Kassia Posted November 12, 2021 Share Posted November 12, 2021 (edited) MIL just found out her cancer spread and is having a port inserted. She asked us to come with her for her next oncology appointment but not for the port. I don't know anything about how it is put in so I looked it up and it seems like she will be sedated and need someone to drive her home? Is that right? This is a nightmare for us. We were distanced from her for many many years because she was so awful to us and we vowed we would never help her when the time came but it's been endless since my FIL died last year. She just had colon cancer surgery in June and we thought things would calm down but now they are actually worse. 😞 I'm supposed to have surgery in a few weeks and will probably have to cancel so we can take care of her. It would be too much for DH to care for both of us (I'll be immobile for a long time - foot reconstruction surgery). ETA: we found out that she'll need a liver biopsy, which means sedation again and we'll be responsible for transporting and waiting. Do you think there's any possibility they can do those together? I'm thinking no and it would be silly to call and find out but thought I'd ask the hive. Edited November 15, 2021 by Kassia 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted November 12, 2021 Share Posted November 12, 2021 ((Kassia)) No advice, just sending you strength and hugs. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted November 12, 2021 Share Posted November 12, 2021 Yes, you are typically sedated or anesthetized for port placement. If you are unable to care for her for any reason, you are unable to do so. They can most likely change what meds they are using, keep her longer, or arrange medical transport. Hugs! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted November 12, 2021 Share Posted November 12, 2021 12 minutes ago, Kassia said: MIL just found out her cancer spread and is having a port inserted. She asked us to come with her for her next oncology appointment but not for the port. I don't know anything about how it is put in so I looked it up and it seems like she will be sedated and need someone to drive her home? Is that right? This is a nightmare for us. We were distanced from her for many many years because she was so awful to us and we vowed we would never help her when the time came but it's been endless since my FIL died last year. She just had colon cancer surgery in June and we thought things would calm down but now they are actually worse. 😞 I'm supposed to have surgery in a few weeks and will probably have to cancel so we can take care of her. It would be too much for DH to care for both of us (I'll be immobile for a long time - foot reconstruction surgery). I think it would be a mistake to cancel your own needed surgery to care for someone who has been so awful. I think it would make sense to go to the oncologist appointment and say, "I have to have surgery, so we will not be able to care for MIL. What resources are available for her?" 19 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted November 12, 2021 Share Posted November 12, 2021 So sorry for the nightmare. It's not fair that this impacts your peace and also your own needed medical care. I fully support you in whatever you feel you need to do, and I hope the nightmare ends quickly. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eagleynne Posted November 12, 2021 Share Posted November 12, 2021 My mother, a retired oncology nurse, says that getting a port isn't a big deal at all and that the vast majority of people require no real aftercare. According to her it's usually done under conscious sedation in about 30 minutes. They don't typically keep you for more than an hour or two before sending you home and the only real concerns are swelling, bruising, and signs of infection (all rare) for which one would need to call the doctor to let them know what's going on. She probably wouldn't even need you to drive her home after. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted November 12, 2021 Author Share Posted November 12, 2021 1 hour ago, prairiewindmomma said: Yes, you are typically sedated or anesthetized for port placement. If you are unable to care for her for any reason, you are unable to do so. They can most likely change what meds they are using, keep her longer, or arrange medical transport. Hugs! Thank you! 1 hour ago, Terabith said: I think it would be a mistake to cancel your own needed surgery to care for someone who has been so awful. I think it would make sense to go to the oncologist appointment and say, "I have to have surgery, so we will not be able to care for MIL. What resources are available for her?" I don't want to put DH in that position. He's already had much more of the burden with her than I have (basically taken on another household with her finances, house, medical issues, cars, etc.) and I don't want to add to his stress. 24 minutes ago, eagleynne said: My mother, a retired oncology nurse, says that getting a port isn't a big deal at all and that the vast majority of people require no real aftercare. According to her it's usually done under conscious sedation in about 30 minutes. They don't typically keep you for more than an hour or two before sending you home and the only real concerns are swelling, bruising, and signs of infection (all rare) for which one would need to call the doctor to let them know what's going on. She probably wouldn't even need you to drive her home after. Thank you! I hope that's the case for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mum Posted November 13, 2021 Share Posted November 13, 2021 I'm so sorry. That sounds so hard. You may not want to count on her being able to drive home. I'm having a procedure with conscious sedation in 2 weeks and am not allowed to drive home. I've never heard of anyone being allowed to drive home after a conscious sedation procedure. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted November 13, 2021 Share Posted November 13, 2021 It seems to me that she could get visiting nurses to do her home care, or go to a skilled nursing facility if she needs more care than that. Please don't put off your own medical care on her behalf. Your husband does not have to do this - that's what paid professionals are for. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted November 13, 2021 Author Share Posted November 13, 2021 1 hour ago, mum said: I'm so sorry. That sounds so hard. You may not want to count on her being able to drive home. I'm having a procedure with conscious sedation in 2 weeks and am not allowed to drive home. I've never heard of anyone being allowed to drive home after a conscious sedation procedure. It is very hard. It's right where we didn't want to be - we always wanted to move to avoid this but couldn't for a number of reasons and now we're stuck. I'm sure she'll need someone to drive her home and stay with her a bit if she has conscious sedation. 1 hour ago, Amy in NH said: It seems to me that she could get visiting nurses to do her home care, or go to a skilled nursing facility if she needs more care than that. Please don't put off your own medical care on her behalf. Your husband does not have to do this - that's what paid professionals are for. DH and I will have to talk about it. I have a bunch of medical issues and he just had his own medical emergency (kidney stone) and had to postpone dental surgery due to the kidney stone. It's really bad timing (plus our adult kids will be coming and going for the next two months due to the holidays and we never get to see them) and our history/relationship with her just makes it harder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted November 13, 2021 Share Posted November 13, 2021 My teenage daughter had 2 ports placed. There is no way, i would have wanted her to drive herself afterward. I don't think they would have let her anyways. They usually require a driver for any medical procedure that requires any type of sedation, even conscious sedation like a colonoscopy. If there is any itching, medications like bendaryl are used, which can also cause drowsiness. My daughter was in horrible pain for several days afterward. Yes, some people do fine, but not everyone. I wouldn't expect her to be ok immediately afterward. I would look into medical transport if you cant do it yourself. A port placement requires a 2 inch incision into the chest above the breast. A pocket is made in the skin. A port that is about a centimeter thick and a little bigger than a quarter is placed under the skin. A thin catheter (tube a little thicker than a coffee stirrer) exits the port, goes up to the neck where it enters the artery, then travels inside of that, and ends in the heart. You can Google videos on how the surgery is done. It is considered a 'procedure' and is simple, often done in a radiology clinic by an interventional radiologist, so they have access to the equipment to visualize the artery and heart during the placement. I wouldn't think twice about having someone else provide care for her, but she may indeed need care. (((((hugs to you and your family as you go through this difficult time))))) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted November 13, 2021 Author Share Posted November 13, 2021 Thank you, @Tap Do you think she'll need someone to care for her after the procedure then? I don't think she was told any of this because she only said she needed someone to go with her for her next appt. with the oncology doctor (which, of course, falls on a bad day for us). I have a call in to the office so I'll put it on my list of things to ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted November 13, 2021 Share Posted November 13, 2021 55 minutes ago, Kassia said: Thank you, @Tap Do you think she'll need someone to care for her after the procedure then? I don't think she was told any of this because she only said she needed someone to go with her for her next appt. with the oncology doctor (which, of course, falls on a bad day for us). I have a call in to the office so I'll put it on my list of things to ask. It really depends. I am sure some people do fine and are off and running the next day or so. I was on a Facebook page for others with ports for a few years. Some, like my daughter, had a rougher recovery. BTW, my daughter has POTS but was otherwise a healthy teenager, with a high tolerance to pain. She was an athlete and is the type of person to push herself to tears, to accomplish her goals. That being said, her port procedures were hard on her and left her bed bound for a few days. The second one, was worse than the first (removal of old port and subsequent scar tissue plus putting in a new one). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted November 13, 2021 Author Share Posted November 13, 2021 Thank you @TapAnd I'm sorry for what your poor dd has been through and for you, as her mom, having to see her go through that. I can't imagine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted November 13, 2021 Share Posted November 13, 2021 I don't recall anyone on the cancer board I belong to who had a port posting about having any trouble with the procedure or recovery from it. But in my experience no medical provider around here will do any procedure that requires conscious sedation (colonoscopy, endoscopy, cataract surgery, etc) without the patient having an adult with them to drive them home. And typically they advise the accompanying adult to stay with the patient for a few hours afterwards, although in reality I don't think most patients need that. Conscious sedation meds used now are really good. A frail, elderly relative recently had a port for cancer treatment and AFAIK she had no trouble with it at all, but she did have someone to drive her home afterwards. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted November 13, 2021 Author Share Posted November 13, 2021 1 minute ago, Pawz4me said: \ But in my experience no medical provider around here will do any procedure that requires conscious sedation (colonoscopy, endoscopy, cataract surgery, etc) without the patient having an adult with them to drive them home. Right, I didn't know anything about having a port put in until I did a google search and discovered that it requires sedation. I don't think she's aware of this and that's why she didn't say she needed us for the appointment but now I see that one of us will need to go with her. At almost 84, I don't feel comfortable with her driving even when she hasn't been sedated! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted November 13, 2021 Share Posted November 13, 2021 So, this is on the rarer side of things, but my husband’s port almost immediately became infected. He was inpatient, so we didn’t have to worry about getting him home and such, but they had to remove it before it was even used for treatment. So that’s a possibility…but we always said that if there was a potential negative side effect, DH had it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted November 13, 2021 Author Share Posted November 13, 2021 10 minutes ago, alisoncooks said: if there was a potential negative side effect, DH had it. Same with my MIL. It's always always something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Splash1 Posted November 13, 2021 Share Posted November 13, 2021 My daughter has had two ports placed. Simple procedure but under anesthesia so will need a ride home. After care was simple and mostly she just slept. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted November 15, 2021 Author Share Posted November 15, 2021 Updated with this question in first post:we found out that she'll need a liver biopsy, which means sedation again and we'll be responsible for transporting and waiting. Do you think there's any possibility they can do those together? I'm thinking no and it would be silly to call and find out but thought I'd ask the hive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted November 15, 2021 Share Posted November 15, 2021 4 minutes ago, Kassia said: Updated with this question in first post:we found out that she'll need a liver biopsy, which means sedation again and we'll be responsible for transporting and waiting. Do you think there's any possibility they can do those together? I'm thinking no and it would be silly to call and find out but thought I'd ask the hive. You might be able to bundle those, but that’s not a normal ask. It’ll be hard to get those two surgical schedules to coincide, but it’s worth asking. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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