Ann.without.an.e Posted May 12, 2017 Share Posted May 12, 2017 I don't know him personally but she worked closely with him (he was also the owner of the small business). It is a horrible situation. He was robbed at gunpoint and then stabbed over 12 times. My mom is the most together, "I'm fine" person. What does she need from me right now? What can I do to show support? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 12, 2017 Share Posted May 12, 2017 (edited) Ask her what she needs and let her know you're there for her if she wants to talk about it. Maybe you can offer to attend the wake or the funeral with her. I'm so sorry this happened. That poor man. :crying: Edited May 12, 2017 by Catwoman 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted May 12, 2017 Share Posted May 12, 2017 Man that is horrible. So sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted May 12, 2017 Share Posted May 12, 2017 I would be understanding if she becomes a little unusual for a bit. Even if she seems fine now, this would take a toll on someone. Just, wow. How awful. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted May 12, 2017 Share Posted May 12, 2017 (edited) I grew up in a drugs and gangs neighborhood. There were gang related deaths. We felt numb, sadness and fear. The gangs do not touch the residents but there is fear of being caught in the crossfire and sadness because someone was killed. The numbness is a protection mechanism because there were exams to take and work to attend to. Does your mom has anything to keep her busy? Just be there and let her process in her own time. Edited May 12, 2017 by Arcadia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted May 12, 2017 Share Posted May 12, 2017 This is so horrible! Yes, if you can, ask your mom what she needs. She may not even know but you can ask. If you live near enough maybe you can bring her some food and just let her talk if she needs that. And if it is feasible, yes offer to take her to the funeral. I would be understanding if she becomes a little unusual for a bit. Even if she seems fine now, this would take a toll on someone. Just, wow. How awful. Agreed. She may seem off or not right now but the full impact may not hit for days or weeks or even months. Be prepared to need to offer her more support later, when shock and adrenaline have worn off. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
East Coast Sue Posted May 12, 2017 Share Posted May 12, 2017 (edited) Can you offer to make a meal, order flowers, or send a card to his family? I also like the idea of attending the services with your mom. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Edited May 12, 2017 by Sue in TX 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selkie Posted May 12, 2017 Share Posted May 12, 2017 That poor man, how horrible! Did this happen at the location where your mom works? If so, I imagine it would be very difficult to continue working there. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted May 12, 2017 Share Posted May 12, 2017 Scary! I would probably take dinner to her and just sit with her. If she wants to talk, talk but let her initiate the conversation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted May 12, 2017 Share Posted May 12, 2017 I'm sorry. In that situation I'd be open about asking if there were anything I could do - including attending the funeral or whatever is available. Then if she said she's fine, I'd respect that too. I don't think there is one correct way to respond. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted May 12, 2017 Share Posted May 12, 2017 It may or may not affect how safe she feels. Like someone else said, she's probably going to have trouble returning to work if it happened there. A couple nuns from my church were stabbed to death last year. It was very upsetting to the whole community. Still don't know the motive, we just speculated. Anyway, it really messed with me and how safe I felt even though they caught the guy within a fairly short amount of time. I spoke to a couple professionals about it and basically realized I had survivor's guilt (I dreamt about being stabbed to death a few days before it happened). Just talk to her. Who knows what she's thinking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted May 12, 2017 Share Posted May 12, 2017 Let her know you're there for her. Don't be surprised if she seems to be doing okay and then in a few weeks is suddenly having a hard time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magic Posted May 13, 2017 Share Posted May 13, 2017 (edited) nm Edited May 13, 2017 by magic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 13, 2017 Share Posted May 13, 2017 Oh so hard :(. I have no good advice except just being there to listen and be a safe person if she needs to talk it through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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