gardenmom5 Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 my brother is a jerk - but his 2nd ex-wife is just as much of a witch as any sbxh complained about on this forum. many of my mom's things had been moved to my brother's house while she lived with them. sbxw - got rid of all of my mother's stuff. everything is gone. I wasn't able to get it in the months after I moved my mother out of their house. (she had been told by the court to keep it. she'd also been told by the court to do other things she didn't do...) my dad was a hobby photographer. all of his slides are gone. (including all of the pictures of me (and siblings) as children.) my parents wedding album... gone. my mother's silver (china and crystal) - all gone. her 1970's renaware pots and pans - gone. she also sold my brother's grandfather clock - that he'd ordered from the factory when he was stationed in germany. (that I babysat so it was at my house when their apartment was flooded by hurricane Andrew.) I just want to cry about the photographs and slides. I really feel like letting his dd know - who isn't speaking to him (I don't blame her) - but thinks her step mother is wonderful. (no -she's a petty witch who got rid of a lot of things that are family legacy type items.) 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoffive Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 Wow. I agree with you. She didn't give you a heads up at all that she was getting rid of it? Like take this if you want it before I get rid of it? I am really sorry. Maybe some other family has some pictures you can get copies of. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 21, 2019 Author Share Posted February 21, 2019 16 minutes ago, mommyoffive said: Wow. I agree with you. She didn't give you a heads up at all that she was getting rid of it? Like take this if you want it before I get rid of it? I am really sorry. Maybe some other family has some pictures you can get copies of. there are no copies anywhere. they were it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 I am so, so sorry. That is really truly awful, family photos are irreplaceable 😞 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashfern Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 😢 Sorry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acadie Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 I'm so sorry. Losing the photos and slides would be anguish for me too. What a horrible thing to do, no matter what happened in their marriage. For a year or two we thought most of our childhood photos had been mistakenly thrown away, but half of them were later found. This is a very different, intentional situation, but I hope, somehow, a few treasures turn up somewhere for you. Amy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 how heartbreaking, especially the old photos. So sad for you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 Many, many (hugs) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanchy Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 I understand how you feel. We had a "losing our family photos" scare last week. Thank God, we were able to save them. Is there any legal action that you can take against her? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 21, 2019 Author Share Posted February 21, 2019 24 minutes ago, Vanchy said: I understand how you feel. We had a "losing our family photos" scare last week. Thank God, we were able to save them. Is there any legal action that you can take against her? nope - my brother has been fighting her with his divorce back and forth for ten years. final decree just came down. it's over. I am tempted to ask his dd (who likes her step-mother, and thinks she's wonderful), if she knows anything about the pictures/slides because the last time anyone knew anything about them - they were in their house... iow: wake up dear, your step mom is just as bad (and possibly worse) than your dad (to whom you refuse to speak.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 (edited) I can't tell you how sorry I am that you have to deal with someone like that in your life. Ugh. Because the court ordered her to keep those things, can you get the court involved regarding everything she got rid of that she had been told to keep? (Not just the photos, but everything?) Not because revenge is the answer, but it might prevent her from getting rid of other things that are family treasures. ETA: Sorry, I see you answered this already. Edited February 21, 2019 by J-rap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
May Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 I’m so sorry😢My sister took all that she wanted out of our grandma’s house and then sold the house with the stuff she didn’t want. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acadie Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 4 hours ago, gardenmom5 said: I am tempted to ask his dd (who likes her step-mother, and thinks she's wonderful), if she knows anything about the pictures/slides because the last time anyone knew anything about them - they were in their house... iow: wake up dear, your step mom is just as bad (and possibly worse) than your dad (to whom you refuse to speak.) If you ask the question in a factual manner and let her draw her own conclusions, I think that might be ok. The hard part for me would be refraining from the much deserved editorializing. Amy 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EMS83 Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 (edited) That sort of thing is just...really unfathomable for me. It's someone else's stuff...you could just give it back... Edited February 21, 2019 by CES2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 (edited) My paternal uncle, his wife and their youngest son would do something like what you described. They are really narcissistic and enjoy manipulating and hurting people. My maternal aunt has photos of my childhood with my parents, grandpa and her children so thankfully I could ask my aunt and her children for copies. Edited February 21, 2019 by Arcadia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted February 21, 2019 Share Posted February 21, 2019 35 minutes ago, Arcadia said: My paternal uncle, his wife and their youngest son would do something like what you described. They are really narcissistic and enjoy manipulating and hurting people. My maternal aunt has photos of my childhood with my parents, grandpa and her children so thankfully I could ask my aunt and her children for copies. My mother is like this. We've been estranged for a long time and I have almost no family photos. Years ago, she tried to bribe my oldest ds into having a relationship with her by telling him she'd give him pictures of me and my dad (he's deceased). I told ds it wasn't worth it but I sure would love to have those pictures. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoeless Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 (edited) 41 minutes ago, Kassia said: My mother is like this. We've been estranged for a long time and I have almost no family photos. Years ago, she tried to bribe my oldest ds into having a relationship with her by telling him she'd give him pictures of me and my dad (he's deceased). I told ds it wasn't worth it but I sure would love to have those pictures. My mother is like this, as well. She's currently holding my great-grandmother's china, my baby photos, and my grandmother's jewelry hostage. Oh, and she threw away all the hand-crochet linens and lace that were made by FOUR generations of women in my family. Never offered them to me or anyone else. She periodically dangles the hope of great grandma's china in front of me and then later claims she never promised to give it to anyone and it's HERS and she'll do what she wants with it. She's convinced it's worth a small fortune and I'm afraid that she'll throw it out once she realizes old, fussy china has dropped in value. Just, ugh. Keep the jewelry, just let me have the photos and the china! But no...it's more fun to be spiteful about it. Edited February 22, 2019 by MissLemon 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoeless Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 (edited) Ack! How did that happen!? I can't seem to delete the giant emoji. Yikes, attention seeking much, Miss Lemon? lol Edited February 22, 2019 by MissLemon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted February 22, 2019 Author Share Posted February 22, 2019 4 hours ago, CES2005 said: That sort of thing is just...really unfathomable for me. It's someone else's stuff...you could just give it back... my brother thinks she has borderline personality disorder. (from my own observation - there's something.) manipulative spiteful overly-dramatic people do thinks just to hurt other's. because they can. 9 hours ago, May said: I’m so sorry😢My sister took all that she wanted out of our grandma’s house and then sold the house with the stuff she didn’t want. my mother has double cousins - their fathers are brothers and their mothers are sisters. the two girls went into their parents house and locked the doors. they took what they wanted - then they let their four brothers inside to chose from what they didn't want. "it's the daughters right". my grandmother's covert narcissism didn't develop in a bubble - I've definitely seen signs in a number of her sisters of being completely messed up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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