Son does not want to go to college, ASD, motivation issues

[Guest]

I'll preface by saying that I'm the opposite in that nothing would make me happier than to have my children and their spouses and children live with me forever. However they rebel by being fiercely independent.

 

(snip)

 

I guess there are just no easy answers in parenting, are there?

 

I liked your post a lot.  I just wanted to comment that since my son has been moving toward the path to launching and moving out, I am happier that he is here.  It's when they are perpetually dependent that they really aren't that much fun to have around.

 

And nothing more true than your line has ever been said.  :0)

[Denisemomof4]

Oh my gosh he is SO YOUNG!!!!! be supportive of him, listen to him, and in the process, let him know that all of your support ends when school is over. Let that sink in awhile then let him know that he can't live at home forever. He needs to find a way to support himself.

 

FWIW, I have two adult sons. Oldest started college once he graduated. He changed his majorna couple of times (COMMON!) and finally settled on a career path and nearly graduated before he dropped out for an excellent job. I was HUGELY disappointed and hope he finishes his degree, but I learned LONG ago not to worry about his adult decisions. The CEO of his company is hugely impressed with him. Bhe is a computer engineer.

 

Younger son never went to coll3ge.

 

Both make the same salary.

 

College isn't for everyone. Most importantly, parents really can't push their desires on their adult kids.

[Carrie12345]

Awesome!

My DS is heavily involved in martial arts, and every single martial arts instructor we know has a full time day job. 

 

Low COL here does not help, since that usually means incomes are low, too, and people simply can't pay a lot for classes. But his sensei in the big city also can't live on his dojo.

 

Being REALLY good at what you do goes a long way, too.

 

Ours wouldn't be able to have a second job, since he's often there, working on his business for 12 hour days.  He requires 12 month contracts.  His prices are high, but his membership benefits are great.  He offers additional programs (camps and aftercare) for members and non-members. He's loyal to the community, and the community is loyal to him.

 

That said, he does have a background in business.

[Jean in Newcastle]

It's best not to meet rigidity with rigidity. 

[Guest]

It's best not to meet rigidity with rigidity.

Truth! I sometimes think that is the hardest thing when trying to work with someone on the spectrum, especially as an outsider and not their parent. The rigid thinking, even in the super bright and capable kids, is hard to wrap ones' brain around and what works for the average kiddo in the class can sometimes have the opposite effect on a student with autism or aspergers.

 

Meeting them where they are at and working with what they *can* give you flexibly and positively, while still making little pushes for growth, has been such a learning curve for me personally. But I know I am a better and more sympathetic teacher for the experience.

[mommytobees]

I don't have time today to read all the responses....so if I'm repeating, please forgive him.

 

My ds18 is ASD (Aspie) too. I've known for years, since about 14, that he was going to need a reality check. A huge one.

 

I started talking to him about expectations and boundaries. Mine. His. Later, after my divorce, his father's and so on.

 

My expectations: after graduation/around 18 you will:

~ Work full-time: your work can be school OR a job

~ Pay rent: _I_ will cover your "rent" if you go to school full-time and get decent grades. Why? Because _I_ find value in your education (why we HS'ed in the first place---he is currently in online school). _I_ am allowed to choose where my money goes, just like you are. If you school part time, then you will work the other part time AND pay rent to that percentage. (50/50 school/work = 50% rent)

~~Rent will be 25% of your income. 

~ Within 2 paychecks, you will pay ALL of your bills. Cell, insurance, gas, whatever.

~ 

 

I've reminded him over and over what the rules will be.

 

Over the past year or so, he has come to mental terms with the abstract. Over the past 6 months, he has been trying to find a job, with no luck. SO, what does that mean for his future.... IF, after he graduates, he can't find a job, he is required to volunteer at the animal shelter for his employment.

 

Let me also note that there is a huge change for my son. He was dx'ed with multiple sclerosis last year. So, he cannot do any job outside about 9 months of the year (we live in the Phoenix area). (Heat will cause a pseudo-relapse of MS.)

 

My expectations have had to change, however, I haven't told my son that. I've told my son that it is even more important that he choose wisely. He has to go to college. He has to have health insurance.

 

HTH,
Kris

 

 

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

Truth! I sometimes think that is the hardest thing when trying to work with someone on the spectrum, especially as an outsider and not their parent. The rigid thinking, even in the super bright and capable kids, is hard to wrap ones' brain around and what works for the average kiddo in the class can sometimes have the opposite effect on a student with autism or aspergers.

 

Meeting them where they are at and working with what they *can* give you flexibly and positively, while still making little pushes for growth, has been such a learning curve for me personally. But I know I am a better and more sympathetic teacher for the experience.

 

Exactly.  It is a complicated dance.  If you do too little you can handicap them by not allowing them to do those things they can do.  If you push too much you can paralyze them by making them just lock down with anxiety and/or sensory overload.  At least that is my personal experience with my son.

 

My ds is working full-time now before going to college.  We actually did two years of his senior year of high school so that he could learn the "life skill" of having a part-time (20 hour) job.  I felt that for an Aspie (or at least my particular Aspie) that it was equally important for him to learn the social complexities of a job.  Now when I see the seminars the disability office has on "how to function in a job setting", I know that ds has a leg-up on his ASD peers because he's btdt.  And I feel like it will benefit him in his college classes because it has given him some real life experience to apply to those classes. 

 

Ds has grown a lot in the last few years.  But he's still an Aspie.  He still processes the world as an Aspie.  He has learned to compensate in some ways for that and he's learned that his current employer (in electronics/ IT) values his particular way of processing things as well. 

 

Edited to say that it really hurts my heart when I hear people using punitive type language as if we can somehow bully our kids out of being ASD.  Again - I don't think it is helpful to hold them back and wrap them in cotton wool but it isn't like they can help having ASD either. 

Edited September 6, 2016 by Jean in Newcastle

[regentrude]

Being REALLY good at what you do goes a long way, too.

 

Ours wouldn't be able to have a second job, since he's often there, working on his business for 12 hour days.  He requires 12 month contracts.  His prices are high, but his membership benefits are great.  He offers additional programs (camps and aftercare) for members and non-members. He's loyal to the community, and the community is loyal to him.

That said, he does have a background in business.

 

Wonderful.

Our town cannot support a dojo. Small town, low income, low prices, not enough demand. The judo instructor who taught through the community fitness center was not paid at all. The TKD instructor at the private gym, not sure if he gets any of the minimal fee the club charges for lessons. The judo instructor opened her own dojo in another town; she works full time for the military and is just glad not to be in debt for the place. It'snot paying her a salary.

 

DS commutes to the city, 100 miles away, several times a week. Metropolitan area has 2.8 million, dojo is the best judo club  there, but the owner of the dojo has to work full time in an unrelated job.

The MMA gym where DS trained for a while is owned by a guy who is a professional fighter, but I don't have the impression it is doing all that well. Not sure how much of his income comes from the gym. 

Edited September 6, 2016 by regentrude

[MomatHWTK]

 

 

Edited to say that it really hurts my heart when I hear people using punitive type language as if we can somehow bully our kids out of being ASD.  Again - I don't think it is helpful to hold them back and wrap them in cotton wool but it isn't like they can help having ASD either. 

:iagree:

[Night Elf]

Shouldn't he, by now, be considering what he might want to do in the future? It seems like everyone around me with kids his age are talking about how their child is interested in this or that or this future or that. But he just sits here and wants to do his extracurricular for the rest of his life.

 

I haven't yet read the whole thread but fully intend to as I can relate to this topic. When my Aspie son was that age, he had no idea of what he wanted to do in the future. The future was so far in front of him that he couldn't even relate or grasp he needed to have an end goal for after high school. Throughout high school, DH and I talked to him about college. We led him to believe that it was the best option for him because without a degree, he wouldn't be able to make enough money to support himself. I used his older sister as an example. She's struggling and actually has a pretty good paying job. Anyway, he finally did graduate high school a year behind peers, and did indeed begin college. He took two classes each semester for the first year. He was adamant about going only part time. The transition into school was really rough. It took him a few weeks to really settle down into his classes and homework schedule. We didn't ask him to work because he didn't feel he could do both.

 

Then it was summer break. All summer he talked about learning how to develop video games. He began to research the process and game engines.

 

Then it was time to go back to school. The first two days of classes were a disaster. He had two meltdowns. He was so in over his head and found out the expectations in the classes and absolutely freaked out. He begged us to let him quit. He said he would rather work a low paying job an pursue his dream of becoming a video game developer and open his own game studio. Now, he is not artistic. He can learn the programming part but he'll need people to help him with many of the game development aspects like graphics for one. But he's determined to do it without a college degree.

 

So we let him quit. Now that things have settled down, he's a new person. His spirit is light and happy even more so than it was in summer when he was just off of school. He had Fall semester hanging over his head and he dreaded the first day of classes. Of course I'm worried about his future. I honestly think his dreams are pie in the sky and he's not going to make it without a degree. He has no skills. Even after two years of practicing with a typing program he still types with a few fingers rather than the correct why of holding his hands. He's never looked forward to working before, but now he says he does want a job. He wants to make his own money. He wants to do anything that's not going to school. So we're going to have him apply at a grocery store that pays minimum wage. It's a start. He has to start gaining experience somewhere. I'm also worried about him even finding a job at his age with no work experience. Also, he agreed to go into counseling. I want him to talk to a third party and make a life plan for at least the next year or two. His appointment this week is going to be job interview skills training. Then as soon as that happens, he's going to begin the application process.

 

We see things a little differently than you do. We fully expect our son to live with us for years. He has no interest in moving out and being on his own. I figure at some point in his future he'll realize that it's normal to live away from your parents. Until then he'll always have a home with us. But he understands we cannot fully support him. If we were extremely wealthy, we would set him up. We're not and DH will retire in 10 years. We're paying for our youngest in college for the next 4 or 5 years so we can't save more money than what DH is already contributing to his 401K. Our ds will have to work and contribute to the household. He has agreed to do this in order for him to be able to pursue his dreams.

 

So now I'm going to read this whole thread. Who knows? My ds may decide to go back to school after realizing what a low paying job is, but he can't really make choices without understanding the different options. He's a late bloomer himself. I think we pushed him into college too soon. We had the best of intentions. It just didn't work out.

[TechWife]

:grouphug:  For Beth! 

[Bluegoat]

I haven't yet read the whole thread but fully intend to as I can relate to this topic. When my Aspie son was that age, he had no idea of what he wanted to do in the future. The future was so far in front of him that he couldn't even relate or grasp he needed to have an end goal for after high school. Throughout high school, DH and I talked to him about college. We led him to believe that it was the best option for him because without a degree, he wouldn't be able to make enough money to support himself. I used his older sister as an example. She's struggling and actually has a pretty good paying job. Anyway, he finally did graduate high school a year behind peers, and did indeed begin college. He took two classes each semester for the first year. He was adamant about going only part time. The transition into school was really rough. It took him a few weeks to really settle down into his classes and homework schedule. We didn't ask him to work because he didn't feel he could do both.

 

Then it was summer break. All summer he talked about learning how to develop video games. He began to research the process and game engines.

 

Then it was time to go back to school. The first two days of classes were a disaster. He had two meltdowns. He was so in over his head and found out the expectations in the classes and absolutely freaked out. He begged us to let him quit. He said he would rather work a low paying job an pursue his dream of becoming a video game developer and open his own game studio. Now, he is not artistic. He can learn the programming part but he'll need people to help him with many of the game development aspects like graphics for one. But he's determined to do it without a college degree.

 

So we let him quit. Now that things have settled down, he's a new person. His spirit is light and happy even more so than it was in summer when he was just off of school. He had Fall semester hanging over his head and he dreaded the first day of classes. Of course I'm worried about his future. I honestly think his dreams are pie in the sky and he's not going to make it without a degree. He has no skills. Even after two years of practicing with a typing program he still types with a few fingers rather than the correct why of holding his hands. He's never looked forward to working before, but now he says he does want a job. He wants to make his own money. He wants to do anything that's not going to school. So we're going to have him apply at a grocery store that pays minimum wage. It's a start. He has to start gaining experience somewhere. I'm also worried about him even finding a job at his age with no work experience. Also, he agreed to go into counseling. I want him to talk to a third party and make a life plan for at least the next year or two. His appointment this week is going to be job interview skills training. Then as soon as that happens, he's going to begin the application process.

 

We see things a little differently than you do. We fully expect our son to live with us for years. He has no interest in moving out and being on his own. I figure at some point in his future he'll realize that it's normal to live away from your parents. Until then he'll always have a home with us. But he understands we cannot fully support him. If we were extremely wealthy, we would set him up. We're not and DH will retire in 10 years. We're paying for our youngest in college for the next 4 or 5 years so we can't save more money than what DH is already contributing to his 401K. Our ds will have to work and contribute to the household. He has agreed to do this in order for him to be able to pursue his dreams.

 

So now I'm going to read this whole thread. Who knows? My ds may decide to go back to school after realizing what a low paying job is, but he can't really make choices without understanding the different options. He's a late bloomer himself. I think we pushed him into college too soon. We had the best of intentions. It just didn't work out.

 

You know, from what I know about programming and game development, your son's idea, in the general sense, might be a real way forward.  Computers is one area where ability often means more than any kind of degree, and there also seem to be a number of options to learn about game design.  And there are people who mainly work on the coding while others are doing the creative aspects.

 

My sister is in computers, and could never really hack school - she's neurotypical but she has a very hard time with classroom type learning.  So - no degree or even diploma type qualification, and she's done very, very well in computer related career fields, even though she works in government where degrees are more common than in some computer careers.

[mommytobees]

I haven't yet read the whole thread but fully intend to as I can relate to this topic. When my Aspie son was that age, he had no idea of what he wanted to do in the future. The future was so far in front of him that he couldn't even relate or grasp he needed to have an end goal for after high school. Throughout high school, DH and I talked to him about college. We led him to believe that it was the best option for him because without a degree, he wouldn't be able to make enough money to support himself. I used his older sister as an example. She's struggling and actually has a pretty good paying job. Anyway, he finally did graduate high school a year behind peers, and did indeed begin college. He took two classes each semester for the first year. He was adamant about going only part time. The transition into school was really rough. It took him a few weeks to really settle down into his classes and homework schedule. We didn't ask him to work because he didn't feel he could do both.

 

...

 

So now I'm going to read this whole thread. Who knows? My ds may decide to go back to school after realizing what a low paying job is, but he can't really make choices without understanding the different options. He's a late bloomer himself. I think we pushed him into college too soon. We had the best of intentions. It just didn't work out.

 

Nightelf, may I make a suggestion?

 

I would ask your son to take 1 online class. 

 

Why? What would your argument be? 

 

a) The class is online. It changes the stress level. Yes, there IS a stress level.

 

b) I love dreams. Even dreams that fail are GOOD THINGS!! Allow him the opportunity to learn all of the skills, one small piece at a time.

 

Now, I don't have a lot of time...I have 2 essays due tomorrow (and I haven't started either yet--- :glare:  :leaving: )... but, http://www.snhu.edu/online-degrees/bachelors/bs-in-game-programming-and-development SNHU is a decent university and has an online program. Yes, this is an expensive alternative, but the point is to get his big toe in the water...online. Look at your local school's online catalogue. You might have a course to do there.

 

Sometimes, small successes create motivation to do something you otherwise would never try.

 

Kris

[gardenmom5]

You know, from what I know about programming and game development, your son's idea, in the general sense, might be a real way forward.  Computers is one area where ability often means more than any kind of degree, and there also seem to be a number of options to learn about game design.  And there are people who mainly work on the coding while others are doing the creative aspects.

 

My sister is in computers, and could never really hack school - she's neurotypical but she has a very hard time with classroom type learning.  So - no degree or even diploma type qualification, and she's done very, very well in computer related career fields, even though she works in government where degrees are more common than in some computer careers.

 

I have a nephew who dropped out of high school.  he makes more than his brother with two MA degrees.

[Night Elf]

I would ask your son to take 1 online class.

 

Oh he's attempted online classes. They were similar to his online high school classes but with a much higher work load. He gave it a month and just couldn't keep up. He did much better with classes on campus.

[Bluegoat]

I have a nephew who dropped out of high school.  he makes more than his brother with two MA degrees.

 

Yeah.  My sister is actually about to get her first degree - an masters of health leadership.  It's very project based though, and she still struggled a bit with the more traditional academic component.  But she thought it would be worth it.

 

However, even now without it, she is making as an employee of the province something like twice what my dh does, who is a civil service scientist in the federal government.

[Dmmetler]

My DD is much younger, but what has worked best is finding adults who actually do what she thinks she wants to do and letting her be an unpaid assistant/intern. So far, she's realized that breeding animals responsibly generally requires a day job and often doesn't break even (at least for snakes and show cats/dogs), running a pet store is a lot more business than animal contact, and that herpetologists spend more time teaching biology than in the field. She's found out that being a non-game field agent is a law enforcement profession.

 

I don't know what she'll pick, but at least she seems to be going in with her eyes open.

 

So, can he be an unpaid assistant at the dojo? Like, spend whole days there or even an entire summer? See the business side, have to help teach the Tiny Tigers classes that help pay the bills and keep the lights on for the more serious students? Clean mats and sweep floors and clean bathrooms that have been used by a class of 10 yr old boys? 

 

He may still want to plan on opening a dojo, but at least then he'll hopefully go in with his eyes open.

 

 

[Bluegoat]

I was thinking last night about whether people in my city make a living teaching martial arts.  There are a few that are dojo owners, often the building as well as the school.  It seems to be really business oriented, not that people need university for that but bookkepping and such is important.

 

And there are people for whom it is more of a serious hobby, teaching at community centers and such.

 

And then some in the middle - they make a living doing something fairly closely related and teach maybe on the side.  As fitness coaches, gym teachers, selling supplements, and so on.

 

But what struck me is that while I think a lot of people feel romantic about a passion becoming a job, I am not sure that the guys making a living out of it are more often living the dream around the hobby.  Not only are they having to do business stuff, they seem to have to concentrate much more on offering what people want - most of them seem to be teaching in a very competition oriented way, for example.  Now, maybe that is what they want, but it is different than the sorts of classes the others teach which seem to concentrate more on the art form, or even fitness.

 

It reminds me a bit of musicians I know - some that make a living off of it are quite happy, but I also know quite a few that become a little cynical about aspects of it, even burned out, or decide after years they need to change focus.  The people I know who are more like serious amateurs overwhelmingly still seem to love what they do, even while recognizing what happens in the business side.

 

 

[JustEm]

 

But what struck me is that while I think a lot of people feel romantic about a passion becoming a job, I am not sure that the guys making a living out of it are more often living the dream around the hobby. Not only are they having to do business stuff, they seem to have to concentrate much more on offering what people want - most of them seem to be teaching in a very competition oriented way, for example. Now, maybe that is what they want, but it is different than the sorts of classes the others teach which seem to concentrate more on the art form, or even fitness.

Hmm, this is an interesting observation because it can be quite true. For my dh, who is the martial artist making a living off of his passion, he got stuck in this rut. It was specifically when the recession hit and the people who were still willing to pay for martial arts had very clear expectations about it. They were not unreasonable expectations but not what dh wanted for the school. but he had to do what brought money in because he was supporting a family. He stuck through 2 awful and unfulfilling years and now the school is much better because of it. The school now offers a variety of fitness, art form, martial arts tricking, and competition but it has the employer base so dh doesn't have to work the classes he doesn't personally have a passion for, unless of course someone calls out.

 

But there are many schools in the area where the person who makes a living off of it has to always worry more about the money and not actually get to love the job because they are passionate about martial arts. They seem to perpetually lose students because the atmosphere has shifted from a love of martial arts to a need for money and that reflects into their classes. Dh's school gets a lot of old students of other schools who left because the teachers didn't seem to enjoy teaching much.

[Katy]

Well, I think you've gotten a lot of great advice from ASD parents.  I don't have one on the spectrum.  I do have one nephew who is.

 

I think, at that age, that I would be encouraging while also giving him a good dose of reality. Give him a fall class in Entrepreneurship. Assign him to write a dojo business plan.  Include rent, insurance, utilities, adapting a building to meet safety and handicap access.  Have him include costs of things like bookkeeping and accounting and marketing and web design, outsourcing them all, so he can see that with just an associate's degree in business where he can learn those things and not have to outsource them, he can be much more successful than without a degree.  How much startup money does he need?  What will his ongoing costs and probable profits be?  Have him cite his sources, even if it's through interviews.

 

I'd also arrange for him to job shadow at area martial arts studios.  He might see that while studying karate is fun, teaching it is not so fun.

 

And finally, have him figure out a probable budget based on a low average and a high average studio profit (calculating for what it would take if he would have to outsource everything, vs if he had a two-year business degree and could do those things himself) as well as 3-5 other jobs that he might be good at.  Some assigned by you, some by him. Include some that might require just a 2-year program (computer networking as taught at a community college), as well as some 4-year or more degrees that you think he might be good at and that really could pay for a super car eventually (Computer or Electrical Engineering, etc).  And maybe 1-2 jobs that would require more than just a bachelor's degree but which pay really well.  Actuarial science or PhD in economics, maybe.

 

Have him analyze them all.  As well as potential personal finance budgets for all of those jobs (including student loan repayment if that's a factor).  Then have the final assignment be a paper analyzing all of those potential jobs arguing whether a job or entrepreneurship is a better option for him, and why.  If he could do those assignments too quickly you could also find a college level intro to business textbook to give him assignments from as well, including readings from the small business administration website and from SCORE.

[Mom22ns]

I think expecting someone who is ASD to function independently just because he turned 18 is unrealistic. I've read, in more than one place, that people with Asperger Syndrome often are several years behind their peers from a maturity standpoint and a social standpoint. While my son, who is on the spectrum, is in college, we don't expect him to graduate in four years and we are uncertain whether or not he will be able to hold down a full time job when he does graduate. Supporting an adult is not something we planned to do, but it is something we are now taking into consideration. It's just the reality of having a son with ASD.

 

If he is like other people with ASD I know and know of, the more he is pushed to do things he is not yet mature enough to do, the more he will dig his heels in and the harder it will be for him to move forward, even when it becomes apparent, at a later time, that he might be ready to do so. People who are ASD aren't like the rest of us, they just aren't. We should not expect them to do things on our timetable. It's hard and it can be heartbreaking as well. But, I think you really need to adjust your expectations.

 

Liking this was not enough. The is exactly our experience with our ASD son too. He is in college, but is very much there in an exploration/time to mature mode. He is taking 13 hours this semester, 15 was too much. If he is able to get and hold a job and become self-supporting when he graduates I will be thrilled. If he isn't, well, that won't be the biggest surprise.

 

Being willing to take things slowly is really critical with these kiddos. Be patient. Lots of typical 9th-10th graders have no plans, unrealistic plans, or just unrealistic views of the world. Certainly it isn't yet time to be worried about an ASD kiddo whose plans you don't like.

[HS Mom in NC]

My advice is about kids in general, not specifically about kids with ASD.

1. I wouldn't be bothered by a kid that age not knowing what they want to do.  Most kids don't really know what they want to do.

 

2. Not everyone needs to go to college and get a degree in order to support themselves. If your social circles don't include people in this category, increase your social circles. I'm genuinely surprised how many people with degrees don't associate with people who are skilled labor but don't have college degrees. 

 

3.  My daughter's TKD teacher has hundreds of students paying $150 per month for classes and he's doing very well for himself.  If your son thinks he wants to do that then you should encourage him to talk to successful martial arts instructors and ask them what they would recommend he do in high school and after. Make it a school assignment if you have to.  In high school we had to interview people (in person or over the phone) who supported themselves doing what we thought we might like to do. That ranged from white collar professions to the kid who interviewed a guy in Germany who was, at that time, considered the best tattoo artist in the world.  It was one of the truly valuable assignments in our English class.

 

4. Have all of your kids spend at least a semester in high school reading several books like:

The Pathfinder: How to Choose or Change Your Career for a Lifetime of Satisfaction and Success by Nicholas Lore

 

Exploring Careers: A Young Person's Guide to 1,000 Jobs by JIST Publishing Inc.

 

Career Path: Connecting Who You Are With What You'll Love to Do by Shoya Zichy

It will help a kid narrow things down some.  Community Colleges also have career centers that can help a kid who has no idea which direction they want to take.  If a kid is attending there, they should definitely utilize that kind of resource.
 

5. Not every job has to be your passion, and not every job has to be a drudge.  No one in grew up saying, "Some day I'm going to be in insurance!  I just love insurance!" We all need insurance of various kinds.  No one is passionate about that.  So we have to teach our kids that sometimes the job we don't love supports our ability to do the things we do love.  And the opposite it true too.  Just because mom and dad may not have jobs in a field they were passionate about doesn't mean their kids should assume they can't work in a field they're passionate about.  Look into it and talk to people who have BTDT.  Don't make assumptions.

 

6.  It is possible to learn things outside of a classroom.  Plenty of business skills can be learned from  books no one assigned you but you read all by your own motivation.  My computer programmer husband has a very successful consulting/ contracting business.  All the business angle can be covered outside of a classroom and require no degrees at all for the motivated learner.  He's capable of coding in more than a dozen computer languages that you couldn't get college classes in at any of our 3 state universities because he knows how to learn from reading books. That doesn't mean no one should ever look into classes or degrees, but beware the idea that you can only learn if a certified teacher assigned it to you.

Edited September 6, 2016 by Homeschool Mom in AZ

[TechWife]

 

3.  My daughter's TKD teacher has hundreds of students paying $150 per month for classes and he's doing very well for himself.  If your son thinks he wants to do that then you should encourage him to talk to successful martial arts instructors and ask them what they would recommend he do in high school and after. Make it a school assignment if you have to.  In high school we had to interview people (in person or over the phone) who supported themselves doing what we thought we might like to do. That ranged from white collar professions to the kid who interviewed a guy in Germany who was, at that time, considered the best tattoo artist in the world.  It was one of the truly valuable assignments in our English class.

 

 

 

Just a note to the OP - I don't recommend making this a school assignment. That could ruin it for him, really. Make the suggestions, be available to help him get things set up, but don't make it something he has to do for a grade. My son told me I ruined hobbies for him because I tried to turn them into school subjects. Just let him have a passion for it. If you decide after a period of time that he's done enough to get a credit in something like Career Exploration, then put it on his transcript, but don't put pressure on him ahead of time. It will likely backfire on you. 

[Anacharsis]

Has he taught karate to younger kids before? If not, it might provide perspective on what exactly he would end up doing if he follows that route. Some people find that while they enjoy practicing, they do not enjoy teaching.

 

You might also see if he could volunteer at his instructor's dojo doing the more menial tasks -- sometimes it's easy to forget that someone running their own space has to be willing clean the mirrors and mop the floors.