Changes you have seen in yourself with Covid-19?

[mommyoffive]

Have you noticed yourself changing with Covid-19?  

I first noticed it when I freaked out when another parent sitting beside me at dance started coughing.  4 days ago I lost it on the kids when they came home from their walk, but had stopped at the park.   Even though nobody was their at the time.   I head already warned them to not go talk to people or let kids come over to play.

Yesterday on a walk around the block I saw some neighbors coming up the sidewalk.  There was no way to get the 6 feet passing them on the sidewalk.  I worried that I would look mean if I took that big of a distance from them, which would have put me in the street.  But then I worry that I don't take a swing from them either.   

This stuff is so odd to me.  

[fairfarmhand]

I’m tense,  not so much because of fear of the virus but simply because I’m having to be around the kids so much more, they’re around each other so much and they’re irritable with one another. We all miss our friends and routines, and nobody knows how long it’s all going to last.

[regentrude]

I am stressed because I have to work so much harder than normally, with none of the positive aspects of my job.
And I am getting angry at all the poetic waxing how wonderful it is to have all this time for meditation and art and to rest.

And I'm agitated because my brain is on overdrive trying to keep up with all the details I have to take care of.

It's the suckiest "spring break" ever

[RootAnn]

What I've noticed is how my contagion mindset subtly colors my view of things.

In just one example, I was reading some history to my boys today. It was a description about meetings of Stalin, Roosevelt, & Churchill. My brain went off on a tangent, focusing on how stupid it was for these three countrys' leaders to meet In Person, shaking hands, and being so close to each other. Imagine how they could spread disease to each other & to their different countries!

I find myself shaking my head at descriptions of big parties in books that I'm reading. The social distancing rules are starting to get ingrained & I've only been living them for a bit over a week!

[stephanier.1765]

I find that I'm anxious about our food and other supplies. I've never experienced that before and it isn't just for me that I'm worried, but also for my adult children and their households as well. Except for hand sanitizer, I feel okay about our situation right now. But if the time comes where I can't go out and get fresh food, I will probably, most likely, have a panic attack.

[Sherry in OH]

I am feeling lethargic.  Not sure how much of that is due to the quarantine and how much to gray skies and stormy weather.  My inability to concentrate is due to stress.  Somehow I managed to forget to make lunch yesterday.  No one mentioned it until almost dinnertime.  It didn't save any food, they ate twice as much for dinner and then had evening snacks as well.

[klmama]

I'm spending a lot more time in the kitchen.  Usually, our schedules are very different, so we don't all eat together at the same time.  I do the shopping, cook once a day, and let all these capable cooks fend for themselves with eating leftovers or making something else.  Now, though, I want to be sure they eat healthy food, and the best way to ensure that is to make it for them.  I've been cutting up veggies and setting them out on the table.  Same with fruit.  I've been cooking at least two meals a day.  I'm not tired of it yet, but that may happen soon. 

Edited March 23, 2020 by klmama

[prairiewindmomma]

Well, my hair has gotten greyer and shaggier. My waistline expanded a tiny bit with eating so many carbs.

But mostly I have been trying to embrace the gift of time together. My oldest graduates this spring—had been doing community college classes—and this is a gift of spending time that I hadn’t expected. We are playing games, watching movies, etc. 

Do I have more work? Yes. Am I stressed, yes. But those things aren’t who I am. I am choosing to look for opportunities to bless others. I am choosing to be a safe place for my kids to process through things. I am acknowledging that I cannot expect life to always be smooth sailing, so I will do the best I can in the place I find myself.

[wathe]

31 minutes ago, regentrude said:

I am stressed because I have to work so much harder than normally, with none of the positive aspects of my job.
And I am getting angry at all the poetic waxing how wonderful it is to have all this time for meditation and art and to rest.

And I'm agitated because my brain is on overdrive trying to keep up with all the details I have to take care of.

It's the suckiest "spring break" ever

This is me.  The stress level is through the roof for hospital staff.  (I know you are in academia and not healthcare.  But you've expressed my feelings perfectly)

[SamanthaCarter]

Lethargy. 

[Sneezyone]

I tend to get active/busy when under stress. I NEED things to do so I am doing them. If fight or flight (simplified) are the default human responses, I'm a fighter and I feel that impulse kicking in.

[TrixieB]

I used to think my job was lonely (I am usually the only one in the office for 6-8 hours of my work day) and I didn't like it.  Now I love it! 

[MEmama]

I am actually enjoying running, for the first time ever. It’s been a huge stress release for me.

I'm nervous around people. Not in my usual introverted way, but actually nervous. I don’t like it. 
 

I'm always an over planner for weird potential situations so in a way I do feel like I prepared as well as possible for this. My mama bear instincts are definitely on extra high alert, though.

I am terrified of anyone in my family ending up in the hospital. The very thought puts me in a serious panic, like I can’t breathe. Normally I can tough out difficult situations in a calm and rational way, but all bets are off if this happens. 

[almondbutterandjelly]

I am feeling very much like "you can get used to anything" (I only mean this in regards to being home with dh and dd 24/7 and no alone time ever), and "this too shall pass" and I hope we're all alive and well when it does.

Plus I have bought cloth napkins and never again paper napkins, and we're back to using the Brita to filter our tap water rather than buying bottle water.  So I guess I'm being more environmentally friendly since there's no paper in the store anyway.  (I am feeling a little concerned on the tp situation.)

[Shoeless]

I'm tired. By the end of the day, I'm exhausted from anxiety and worry. I am the only one leaving the property these days, which feels like a huge responsibility. I keep myself as covered as possible, wear gloves, and disinfect everything and myself as soon as I come in, but I'm always thinking "Did I do enough?  What if I caught this and brought it home to my family?"

I don't like that I am now afraid to touch my own face. It's allergy season here so I have a constant, low-grade sinus headache and need to rub my eyes, and I can't. 

My MIL has anxiety disorder and bipolar disorder.  She's been texting me a lot more lately, freaking out about the National Guard being activated and how we're all going to be "locked down", and I don't feel like I have the bandwidth to deal with her. There are only so many times I can explain that the NG is not here to destroy us but to keep people from being idiots.  I really want to tell her to call DH, but I want my husband to be as stress-free as possible now that he is working from home.  She's probably going to end up at the hospital at some point, because anytime there is a high profile stressful event, she gets worked up and ends up at the hospital. It is absolutely the last place she needs to be, yet I know she'll end up there at some point. It sounds hard and mean, but I'm glad she is 3+ hours away because I don't want to be responsible for her when she invariably convinces herself that she has COVID and wants a ride to the hospital.  

[JustEm]

I have actually seen a lot of positive change in myself. Don't get me wrong, what is going on is terrible and will get worse before it gets better.

But 2019, was hard. Hard on my family, hard on my marriage, hard on my body, and hard on my mental health. I was so stressed beyond belief that I neglected my kids emotional needs. We were all damaged.  I started to hate myself a bit. 

At the end of 2019, dh and I started fixing our marriage, I started repairing my relationships with my kids, and we all started to heal. 

Through this crisis so far the extra time stuck had home has allowed me to continue to focus on the kids. But also to focus on myself again. I've found my passion for writing and reading again. If I was healed enough from surgery I'd be finding my love of exercising again. Instead, I've started gardening as a low impact physical activity. 

I still have anxiety and I worry about the continued storm we all are facing. But I'm really at a state of mind that i am doing what I can do and the rest is out of my hands so now I can really focus on getting to know myself again.