Grace Hopper Posted October 23, 2022 Share Posted October 23, 2022 7 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said: None of my kids have gotten married yet but in the next few years I expect to be in the wedding years. My oldest has attended weddings constantly this past year. He has one coming up that is black tie. He has very nice clothes (by my standards LOL) but has to go buy something to meet the dress code. He can afford it and is looking forward to it. He says the invitation laid out alot of expectations and was basically “we understand if you can’t join us but if you do these are the rules”. I will be interested to see what happens if he marries his current girlfriend. They both have good jobs and run in a much more sophisticated crowd than we are used to and her family comes from old money. So I can’t even really relate to what the scenario will be. I expect to just go along and just shrug and not take responsibility for any of it because it will be the bride’s family’s decisions. I’ll be supportive but definitely consider myself a guest in that situation and not expect to get any opinions. The mother of the groom‘s job is mostly just to smile and nod. 😁 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted October 23, 2022 Share Posted October 23, 2022 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Grace Hopper said: The mother of the groom‘s job is mostly just to smile and nod. 😁 I am going to be AWESOME But see how many of these stories are about MIL problems? I’m not doing that! And if people want to complain to me about the wedding? Nope…not doing that either. I had no say. I’m just here to smile and nod. Edited October 23, 2022 by teachermom2834 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinball Posted October 23, 2022 Share Posted October 23, 2022 22 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said: I am going to be AWESOME But see how many of these stories are about MIL problems? I’m not doing that! And if people want to complain to me about the wedding? Nope…not doing that either. I had no say. I’m just here to smile and nod. Yeah, it’s amazing how many women marry the only normal person in a family…the parents (esp the MOM!), the siblings, the grandparents, etc…are all messed up but somehow, some way *the son* turned out to be just perfect! 🤣🤣🤣 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted October 23, 2022 Share Posted October 23, 2022 1 hour ago, Grace Hopper said: The mother of the groom‘s job is mostly just to smile and nod. 😁 My (only) son got married earlier this year and I kept saying that my job was to stay out of the way. I think I did a pretty good job. My ddil messaged me a few days ago and said something like "We don't get to talk enough. Can I call you tonight?" :) 9 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace Hopper Posted October 23, 2022 Share Posted October 23, 2022 5 minutes ago, Junie said: My (only) son got married earlier this year and I kept saying that my job was to stay out of the way. I think I did a pretty good job. My ddil messaged me a few days ago and said something like "We don't get to talk enough. Can I call you tonight?" 🙂 ❤️ 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scholastica Posted October 23, 2022 Share Posted October 23, 2022 22 minutes ago, Junie said: My (only) son got married earlier this year and I kept saying that my job was to stay out of the way. I think I did a pretty good job. My ddil messaged me a few days ago and said something like "We don't get to talk enough. Can I call you tonight?" 🙂 More confirmation of what a lovely person you must be. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zimom Posted October 23, 2022 Share Posted October 23, 2022 (edited) My husband and I dated 5+ years before we were married. We set our wedding date a year in advanced and booked our honeymoon. My brother started dating a girl a few months before our wedding, proposed and set their wedding date for the weekend after ours. They were dumbfounded that we refused to come home early from our honeymoon to attend their wedding. To top it off she took my veil after we left without permission and wore it in her wedding because she liked it better then the one she purchased. Needless to say that marriage didn't last long. Edited to clarify: My brother's marriage. My husband and I are still very much married. Edited October 23, 2022 by zimom 1 4 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieJ Posted October 23, 2022 Share Posted October 23, 2022 (edited) Not unreasonable requests, just a lot of weather related drama. My brother and SIL told us yesterday about a wedding they were the food team for the rehearsal dinner as well as thr wedding. as they drove (7) hours to the wedding, the watched a huge storm cloud the whole way. Tonadoes came through over night and thr are was without power. when they arrived at the church, no one there. Eventually a woman came out of the house next door, identified herself as the pastor’s wife. She said, there is no power, and my husband is going in for bypass surgery, I am leaving, do what you want. Generators were rounded up and they started their food prep. At some point,a scouting team was out looking for a church with power. One was found. They packed up their food, and then a phone call…another tornado had taken our the power at the second church. They unpacked and got back to cooking. The rehearsal and dinner were done by candlelight and some of strung lights. Next morning , day of the wedding, they moved everything to a church that had power, but it was a ways away, in the next county, moving took some time. Day of wedding they were grilling pork loins in pouring rain. My brother and SIL were so busy with food prep due to all the stressors, it was taking forever. They never saw the actual ceremony. There was more to that story, but I don’t remember details. Later it was discovered the marriage license was not valid in the county the wedding was performed in, so they had to rectify that later. Edited October 23, 2022 by KatieJ 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeAgain Posted October 23, 2022 Share Posted October 23, 2022 I can say I've never been to a bad wedding. There have been some oopsies here and there (like a bride forgetting to eat all day and nearly fainting before the ceremony. She's why I always keep snacks in my purse - the chocolates I purchased on a whim that day were well received). I will say that MIL put the nail in her and my dh's relationship when it came to his sibling's wedding. We were going to be traveling quite a long distance, as in oceans and countries distance, and she nonchalantly told him she had no room to host or even time to visit with him before or after. So he took another step back from her. We found a rental, only went to the actual event, and he has never forgiven her for her dismissal of him. She had done some things before, but this was the straw that broke the camel's back. It's been a polite distance ever since. 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted October 23, 2022 Share Posted October 23, 2022 This came up in another thread, and I thought I should add it here. I have a relative who did not want her daughter to marry her husband - and she did try to talk her out of the wedding. She made no secret of it, and everyone knew. She paid for a year's worth of BC to prevent her daughter from having children with him. (they've been married 8? 9? years. no children.) the daughter promptly moved halfway across the country next to her inlaws. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kokotg Posted October 23, 2022 Share Posted October 23, 2022 DH's aunt made it very clear that she expected us to ask her daughter (DH's cousin) to be a flower girl. Our small wedding party was one close friend each and everyone was else was siblings and one child of a sibling. I had a whole mess of first cousins close to DH's cousins age (she was around 12 at the time--not flower girl age) none of whom were in the wedding. But we got an impassioned letter about how the kid had ALWAYS WANTED to be a flower girl and how we probably just didn't remember what it was like to be that age and deal with that kind of disappointment (I was 24 at the time, so not really too ancient to remember my childhood). We stood firm, although in retrospect I probably wouldn't have picked that battle and would have just let the kid be in the wedding--particularly since the aunt ended up having health issues so that they couldn't come anyway, and it wouldn't have mattered. At the time I was feeling very stubborn about how it was OUR wedding and it was rude of her to ask. Which it was, but...meh. Says older me. Although it's entirely possible letting her be in the wedding would have caused hurt feelings on my side of the family from left out cousins...or led to a wedding party with a 3 year old ring bearer and a gaggle of 10-12 year old flower girls. The lack of symmetry! Remembering all of this I'm amazed that I actually consented to a wedding at all instead of a courthouse followed by a fun trip somewhere with the money we saved. I hate this kind of stuff! 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted October 23, 2022 Share Posted October 23, 2022 21 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said: She paid for a year's worth of BC to prevent her daughter from having children with him. This was my mother's wedding gift to us - one year of BC pills. She didn't want us to get married. Our wedding was a disaster because of her (long story). It took us a long time to be able to actually celebrate our anniversary but now it's special to us (35 years) but still can't look at the photos. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted October 23, 2022 Author Share Posted October 23, 2022 29 minutes ago, Kassia said: This was my mother's wedding gift to us - one year of BC pills. She didn't want us to get married. Our wedding was a disaster because of her (long story). It took us a long time to be able to actually celebrate our anniversary but now it's special to us (35 years) but still can't look at the photos. I'm so sorry for that pain. I feel similarly about my wedding dress. I had two friends who worked on my wedding dress, both of whom made my life miserable. The first one decreed she was making it--I did NOT ask--and I made the mistake of gratefully accepting because it would be cheaper. I asked a second friend to help just with assembling the lace overlay pieces--she willingly consented to help, and then procrastinated. My dress was done the night before the wedding. And it didn't fit--it was noticeably too big--because the first friend refused to tailor it to fit me. I'm curious to hear more about your wedding if you want to share. No pressure if not. And either way, I'm so sorry it was so painful. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted October 23, 2022 Share Posted October 23, 2022 (edited) 47 minutes ago, Harriet Vane said: I'm so sorry for that pain. I feel similarly about my wedding dress. I had two friends who worked on my wedding dress, both of whom made my life miserable. The first one decreed she was making it--I did NOT ask--and I made the mistake of gratefully accepting because it would be cheaper. I asked a second friend to help just with assembling the lace overlay pieces--she willingly consented to help, and then procrastinated. My dress was done the night before the wedding. And it didn't fit--it was noticeably too big--because the first friend refused to tailor it to fit me. I'm curious to hear more about your wedding if you want to share. No pressure if not. And either way, I'm so sorry it was so painful. Oh,it's such a long story. But, like you, my dress didn't fit and was too big. Just one of the reasons I don't like my wedding photos. Had several close "wardrobe malfunctions" during the wedding and reception. My dress didn't fit because of my mother - she insisted I buy it in my hometown where she insisted the wedding should be held even though DH and I lived OOS and none of our friends were there. There wasn't time to do alterations when I flew in before the wedding even though we were assured there would be when we bought it. I'm sorry your dress didn't fit either. 😞 Edited October 23, 2022 by Kassia 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted October 23, 2022 Share Posted October 23, 2022 (edited) What is it about weddings that makes some people lose their ever loving minds?!? My mom didn’t get ready for the wedding with us because she didn’t like how I decorated the reception and went to “fix it as best as she could” while the wedding party got ready and she wasn’t even paying for a single thing. Among other ways she tried to control things. Thats okay, my one marriage has outlasted two of hers, sooo Edited October 23, 2022 by saraha 5 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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