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College kids......it just doesn't get easier.....


DawnM
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Both college kids contacted me yesterday.  Oldest (Aspie) is sick.  I spent almost an hour on the phone with him while I was at work.  He was panicking because it is mid-terms and he has something......so I got an appt with him for the clinic, only to have him walk in and walk back out.  Mind you, he didn't have his health card, so I spent 15 min. with DH and other son to try to get a photo of the card to send to his phone (I have my own insurance through work and kids are on DH's plan).

He walked out because, "Mom, I didn't know what to do, I didn't feel comfortable talking to strangers behind the desk."   ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Then he was so upset he was failing a class (he isn't!).

Middle son (different college) emailed me to tell me his phone has completely broken and doesn't work anymore.  So, I had to order him a new phone to arrive Friday (he doesn't have a car at school.)

DO NOT GET ME WRONG.....I am thankful for my kids.  They are healthy, alive, thriving, and I love them dearly.  I am not complaining......it just stressed me out yesterday.

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Aww, that’s rough. My son is sick at college right now. We have a text chain for dh, me and both college kids and he texted on there he thinks he has food poisoning. Dd, who has had food poisoning before, took over the conversation as head nurse. 

It does feel helpless when they are not at home and sick. 

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19 minutes ago, Quill said:

Aww, that’s rough. My son is sick at college right now. We have a text chain for dh, me and both college kids and he texted on there he thinks he has food poisoning. Dd, who has had food poisoning before, took over the conversation as head nurse. 

It does feel helpless when they are not at home and sick. 

 

I seriously considered leaving work yesterday at 1pm and driving down (4 hours) there to help him get to an Urgent Care.  DH told me to wait and go early in the am if necessary, and by last night, my son had taken aka seltzer plus cold and was feeling better.  He told me not to come and he would be ok.   He has to take liquid or dissolving tablets as he can't swallow pills.

Edited by DawnM
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DH and I are headed to dd's school this afternoon to take her to the doctor. She's been doing well so far in getting to her appointments although she's texting me until the doctor walks in. She needs the assurance that she's doing everything right. I don't believe she's gotten a proper diagnosis yet so she asked if I would go with her to help talk to the doctor. At least she's only 90 minutes away. That's not too bad.

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Parenting from afar has unique challenges. DS is 12 hours away and there have been times I want to drop everything and drive out there to save the day. That is impossible, however, because he has my car and DH and I are currently sharing a vehicle and I couldn't leave him stranded. Due to necessity, I have become adept at text-parenting, email-parenting, and emoji-parenting; sometimes using all three methods within the same conversation.

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UGH! I get it. Our middle one, the one that is medically underweight, got sick back in November - food poisoning on top of then some sort of respiratory thing - and didn't call us. He didn't have his friends who found him passed out in his room call us either!!!! I found out after the fact. And he lost 10 lbs while sick which is something he cannot afford to have happen. I would have been down there in a heartbeat with him at the ER first, then back home to his physician and nutritionist to made a plan, but nope...two weeks later I find out. Thanksgiving was not a long enough break for me to get him built back up. We managed to get 3 lbs on him at Christmas, but he still hasn't regained the other 7 lbs. 

 

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It actually doesn’t necessarily get easier when they are out of college and on their own. Youngest dd lives across the country and is struggling- financially and trying to help her chronically ill boyfriend through multiple hospitalizations. Oldest dd has four kids and is struggling with medical issues with two of them- it’s hard to watch adult kids struggle and not jump in and fix it, but they know we’re here to listen and sympathize and offer advice when asked. 

Dawn, Beth, Quill...hope your kids are on the mend soon.

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this thread makes me glad I'm not alone; we're so new to this "adult kid" thing (I mean, he's 21, but he just left for college in January...), I have no idea what feelings are "normal" and what are "too much."  We *did* drive up and surprise him on Tuesday, midweek, because he was behind in homework and we got an email with some worrisome language in it, and figured the in-person would be easier/better than trying to do things over the phone. We are, thankfully, close enough to do so. 

Mostly we text and email and encourage him to do things himself, and mostly he does, but....man, it's an adjustment. I'm glad to know we're not the only ones feeling this way, though. 

Hugs to everyone; Margaret, I can't even imagine. 

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I understand.  It's so hard to manage this stuff at a distance.  Our college daughter's laptop is about the die.  I'm sure it will wait until she's trying to do something important on a deadline to actually die.  It's hard when they're sick.

Is he comfortable doing Uber to get meds?  

Hugs Dawn.  You're doing a great job

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