it's not designed for a long term fix of four years. Plus, the amount they get monthly is not always that much for what you are sacrificing.

Wanted to answer this earlier but am finally able to. To answer your question, the numbers were skewed to say the least. I was so frustrated in this line of work because I just couldn't agree with the gov't definition of "achieving self-sufficiency." The goal was for clients to "get a job, ANY job" and successes were counted when people would find a job and stay off of welfare for 3 months. That's it! Hardly a measurement for success, IMO, especially since those same families would reapply for assistance shortly thereafter (because they were not able to keep the job) only to become NEW cases. I remember President Clinton talk about the successes of welfare reform. It sickened me, really, because the numbers made him look good, as if his platform and admn significantly reduced the welfare rolls when really, it was number fudging at its best. Same was true when Bush was in office but I was comforted by what seemed to be a stronger push for education and training. I don't know how it all works in the end for every family on welfare but I can say the successes I saw came when education or vo-tech training and employment skills training were offered while receiving assistance. Sadly, there is not enough money in state/federal budgets to provide this for everyone on assistance. Equally sad is that not everyone offered the opportunites would follow through in maintaining their employment. For instance, we had a lot of clients who would receive training and education, find a job, get off assistance, do well for a while, then lose their job because of a variety of reasons either in or out of their control. What I do know is that there is no shame in applying for welfare as long as it is temporary. There's a significant loss of freedom, pride, and self esteem in applying so let it be your last resort if at all possible. My advice to the OP is to look for ways to continue cutting out ALL unnecessary expenses, stick to a strict budget, and look into grant funded or state education and training programs.

Aww, I liked "Disney Dude!" I thought Little Aaron should have left before Tim.

Well said!!!

:iagree:

No...that's just being mean. This applies to your previous replies as well. One of the perks to using the EBT card is that no one can pass judgement on their method of payment, or the reason they are on FS in the first place. Maybe the card is being used but not everything can be paid for with FS. Did you know that a large percentage of enlisted military personnel are on FS? These active duty folk work HARD for their families defending all of US everyday and still need subsidies because their pay is so low. What about the families who foster children and consequently need a little more money to feed the extra mouths to feed? You don't know the circumstances for which these families have to face the shame of applying for FS in the first place. You're entitled to your own opinion but you really are coming across as judgemental and mean spirited.

What you are saying is true but you must also realize it's also a political game...people are more willing to pay taxes to subsidize daycare for someone wanting to work (or look for work) than not at all. This was a huge part of the "welfare to work" legilation from years past. A big part of our jobs as social workers was to help unemployed moms realize transferrable skills they could take with them into the workforce. We stay-at-home moms are way more capable than we think! While it makes sense to stay at home and take care of the child herself, the funding agency's mindset is that daycare can help make her available to take the classes and work with others to help plan her future of self-sufficiency so she won't need to rely on those programs.

Well, I worked both programs in different states but I remember work (or looking for work) was a requirement for both. We had to show 80% compliance in this area in order to show we were helping our clients achieve "self sufficiency" (that's what they called it). We were encouraged to allow the other 20% leeway for life instances such as a nursing infant in the home, illness or injury, anything unexpected, etc. Our cases (in both TANF and FS) were audited so we had to show compliance or justify good cause for making up the 20%. MANY families had children under the age of six...that alone wouldn't prevent someone from being able to use the daycare subsidies that are available to help one work or look for work.

3and3, There are specific programs for which your family might qualify, not just food stamps. For instance, the program I worked with was called Temporary Assistance to Needy Families (TANF), and families could qualify for food stamps, financial assistance, day care, employment/education training, and medicaid all at once. There were also disability programs for which your husband might qualify. Have you contacted the office itself to ask about the eligibility requirements for homeschoolers? I'm sure they'll answer your questions about how you could prove attendance. I'm really baffled by the "not having to work if your children are under a certain age" belief expressed in this thread...it just goes against everything I remember as a caseworker. Then again, things might have changed since then. I will say that caseloads are so high that perhaps some caseworkers overlook certain things.

Hi. I thought I would chime in since I used to be a case worker who determined eligibility for food stamps. It was well over ten years ago and granted, requirements change, but for what it's worth, I'll give my two cents on what I can remember. I ran into several homeschoolers on my caseloads and it did come into play in determining eligibility in at least two states where I worked. The main reason was that all children were supposed to be enrolled in school full time in order to receive benefits. The way we worked it was that the family had to show verification of state compliance, that the school district was aware that the child was being homeschooled and not truant. Never were we to agree/disagree/pass judgement on the families' choice to homeschool, but instead only verify that they were compliant. Now, I did work in one state that did not have strict reporting laws for homeschooling families...Oklahoma...however, the families still had to show school enrollment in order to receive food stamps. There just was no getting around that eligibility requirement. So, in that state, families had to provide a "course of study" for each homeschooled child and show work samples during follow up meetings. It was the only way we caseworkers could verify that the child was receiving an education and check off the eligibility requirement. Now, the other side to receiving assistance is that case workers will definitely be in your chili about why you are not working. There are a lot of telecommuting jobs you can train for with states' assistance (medical transcriptionists, legal research assistants, medical insurance coder, plus a whole lot more). There are also online education programs for which you may qualify. Ask your caseworker about these types of opportunities. Good Luck!

I've used this before and really like it. http://family-centered.com/

I'm so sorry. I really have been thinking of you this weekend but alas, my kids and hubby took over on the computer and well, I just didn't have a chance of getting on again. I know it's hard to be apart, but I really think it will give your husband clarity in the situation. Even if it's only a week and his mom would probably feel better, too, not having to sneak around. He might even be able to find alternate living arrangements for you all if you ultimately go there to live. Good luck. I hope everything gets better for you all.

Hmm. I wonder how often her parents get on FB. I would tell the parents in a general concerned sort of way, prefacing it by saying you don't want to be judgemental but weren't sure if they had yet seen the photo and comments. I don't think anything is wrong with that and I would certainly welcome the concern if she were my daughter. It would actually open the door to discuss these sensitive and important issues with her. How often are you offering unsolicited advice? If you are constantly in their chili about their parenting choices it could come across in a negative way. If not, they may really appreciate your concern.

This might be a silly question...forgive me...but have you seen the movie Gran Torino? I loved that movie and I never thought I would. My husband picked it out and I reluctantly gave in to watch it with him. It has become one of my favorites with so many messages about overcoming stereotypes and racial and family differences. Definitely do NOT watch with DD within earshot. Anyhow, I'm reminded by this movie that, when given a chance to witness and receive kindness, friendship, and compassion; even the most bigoted can have a change of heart. I understand you not wanting DD to be a victim of FIL tirades. I just don't understand how it would be possible to stay behind the scenes and have no contact with him. What you are describing sounds like the beginning of a long road ahead...are you able to stay away from him for that long? What would your living arrangements be if you go there? It's late and I'm rambling here, but I wonder the toll this is taking on you husband, having to make these decisions and trying to factor in his support for you when he's feeling an obligation toward his parents. Might you consider DH going by himself first for awhile to assess the situation and get a clearer picture for himself? He may be able to secure outside help for her temporarily until long term arrangements must be made. At least it allows both of you the satisfaction knowing you are doing something for them and buys you some time in discussing this with your daughter.

This is exactly what I was wondering. There is a general "crankiness" that goes with aging but often there's more to the medical story contributing to it.

Thank you so much for posting this. I've been following the thread and feeling so sad for the OP (:grouphug: to her, by the way) but I've been struggling with the idea of what I would do in this situation. It's so difficult but I really do believe that most in most cases, it is possible to take lemons and make lemonade. I know others have responded that the OP should keep herself and DD at a distance I'm not sure that's the right thing to do given the ages of the inlaws. I can't imagine being a 70+ yr old woman wondering what's to become of herself as the man who has protected and provided for her is on a downward slope. There's gotta be some serious fear there, enough that she is sharing this with the only son she has to help them as they age. Who knows how cranky and horrible any of us will become in our old age. I think regardless of their attitudes in the past, the whole family should help them. It's just the right thing to do given that with all their shortcomings, they still raised the man the OP fell in love with. And I think the DD is old enough to realize what is going on and will realize the same as the boy did in the quote above. There will have to be a lot of discussion behind the scenes to help her see the bigger picture. It will definitely be a life lesson she'll never forget either but she'll also learn about unconditional love and the great character of her father who honored his parents to the end of their lives. She'll also learn about the strength of her mother who can look into the face of racism and hatred and still reach deep inside to find compassion and loyalty to support her husband through this difficult time.

Thanks to everyone who replied! I really appreciate your help.

Can you tell me how you schedule them? Do the lessons fall in line together or do you have to skip araound the OPGTR? Thanks!

Hi. Has anyone ever used these together? Could this be done without totally confusing a six year old? A little background...DD6 is learning to read with the Hooked on Phonics program (K level). It's working and she is very responsive to her lessons but there is a lot of sight reading and I'm not sure if this continues throughout the program. I'm just not sure if it can be a stand alone phonics program either. I've thought about using OPGTR or ETC series alongside, just to reinforce the lessons. Would this be too much?