I need a realistic routine

[Soror]

We've been in Scouts since ds could join and I'm a leader. I vote for quitting. YOu are not enjoying it and it isn't working for your schedule, if you already are planning on quitting go ahead and get it over with. 

I'd find the PE class an annoyance to my schedule as I don't like things in the morning but it looks like you prefer that. So, you have Friday off the schedule for hs and Tues am too, and then another 2 afternoons you are gone for PT. I think for school what I'd do is plan to do the full schedule on the days you are home but only plan for the 3Rs on the days you have activities.

I go to the gym when the kids do TKD and exercise in the am while the kids are sleeping. With your schedule and all you are trying to do I'd drop the gym, put more effort into getting the dogs out for you and their exercise and do Daily Burn (or whatever else you like) at home either in the mornings or at lunch time a few days a week for some strength building and stretching work.

I have found it best to stack activities. So, put productive activities together and put break time activities together. So, if you are already going to be out of the house on Tues or Thurs can you put any other activity with it? 

My dh works earlier hours but has a FT college schedule on top of his full time+ job so he cannot help either, he barely gets to sleep. But evening activities work for us as that gives him quiet time to work on homework, but since that is the only time you are seeing dh I'd guard that time rather jealously.

I'd look into what you can do to help your sleep more. Are you turning off devices an hour before bed? Are you sleeping in a cold completely dark room? Are you keeping a good schedule? Have you tried melatonin? These are more rhetorical than expecting you to answer. My sleep gets wonky with hormones and my early schedule (I get up at 4:30 am to teach online 6 days a week) I've had to be militant about my sleep hygiene, plus extended release melatonin, progesterone in the second half of my cycle, and tart cherry juice at night to get the sleep I need. Not enough sleep totally wrecks my day and really cuts my productivity. Since I have to get up early anyway I do best getting things done then. It sounds like you are more of a night owl but you are having a hard time motivating at getting things done at night. I'd try to split the difference and work on doing some things in the am and some in pm after kids go to sleep. Exercise would be better in the morning- will help give you energy. Writing could be done during quiet time, or you could rest some at quiet time so you could have energy to write later.

[regentrude]

48 minutes ago, Danae said:

I would institute a “writers’ workshop” every afternoon. You’ll have to work with the kids for the first week or two to set the pattern, but once they’ve got it down do your own writing in a different room. Emphasize to the 10 and 7 year old that they are going to lead writers’ workshop for the 3 year old. Gather a lot of pre-school literacy related toys, activities, and videos and a timer. Put the 10 year old in charge of the timer and schedule. The 10 year old and the 7 year old alternate working on their own writing tasks and working with the 3 year old. They each have one 10 minute block of working with her and one of writing, then they all take a 5 minute break for a pre-prepped snack, each have one more 10 minute block of working with the 3 year old and one of writing, then the 10 year old starts a leapfrog or similar video. The older two can either watch the video with the 3 year old to keep her interested or take turns watching with her and working on their own writing. At the end you all have a 10 minute sharing time where you each, including you, talk about what you accomplished on your writing.

Interesting idea. Have you tried something like this yourself? I would imagine it to be terribly difficult to immerse myself in my own writing while my homeschooled children are conducting their own writing activity in the next room on their own.

 

 

[happypamama]

I would quit scouts. 

 

And I will be honest-- you may just have to choose which of your things is most important in this season with three young homeschoolers. Gym plus multiple homeschool groups plus my own writing plus dog training plus trying to get consistent schooling done would be too much. I'd try to combine some of that-- dog park next to a playground for everyone, or nature study walks, or video school while you write, or something. 

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

19 hours ago, Ktgrok said:

Ok, so two votes to quit cub scouts? Honestly, I'd LOVE to. But it seems to anti-American to quite cub scouts. Like, my citizenship might get revoked, lol. 

Add me to the list.  Quit scouts!!!!  Ugh!!!!  

15 hours ago, Ktgrok said:

ooh, I like that. I have a treat pouch I should be using during the day for the dogs, I could use that, or put treats in a baggie in a running belt. 

Do you have a running belt you like? I am wearing more leggings and such and would love a way to have pockets when I don't have pockets!

I use a FlipBelt and love it.  Spibelt is also highly regarded, but I haven't tried one.  I went with the flipbelt because I liked that it was sized.  I didn't want to have lots of extra buckles and doodads.  The flip belt fits very smoothly under clothes and gives you the hip "layered look".  😎  I'm in sure spibelt is also great.  My son uses my flipbelt when he goes to the skate park to carry a phone and some cash, I use it to run with a phone, keys, etc.  You might get the model with a zipper if you are concerned about medication falling out  Although nothing has ever fallen out of mine, sometimes even small risk is too great with small children and pets sniffing around the house for treats!    

ETA:  Oooh, I never should have looked at the spibelt selection on amazon.  They have options with two pockets, options that are buckle free like a flip belt...  ooooohhhh.... If I spend money at amazon today, it will be your fault!!!

Edited February 19, 2020 by Monica_in_Switzerland

[EmseB]

18 hours ago, Ktgrok said:

If the 7 yr old goes a parent has to be there. Tiger scouts have to have a parent with them. DH can meet DS there, but then they have to switch out car seats, etc. And DS 20 isn't keen on the nearly hour of deriving it would be to go back and forth, although I could make him if I needed to. 

That's a good reminder. We do have one family we used to get together with a lot, but the mom has a broken leg and isn't getting out much. But we could go to them, I need to check in with her and see if she's up for it yet. But, they are 40 minutes away, vs PE that is 15 minutes away, lol. We generally met halfway, but I don't think she is driving yet. 

 

And honestly, it is too late for DS 7 as well. He is not a night owl, and by the time scout ends at 7:30, then all the kids play on the playground for a while, then we drive home it is about 8:30pm. Then they have to change, have a snack, try to settle down, etc. It ends up being a late night. 

I would drop scouts so this may be beside the point, but this stood out to me. When we get home from an evening activity, we just do jammies, teeth, and bed. Is there a reason for a late night snack? My kids rarely eat after dinner is over around 6 or 6:30 so I might be missing something, but snack at 8:30 at night would not be happening because it would add at least 20-30 minutes when I'm already fried for the day.

[ktgrok]

So, today's routine has been sabotaged by:

1. internet going out. And today was the day I ran out of the phonics worksheets I print from teachers pay teachers - was supposed to prin more today but can't get to them. Also couldn't watch the educational video that went with our lesson. And no way to plop 2 yr old in front of daniel tiger, lol. JUST sorted out that one of our networks IS working, and got the password from DH, so now we are up and running. 

2. DH's ex girlfriend, and close friend of both of us is in a crisis situation regarding domestic safety, and I spent a g good amount of time locating resources for her

3. The previous owner of our rescue dog found me HERE of all places, and sent all sorts of awesome photos of her as a puppy. Which was a huge distraction, but the very GOOD kind, lol. Not upset about that at all - she even had photos of the parent dogs, siblings, etc! 

And DD2 is still not 100 percent since her cold last week, and asked for medicine to "help her nose sleep'. LOL she meant benedryl, so I gave some and she's laying in my bed watching cartoons. Kids are done with what we could do so far, and I'm having coffee. 

They did spend a lot of time last night and this morning playing with some fort building stuff, which is good. They were figuring out what shaped structures are strongest, etc and had to work together. 

 

[ktgrok]

9 minutes ago, EmseB said:

I would drop scouts so this may be beside the point, but this stood out to me. When we get home from an evening activity, we just do jammies, teeth, and bed. Is there a reason for a late night snack? My kids rarely eat after dinner is over around 6 or 6:30 so I might be missing something, but snack at 8:30 at night would not be happening because it would add at least 20-30 minutes when I'm already fried for the day.

One of them has a high metabolism and is barely on the weight chart, so needs a snack or he'll wake up HUNGRY, lol. 

[ktgrok]

Ok, I'm shocked how many people comment that I'm doing too much or very busy! I feel so NOT over scheduled compared to most people! I'm not arguing, I do feel like it is a lot, but so many people have kids in 3 activities and this that and the other. 

I'm going to talk to DH and then the kids about dropping scouts. I really feel the time home with daddy is more important now. The kids had a blast building forts with him last night, and then got to bed on time. 

 

[LMD]

1 hour ago, Ktgrok said:

So, today's routine has been sabotaged by:

1. internet going out. And today was the day I ran out of the phonics worksheets I print from teachers pay teachers - was supposed to prin more today but can't get to them. Also couldn't watch the educational video that went with our lesson. And no way to plop 2 yr old in front of daniel tiger, lol. JUST sorted out that one of our networks IS working, and got the password from DH, so now we are up and running. 

2. DH's ex girlfriend, and close friend of both of us is in a crisis situation regarding domestic safety, and I spent a g good amount of time locating resources for her

3. The previous owner of our rescue dog found me HERE of all places, and sent all sorts of awesome photos of her as a puppy. Which was a huge distraction, but the very GOOD kind, lol. Not upset about that at all - she even had photos of the parent dogs, siblings, etc! 

And DD2 is still not 100 percent since her cold last week, and asked for medicine to "help her nose sleep'. LOL she meant benedryl, so I gave some and she's laying in my bed watching cartoons. Kids are done with what we could do so far, and I'm having coffee. 

They did spend a lot of time last night and this morning playing with some fort building stuff, which is good. They were figuring out what shaped structures are strongest, etc and had to work together. 

 

Some days are just write offs and that's okay. If you work when you can it evens out. 

Yesterday our day was derailed by 1. Dh being home during the day. 2. Everyone slept in because recovering from illness 3. I hadn't cleaned the kitchen before bed so had to do that 4. my sudden need to go into town (30 mins each way) to pay an invoice in person because it was complicated and not working over the phone. 5. an email came in about dds orchestra so I had to print, fill in and drop off forms while in town. 6. I had to take a phone call from my friend who needed to unpack some stuff- we'd been trying to chat for 2 days. We did not get much school done 😄

[Carol in Cal.]

Re. running belts--I have an older Amphpod.  I love it.  It has a large water bottle that is mounted at a sideways diagonal in a sleeve, so it doesn't bounce at all.  There is room for ID, cell phone, keys, and a small snack (Bonbel ounce or a granola bar).  Also Ricola and some first aid stuff like aspirin, bandaids, sudafed, and allegra tend to be things I carry with me, but I use this mostly outdoors.  If you're mostly staying home, you'd have a different list.  Plus, well, it does look pretty cool, much more so than a fanny pack.  Here is the most similar version I could find online that is currently available:  https://www.rei.com/product/131395/amphipod-profile-lite-20-bottle-waistpack-with-jett-lock

[KathyBC]

On 2/18/2020 at 12:02 PM, Ktgrok said:

Life is too chaotic. I need a better strategy. I'm a go with the flow person but that isn't working for me because stuff doesn't get done and then I'm anxious. And I suck at making a plan/schedule. So I thought maybe someone else with more experience could help me with it?

Family Basics

DH works outside the home, leaves around 8:15. Sometimes home at 7pm, sometimes home at 11pm (mondays and fridays). 

DS 20 works and leaves the house around 6:30am back around 2:45pm. He does his own laundry, fends for himself sometimes for food, sometimes eats with us. Will watch kids while I go to the store, etc. 

DD 10, DS7 are homeschooled. they have a "daily work" folder that has their math and language arts work in it, with dividers for each day of the week. At the end of the week I empty it and refill. It also has reminders in it for them to do independent reading (both), and typing and spelling for DD10. 

We also have group work, we rotate around either doing history or science or some other thing each day (ideally). Today we watched a mystery science video and did the activity, w which turned into building forts, etc. Other days we do a lesson from Gather Round (free samples), or The Good and the Beautiful History or Science, or we have some science kits, etc. 

Tuesday mornings we have homeschool PE (we skipped today so did group work this morning). That goes until nearly lunch. Then Tuesday evenings are cub scouts (which I regret signing up for with a passion) and Friday mornings until at around noon are our Wild + Free group outings - usually a nature hike or something similar. last week it was a Valentine party with nature crafts.

Twice a week, currently Wednesday and Friday, I have physical therapy in the afternoon for about an hour. 

I have a gym membership, they have child care hours from 8am-noon and 4:30pm - 8pm. Not getting there much. Probably going to cancel and switch to Daily burn or something. But I wanted the Sauna. Will probably resort to hot steamy showers instead, lol. 

I NEED to be writing - and it isn't happening. i have tremendous anxiety about not writing, and even more about writing, lol. 

I also need to set aside 10-20 minutes a few times a day to work with my dogs on training - one of them is a runner and although much improved still doesn't have a reliable recall (we adopted her last summer as an adult). 

And with all this I have a needy almost 3 yr old in the mix. Sometimes she naps, sometimes she doesn't. Often when she does she's up past 10pm, which isn't good. 

Kids wake up around 7:30, bedtime is 8:30 but often they are not in bed until more like 9pm. (routine is supposed to be documentary at 8pm and then bed, but DH tends to get them riled up around then)

I'm not sleeping well, back pain (hence physical therapy) plus some insomnia stuff, plus youngest wakes up in the early morning hours sometimes, plus last night the darned dog had to go out at 3am, lol. 

I need a plan for getting housework, school work, and writing done. And outside time, our activities, etc. 

thoughts?

How much writing are we talking about? If the 3yo will allow it, write during scouts. If it needs to be more frequent, realistically what's left is after bedtime and weekends when you probably would like to connect with your dh, or mornings when you would probably like to capitalize on sleep opportunities.

Gym membership - tack sauna onto PT appointments or yes, pitch it.

You are probably getting a functional amount of dog training, housework and schoolwork in. Sounds like you are prioritizing some weekly outside time on Friday mornings. Realistically? I think what you are pulling off is as good as it gets for this season in your life... (tiptoeing away...)
 

[Shoeless]

13 hours ago, Scarlett said:

At the top of the thread under the OPs picture/name there are 5 stars.  You can click on them 1-5. But you only get one try so if you accidentally hit 1 you have just down voted a thread.  So hopefully it was not intentional.. 

Oh, ok. I never knew what they were for. 

[MercyA]

15 hours ago, Ktgrok said:

lol, I hadn't noticed! Now I'm going to get a complex, lol. 

Maybe it's just one of those things that happens by chance sometimes. The mind notices patterns even when they are not significant, right? 

Don't worry! I think pretty much everyone loves you here. Except maybe [a certain unnamed person] during heated canine-related discussions. 😉 

Drop Scouts! It's American to make the choices that are best for you! 🇺🇸

[Ellie]

On 2/18/2020 at 2:01 PM, Ktgrok said:

The problem is there just aren't that many things to do in the afternoon. All the homeschool stuff is in the morning. And I'm trying to get them to have some group time with other kids - the 10 yr old is really craving that. And I'm finding that cub scouts in the evening is HARD for me. I have to go too because DH is meeting us there from work, he worked 30 minutes the other side of where the meeting is, and nearly an hour from the house. So no way for him to get home and get the kids first. 

I really think we will drop it next year. I HATE being out of the house in the evening, and with DH teaching two evenings, plus once a month he has another event in the evening, plus sunday evenings he has an 8pm conference call...I just don't want more evening stuff. And the kids really don't, either to be honest. 

I'd rather have that time as family time. And I'm realizing I'd rather do family campouts, or just with one other family/friends than cub scout camp outs. 

Like the others, I guard morning time. I understand your wanting the dc to have some time with other children, but it doesn't have to be *homeschooled* children, does it? If you could do some community things (i.e., scheduled in the late afternoon when children get out of school), then your children could have the social and you'd have your mornings. Maybe even something like 4-H, which usually has one general meeting in the evening (because after school) and then whatever random times are necessary for the projects the children decide to do. And there are fun smaller competitions and whatnot. We never found 4-H to be time consuming at all, but it was still enjoyable.

I'd keep the Friday thing, though. That sounds like fun. 🙂 And it's Friday, the end of the week. You can let it all go.

Is there a way to restructure your evenings, too, so that the dc are actually in bed by 8:30? What is this "documentary" that they watch? Is it vital? Couldn't y'all start getting ready for bed around 7:30 or so (baths and whatnot), and read aloud or something instead? Would Mr. Ktgrok be willing to give up being rowdy for your sake?