DesertBlossom Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 (edited) Deleted. Thank you for the advice. I got the courage to call my friend's husband and he was glad I did. He had only gotten a bid so far, so he hadn't started work. When my friend asked a couple months ago I didn't initially give his name because there are literally HUNDREDS of landscaping companies in our large metropolitan area and I was banking on them hiring someone else without me having to name names. It's not a matter of not wanting to be honest about fellow church members. It's also our community. His parents know my parents well. I know his wife's family well. (And they all attend different congregations) I didn't feel it necessary to tell people about his poor work unless it was necessary. It's awkward enough as it is because we will run into him again. Edited February 12, 2017 by DesertBlossom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 (edited) If you were in the position as your friend, would you want to know the guy you hired had a history of shoddy work? How would you feel if someone knew that you had hired a less-than-stellar handyman and didn't say anything? I would call and say something as a heads up. ETA: I asked DH if he would want to know and his immediate response was "He!! yes." Edited February 12, 2017 by Scoutermom 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bagel270 Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 I would tell them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diane in CO Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 I would call your friend and let her know. If the situation was reversed wouldn't you want to know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertBlossom Posted February 12, 2017 Author Share Posted February 12, 2017 If you were in the position as your friend, would you want to know the guy you hired had a history or shoddy work? How would you feel if someone knew that you had hired a less-than-stellar handyman and didn't say anything? I would call and say something as a heads up. This is true. I would want to know. I have no idea how far along in the process they are... if they just got a quote or if he has already started work or what. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selkie Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Yes, I think you should let them know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Yes, I think you should tell them. That is sure to be awkward but they ought to understand the explanation that you didn't want to badmouth the person who did the work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 It is not gossiping to answer a question honestly and based on experience rather than hearsay. "Mr X did the work for us. No, I don't recommend him." Of course you should say something, if it's not too late. (If they haven't signed a contract/started work.). Be prepared for your friends to be annoyed that you didn't speak up earlier. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Of course you should tell your friend! You would want the know. I hate drama, too, so I can see myself in your shoes. But do tell your friend. You'd want her to tell you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 I'd tell them too. And it's not gossip. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UCF612 Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 It is not gossiping to answer a question honestly and based on experience rather than hearsay. "Mr X did the work for us. No, I don't recommend him." Of course you should say something, if it's not too late. (If they haven't signed a contract/started work.). Be prepared for your friends to be annoyed that you didn't speak up earlier. Agreed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BooksandBoys Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Absolutely. Tell her. I do not consider sharing objective information about the work of a professional to be in any way gossip, and I certainly hope I can trust my friend enough to tell me the truth about a professional that I am hiring. And, gently, this problem of not wanting to tell the truth about church members is rampant and very problematic. If you can't trust a member of your congregation to tell you the truth, who can you trust? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Why would you protect the poor worker instead of your friend? Tell! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertBlossom Posted February 12, 2017 Author Share Posted February 12, 2017 Update: I called friend's husband a few minutes ago and told him and he was glad I called. He has only gotten a bid from him so far, so it's not information "too late." Thankfully. I feel much better. 19 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Thank goodness you spoke with him in time! I'm sure it was awkward when you made the call because you hadn't said anything earlier, but you were a good friend to put aside your own discomfort and tell your friend's dh about the guy. :hurray: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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