Teens and sleeping in: How late is too late?

[LBC]

I'm trying to find the balance between allowing my teens to get the rest they need, and having them sleep the day away. With the holidays coming, my teens are wanting me to let them sleep in every day.

 

I'm wondering what others are doing, and why.

 

Lori

[Cedarmom]

Are you done with school? If so, let them sleep. If they have chores to do they need to have those done when you need them done , or if they are supposed to be somewhere, they need to be up. But part of the joy of holidays is staying up late and sleeping in late.

 

If school is not done, then you need to work out what fits the whole family schedule. Some people let their kids sleep in late and they just do their schoolwork later. I make my son get up at 7:30. Otherwise, he is just to slow moving, and it is a struggle to get him to finish school.

[Tammy]

I have a 15yo daughter....and a 13yo son.....My daughter stays up until around midnight....then sleeps until around 1pm. My son stays up until 3 or 4am....then sleeps in until 3 or 4pm.

 

OTOH....I stay up until 1 or 2am....and get up around 10 or 11am.

 

It seems to work for us though....

 

.

[StaceyinLA]

and my kids are staying up late, I have no limits on how late they can sleep. I WISH I could still sleep until 1 sometimes, but my body clock just won't let me.

 

Of course, I'm a night owl, and I stay up late so take that fwiw.

[Danestress]

My son and I were able to agree on 11:00 a.m. and that's when his brothers are allowed to wake him. He doesn't mind much either, because it's flattering how much they want him to get up and play with them, lol.

 

I actually enjoy DS sleeping in late. It gives me the morning to do violin practice with the twins and have them do some chores and reading before the ultimate toy (their brother!) wakes up. Also, I am not a morning person. So the fewer people hanging around trying to talk to me before I am caffinated, the better.

[kat19]

We tend to stay up late here~midnight.

 

So my son 13 and daughter 12 sleep until 10:30-11:00.

Edited December 18, 2008 by Kristafish

[PollyOR]

Are you all talking about just during the Christmas break?

 

My 13dd struggles with sleeping late (it's in the genes ;)). She could easily sleep until 12-1pm every day. She is struggling with depression (meds and counseling). I've been getting her up at 9:30am trying to help fight her depression/change her body clock. She's not happy about it.

[LBC]

Are you all talking about just during the Christmas break?

 

 

Right now I'm talking about Christmas break. We just started our break, and I'm having to drag them out of bed at 11:00. They're not happy, and want to sleep longer. I'm a night owl, so I do understand. Sometimes I wish my body would let me sleep in that long.

 

I'm a bit surprised that so many allow their teens to sleep in during school. I'm always worried that it will create bad habits for them, but I would rather not have to deal with their grumpy attitudes during school hours. I guess that's the reason for me asking "why" people do or don't let their teens sleep in. Will they still be able to cope with waking up when they need to? Or will their "clocks" get too messed up? :confused:

 

Lori

[Peela]

This has become quite a big issue here. Dd14 is sluggish in the mornings and has always loved to sleep in. During school term, she sleeps in on Saturdays only, and the rest of the time has to be up by 7am.

We are starting our summer holidays here, and she had had two late nights in a row with social events, so i let her sleep in on Monday. She woke up at 12 midday.

She is a normally responsible kid so I thought nothing of it, glad she could get to sleep in as she loves to. But that evening, we found out she had done NONE of her chores, and all the animals were without food and water on a hot day. AND she lied about doing the pool (its her job to clorinate it and check the pump is working every day)-she said she had when she hadnt.

So, she has lost her privilege of sleeping in, even though we are on holidays now.

 

However, she has talked to me about it in the last couple of days, too. She says she doesnt understand why she finds it so hard to get up i the mornings, and that if she sleeps in it throws her and she doesnt remember stuff. i was thinking it was more a deliberate thing, but I am now thinking that she might have a thyroid issue or something like that. Also, yesterday I make a comment to an adult friend about how dd takes an hour from being woken, to having a shower and getting dressed in the mornings. Again, I was thinking this was deliberate laziness and slowness. But last night she chose to have a shower before bed instead, to try and deal with the long slow mornings more efficiently.

I dont know. Its a work in progress here.

I do find it irritating when th rest of us are early risers really, when dd sleeps in, because we all do our chores first thing...when she is not around to do hers, it throws out the morning routine for all of us to some extent.

Of course then there is the issue of getting enough sleep...but my feeling is, if you get up early, you will naturally go to bed earlier. If not, she can have n afternoon nap, its up to her.

ETA dh doesnt like dd sleeping in, and I have always been her advocate, because he feels it creates bad lifelong habits. I am an early riser and wonder if its genetic, but I do prefer that sleeping in be more of an ocasional treat rather than a habit. There may be something to learning the habit to be an early riser. Its natural to me, but I spent my childhood having to be at the bus stop by 6.45 am.

Edited December 17, 2008 by Peela

[Cedarmom]

. Will they still be able to cope with waking up when they need to? Or will their "clocks" get too messed up? :confused:

Lori

 

Yes, their body clocks will get messed up. :001_smile:I think what it really comes down to with me is that I want to give my son the oppurtunities to make some of these decisions and let him see the effect. I hope that maybe he will learn how to govern his time and be able to manage time effectively as an adult. So, if he is super tired on the first day o school, he will think maybe I should get to bed earlier even during the holidays. Or just decide its worth being tired. I do agree with the other poster who took away the privilige because other responsibilities weren't don't. Staying up late is a privilige, not a right.

[Barb_]

Right now I'm talking about Christmas break. We just started our break, and I'm having to drag them out of bed at 11:00. They're not happy, and want to sleep longer. I'm a night owl, so I do understand. Sometimes I wish my body would let me sleep in that long.

 

I'm a bit surprised that so many allow their teens to sleep in during school. I'm always worried that it will create bad habits for them, but I would rather not have to deal with their grumpy attitudes during school hours. I guess that's the reason for me asking "why" people do or don't let their teens sleep in. Will they still be able to cope with waking up when they need to? Or will their "clocks" get too messed up? :confused:

 

Lori

 

I let my 12yo work ahead for the next day when she's up late. So on Sunday night she does some Monday work between 10pm and 12am. Monday night she does some of Tuesday's, etc. I don't let her save today's work until evening because then if she doesn't get to it, she's behind. But she seems to focus better and work faster in the evening when I'm already asleep. I let her sleep as late as 11 or so during the school week as long as the schoolwork and chores get done at some point. I think teens really need to begin learning to budget their own time and figure out what works for them.

 

Barb

[Retired]

15 yo sleep in to 11:00am on non school days.

 

He gets up a 9:00 on school days.

 

He would rather do school assignment in last afternoon/evening. I don't have a problem with it as long as it is done right.

 

He has tried doing school at 10:00 at night. He found out the next day it doesn't work so well. He missed most of his math and I made him redue the assignment.

 

He now is thinking more responsibily and manages his own time .

 

If we need to be up earlier for appointments etc. He has know problem getting up but he is a pain all day. It is just a happier home when he gets the sleep he needs.

 

I am a night person working 2nd shift is when I have the most energy.

 

He take after mom.

[kat19]

We need to change our sleeping schedule, it's hard once you get used to staying up late and sleeping in.

 

Any ideas how to change it?

[LBC]

I let my 12yo work ahead for the next day when she's up late. So on Sunday night she does some Monday work between 10pm and 12am. Monday night she does some of Tuesday's, etc. I don't let her save today's work until evening because then if she doesn't get to it, she's behind. But she seems to focus better and work faster in the evening when I'm already asleep. I let her sleep as late as 11 or so during the school week as long as the schoolwork and chores get done at some point. I think teens really need to begin learning to budget their own time and figure out what works for them.

 

Barb

 

 

This is a great idea for school days! My ds, who is 13, can get so much more done if he's had a good night sleep and it's later in the day, but if I let him sleep too long, there's not enough time in the day to get things done before I'm finished teaching for the day. After 3:00, my responsibilities shift, and I become bookkeeper/cook/taxi driver. I can't always be around to make sure ds gets his work done later in the day, and he usually doesn't. If I were to let him do his work the night before, and tell him to leave his books on my desk, with a note saying what he's done, and that he is sleeping in, that would be a totally reasonable option.:001_smile:

 

Thanks,

Lori

[Barb_]

This is a great idea for school days! My ds, who is 13, can get so much more done if he's had a good night sleep and it's later in the day, but if I let him sleep too long, there's not enough time in the day to get things done before I'm finished teaching for the day. After 3:00, my responsibilities shift, and I become bookkeeper/cook/taxi driver. I can't always be around to make sure ds gets his work done later in the day, and he usually doesn't. If I were to let him do his work the night before, and tell him to leave his books on my desk, with a note saying what he's done, and that he is sleeping in, that would be a totally reasonable option.:001_smile:

 

Thanks,

Lori

 

Sure thing! It works great for us, because she saves things she needs help with (Math, mostly) and we just do that during my regular teaching time. It has really helped her to take ownership of her own learning. She is more likely to try and figure out something herself if I'm not readily available and pulling ahead for the next day is part of the reward for making the extra effort to understand the material and/or directions.

 

Barb

[Guest Katia]

During vacation time (like Christmas) I let my kids sleep until they are ready to get up.

 

For one dc that would be no later than 9am. For my ds, that would be 3-4pm because he would have stayed up until 3-4am.

 

I don't sweat it. Everyone seems to worry so much about teens and their sleeping habits and thinking it will ruin them for life if they get to sleep in. That has not been our experience.

 

Ds (mentioned above) was always allowed to follow his own sleep schedule as long as he got his homeschool work finished. He had some really strange hours but that was the advantage of schooling at home.......so we went with it.

 

He went off to college and managed to get to all his classes just fine and still do well enough to get academic scholarships, etc. He graduated from college and now has a job and is responsible enough to get to work on time, dressed in office clothing (a biggie for him!), do his job and then plan LAN parties over the weekends where he reverts back to the old up til 4am and sleep on Sat until 3pm.

 

He is not a mess. It works for him. No problems.

 

DDs have always been allowed to follow their own sleep schedules as well, although neither slept much later than 10am. Older dd is at college and doing just fine with getting to early morning classes and staying up all night when needed to study or write papers, etc.

 

My advice is don't stress about sleep or when to wake the dc. Just let them alone and expect them to be responsible. They will rise to your expectations.

[KidsHappen]

I don't regulate my teens sleep schedules as long as they don't wake me up. I have insomnia and get my best sleep between about 7am and 11am. So I know that some people have to take sleep when they can get it. As long as they get their school work done, are awake for dinner and spend some time socializing with the family, I am fine with it. I have noticed that they seem to get more school work done at night, probably because it is quieter and there is less commotion going on. Since the whole family keeps the same schedule it seems to work pretty well for us. I like the time between when I wake up and they wake up and my hubby, who is a early bird, likes the quiet time between when he wakes up and I wake up. I have come to the conclusion that it is very difficult to reset a person's circadium rythms. People are either early birds or night owls and will probably gravitate towards jobs that will work for them.

[Lolly]

I tend to wake mine up to see if they want to eat lunch. They usually do. Plus, they have swim practice in the afternoon. Once schools are on break, practice will be early.

[Haiku]

My daughter goes to school. Her normal bedtime is 9. When she is on break from school, she has to go to bed at 10 and she is required to be up by 9. We tried letting her stay up "as late as she wanted" and get up whenever she wanted and it was a disaster. I have found that, in order for her to maintain any semblance of a pleasant attitude, she needs a reasonable (for her) bedtime/wake time.

 

Tara

[Haiku]

But last night she chose to have a shower before bed instead, to try and deal with the long slow mornings more efficiently.

 

We had to move my dd's shower to the evening. She also takes f o r e v e r to get ready in the morning, and she was getting into the shower and standing there for 15-20 minutes. A few times dh (who is awake when dd is getting ready for school; I am not) had to actually go in and turn the water off because, even though he told her several times to turn off the shower, she simply didn't. Since moving her shower to the evening, dh reports that mornings are going better.

 

Tara

[Garga]

I've heard that teenagers need a LOT of sleep. Almost as much as babies do.

 

I've also heard that (for some unknown reason) during the teen years, humans are better designed to stay up late and sleep in late.

 

You might want to look into these things. Your kids might actually need to be up later and sleep in later. It's not something they can necessarily control.

[Renee in NC]

I don't sweat it. Everyone seems to worry so much about teens and their sleeping habits and thinking it will ruin them for life if they get to sleep in. That has not been our experience.

 

 

:iagree: When I was a teenager, I spent an entire summer sleeping all day and staying up all night. IT wasn't a big deal, and when school started that fall, I had no problems adjusting back to a normal schedule.

 

I don't regulate my 15yo's sleeping habits. They are regulated by school (he attends) and other responsibilities, so generally he only gets to sleep in one day a week (and he is usually up before noon.)

 

I did make it clear, however, that if his lack of sleep caused grumpiness that infringed on my right to a peaceful day, he would have to go to bed earlier. No, I don't think he sleeps enough, but he is old enough to decide that for himself.

[Tracey in TX]

As a morning person I find sleeping late reprehensible. It only encourages and allows the children to stay awake late (which my body just doesn't do). When I know the kids are utterly exhausted they may--on the rare occasion--sleep until 11 am, but are normally woken by 8 am. I wake daily at 6 am and really need them to follow my schedule.

 

However, if I were a night owl I would certainly feel differently.

[MIch elle]

Is this what I have to look forward to?! Hehe. My kids are 3 and 6. I cannot remember the last time I was able to sleep past 7!

 

I have no answer on that one...just had to laugh at how different kids are at different ages!

 

We all go to sleep early and get up early. That's just how our family functions. A late night here is 11 PM and sleeping-in late is 8 AM.

[ereks mom]

Are you done with school? If so, let them sleep...

 

If school is not done, then you need to work out what fits the whole family schedule...

 

On school days, I like EK to be up and about by around 8:00. On weekends or holidays, I let her sleep until about 10:00 or so if she's been up late.

[alpidarkomama]

As a morning person I find sleeping late reprehensible. It only encourages and allows the children to stay awake late (which my body just doesn't do). When I know the kids are utterly exhausted they may--on the rare occasion--sleep until 11 am, but are normally woken by 8 am. I wake daily at 6 am and really need them to follow my schedule.

 

However, if I were a night owl I would certainly feel differently.

 

As a night person, I find getting up early reprehensible. It only encourages and allows children to get up early (which my body just doesn't do). When I know the kids are utterly exhausted they may--on the rare occasion--go to bed at 8:00 pm, but are normally in bed by 10:00 pm. I wake daily at 8 am and I really need them to follow my schedule.

 

However, if I were a morning person I would certainly feel differently.:lol:

 

-Night mama to DD 5-1/2, DS 3-1/2, DD 2-1/2, DS 14 mos