PrincessMommy Posted August 24, 2020 Share Posted August 24, 2020 (edited) Help me out here.... My 28yr old daughter graduated with her masters and got a very good job during COVID. We're hoping to meet up with her, her boyfriend (also a new grad), and his parents for lunch this weekend to celebrate. Is a gift something expected? Should I get her (and him??) a gift? They moved in together in March, but both of them have been on their own for several years. Gift giving is not my love language, so I don't readily think of these things. I'm clueless.. Edited August 24, 2020 by PrincessMommy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer&Mom Posted August 24, 2020 Share Posted August 24, 2020 Any housewarming gifts they might need? Do they have a nice blender/mixer/knife set? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted August 25, 2020 Share Posted August 25, 2020 Not that I would turn down a gift, but I would say definitely not expected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 25, 2020 Share Posted August 25, 2020 In our family, we give gifts for everything, so a gift would be expected, and expensive gifts are the norm. I don’t think anyone would be angry if they didn’t receive a gift, but as far as I know, that has never actually happened, so I can’t say for sure. If I didn’t give a gift to a close relative for an important event, I would think that person’s feelings would probably be hurt, mainly because if I gave a present to everyone else in the family for the same type of occasion and then neglected to do the same for one specific person without any explanation, it would seem like an intentional slight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted August 25, 2020 Author Share Posted August 25, 2020 26 minutes ago, Lawyer&Mom said: Any housewarming gifts they might need? Do they have a nice blender/mixer/knife set? I was going through her amazon lists and trying to figure that out. She hasn't updated in a while though... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted August 25, 2020 Author Share Posted August 25, 2020 (edited) 7 minutes ago, Catwoman said: In our family, we give gifts for everything, so a gift would be expected, and expensive gifts are the norm. I don’t think anyone would be angry if they didn’t receive a gift, but as far as I know, that has never actually happened, so I can’t say for sure. If I didn’t give a gift to a close relative for an important event, I would think that person’s feelings would probably be hurt, mainly because if I gave a present to everyone else in the family for the same type of occasion and then neglected to do the same for one specific person without any explanation, it would seem like an intentional slight. With the 3 previous upper graduates we threw a party. Obviously that is out. She was also my one who was going to walk (we have a tradition of NOT walking). But, obviously, stupid COVID stopped all that too. So, this is her consolation prize... a small intimate lunch. We are meeting his parents for the first time... he spoke to my husband about popping the question very soon. Edited August 25, 2020 by PrincessMommy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 25, 2020 Share Posted August 25, 2020 1 minute ago, PrincessMommy said: I was going through her amazon lists and trying to figure that out. She hasn't updated in a while though... Are they sentimental or practical? Do they like jewelry? Is there anything fancy that they could use at their jobs that would be very cool to have, yet they wouldn’t want to spend the money to buy it themselves? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 25, 2020 Share Posted August 25, 2020 (edited) 1 minute ago, PrincessMommy said: With the 3 previous upper graduates we threw a party. Obviously that is out. Can you gift them the money you would have spent on the party? Are they saving for a house, or do they already own one? (Assuming they even want to buy a house!) Edited August 25, 2020 by Catwoman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted August 25, 2020 Author Share Posted August 25, 2020 (edited) 1 minute ago, Catwoman said: Can you gift them the money you would have spent on the party? Are they saving for a house, or do they already own one? (Assuming they even want to buy a house!) See more answer above. we were posting at the same time 😄 Edited August 25, 2020 by PrincessMommy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bootsie Posted August 25, 2020 Share Posted August 25, 2020 I wouldn't say a gift is expected, but I think it would be a nice gesture. Since she had the boyfriend are both celebrating a graduation, I would maybe do a gift certificate to a nice restaurant or a nice bottle of wine to share--something to celebrate but also relax and unwind after all of the school work. Or, depending upon their respective fields of study, I would consider if there was a gift appropriate to that area of study, like a collector's item from that career choice(e.g. a framed bond certificate for a finance major, a silver serving spoon for a culinary graduate, or a class book). Or, is there some memorabilia from the alma mater (a stadium blanket, frames for their diplomas, nice pen and pencil set) if they were from the same school and particularly into school spirit. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted August 25, 2020 Share Posted August 25, 2020 Maybe not helpful...But when ds got his MA, I gave him $$ towards a trip he was taking to Israel. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted August 25, 2020 Share Posted August 25, 2020 congratulations Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 25, 2020 Share Posted August 25, 2020 9 hours ago, PrincessMommy said: With the 3 previous upper graduates we threw a party. Obviously that is out. She was also my one who was going to walk (we have a tradition of NOT walking). But, obviously, stupid COVID stopped all that too. So, this is her consolation prize... a small intimate lunch. We are meeting his parents for the first time... he spoke to my husband about popping the question very soon. Such an exciting time! I’m so sorry COVID wrecked everything. Gifts are not my love language either, but I would give one for this, esp as I would normally throw a party, too. My dd would probably really appreciate something for their apartment. Something for cooking would probably be a big hit. Oh! I just thought of this...would she have use for a Mini Hot Logic? I just bought a car version for dh and he is delighted. This is a little lunch box/crock pot type of think you plug in and it heats up your lunch/dinner on the go. You can get them for wall or for car. The car one is perfect for dh, since he is a contractor. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted August 25, 2020 Share Posted August 25, 2020 No gift expected in my experience. Congratulations to her! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bambam Posted August 25, 2020 Share Posted August 25, 2020 I'd probably ask her. I'd explain that you gave big parties for other kids for this, but that isn't possible right now, so would she appreciate a gift (any suggestions, sweet daughter?) or would she prefer you wait until you can have a big party to celebrate her achievement late? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted August 25, 2020 Share Posted August 25, 2020 Meeting the other parents for the first time throws in a wrench for me. I would do a joint Amazon card with a greeting card for each of them. I'd write in both but especially in my kid's card. ***I would keep the gift in my purse*** so I could pick the timing based on if the other parents bring a gift. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mum Posted August 26, 2020 Share Posted August 26, 2020 I like to give practical gifts at that age. They will both be earning, so they probably don't 'need' anything. I give things that someone can use everyday, something that reminds them of me and that I love them. A shameless plug-I have an Etsy shop and cloth napkins are an awesome tradition to start! They save money over the long run, they are useful for everyday, and good for the environment. A plus is that they are small and light, so they are easy to move if needed. https://www.etsy.com/shop/FabricSpeaks 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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