Question about an idea I have (especially parents of older teens/early 20's)

[AmandaVT]

I've had an idea kicking around in my head for almost 2 years now and I am thinking about pitching it to my DH. Before I do, I figured I'd run it by the Hive. :-) 

 

DH is a licensed mental health counselor. Before he moved to private practice, he was an emergency mental health counselor and before that he was a counselor in the public school system. He specializes in late teens, early 20's, typically, although not exclusively. 

 

My thought was that a good number of kids graduating high school could use some support transitioning to either college or a career path. Launching, if you will. I've had a few friends over the past couple of years with graduating seniors and all the kids ran into roadblocks. I think it's super common, I know I did after I graduated and while transitioning to college. I've also watched some of my former gymnasts (who have all sent me friend requests on FB) flounder a bit while figuring out what to do post high school. 

 

He could talk to his contacts in the local high schools and set up an informational night for parents and/or kids and then meet individually and in small groups throughout the summer (maybe once a month). Then, once the college kids head off, he could be available for skype calls, either regular or on an as needed basis with the opportunity for in-person check-ins during college breaks. And as the career kids start to apply for jobs, apartments, etc, he could be another resource for them as they figure out how to be a young adult. 

 

Does this sound like something potentially valuable? 

 

 

[Rosie_0801]

Who is going to pay him to do that? Because the teens won't be able to afford it!

[gardenmom5]

I think there are people/students who would find it useful.

 

eta: and yes - while some parents will be able to afford to pay him, i'd be concerned the kids who need it most wouldn't be able to afford to pay.

Edited May 2, 2017 by gardenmom5

[PinkTulip]

Something like this would have been extremely valuable in my family, and as a parent, I would have happily paid to help my son make that transition. He had a rough first semester, but then did much better second semester.

[Seasider]

I actually know of more new college graduates who are dead in the water post graduation - leaving the familiarity of the college campus life and perhaps a smaller college town that's become their first independent home is overwhelming. So maybe there's a need on both sides of college.

 

Yet I wonder the same thing as Rosie, who's going to pay for that?

[kiana]

It would have been hugely helpful for me but my parents would never have paid for it. 

[Suzanne in ABQ]

I sent my son to a counselor last summer, before he moved far away for college in Sept.  It helped him tremendously!  He was really stuggling with letting go, moving away, being on his own, not knowing anyone, doing adult stuff, and saying goodbye everything he knew.  He was worried about bugs!  He expressed all this as agitation and a bit of depression, and he couldn't sleep.  I have no idea what he talked about with that counselor, but she did wonders for him.  He is doing great over there in Florida, keeping on top of his schedule and his coursework, paying bills, cooking most of his own meals.  It was exactly what he needed to make that transition.  Our insurance paid for much of it, but it was totally worth it, and I would have paid if necessary.

 

His sister, on the other hand, who always seemed to have it together through homeschool, high school, and the first two years of college (1 1/2 hours away), is now struggling.  She has a counselor at school, but I don't know that they're helping much.  She'll be moving home and transferring to the local university next year, changing majors, and trying to find a new path.  I'm glad she'll be home so I can observe her and maybe figure out what is going on with her.  I may send her to my son's counselor when she gets home.

 

I had to ask around to find a counselor for my son who specialized in young men his age.  Fortunately, I have several friends who are psychologists and counselors.  It would have been nice to be able to look up Transitions Counseling or something like that.  There is definitely a need.  

Edited May 3, 2017 by Suzanne in ABQ

[fairfarmhand]

We've used similar services. And our insurance paid for it. We've got great insurance though.

 

BTW, if he could set up a sliding scale, that would be most helpful for many struggling kids.

[Guest]

*I* can't imagine paying for a service like that, but I know many parents who probably would - the same parents who spent thousands of dollars on SAT prep classes/tutors, personal sports coaches to get their kid at a recruitable level, or college application assistants who helped them make rosey, awesome college apps.

 

I'm with another poster, though, in thinking there's a pretty big flounder point post college graduation, especially if the earned degree is not so specific that it immediately lends itself to a certain career (such as accounting, say).

 

The propensity to flounder post high school is one reason I'm not a big proponent of a Gap Year.

[MistyMountain]

I think the people who need that kind of help the most would not be the ones to seek it out or afford it. Generally first generation college students who parents are low income are the ones who have a harder time launching and being successful in college. I am sure there are kids that could use this kind of help that do have coverage for it or parents willing to pay but there are other type of stuff that that age group need to work through too. I think a big problem is the partying and hook up culture.

Edited May 3, 2017 by MistyMountain

[amy g.]

My 22 year old is across the country at college.

 

She has a "tutor" who is a former professor at the college. When she was teaching, she noticed that the school was filled with very smart kids who for one reason or another were floundering or worse flunking out. So she started a company to help them with the transition. I think many of her clients have ADHD.

 

My own kid pays around $60 per hour to meet weekly to go over assignments and make a schedule for the next week.

 

Some things I know are that the tutor looks over her papers and makes suggestions. She will say things like, "These papers are almost finished. Do not spend more than 3 more hours on either of them." Or "Do not even start the paper that you are interested in until you have a rough copy for the one you think is boring, otherwise it will just be an afterthought."

 

She also explains assignments when my Dd is confused. I've seen her send Dd emails to copy to get business done such as, "Dear person who has the info I need, I'm following up on our phone conversation..."

 

My Dd is so very frugal that she has made the money we have her for Fall semester last all year. It hurts her to spend money.

 

I was shocked when she said that she would keep her tutor even if she charged twice as much!

 

So I think there is a need. I think people would pay if they could see how much it was helping.

[fairfarmhand]

I think a huge help would be in the between college and high school group, real genuine career counseling. Helping kids envision what their future will look like and how to get there.

 

My dds college isn't so great at this. They are of the "Do what you love and the money will follow," Mindset. Not that I want my kids to pursue money and be miserable. But every career that sounds like fun won't pay the bills. Sometimes you study something to pay the bills so you CAN do what you love as a hobby.

 

But yeah, realistic career counseling would help a TON!

[AmandaVT]

Wow - thanks for the great feedback. I'm getting more excited about the idea. 

 

The in-person individual and group work should be covered by insurance and VT has a very high level of people insured - especially kids due to Dr. Dynasaur. He currently offers sliding scale rates for uninsured clients and has seen clients for as little as $10/hr when needed. Some insurance companies cover telehealth via a HIPPA compliant app like skype, but those could also be cash pay. 

 

He has a number of teens on his caseload right now that he's helping with the kid -> adult transition, as well as a couple of young adults. I know it's work that he enjoys and feels that he can do good work with if that makes sense. (I know that was terrible grammar but I've had a crappy day and my brain hurts tonight)

 

Post college transitional work is a great idea too! I'm going to think a bit more on this and talk to him when he's feeling a bit better. He has a gross cold and just found out he has a massive infection in his jaw bone from an old root canal, so he's not wanting to talk about much of anything tonight, poor guy. 

 

 

[Suzanne in ABQ]

*I* can't imagine paying for a service like that, but I know many parents who probably would - the same parents who spent thousands of dollars on SAT prep classes/tutors, personal sports coaches to get their kid at a recruitable level, or college application assistants who helped them make rosey, awesome college apps.

 

I'm with another poster, though, in thinking there's a pretty big flounder point post college graduation, especially if the earned degree is not so specific that it immediately lends itself to a certain career (such as accounting, say).

 

The propensity to flounder post high school is one reason I'm not a big proponent of a Gap Year.

 

 

But, but, but, *we* sent our son for help, and we never did any of those other things you listed.  We're not "that kind" of parent.  We got him help because he was really going through a hard time, just as we would have if he was suffering with a sinus infection.  We knew he had what he needed to succeed, but he didn't see past his own fears.  A few sessions with the counselor cleared away most of that, and gave him a clear plan.  He went from fearful, to excited, and eventually to successful.  He couldn't articulate his struggles to us, but he recognized his need, and welcomed the help.  I don't see it as a "service", per se, any more than I would if I were dealing with any other mental health issue.  High school does a terrible job preparing young people for "adulting", and it leaves little time for their families or outside life to do so.

 

I am totally with you on the gap year.  I absolutely hate that so many college admissions and scholarship policies have strict start dates (~ You must start the fall immediately after high school graduation).  Why?  I'm certain that my older daughter wouldn't be struggling now if she'd been able to have some time to work or volunteer or travel and figure out what she wanted to do before being forced into college.  Instead, in order to get her scholarships, she jumped right into a field that she thought was expected of her because she was good at math and physics (engineering).  She didn't like that, so she switched to mathematics, and she's almost finished with her math degree.  But she learned that, as a professional mathematician, she will primarily use computers to solve and process just about everything, and she hates programming with a white hot passion.  SOOOO, she doesn't know what she wants to do, but she's so burned out that she is now even floundering in her easy classes!  She's also sleeping an inordinate amount and losing weight.  She's miserable, she's almost 21.  She's changing majors (in her "senior" year), and she's moving home.  All because she didn't want to lose her stupid scholarship!  Sheesh.  Good counseling would have helped her make choices based on her own passions, interests, and values.  I wish we had sought that for her, but we thought she had it all together.  (Stellar student, focused, etc)

 

Transition counseling helped my son.  Counseling and/or a gap year would have help my daughter.  

[Jean in Newcastle]

That's my job even with my college student. Also we have similar services provided at ds' college for free. I'm sure that some would find it helpful but it is not something that we personally would want or need.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Okra]

I have to differ with the opinion of parents that shell out dollars for other things. We also never would think about some of these things Quill mentioned.

But, I would absolutely love to have something the OP mentioned. My kids have struggled with transitions, and having something like this would be wonderful. We would absolutely pay for it!  It sounds like a great idea.  I also like the idea of specializing in older teens and early 20's.

 

I say definitely suggest it!

Edited May 3, 2017 by Okra

[Guest]

I could fill one day's work with personal acquaintances who would loVe to pay for this for their kids.  These are not stupid people; it's just that the world has shifted and it's very different from when they were the same age as their kids.

 

I can't tell you how many times I have said (to myself):  I don't understand this generation:

I couldn't wait to get on with my life.  

I left living at home FROM my high school graduation party.  Yes, I returned one summer (before senior year of college) and for 6 months before my wedding.  But to LIVE?  Nope.

I got my driver's license when I was 16 and one minute old.

I did my homework because it was my job to do my homework.  

I would gladly have taken from my family their perfectly good and rarely used silvferware, kitchen equipment, pans and so on...instead of thinking I had to get all The Cool Things.

I worked all summer and during college to help pay for college and YES I also had some left for travel.  NOT first class.

Being a bum wasn't an option

Writing countless essays and questionnaires for college apps was completely outside my experience.  As was applying to more than 2 universities--applications cost money!

 

And so on.  

 

But I also realize that 

In my day, you COULD work a minimum wage job and get an apartment *with a roommate* and in a basement apartment with the drain hole in the middle of the living room floor.  And so we did that.  

In my day, you COULD work during the summers and school and pay for all but your tuition.  Not so anymore.

In my day and neck of the woods, you had a job if you were 16.  Maybe not 20 hours a week, but SOMETHING.  

 

And that brings me to my point (again):  I don't understand the world anymore.  And a counselor who did would have had a lot more credibility with my kid and I would have appreciated the help.

 

 

[Farrar]

My first impulse, if I was paying for something like that, would be to hire a career counselor though, not a mental health professional. Of course, it would depend on whether the floundering was about mental health issues or just getting launched in the world issues. Just something to think about, I guess...

[Guest]

But, but, but, *we* sent our son for help, and we never did any of those other things you listed. We're not "that kind" of parent. We got him help because he was really going through a hard time, just as we would have if he was suffering with a sinus infection. We knew he had what he needed to succeed, but he didn't see past his own fears. A few sessions with the counselor cleared away most of that, and gave him a clear plan. He went from fearful, to excited, and eventually to successful. He couldn't articulate his struggles to us, but he recognized his need, and welcomed the help. I don't see it as a "service", per se, any more than I would if I were dealing with any other mental health issue. High school does a terrible job preparing young people for "adulting", and it leaves little time for their families or outside life to do so.

 

I am totally with you on the gap year. I absolutely hate that so many college admissions and scholarship policies have strict start dates (~ You must start the fall immediately after high school graduation). Why? I'm certain that my older daughter wouldn't be struggling now if she'd been able to have some time to work or volunteer or travel and figure out what she wanted to do before being forced into college. Instead, in order to get her scholarships, she jumped right into a field that she thought was expected of her because she was good at math and physics (engineering). She didn't like that, so she switched to mathematics, and she's almost finished with her math degree. But she learned that, as a professional mathematician, she will primarily use computers to solve and process just about everything, and she hates programming with a white hot passion. SOOOO, she doesn't know what she wants to do, but she's so burned out that she is now even floundering in her easy classes! She's also sleeping an inordinate amount and losing weight. She's miserable, she's almost 21. She's changing majors (in her "senior" year), and she's moving home. All because she didn't want to lose her stupid scholarship! Sheesh. Good counseling would have helped her make choices based on her own passions, interests, and values. I wish we had sought that for her, but we thought she had it all together. (Stellar student, focused, etc)

 

Transition counseling helped my son. Counseling and/or a gap year would have help my daughter.

Don't get me wrong; I have nothing against counseling when it is needed.

 

But also, there's such a thing as working through a difficult point without paid help or even without outside help at all. When I graduated from high school, there was no clear path unfurling before me. My parents didn't even sit with me and ask me a single question about what I wanted to do or how I might get there. I'm not saying it was optimal, but I'm saying it worked out. Some of it was luck, some was a willingness to try anything.

 

I'm just thinking: it's not going to be crystal clear for every child, either before college or even during college or post graduation. But, so?

[Amira]

One niche he could fill would be with international students or kids who were raised as expats in other countries. Their parents are usually very far away and they're in a new culture (even the Americans). It can be a really hard transition.

[Another Lynn]

I think it's a great idea.