iamonlyone Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 Our son is living with his girlfriend, and has been seeing her since last winter/early spring. What types of gifts would be appropriate for me to buy her for Christmas? None of my children have previously had a serious relationship. Living together before marriage is outside of our family's faith belief, so we don't have anyone to ask for their input (i.e., no one lived together before marriage on either side of the family at least through the four generations I know of). We like his girlfriend, but we don't know her well. We have gotten together a handful of times at our house for dinner, and they came to one of our younger daughter's soccer games and her graduation last spring. So far, I know she likes black olives (can't wrap up a can of those!) and doesn't like to eat leftovers (not helpful). She has a sweet pitbull-mix dog she loves. I don't know if she uses scented lotions/soaps. I would rather not give her a gift card, as everyone else will have a stack of wrapped gift boxes. I have asked son for gift ideas, and he realized he needs to be coming up with some of those himself; he didn't have any suggestions. Ideas? (I don't think I'll get her the same things I'm getting our daughters. I don't know if she would be OK with that or feel like I was presuming.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 We decided that when our kids are dating, their gf/bf receives a token gift at Christmas. something fairly generic- favorite candy or splurge food (black Olives!)plus a ‘gift’- a warm throw for watching movies on the couch, a nice scarf or gloves/hat set, or something like that. Once they get married their gift is then equivalent to the other ‘kids’. That worked well for oldest- she married the first guy she dated. Dd2 dated one guy for five years then broke up. Dated the next one five years then broke up. So no more spouses joining our family since SIL. Our youngest Dd is also living w her boyfriend and this year he will receive a token gift, but if they are still together next year we might go head and make his gift equal to dd’s. but that’s just how we worked it out- you have to sort through this yourself. Our plan of date then marry hasn’t worked out so we had to adjust. Hope you can find something sweet to give her. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 You might give her a few gifts that she can enjoy with your son such as: A gift certificate for a local pizza place (perhaps with a note suggesting she ask for extra olives as a topping) or A game that can be played with two people: Fungi (we like Morels which is basically the same game but more costly) Hive Pocket Bananagrams SET Regards, Kareni 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggirl Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 Scarf/wrap/pashmina gloves fuzzy/fun socks or houseshoes Piece of fun jewelry 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 I actually like the gf gifts to be a tad inpersonal. I just don’t like to go all in and treat them like a child of mine while just dating. That said, I haven’t dealt with the living together situation so maybe if feel differently. I have done a nice throw, good chocolate, nice socks or fuzzy socks. A soft hoodie would be an idea but I haven’t done that. I was thinking of a nice stainless steel water bottle for this year. I try to hit thoughtful and kind without “welcome to the family!!!” Just less pressure for everyone. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selkie Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 Lots of great suggestions so far. If it were me, I'd get her dog a little something, too - a toy or bag of treats. She'd probably love that.? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 Is she in college or did she graduate from college? If so, maybe an ornament or some kind of apparel from the school? I agree with the scarf, gloves, throw, fuzzy socks ideas. A nice bookmark if she reads, specialty foods, teas, cocoa (but you'd have to have some idea of likes/dislikes besides olives ? ). Make-up brushes with beauty blender and one of those brush cleaners? A beauty box from Target or something similar from Ulta or Sephora? If you have some idea what size she wears, fleece leggings or leggings in fun patterns. I like the stainless steel water bottle idea, too. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 (edited) Joint gift for the two of them together? We gave Dd and bf a set of patio furniture for their new apartment as a joint graduation gift. Tickets for an event they can attend together? Edited October 6, 2018 by regentrude 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 I have gotten in the past: Beeswax candles (pillars) and / or candle warmers. Candy type treats / granola bars / small coffee packs or special tea blends. A nice, large mug / coffee / tea cup 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamonlyone Posted October 6, 2018 Author Share Posted October 6, 2018 (edited) These are great ideas! Thank you so much! It really helps to get your thoughts about size and types of gifts. We already have some fun Christmas fuzzy socks that I have purchased ahead. I think I'll add some good chocolates, a water bottle, and a fun treat for the doggie. Edited October 6, 2018 by iamonlyone 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 On 10/6/2018 at 12:37 PM, Liz CA said: Beeswax candles (pillars) ... I think that candles are a wonderful gift. They can be enjoyed as decor for a time then burned. No permanent storage required! Regards, Kareni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madteaparty Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 (edited) I think anything scented is sort of a personal preference. I like the pashmina/scarf/gloves suggestion and would add cardigan to it (who doesn’t need another cardigan)! do they need fancy stuff for their apartment? My in laws gave me nice knives 15 yrs ago, still in use. Etc. Edited October 10, 2018 by madteaparty 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 (edited) When I was a girlfriend, I received nice perfume, a silk sweater and simple gold jewelry ($40 to $100 items with more expensive items in later years). A gold bracelet, simple hoops, etc (I used to only wear very delicate jewelry but now wear none). This family was well off, so I am sure the gifts were 'modest girlfriend gifts' to them. The next family I was a girlfriend in, I don't think bought me gifts. Which was fine, because I didn't have any idea what to buy them. I think for the first several years after dh and I were married, we bought them a meat/cheese box due to lack of other ideas. After we married the gifts to us were thoughtful, well needed household gifts. DD received more token gifts of a candle, gift cards, small air plant etc. Very thoughtful items that reflected her interests/preferences but in the $10 range. For dds first boyfriend I bought a leather bound collection of Edgar Allen Poe works (holiday sale) and a few things like portable charger, snacks and other small stocking gifts. I probably spent $50. I love buying presents so I was happy to give him something he will likely keep even after they broke up....I hope he did. For her next boyfriend (now husband), he specifically asked that I not buy him a gift so he didn't fell the need to reciprocate (he was a teenager with limited income). Instead I gave them a date night as an extra present to dd. 2 movie tix and $75 for a nice dinner. (enough to cover the meal, parking, tip etc) He was absolutely happy with the non-gift and made sure to send me a super sweet thank you text and picture of them having dinner on their date night. Edited October 10, 2018 by Tap 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 My MIL has excellent taste, much nicer than my own, and when DH and I were dating, she would get me things like nice but not super fancy earrings, flannel sheets (when I was in college in a cold climate), flannel pjs (actually, she still buys me these every couple of years because I love them), nice sweaters. . . I kind of agree with the person who said it's okay for girlfriend gifts to be a little on the impersonal side so you don’t presume too much. Getting a little toy or treat for the dog sounds super sweet too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 Will she be spending Christmas/opening gifts with your family? I'd probably get her more than just a token gift since they're living together and she probably sees herself as more than just a girlfriend? But, you don't need to go overboard either. I got my ds's first serious girlfriend a pretty blouse from a nice shop that seemed like her style, and a book that I thought she might like based on what I knew about her. As far as the book, of course you can get pretty generic ones. If the two of them enjoy hiking, for example, you can get them a book on local hikes they could do. But, I have four dd's and they were able to help me pick out a blouse; other people might not like doing that! Otherwise... If you have cold weather, a nice knit scarf? A cardigan sweater (If you know her style) Cute knit mittens Winter candle Throw blanket Wool socks A lightly scented body lotion An imported jar of olives (you could get it at an international deli?) A brooch A travel mug A tea glass that comes with its own strainer, and tea 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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