Baby shower etiqette question

[Tranquility7]

Thanks everyone! Decision made, so I deleted the OP :-)

 

Edited April 23, 2017 by tranquility7

[itsheresomewhere]

That sounds like the perfect gift for a MIL to give at the shower. I wouldn't think anything about the expensive gift from the MIL except what a lucky person your DDIL is to get it and not have to buy it.

[marbel]

I don't see anything wrong with that.   You're her MIL!  You get to give a big gift.

 

 

[Rachel]

Give the stroller, they will appreciate it.

[JustEm]

Stroller at the shower. You're the MIL, a more expensive gift is entirely normal.

[Tranquility7]

See, this is why I ask the Hive. Voila, decision made! I should have asked y'all at 4:00 this afternoon instead of belaboring it so long!

[footballmom]

Definitely stroller / system. She will be so happy to know that large need is taken care of. What types of things do you usually make that are gender specific? You could make simple rag burp cloths in neutral colors if you are a sewer, or neutral thank you cards for her to send if you are a papercrafter, or an IOU for something specific once the baby is born once you know the gender.

[slackermom]

I voted for giving the stroller at the shower. Since I worry about things like this too, I thought that perhaps giving an expensive gift might be seen as "showing somebody else up," if there are people there who think that way. But, with the shower next week, if someone else was counting on getting them that big gift, it would have been purchased already.  Mostly though, I think the parents-to-be will be thrilled. So, bring the stroller, and after the baby is born, you will have an opportunity to give them your little handmade gender-specific gift.

[TravelingChris]

For our daughter's wedding showers (one in each of cities where his family lives and where our family lives), both of the parent groups (us andP-I-L) gave the largest presents.  I think it is to be expected.

[Arcadia]

A big/expensive gift at a baby shower won't be out of place from parents and parents-in-laws.

 

Since I worry about things like this too, I thought that perhaps giving an expensive gift might be seen as "showing somebody else up," if there are people there who think that way.

My parents are more financially comfortable than my in-laws. So my parents paid for the crib and bought us a stroller when my oldest was 2 months old.

For my mom's family, the maternal grandparents buy the stroller, my dad's family couldn't care less who gift the stroller, while for my in-laws family a stroller is considered a luxury and my husband had to tell his mom off for her comments.

 

ETA:

My parents paid for the Maclaren Techno XT Stroller, Medieval Blue/Silver that I wanted for use on city streets and malls. It is showing a price of $369 on Amazon now. They also bought a Graco Jogger for strolling which shows a price of $129 online now.

Edited April 22, 2017 by Arcadia

[Farrar]

Because it's physically large, I might "give" it to them by wrapping something small (booties, a onesie, a hat, a bear, etc...) and enclosing a note or a picture of it or something but actually just have it shipped to them. Seems simpler to my Amazon trained brain, but would also have the added bonus of less "stuff" and be a little less ostentatious at the shower itself, if that makes sense.

[gardenmom5]

do what you want to do.   because you are the mil - you can give a much more expensive gift, and other people won't feel "awkward" because they didn't spend that much.  I gave my dd a kitchen aid mixer for her shower gift.  not even my mil (her grandmother) spent more than $40   if you are uncomfortable giving an expensive gift in front of other people - give something smaller.   

[LMD]

sounds perfect, and you can save the handmade gift for a birth-day present (use the shower to scope out colours that the new parents like!)

[Spryte]

Because it's physically large, I might "give" it to them by wrapping something small (booties, a onesie, a hat, a bear, etc...) and enclosing a note or a picture of it or something but actually just have it shipped to them. Seems simpler to my Amazon trained brain, but would also have the added bonus of less "stuff" and be a little less ostentatious at the shower itself, if that makes sense.

This is what I would do.

[SebastianCat]

My mom, step mom, and MIL gave us more expensive gifts at my baby shower for my 1st child.

 

Wait until you know the gender and baby's name before giving a handmade gift, even if that means you don't give it until several weeks after baby is born. My kids are 14 and 12, and I have saved some of those special handmade gifts from when they were babies. Since we didn't choose either of our children's names until after they were born, I know those handmade gifts couldn't have been given until after the baby was born each time, and the timing of the gift didn't matter at all.

[mmasc]

It's quite common where I'm from to see the stroller system (or possibly the bedding set) given at the shower from the mom/MIL. I say give the stroller because they need it and will be thrilled to get it!