My parents were in a bad car accident today

[Dmmetler]

Mom and I spent about 3 hours together today. We watched a church service together and talked about TV and movies, and revised her phone list so I can transfer it to the new phone when it arrives. I also took over some cards, etc. Her Oxygen levels are staying up, although she's still having some coughing fits that are pretty intense. The new more relaxed visitation schedule should make this week more relaxed and less hectic.

Edited February 20, 2022 by Dmmetler

[DreamerGirl]

I do not keep up, but when I do it is really nice to read about the steady progress of your mom. You are an awesome daughter ! 

[Dmmetler]

Mom is doing fairly well. She is still having spells of nausea and coughing that they’re trying to control. She was able to eat some applesauce during therapy today and can drink from a straw. They’re moving to a smaller trach tube, which makes speech and swallowing easier, since she doesn’t need as much support as she used to. I was there for therapy today, and the PT thinks she also may not need the back brace, which will make moving easier and also reduce pressure on her abdomen. I can see why mom really likes the therapists. I do think it is emotionally hard on her for Dad to be back at church and she can’t be. 
 

The longer visitation hours make it easier to spend more time there, and it’s good to be there when the doctors are doing rounds and the therapists are there, but I can already see it’s going to be hard to juggle being with her, now that I can be and she’s up for it, work, and home. I don’t know if it will get easier when Dad comes back next week or not. (And even more so when L is home for Spring Break….). 

[Faith-manor]

I am really encouraged by these latest updates. Yay for your mom!!

[fraidycat]

I am so glad she is starting to be able to swallow now. 
 

Sending you big hugs because the time management stuff is so stressful. I hope you are able to work out a routine that works for you that allows you some time to rest and recuperate a bit yourself, too.

[Dmmetler]

It’s pouring rain and we’re supposed to have thunderstorms all day. I don’t feel safe driving down to the hospital, but I feel horrible staying home. This stinks. 

[Kassia]

35 minutes ago, Dmmetler said:

It’s pouring rain and we’re supposed to have thunderstorms all day. I don’t feel safe driving down to the hospital, but I feel horrible staying home. This stinks. 

Aw, I'm sorry.  Definitely don't go out if it's not safe - your mom wouldn't want you to do that.  ❤️

[Kanin]

1 hour ago, Dmmetler said:

It’s pouring rain and we’re supposed to have thunderstorms all day. I don’t feel safe driving down to the hospital, but I feel horrible staying home. This stinks. 

Could you do a video chat instead?

[Dmmetler]

Just now, Kanin said:

Could you do a video chat instead?

It’s still really hard for her to talk, since she’s having to push the air out through the trach. I don’t know if they got the smaller one in yesterday or not. 

[Kanin]

3 minutes ago, Dmmetler said:

It’s still really hard for her to talk, since she’s having to push the air out through the trach. I don’t know if they got the smaller one in yesterday or not. 

Aw. Not so good then. 

[Dmmetler]

She actually called Dad :)!! He got to hear her voice, even though she couldn’t talk for long since it’s physically quite hard. 
 

Overall, it sounds like she had a decent day. I do hope I can see her tomorrow, though.

[Kassia]

Oh I have tears just thinking about that phone call!  How wonderful! 

[Dmmetler]

Mom is overall doing pretty well. She was annoyed this morning because she had a headache and it took about 2 hours to get Tylenol to her (she says the healthier she gets, the more she gets ignored-which I suspect is true). The therapists hadn't been yet today, which is also part of why she was a bit annoyed. The good news is that according to the NP, she's pretty much ready to move to rehab, possibly as early as the end of next week, so we need to pray that place is available somewhere good and relatively close to home soon. 

[TravelingChris]

2 hours ago, Dmmetler said:

Mom is overall doing pretty well. She was annoyed this morning because she had a headache and it took about 2 hours to get Tylenol to her (she says the healthier she gets, the more she gets ignored-which I suspect is true). The therapists hadn't been yet today, which is also part of why she was a bit annoyed. The good news is that according to the NP, she's pretty much ready to move to rehab, possibly as early as the end of next week, so we need to pray that place is available somewhere good and relatively close to home soon. 

To her home in VA, right?  

As to being ignored, in  Nov when I had surgery, it was just really, really good that my dh was there because almost all the staff had called out. Like 2 out of 3 of everything - nurses, aides, etc.  It was a beaurtiful set of days and people were getting their breaks.

[Dmmetler]

33 minutes ago, TravelingChris said:

To her home in VA, right?  

As to being ignored, in  Nov when I had surgery, it was just really, really good that my dh was there because almost all the staff had called out. Like 2 out of 3 of everything - nurses, aides, etc.  It was a beaurtiful set of days and people were getting their breaks.

Yes, that would be the ideal, just because it would provide a lot more support for my father, and a lot more friends who can visit, and possibly a little more normalcy. 

[TravelingChris]

32 minutes ago, Dmmetler said:

Yes, that would be the ideal, just because it would provide a lot more support for my father, and a lot more friends who can visit, and possibly a little more normalcy. 

So how is that hunt going?   I now know that maybe before my neck surgery but definitely before my hip repl;acement in 4-9 years, I have to figure out how we will pay for a rehab place. 

I am not doing another rehab with my dh being the care person when he works at home=== this is something that the insurances need to correct as at home work seems to becoming very common, even after COVID pandemic.

[Dmmetler]

1 hour ago, TravelingChris said:

So how is that hunt going?   I now know that maybe before my neck surgery but definitely before my hip repl;acement in 4-9 years, I have to figure out how we will pay for a rehab place. 

I am not doing another rehab with my dh being the care person when he works at home=== this is something that the insurances need to correct as at home work seems to becoming very common, even after COVID pandemic.

There are two decent seeming possibilities closer to home (within 1-2 hours drive). I know the case manager is also looking for options here. Unfortunately, a side effect of COVID is that there is a very high need for rehab for people recovering from the effects of long term ventilation, and at this point, mom’s needs are mostly exactly that-most of the injuries have healed, but a two month hospital stay and almost 6 weeks on a ventilator requires a recovery process in and of itself.

[TravelingChris]

35 minutes ago, Dmmetler said:

There are two decent seeming possibilities closer to home (within 1-2 hours drive). I know the case manager is also looking for options here. Unfortunately, a side effect of COVID is that there is a very high need for rehab for people recovering from the effects of long term ventilation, and at this point, mom’s needs are mostly exactly that-most of the injuries have healed, but a two month hospital stay and almost 6 weeks on a ventilator requires a recovery process in and of itself.

Oh yes, that is, of course, another type of rehab.  I wonder if the lack of rehab places is one of the reasons I saw that a Medevac pilot who got COVID in Dec of 2020, and only got out of the hospital in like late July or Aug of 2021.  He was leaving in a  wheelchair and with oxygen. 

Does your mom still need  oxygen?  And does her eating need to be more normalized too or is that something  they can handle in rehab.

As to the one or two hour drive-  at least winter will soon probably be over, even in mountain areas of VA.

[Dmmetler]

Right now she is doing well with continuous pressure and relatively low amounts of oxygen, but struggles without the assist of the pressure. Since she had COPD and used a CPAP at night before losing the lower lobe of her right lung, while the ideal would be to get by without daytime support, that may or may not be possible. However, that’s something that can be worked on in rehab (among other things, as she recovers physically and regains more mobility, that will also help build up her remaining lung capacity), with the goal of at least reducing the equipment needed to something more manageable at home. Feeding is much the same, where she basically just needs to regain that motor function that hasn’t been used. 

 

One reason why moving to rehab is desired is simply that extended care has fewer therapists because that’s not their primary focus-their focus is to get through the trauma and get off the ventilator. So, while mom has PT, OT, and speech stopping in, it’s more like 30 minutes for each 3-4x/week. In comparison, the kind of rehab that is the goal usually is 3-4 hours of therapy a day, 7 days a week. In most cases, there is substantial improvement, such that the person can return home and proceed to an outpatient basis, in a few weeks. 

[Dmmetler]

And this morning, I have a headache, it’s still a winter storm warning, there’s ice in the trees, although roads look OK, and I have my longest day and most demanding kids starting at 1:00, so I can’t be there too long and would be there when the therapists, etc are. 
 

I can’t tell if I have a legitimate reason to stay home this morning, or if I’m trying to find excuses. 

[mlktwins]

9 minutes ago, Dmmetler said:

And this morning, I have a headache, it’s still a winter storm warning, there’s ice in the trees, although roads look OK, and I have my longest day and most demanding kids starting at 1:00, so I can’t be there too long and would be there when the therapists, etc are. 
 

I can’t tell if I have a legitimate reason to stay home this morning, or if I’m trying to find excuses. 

Huge hugs!  What you are going through and doing for your parents is super hard!  If you need a morning at home before you start lessons, stay home.  That is a legitimate reason and it is ok!!!  That is a lot to take on for a short visit.  

[Dmmetler]

Mom had all three therapists today, so it sounds like a really good day, even though between a headache this morning and bad weather, I didn’t make it down. Hoping it dries up tomorrow.  

[Dmmetler]

I got to see mom today. She had therapy this morning, but unfortunately, the cheesecake filling had modified food starch and therefore might not gluten free. The mashed potatoes were a poor substitute, even though they are of similar consistency (food sensitivities and intolerances complicate feeding therapy just like they do eating). I could also use good wishes in finally getting through to a human being so I can get mom’s new phone activated on her account, which apparently cannot be done online (even though activating a completely new account can be). I’m rather frustrated with Kroger wireless at this point. 

[TravelingChris]

2 minutes ago, Dmmetler said:

I got to see mom today. She had therapy this morning, but unfortunately, the cheesecake filling had modified food starch and therefore might not gluten free. The mashed potatoes were a poor substitute, even though they are of similar consistency (food sensitivities and intolerances complicate feeding therapy just like they do eating). I could also use good wishes in finally getting through to a human being so I can get mom’s new phone activated on her account, which apparently cannot be done online (even though activating a completely new account can be). I’m rather frustrated with Kroger wireless at this point. 

I hope you can get help with that phone really soon.

[Dmmetler]

Mom's SLP and OT gave her this apron, and her care team is signing it before she leaves them for rehab. Isn't that sweet 🙂

[Dmmetler]

Finally got the phone activated. I also managed to whip up a little capelet from a piece of fleece L had gotten to make a new sew blanket and forgotten about it, so I can trade that in for the one I had made and take the other home to be washed. (I should have gotten two done when I had the first one made, and didn't think about it). I don't know that the one I did will hold up-I don't have a sewing machine, and it's definitely not a pattern mom would have picked, but for long enough to run the other home and wash it, it should work. 

[Dmmetler]

Since it's a weekend, not much is happening, but Mom did have one big piece of news-the Pulmonologist came in, and estimates that she can be off the trach in 10-14 days! That will make it much, much easier to find rehab in or near Harrisonburg. She has another swallow test on Monday, which should go better now that her esophagus has had a bit of time to recover. 

Overall, very positive. 

[NewnameC]

That is great news.

praying the swallow test is successful.

[TravelingChris]

I am so happy to hear that she will probably be able to be off the trach in such a few days.  Also praying the swallow test goes well.

BTW, can you tell us what caused the injuries to her?  Was it the seatbelt, the air bag or a piece of the car?  

[Dmmetler]

37 minutes ago, TravelingChris said:

I am so happy to hear that she will probably be able to be off the trach in such a few days.  Also praying the swallow test goes well.

BTW, can you tell us what caused the injuries to her?  Was it the seatbelt, the air bag or a piece of the car?  

Probably the airbags. As one of the ICU residents put it, for small people, airbags are a two edged sword. They save your life, but they also cause damage because they're deploying with such force straight into you. Add post menopausal woman, who, despite exercising and taking calcium, probably has less strong bones, and you get broken ribs and vertebrae. The perforated lung and diaphragm came from the broken ribs. 

 

Because my dad was in the driver's seat, and because he's taller, he didn't get near as direct of a shot from them. He was knocked unconscious, probably from the collision itself (my mother wasn't knocked out-she didn't lose consciousness until she was in the ambulance, which was likely blood loss, since she ended up with something like 20 units of blood transfused (most in the first day, although there were a couple of transfusions later as well to get counts up). 

[Dmmetler]

Mom's doing pretty well. We watched a service together and she ecen sang along a little on the last hymn. The doctor came by, and they're going to start capping off the trach and using a CPAP at night, as part of getting off the trach completely. 

Dad flies here Tuesday. He's not feeling well today, so hopefully he'll feel better tomorrow.

[Dmmetler]

They switched mom to a cuffless trach (which means that it can still be switched to provide oxygen support if needed, but it allows breathing through the mouth and nose, and can be capped off to work on breathing) and she’s currently on oxygen support through her nose, not through the trach. She has also stepped down to the lowest level in extended care, which  is the last step before discharge to rehab. 

Dad flies back here tomorrow. 
 

Today is 2 months from the original accident. I think it’s been the longest two months of my life.

[Faith-manor]

1 minute ago, Dmmetler said:

They switched mom to a cuffless trach (which means that it can still be switched to provide oxygen support if needed, but it allows breathing through the mouth and nose, and can be capped off to work on breathing) and she’s currently on oxygen support through her nose, not through the trach. She has also stepped down to the lowest level in extended care, which  is the last step before discharge to rehab. 

Dad flies back here tomorrow. 
 

Today is 2 months from the original accident. I think it’s been the longest two months of my life.

I am so glad to hear this report! Go mom!!!

[Dmmetler]

I will also say-I’m glad we had the talkative respiratory therapist this morning. She explained a lot more than most do. 

[Dmmetler]

To quote from mom’s FB this morning:

I PASSED THE SWALLOW TEST, so now I can eat pureed foods.

 

yay!!!
 

Dad’s plane is enroute. I am assuming he’s on it. 

[Kassia]

Yay!  That's amazing!  

[Dmmetler]

Overwhelming right now. 
 

i took Dad down this morning, and got to be there when the Nurse practioner came around. Mom is doing a 24 hour test with the trach capped and on oxygen. If she makes it through the 24 hours and things look good, they will pull the trach in 2-3 days. They are switching to just tube feed overnight so she can eat on her own, and we can bring in food if there’s something she wants, so she can finally have her Slurpee that she was asking for in ICU. If she tolerates eating a regular diet well, they’ll likely pull the feeding tube in a few days, too. 
 

And, then my dad checked his home phone messages. Mom has been accepted into the Brian center in Fincastle, VA for rehab. It is one of a handful of skilled rehab centers in the country specializing in ventilator patients. It is an hour and a half from home. The chance of getting in is literally lower than getting a child into the Ivy League. It may actually turn out that by the time they start working on admission plans, which is scheduled for next week, she may not need them and might be able to go somewhere closer to home and less specialized, but she has a spot. And it’s somewhere really, really good. 
 

I made it about halfway home because I was shaking and starting to cry. The relief is just overwhelming. Like getting that college acceptance letter for my homeschooled kid, only like 5 billion times stronger. 

[Kassia]

Big hugs to you.  You've ALL been through so much.  Hope your mom gets her Slurpee soon!

[Dmmetler]

Oh, and in thinking, back quite a few weeks ago now, one of Mom’s favorite nurses told her that she thought mom would be out of here for Lent. Dad and I both kind of thought “well, Lent is a month away, and it’s 40 days long, so that at least gives her a goal”. Today is Ash Wednesday.  She is farther along than anyone would have anticipated a month ago. Heck, a WEEK ago.  God is an awesome God! 

[Dmmetler]

Mom had another pretty good day today. Things are looking bright 🙂

[ktgrok]

28 minutes ago, Dmmetler said:

Mom had another pretty good day today. Things are looking bright 🙂

So glad!!! My laptop has been in the shop for repairs, but I've been thinking of you. 

[ktgrok]

On 3/2/2022 at 5:12 PM, Dmmetler said:

Oh, and in thinking, back quite a few weeks ago now, one of Mom’s favorite nurses told her that she thought mom would be out of here for Lent. Dad and I both kind of thought “well, Lent is a month away, and it’s 40 days long, so that at least gives her a goal”. Today is Ash Wednesday.  She is farther along than anyone would have anticipated a month ago. Heck, a WEEK ago.  God is an awesome God! 

She can give up her trach and feeding tube for lent 🙂

[Starr]

Reading your posts on your mom's healing are a wonderful and positive moment in my day. This old nurse wasn't so sure.

[Dmmetler]

10 hours ago, ktgrok said:

She can give up her trach and feeding tube for lent 🙂

One of her friends posted about Lent on FB, and mom commented “not fasting this year-I only just got to eat!” I figure she’s covered for this year. Maybe the next two or three….

[Dmmetler]

10 hours ago, Starr said:

Reading your posts on your mom's healing are a wonderful and positive moment in my day. This old nurse wasn't so sure.

I wasn’t either. It’s been fairly steady and slow, but the last two weeks have been really a great change.  I wasn’t at all confident that we woildn’t be dealing with the trach and feeding tube for the long haul, but the g tube seems to have done what it needed-things turned around really fast after that. 
 

I will say that I wish she were eating more. A lot of that is that she doesn’t trust that the hospital is giving her stuff that’s gluten free. 

[LifeLovePassion]

Can you bring in some packaged snacks that are safe for her to eat? 

[Dmmetler]

38 minutes ago, LifeLovePassion said:

Can you bring in some packaged snacks that are safe for her to eat? 

It’s difficult right now because she still needs soft foods that are easy to swallow. So some things that would work well don’t travel well. I do anticipate making some runs over to the cafeteria to pick up ice cream :). 

[Dmmetler]

Mom had another red letter day. The OT and SLP had her working on self care skills, she sat In her chair most of the day, doesn’t need her back brace anymore, and ate turkey for dinner (Dad’s a little disappointed that they didn’t have it in the cafeteria). Things are looking good. 

[Drama Llama]

15 hours ago, Dmmetler said:

One of her friends posted about Lent on FB, and mom commented “not fasting this year-I only just got to eat!” I figure she’s covered for this year. Maybe the next two or three….

She should probably give up things like bungee jumping for at least the next 40 days.  Maybe no contact sports either.  

[Drama Llama]

Some things that worked well for us when we needed easy textures, but wanted varied nutrients and tastes included:

Blender gazpacho

Whole milk plain greek yogurt with some pureed frozen fruit

Those little baby canned oranges

Orzo (gluten free obviously) with red sauce and whole milk ricotta, or pesto

Baked sweet potato mashed with sour cream

Soup made with lentils, vegetables cooked very soft and small, and ground meat.  

Avocado cubes with a drizzle of balsamic, or guacamole with a spoon

Often, the hospitals serve a lot of sweet bland stuff (applesauce, pudding, sweetened yogurt, Ensure type drinks) which have it's place, but if we were supplementing with stuff from home, then he was tired of sweet stuff and appreciated more tastes.