AimeeM Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 (edited) The Marvelous Flying Marco had a potty incident, well over a year ago, at rest area toilet. He was terrified of the potty after that incident (it involved automatic flushing toilets, aliens, and supposed space ships). Completely regressed and it took us months to get him where he would urinate or have a bowel movement in his DIAPER without panicking -- because he associated urinating (at all) with the toilet flushing under him, since that's what he was doing at the time. Well, then the hand dryer went off outside the stall, and he started screaming about aliens and space ships... fun times. He's 5 now. As of last week, he's in panties only -- no diaper, even overnight. I'm so proud of him! However, he will NOT have a bowel movement in the potty. It's been like 5 days now. He is not in any discomfort. I have tried miralax in small doses (because we have another chronically constipated child who has had to use it occasionally). Nothing. He's scared to poop. He said as much. If I put him back in a diaper, that will be it. He will not go back into panties for a very, very long time. He will only understand that suddenly five year olds CAN wear diapers, and he may not use the toilet again. As it is, he has to be reminded every couple of hours to use the potty -- so he still doesn't have a clear understanding of his body's signals... but he's made such huge progress that I really, really, really do not want to put him back into a diaper. I could take him to the doctor, because he may sincerely be unable to have a bowel movement for some reason -- but this option has to be approached so, so, so cautiously. If I take him to the doctor, and she administers anything... er... uncomfortable... then doctors' appointments will become hell with Marco. More than they already are. As it stands, currently, he wears his headphones into the office, hands over his ears, completely rigid, rocks back and forth, and has to be carried... refuses to speak or look up (eyes remain shut)... because, one time, well over a year ago, they had Daniel Tiger playing in the waiting room (he is absolutely terrified of Daniel Tiger), and this particular child never forgets. He doesn't mind shots or blood draws... but if it goes any other "way," it could be really hard to ever get him back into the doctor. His doctor's office isn't a bad place right now for him (the waiting room terrifies him, but not the exam rooms -- he's cool in the exam rooms) and I don't want to mess that up. I will if I have to, but it isn't preferable. Any ideas at all? If he hasn't had a BM by tomorrow, I'm likely just going to put a diaper on him. I don't want him to be in pain. Edited June 30, 2017 by AimeeM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 I am so sorry! The auto toliets and crazy high powered hand dryers scare my newly 5 year old too. I don't have advice on the poop situation though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Will he poop in a non-flushing potty? (Like a training potty?) I mean, it sucks to clean but it would be preferable to going back to diapers, maybe? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 (edited) Will he poop in a non-flushing potty? (Like a training potty?) I mean, it sucks to clean but it would be preferable to going back to diapers, maybe? He's on a training toilet now and that's what he won't poop in :( I don't mind cleaning it up at all. I'd like this to be as little stress as possible for him, because I don't want him to associate pooping with being scared -- lest we end up in the same position as we were in a year ago. His receptive language skills are very limited, so explaining anything to him is touchy. Edited June 30, 2017 by AimeeM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
almondbutterandjelly Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Ply him with prunes? My dd has tried dried prunes and prune juice and wet prunes, and she likes dried prunes the best. Cherry juice is also supposed to be good for speeding things along. Yogurt is often good for intestinal things. Maybe it would help, too? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 (edited) Ply him with prunes? My dd has tried dried prunes and prune juice and wet prunes, and she likes dried prunes the best. Cherry juice is also supposed to be good for speeding things along. Yogurt is often good for intestinal things. Maybe it would help, too? Those are great ideas. He has sensory issues related to foods and will not eat prunes or any juice that isn't a specific brand of apples juice. Or yogurt. Soft foods (like yogurts, peanut butters, etc. are all things he won't eat). I've been hiding miralax in ginger ale :p Edited June 30, 2017 by AimeeM 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Sadly no advice but many hugs. My nearly five year old is finally making progress on the potty training front, which I hope means we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel with his poop smearing issues. Onward and upward! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 (edited) Has he ever pooped in the bath? If he has you could try a long soak in the tub to see if he will relax enough to go. Not that you want that to become a pattern but it could potentially be a non traumatic non diaper temporary fix... Edited June 30, 2017 by maize 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 Had he ever pooped in the bath? If he has you could try a long soak in the tub to see if he will relax enough to go. Not that you want that to become a pattern but it could potentially be a non traumatic non diaper temporary fix... No, he hasn't. I would do it if I thought it would help! I just want this to be easier for him. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
almondbutterandjelly Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Well, when my dd was in hospital after surgery, they finally resorted to an enema. Obviously, that would not be a great idea for your son, but maybe sitting in a bathtub for awhile might help? Does he drink coffee? That might move things along. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Is he bribeable at all? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 Is he bribeable at all? Oh, I wish. Not even a little. I've tried money, movie theatres, new toys, and the promise of no bedtime the night he poops. Nothing. My other children are so much pliable, lol. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 (edited) Well, when my dd was in hospital after surgery, they finally resorted to an enema. Obviously, that would not be a great idea for your son, but maybe sitting in a bathtub for awhile might help? Does he drink coffee? That might move things along. Will the bathtub help, do you think? He's not a huge fan of baths, but I can get him in and he calms down once he's in. Does the water have to be very warm? Edited June 30, 2017 by AimeeM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
almondbutterandjelly Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 I wouldn't think the water would have to be particularly warm. You might want to put Epsom salts in it. I found this on the internet: Epsom salts. "If the constipation is incredibly resistant to change, then we get a little more serious," Dr. Weizer says, noting that soaking in an Epsom salt bath (five cups of salt) for at least 10 minutes can help. When you soak in an Epsom salt bath, magnesium is absorbed into your muscles, which relaxes the gut. That extra magnesium also draws water into your gut to help soften your bowel movement. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 Said child would also poop in the tub when he had been having more than the usual trouble. Yes, warm. I'm good with him pooping in the tub. He's never pooped in the tub before, but I don't care if he does at this point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 I wouldn't think the water would have to be particularly warm. You might want to put Epsom salts in it. I found this on the internet: Epsom salts. "If the constipation is incredibly resistant to change, then we get a little more serious," Dr. Weizer says, noting that soaking in an Epsom salt bath (five cups of salt) for at least 10 minutes can help. When you soak in an Epsom salt bath, magnesium is absorbed into your muscles, which relaxes the gut. That extra magnesium also draws water into your gut to help soften your bowel movement. I will buy some tomorrow! Thank you!!! ETA: if he ingests some of the salts, dissolved, it won't hurt him, right? He splashes around in the tub and sometimes licks his fingers in the tub. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frances Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Is he bribeable at all?This. After one negative experience at preschool, my son once refused to poop in the toilet. After a few days and seeing him in obvious discomfort and getting very concerned about his physical health, we went for straight up extreme bribery, something we had never used up to that point in parenting. He chose the reward, we made a chart, and after seven days straight of pooping he got his prize. I say extreme bribery because although quite cheap, the prize he chose was not something we would normally ever have bought for him. Fortunately, the novelty of it quickly wore off and we never had an issue again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
almondbutterandjelly Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 The internet says he should be fine. I also saw a baking soda bath as another suggestion for constipation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Miralax, epsom salts, and prunes are our best friends, here. Best of luck to you both! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 There are some yoga poses (relaxing and easy ones) that are said to be good for constipation. Will he lay on the floor and stretch with mommy? Then a nice soak in the tub? (Sound good to me! :p) Hope you find a stress-free way to get him going. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 I will buy some tomorrow! Thank you!!! ETA: if he ingests some of the salts, dissolved, it won't hurt him, right? He splashes around in the tub and sometimes licks his fingers in the tub. Not a problem at all, Epsom salts can also be taken internally. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 I understand your concern about putting him back in diapers. Just wanted to share what we did in case it helps. My son who is autistic and was not very verbal at the time trained at age 6. He would not poop in the toilet for a long time, but I could tell when he needed to. I put him in a diaper and had him go in the bathroom to do #2. When he was done he went back into underpants. He could only wear a diaper for a bm and then he had to remain in the bathroom until finished. Eventually he began to sit on the toilet for #2. It was a process, but it worked. Just wanted to share and I hope you find what works for you and supports Marco. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Good luck! May you be "fishing for brown trout" soon. ;) I hope you are also able to find a good longer term solution! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MommyLiberty5013 Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Aside from the immediate BM trouble, does it make sense with your DS to let him explore a clean toilet? Touch it. Listen to it. Take the lid off the tank? Or a YouTube about how toilets work and the sewer system? Maybe you could help him with automatic ones by showing him other things that are automatic, like lights or even our breathing. And I know you probably don't want to encourage the alien idea, but if aliens are from outer space, AKA above, and a toilet is below, then aliens cannot come from below...so no aliens. Another concept is that some toilets are smarter than others...like phones. You could make a joke about smart toilets and dumb toilets. "Look DS, this is a smart toilet!! It's going to flush for you!" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 I would agree with trying a warm Epsom salts bath. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daria Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Aside from the immediate BM trouble, does it make sense with your DS to let him explore a clean toilet? Touch it. Listen to it. Take the lid off the tank? Or a YouTube about how toilets work and the sewer system? Maybe you could help him with automatic ones by showing him other things that are automatic, like lights or even our breathing. And I know you probably don't want to encourage the alien idea, but if aliens are from outer space, AKA above, and a toilet is below, then aliens cannot come from below...so no aliens. Another concept is that some toilets are smarter than others...like phones. You could make a joke about smart toilets and dumb toilets. "Look DS, this is a smart toilet!! It's going to flush for you!" I agree that, if he will tolerate it, learning about toilets might help. At the school I used to work at, they came in one weekend and added auto flush to all the preschool toilets. Unfortunately, a couple kids were traumatized before the staff even found out what they'd done. They called me in (I was a behavior specialist) and we drew a lot of pictures of toilets, and sewer systems and hung them all over the bathroom. We also kept stacks of post it notes next to the TP so kids could experiment with covering and uncovering the sensors. It worked. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 I went by the pharmacy today and spoke with the pharmacist. Right now, tonight, we are trying the following (in this order): 1. Pedialax (apparently more effective than miralax, less harsh than some other stimulants) & a diaper on 2. Epsom salt bath If the above doesn't work, we'll try a suppository. I will definitely try letting him experiment with the toilet -- once he poops. Right now we're just counting our blessings that we got him on a toddler potty for now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 (edited) I'd try miralax in large doses first. He needs a clean out. A large dose for about 3 days in a row would be a start. I dealt with this for years. I'd def try a clean out with large doses before going to the doctor which could be traumatizing for some kids, but I'm used to it and comfortable dealing with it at home. Small doses are for small problems. http://www.ucanpooptoo.com/ They had an online program our doctor referred us too which really helped. I'm not sure if it's still there but you could click around and see- the website looks different but it's been years. ETA: It looks like they may only have their online program available through doctors right now. When we were in it you could just sign yourself up. It was a good program. Maybe you could ask your pediatrician about it. Edited June 30, 2017 by Paige Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fdrinca Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 In addition to Epsom salts, magnesium taken internally can be very moving. Larger doses of Natural Calm usually do the trick for my toilet boycotter. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted July 1, 2017 Author Share Posted July 1, 2017 We have officially had movement. God bless pedialax and God bless diapers. Now, to convince him that this doesn't mean he can go back to diapers entirely. But I'll worry about that tomorrow or the next day. Right now I'm celebrating The Movement :) 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daria Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 We have officially had movement. God bless pedialax and God bless diapers. Now, to convince him that this doesn't mean he can go back to diapers entirely. But I'll worry about that tomorrow or the next day. Right now I'm celebrating The Movement :) :party: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 If needed could you do the step of having g him wear the diaper but either stay in the bathroom to poop or even sit on his potty chair with a loose diaper on to poop? This would be the time I would ply with electronics. Keep up a low dose of the meds daily and then have "sitting time" every day after meals....with electronics if that is motivating to him. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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