spinoff...direct supervision for every activity

[caedmyn]

This is a spinoff of the "has anyone every stopped/started hs'i g" thread from a couple days ago. A couple people mentioned that their difficult child needs direct supervision at all times. I get this, but what do you do if you have FOUR children who need this? 10 yo and 7 yo have ADHD, 5 yo has ODD behaviors though he is improving somewhat, and the 3 YO who copied all of his brothers' negative behaviors. I don't focus or multi-task well. I can see this maybe being manageable with 1 kid, and I can see how doing it would make things go better and kids get in a lot less teouble, but I cannot for the life of me figure out how to do it with so many kids (and I've tried). Any suggestions?

[wendyroo]

I have a very similar set of kids.

 

7yo DS has autism, ADD and severe anxiety.  5yo DS has ODD behaviors possibly due to PTSD from living in the shadow of the 7yo's issues.  3yo DS is a 3 year old with some bad role models.  11 month old DD is an easy baby, but a baby nonetheless.

 

I mentioned constant supervision in that other thread, but I also mentioned everyone having a designated safe place to play.

 

Our basement play room is a safe spot for any of the boys...I can often let the 3 and 5 year old play together as long as I check in with them frequently, but the 7 year old can only be down there by himself.  Each of the kids also has a safe play area in their room that I can plop them if I need to deal with one of the other kids separately for a bit.  I am very careful to not keep anything fragile or valuable in the play room or bedrooms; when any of the kids are unsupervised I have to accept a certain level of destruction.  One of them will randomly tear up a book or kick a hole in the wall or throw blocks at the light fixture until it shatters, or pull out a dresser drawer and jump in it until it collapses, etc.  I consider those clean ups and repairs to be unavoidable if I ever let any children out of my sight and I try, really, really try, to not lose my cool when they make pointless, boneheaded choices that make my life infinitely more difficult.

 

So, our days are mostly conducted all together as a group, punctuated by periods of some or all of the kids playing in safe places while I tend to necessary tasks:

- In the morning we all come out of rooms together, tend to morning chores together, eat breakfast and listen to a read-aloud together (no one can leave the table until the meal is over), and brush teeth together.  

- Then the 3 and 5 year olds play (together on a good day, apart on a bad day) while the baby plays in her pack and play and I sit with the 7 year old while he does his skill subjects.  

- Then we all come back together for a snack and story before the baby goes down for her nap and the rest of us do the content subjects (with the 3 year old either "participating" or playing in his room with a guard on the door knob to keep him safely inside).  

- When the baby wakes up we all do an outing or activity together and then have lunch, clean up and work together on our afternoon chore.  

- Next the 3 year old works on a busy bag on the living room floor, the 5 year old does his math at the kitchen table and the 7 year old does his math at the dining room table.  The baby and I walk back and forth supervising and guiding them all.  

- As soon as math is done then all the kids go into their rooms for nap/rest time simply to save my sanity.

- After rest time we all go outside to wait for DH to come home.  Then he takes over child care while I finish up dinner.

- We eat, spend some family time, get ready for bed and all the kids are in their beds for the night by 7:30...the 7 year old can then read for half an hour more.

- DH and I go to bed around 9 so we can wake up at 5am and do it all over again ad infinitum.  

 

Wendy

 

[freesia]

What Wendy said. In the situation you've described above and in other posts, you need to have a schedule and keep everyone together.  I love the safe place idea, too.  I think you and the kids need to get used to  a whole new way of doing life.  It needs to be fairly scheduled with you, not them, dictating where they play.  At least until some of them grow up or learn more self control.  I can't remember from this summer--were you considering meds for some of them?  If not them, perhaps you are ADD.  Have you discussed this with your doctor.  I think to make your situation work at all, you need to figure out a way to stay focused or it's not going to work.

[freesia]

DP

Edited September 28, 2016 by freesia

[luuknam]

people mentioned that their difficult child needs direct supervision at all times. I get this, but what do you do if you have FOUR children who need this? 10 yo and 7 yo have ADHD,

 

I don't know your kids, but I'm having a hard time seeing 10yo and 7yo kids with only ADHD needing direct supervision *at all times*. Maybe to accomplish school work, or w/e, but all times? If they do truly need direct supervision at all times, I'd strongly suggest working with a therapist.

 

FWIW, my oldest had enough special needs (HFA) that I put him in PS from preK-2nd, and they gave him a 1-1 aide in K-2nd. But he doesn't need direct supervision at all times. Heck, I started leaving him home alone for 10 min to walk his little brother to daycare half a block away when he was 7yo.

 

ETA: To be clear, I'm not trying to be mean or anything - I'm just trying to say that either it's maybe not as bad as you're making it sound (sometimes people catastrophize, and it doesn't help anything), or that there might be more going on than ADHD with the eldest.

Edited September 28, 2016 by luuknam

[Ausmumof3]

This is a spinoff of the "has anyone every stopped/started hs'i g" thread from a couple days ago. A couple people mentioned that their difficult child needs direct supervision at all times. I get this, but what do you do if you have FOUR children who need this? 10 yo and 7 yo have ADHD, 5 yo has ODD behaviors though he is improving somewhat, and the 3 YO who copied all of his brothers' negative behaviors. I don't focus or multi-task well. I can see this maybe being manageable with 1 kid, and I can see how doing it would make things go better and kids get in a lot less teouble, but I cannot for the life of me figure out how to do it with so many kids (and I've tried). Any suggestions?

I remember that thread and I have to be honest if my kids required that level of supervision k don't think I could homeschool - I would need some respite so that I could stay sane. I think if it hasn't been your way of parenting it's very hard to get everyone into that kind of routine - much harder than if it's been like that from birth.

[caedmyn]

What Wendy said. In the situation you've described above and in other posts, you need to have a schedule and keep everyone together.  I love the safe place idea, too.  I think you and the kids need to get used to  a whole new way of doing life.  It needs to be fairly scheduled with you, not them, dictating where they play.  At least until some of them grow up or learn more self control.  I can't remember from this summer--were you considering meds for some of them?  If not them, perhaps you are ADD.  Have you discussed this with your doctor.  I think to make your situation work at all, you need to figure out a way to stay focused or it's not going to work.

 

Sometimes I think meds might be an option, but I don't see DH ever being open to that, even assuming he's ever willing to get a formal diagnosis for either of them at some point.  I think I would definitely qualify as ADD myself at this point, but it's a recent thing due to some health problems I developed after the 3 YO was born, and I don't know exactly what is causing my spaciness so I don't know that meds would help.  I'm breastfeeding also.  

 

I have tried and tried to stick to a schedule but I cannot seem to do it.  Keeping everyone together is problematic too because they spend so much time bickering, and if they're not bickering they're seeing how wild they can be and egging each other on in this.  I actually try to separate them as much as possible to deal with it, though I'm trying for "separate but within eyesight".  

 

I don't know your kids, but I'm having a hard time seeing 10yo and 7yo kids with only ADHD needing direct supervision *at all times*. Maybe to accomplish school work, or w/e, but all times? If they do truly need direct supervision at all times, I'd strongly suggest working with a therapist.

 

FWIW, my oldest had enough special needs (HFA) that I put him in PS from preK-2nd, and they gave him a 1-1 aide in K-2nd. But he doesn't need direct supervision at all times. Heck, I started leaving him home alone for 10 min to walk his little brother to daycare half a block away when he was 7yo.

 

ETA: To be clear, I'm not trying to be mean or anything - I'm just trying to say that either it's maybe not as bad as you're making it sound (sometimes people catastrophize, and it doesn't help anything), or that there might be more going on than ADHD with the eldest.

 

My 10 YO doesn't need supervised at all times, but ideally she should be supervised if she's supposed to be doing something in order for it to be done properly, because she's constantly getting distracted or forgetting to do part of a job.  She's not destructive like the others.  I wouldn't dare leave the 7 YO home alone like that.  Sometimes he's semi-trustworthy, like if he's taking a bath or listening to an audiobook in his room, but that's about it.  The rest of the time he's very frequently doing something he shouldn't.  

[caedmyn]

Wendyroo--how do you manage them when you go someplace with them?  

[happypamama]

It is hard. You train the ones you can and do your best with the others. That's all you can do.

 

My second child, sixth grade, needed a lot of assistance from me for a while, just to make sure he's doing things right, etc. However, he's also self motivated and so a couple of solid years of coaching him and gradually adding more independent work to his list has paid off in a big way. I give him clear directions and a list for each day, and he does the bulk of his work before I'm even up in the morning. (He sets an alarm and drags himself out of bed.). There are days when he doesn't need me directly for anything. It's really helpful to me. I have other children who need more direct supervision for one reason or another. I do what I can for them. If that means I work with them in the evening or on weekends when DH is here and my plate is less full, then that's what we do. I do use a lot of materials that are written directly to the student, like WWS, History Odyssey, and AOPS, which I think does help. I do a lot of checking in with my oldest, and I do schedule a daily time for direct face time with her. I often put on an audio book for my smallboys during that time. But I also spend more time with DD on weekends, going over work.

 

If I can keep everyone in the same room, great! Headphones are helpful for that, but my kids tend to be easily distracted, so sometimes they just doesn't work. You do what you can, and you try not to fret too much.

[happypamama]

Also, for going out and whatnot, it helps SO much to have the older two kids. Just another set of eyes and hands. Also, my 7yo and 3yo, while active and busy, are both very aware and with it sorts of kids. They're not the ones I worry about wandering off. It also helps that the 7, 5, and 3yo are the best little buddies and are very rarely more than about two feet from each other's sides. But truly, my 14yo, and to an extent my 11yo, is my secret weapon. I could not do this stuff without her. She was born with the "mom takes charge" gene. And my 11yo is a very willing helper. So the 14yo is buckling smallboys into their seats, while the 11yo is helping me unload the grocery cart. Big kids make huge differences.

[wendyroo]

Wendyroo--how do you manage them when you go someplace with them?  

 

Very well established routines...I mean every phase of every trip, every transition, every situation is just insanely orchestrated.  There is a specific order the kids get in and out of the car to keep everyone safe and reduce fighting.  When we go grocery shopping everyone knows ahead of time where they will be riding or walking.  If we have to wait for a couple minutes in a line I keep the kids engaged at all times so they are always being reminded of what they should be doing (telling collaborative stories, doing silly mental math problems, timing how long they can stand on one foot, playing eye spy, etc) instead of me waiting until they start to fall apart and then telling them all the things they shouldn't be doing.

 

We always review ahead of time expected behaviors and consequences of misbehavior.  Again, I bring all expected behaviors down to a concrete level - instead of telling them to not get in people's way, I tell them that they need to walk with their hand on the cart handle.  If necessary I put my hand on top of theirs.

 

Lastly, I always have an exit strategy planned if all h*ll breaks loose, BUT I don't jump up and leave at the first sign of inappropriate behavior.  Consistently leaving an outing when they start to misbehave might be an effective consequence for a neurotypical child, but difficult children probably won't learn anything from leaving and will be just as likely to act inappropriately the next time you are out and about...and that can quickly lead to living like hermits which isn't good for anyone's well being.  If the setting is causing or exacerbating a child's meltdown then we leave, otherwise I just put on a stoic face and keep on keeping on.  I've carried a baby through the zoo because I had to strap the tantrumming 6 year old in the stroller.  I've played at the park with 3 kids while one kicks and screams and pounds the ground nearby...and I keep my chin high and refuse to let the tutting onlookers make me feel like a bad mom as I do my absolute best to care for my whole family.

 

Wendy

[freesia]

Sometimes I think meds might be an option, but I don't see DH ever being open to that, even assuming he's ever willing to get a formal diagnosis for either of them at some point.  I think I would definitely qualify as ADD myself at this point, but it's a recent thing due to some health problems I developed after the 3 YO was born, and I don't know exactly what is causing my spaciness so I don't know that meds would help.  I'm breastfeeding also.  

 

I have tried and tried to stick to a schedule but I cannot seem to do it.  Keeping everyone together is problematic too because they spend so much time bickering, and if they're not bickering they're seeing how wild they can be and egging each other on in this.  I actually try to separate them as much as possible to deal with it, though I'm trying for "separate but within eyesight".  

 

 

I am not sure why he gets final say on this, particularly as things are not going well in your house.  In my house, with what you describe, this would be worth getting some marital counseling about.  The first step is talking to their pediatrician/family physician and possibly a referral for a developmental pediatrician. At the least, someone who can help you with some strategies that would help your particular children.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I am not sure why he gets final say on this, particularly as things are not going well in your house.  In my house, with what you describe, this would be worth getting some marital counseling about.  The first step is talking to their pediatrician/family physician and possibly a referral for a developmental pediatrician. At the least, someone who can help you with some strategies that would help your particular children.

 

Yes.

 

This has been kindly suggested on other threads...you have rights and options. You do not have to go through life feeling trapped, helpless, and alone in your own house with children you don't feel you can manage and NO rest for yourself at all. (And no rest coming, b/c of another precious child on the way.)

 

You have the right not to homeschool. You can insist that your children be enrolled in school, for respite for yourself and (hopefully) for education and built-in community -- with other responsible adults who will have behavior expectations -- for them. Also, you might get recommendations for evaluations from their teachers, so you have some backup in seeking help.

 

And you don't need your husband's permission to mention your concerns to your children's doctor.

 

You do not have to be an island. You don't. You're a person, too.

[Storygirl]

I had to keep my four children together at almost all times when they were younger. When my oldest was 7, I had a 5 year old (the one that most needed constant vigilance) and two four year olds. At those ages, we were still very regimented with our schedule. As they got older, I was able to leave them unsupervised for some time.

 

I would help them get dressed as needed, then we would have breakfast together. I would often set out the breakfast dishes, etc. the night before, so it would be ready. We would eat together, and they would bring their plates to me at the sink, as I loaded the dishwasher. Then we would go down to our basement. The play area was adjacent to our school area, so even when I was working on academics with one or more of them, I could supervise those who were playing.

 

Yes, we had a lot of interruptions. Yes, it was very taxing. But we just did it.

 

At lunch I would put a 30 minute show on the tv for them. During that time, for 15 minutes I would get their lunch on their plates, and for 15 minutes I would eat my own lunch. Then I would read to them while they ate. After lunch, we would go back down to the basement again for play/school. Or when they were younger, we would have nap time all at the same time.

 

At suppertime, I would have them watch another 30 minute show while I prepared the meal. DH would arrive home to eat with us. By the time supper was over, it was around 7 pm, and DH would help me with baths and bedtime. They were always in bed by 8 at those ages.

 

There were times when I put supper on the table but left the house when DH got home, because I just had to have a break. Except for nap time, I was in supervision mode all day long.

 

If they played outside, I went outside with them. I would sit and do lesson planning while they played. I think my youngest were 6 or 7 before I would let them go outside without me, because if I left them unsupervised, they would get into spats. Or they would get into things that they should not. One of my kids was highly impulsive and would regularly instigate trouble. So I didn't leave them alone. We were always either in the same room together, or they would be in a room nearby, where I could hear or see what was happening.

 

It was exhausting. In later years, when I was homeschooling all of them, we were also together most of the time or in the same vicinity.

[Innisfree]

I am not sure why he gets final say on this, particularly as things are not going well in your house. In my house, with what you describe, this would be worth getting some marital counseling about. The first step is talking to their pediatrician/family physician and possibly a referral for a developmental pediatrician. At the least, someone who can help you with some strategies that would help your particular children.

 

Agree.

 

This is important. You know there are issues. You need support. It is almost certainly available near you. And, you need to know just what issues you're dealing with. Once you have those answers, the path starts to become clearer.

 

What, exactly, is your dh's objection to evaluations?

 

ETA: Hugs, too; please don't read what I wrote above as being said harshly. A lot of us have had to overcome resistance to evaluations, either our own resistance or a husband's. It can be hard to accept the need. But this is how life starts to change and get better.

 

If your dh has specific concerns about evaluations or a diagnosis, maybe we can help you figure out how to address them.

 

Best wishes.

Edited October 1, 2016 by Innisfree

[caedmyn]

Very well established routines...I mean every phase of every trip, every transition, every situation is just insanely orchestrated.  There is a specific order the kids get in and out of the car to keep everyone safe and reduce fighting.  When we go grocery shopping everyone knows ahead of time where they will be riding or walking.  If we have to wait for a couple minutes in a line I keep the kids engaged at all times so they are always being reminded of what they should be doing (telling collaborative stories, doing silly mental math problems, timing how long they can stand on one foot, playing eye spy, etc) instead of me waiting until they start to fall apart and then telling them all the things they shouldn't be doing.

 

We always review ahead of time expected behaviors and consequences of misbehavior.  Again, I bring all expected behaviors down to a concrete level - instead of telling them to not get in people's way, I tell them that they need to walk with their hand on the cart handle.  If necessary I put my hand on top of theirs.

 

Lastly, I always have an exit strategy planned if all h*ll breaks loose, BUT I don't jump up and leave at the first sign of inappropriate behavior.  Consistently leaving an outing when they start to misbehave might be an effective consequence for a neurotypical child, but difficult children probably won't learn anything from leaving and will be just as likely to act inappropriately the next time you are out and about...and that can quickly lead to living like hermits which isn't good for anyone's well being.  If the setting is causing or exacerbating a child's meltdown then we leave, otherwise I just put on a stoic face and keep on keeping on.  I've carried a baby through the zoo because I had to strap the tantrumming 6 year old in the stroller.  I've played at the park with 3 kids while one kicks and screams and pounds the ground nearby...and I keep my chin high and refuse to let the tutting onlookers make me feel like a bad mom as I do my absolute best to care for my whole family.

 

Wendy

 

We've recently started having them get in and out of the van in a specific order.

 

My biggest problem with trying to do any sort of shopping with them is that the boys all try to aggravate one another, or they're being super silly and wild...the same things that tend to happen all day long unless they're separate from one another.  And two of them are super loud and never shut up and I have a hard time with noise, especially when I'm trying to do something else, like get whatever I need in the store.  Shopping with them is very stressful.  I don't ever seem to be able to stay ahead of them, although it would certainly help if I could.  At this point I try not to run errands with them if at all possible.  

[Melissa in Australia]

I think of you often

 

Hugs

 

I am lucky in that I have only 2 that need close supervision and more than one person who can do the supervising. Constant supervision is mentally fatiguing.

Edited October 3, 2016 by Melissa in Australia

[luuknam]

Sometimes I think meds might be an option, but I don't see DH ever being open to that, even assuming he's ever willing to get a formal diagnosis for either of them at some point.  I think I would definitely qualify as ADD myself at this point, but it's a recent thing due to some health problems I developed after the 3 YO was born, and I don't know exactly what is causing my spaciness so I don't know that meds would help.  I'm breastfeeding also.  

 

My 10 YO doesn't need supervised at all times, but ideally she should be supervised if she's supposed to be doing something in order for it to be done properly, because she's constantly getting distracted or forgetting to do part of a job.  She's not destructive like the others.  I wouldn't dare leave the 7 YO home alone like that.  Sometimes he's semi-trustworthy, like if he's taking a bath or listening to an audiobook in his room, but that's about it.  The rest of the time he's very frequently doing something he shouldn't.  

 

I'm glad to hear that your 10yo doesn't need direct supervision at all times. And I can see not leaving an ADHD 7yo home alone for 10 min. So, you do have this line of progress - the 10yo is more independent than the 7yo, who'll almost certainly be more independent in a few years as well.

 

As for yourself, I'd suggest you go to a doctor and get tested for nutritional deficiencies and thyroid issues. Temporary thyroid issues can occur for the 18 months or so following birth, at which point it sounds like you were pregnant with the next one, which can cause its own brain fog, and then now you're still in the first 18 months with that one, iiuc.

[zoobie]

Sometimes I think meds might be an option, but I don't see DH ever being open to that, even assuming he's ever willing to get a formal diagnosis for either of them at some point. I think I would definitely qualify as ADD myself at this point, but it's a recent thing due to some health problems I developed after the 3 YO was born, and I don't know exactly what is causing my spaciness so I don't know that meds would help. I'm breastfeeding also.

 

I have tried and tried to stick to a schedule but I cannot seem to do it. Keeping everyone together is problematic too because they spend so much time bickering, and if they're not bickering they're seeing how wild they can be and egging each other on in this. I actually try to separate them as much as possible to deal with it, though I'm trying for "separate but within eyesight".

 

 

My 10 YO doesn't need supervised at all times, but ideally she should be supervised if she's supposed to be doing something in order for it to be done properly, because she's constantly getting distracted or forgetting to do part of a job. She's not destructive like the others. I wouldn't dare leave the 7 YO home alone like that. Sometimes he's semi-trustworthy, like if he's taking a bath or listening to an audiobook in his room, but that's about it. The rest of the time he's very frequently doing something he shouldn't.

Is DH willing to be the primary caregiver and assume responsibility for their schooling? Ignoring this won't make it go away. Y'all need to figure out what's happening so you can address it.

[redsquirrel]

To the OP, how do you know that your two eldest children are dealing with ADHD an the third is displaying ODD and that the three year old is 'only' copying the behaviour he sees?

 

You are saying at this time you are not permitted by your husband to get the children a formal diagnosis...so at this point you are making the diagnosis yourself? Or have you spoken to some professionals recently?  Getting the correct diagnosis can make a world of difference.  For example, knowing her child was ADHD and autistic, and not only ADHD, made a huge difference in how her child was helped by professionals.  And when she found out he had almost no working short term memory SO many other things made perfect sense. It explained a lot of his most frustrating behaviors. She was able to work with professionals to come up with a much more appropriate way to minimize his outbursts.

[redsquirrel]

And again to the OP, you say that you yourself might be ADD.  Are you permitted to look into getting a diagnosis and help for yourself?  It might make all of this much easier to cope with, if you did.

 

I have two friends who were diagnosed with ADD as adults. One did it years ago and she is pretty sure she would have lost her job years ago if she wasn't aware of her issues and medication.  She takes it very seriously, especially when she had children. She has... she has difficulty shifting focus?  She can lose herself reading a book or browsing the web and says her kids would have spent all day in wet diapers and gone hungry if she didn't have medication.  It's not like medication makes it all go away, she has worked with a therapist to learn other coping strategies, but it's the meds that put her over the tipping point into functionality.

 

Another was more recent and it has been just amazing the changes I have seen. It's a man and I know both him and his ex-partner.  They split and got divorced a while ago. The changes have been so dramatic, now that he is on meds for his ADD that she has said that it probably would have saved their marriage. They have both moved on..she got married last month to a wonderful man, and he is engaged to a lovely woman....They had a very friendly divorce, but still... that must be sad for both of them. 

 

So, if your husband won't permit your kids to get an evaluation and diagnosis, can he also dictate your medical care?  Because it might help the whole family a great deal.

 

[luuknam]

And again to the OP, you say that you yourself might be ADD. 

 

She says that her ADHD-like symptoms started after her 3yo was born. So, she needs to get to the root cause of the issues - if it were ADHD, she should've had issues since childhood. You don't want to medicate for ADHD when the root cause is a deficiency in vitamin B(some number) or D, or a thyroid imbalance, or one of the zillion other things that can cause ADHD-like symptoms but aren't ADHD.

 

Btw, I do get that some people with ADHD can sort of hold it together until they have to juggle too many balls, but I really think she should look for other possible causes and only look at ADHD after all other options have been eliminated.

Edited October 3, 2016 by luuknam

[redsquirrel]

She says that her ADHD-like symptoms started after her 3yo was born. So, she needs to get to the root cause of the issues - if it were ADHD, she should've had issues since childhood. You don't want to medicate for ADHD when the root cause is a deficiency in vitamin B(some number) or D, or a thyroid imbalance, or one of the zillion other things that can cause ADHD-like symptoms but aren't ADHD.

 

Btw, I do get that some people with ADHD can sort of hold it together until they have to juggle too many balls, but I really think she should look for other possible causes and only look at ADHD after all other options have been eliminated.

 

I totally agree. I think a medical doctor could really be helpful here. I hope her husband allows her to get the medical help and if necessary medication, she might need.

[idnib]

I would be interested in reading the original thread but I'm not seeing it. Would someone mind linking to it? TIA.

[luuknam]

I totally agree. I think a medical doctor could really be helpful here. I hope her husband allows her to get the medical help and if necessary medication, she might need.

 

I think she should be able to make her own health care decisions, rather than ask her husband, but anyway, she could try telling her husband she needs to see the doctor for "female issues" or something along those lines. With a bit of luck he won't inquire further, and it wouldn't be lying, since if it started after the birth of her 3yo it could very well be female hormonal/thyroid/nutritional etc issues that she wouldn't have if she were male.

 

I would be interested in reading the original thread but I'm not seeing it. Would someone mind linking to it? TIA.

 

I think this one (I haven't read much of the thread though):

 

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/625053-has-anyone-ever-stoppedstarted-homeschooling-a-difficult-child/

[caedmyn]

I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and adrenal fatigue after my 3 yo was born and am taking medications for both. My brain still doesn't work like it used to though. Better than before I started the meds, but not well.

[mom2samlibby]

I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and adrenal fatigue after my 3 yo was born and am taking medications for both. My brain still doesn't work like it used to though. Better than before I started the meds, but not well.

 

Vitamin B12 got rid of my brain fog and memory issues.  I'd have the doctor check your Vitamin B12, D, iron, and folate levels.  

[EMS83]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

It's a big guessing game.  Narrow your focus (what three things are important to you?), give yourself and your kids some grace, and do the best you can.  

 

I tend to get distracted and also inch my standards up to where they're unrealistic for me, my kids, and the life we lead.  Bad combination.  I agree that figuring out if simple supplements would help is a great idea.  But also, my mommy fog didn't go away until my youngest was 5.  And I still have trouble sometimes, depending on how well I'm sleeping.  That has a huge effect on me.  

 

For supervision, I do tend to keep a close eye/ear on them (relatively easy with only 800ish sq. ft. they even have free access to), and have used every possible response to wildness and bickering.  I try to make it practical.  Did they sleep badly?  They need to go spend some time alone on their bed.  Have we been skimping on outdoor time?  They need to be in the yard until I say otherwise.  Too much free time or sweets?  Cut back on the offender and replace with a better alternative.  If they refuse to behave while I cook, they can jolly well stand in the kitchen doorway and watch me until I'm done.  When they were all 5 1/2 and under, I admit to LOTS of PBS Kids.  Lots.   we don't have TV now, but they have games and movies I allow them occasionally.  Also, daily 2 hour rest time.  That's the only time I'm even remotely alone and inaccessible.