Reality checking dreams -- does anyone else have this issue? (Please don't quote)

[Daria]

I have an issue that I assume is related to my anxiety, but that I've never heard of before.  I'm wondering if I'm just weird or if other people have done this before, and if there's a solution.

 

For the past 10 or so years, I've had this issue where I dream something unrealistic, and then lie in bed apparently awake (unless I'm dreaming that I'm lying in bed awake worrying, which is a real possibility)

 

Last night, I dreamt that my father was coming for a surprise visit!  Which would be lovely, but unlikely since he's been dead for 30 years.  Strangely, instead of being confused that he was coming back from the dead, or overjoyed that my father would get to meet his only grandchild, I was very worried about whether the bathroom was clean enough and which of us should move out of our bedroom to give him a place to sleep.  

 

The dreams are almost always about someone coming to visit, and somehow I have failed to either prepare for or care for them.  I've dreamt that I signed up for an aupair (I have 1 independent 17 year old and 2 bedrooms so an au pair makes no sense) or that my neighbor asked me to watch her preschooler with autism (that could, I guess, actually happen), or that I have an exchange student coming.  

 

I don't have a visible clock in my bedroom, so I can't tell you how long I lie awake thinking about this, but it feels like a long time.  When I wake up in the morning for real, I remember it really clearly, almost immediately followed by realizing how absurd I was to worry about it.

 

Anyway, this has been an issue that happens pretty regularly, and I'm wondering if there's a solution, because I feel as though I'm losing a lot of sleep over this.  It's starting to happen more and more often.  

 

Edited July 19, 2016 by Daria

[almondbutterandjelly]

I'm just going to throw this out there... if I have more than one cup of coffee, I start worrying about silly things like that, too.  One time I was worried about my husband getting mad about something stupid.  It was the silliest thing, I can't even remember, and my husband almost never gets mad.  It was so ridiculous.  I even remember thinking it was ridiculous and worrying anyway.

 

So my vote is... maybe too much caffeine?

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

It sounds like anxiety.  

 

You probably have some real worries, and they are presenting themselves as dream worries.  I have a few recurring dreams that only come to me when I'm stressed.  I know if I have the "xyz dream" that I'm worried about something.  

 

If I can pinpoint the actual worry, it makes the dream go away.  Often times, I do this with a brain dump type exercise with a paper and pen and just dump out the entire contents of my "to do" list (you can google brain dump trigger lists to help get you started).  I always find this to be very relieving.  

 

If it is just a general anxiety that you have always had, then same advice for anyone who simply suffers from anxiety.  Exercise, limit your contact with things like daily news headlines, etc. 

[hornblower]

It could be hormones or just general life stress. 

I'd consider:

 

adding exercise (if you're not exercising at all, just a 30 min walk daily can help; if you are exercising already, increase intensity and add more cardio) 

Meditation 

Essential fatty acid supplement 

magnesium supplement at night 

L-Theanine supplement at night 


When the sleep disturbance happens, and you'e lying awake, try this: 

Imagine you're getting a piece of paper and writing out the entire problem longhand. 
Now take the paper and fold it carefully and put it in a special box which you'll place under your bed. 
Promise yourself that you'll look in the box first thing in the morning and deal with the problem then. 

Anytime your mind wanders to the problem after that say "It's ok. I won't forget. It's safe in the box and I'll deal with it in the morning." 

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

Are you taking any medications?  Some medications can cause weird dreams and/or lucid dreaming.

 

 

[Anacharsis]

Dreams generally follow "dream logic" -- your responses are plausible, but within a framework where certain things that the waking mind would instantly realize are imaginary are seen as normal. Anxiety over an unexpected guest -- maybe how you would react in real life, but with the mind instantly accepting that the dead visiting is possible and plausible.

 

False awakenings are also fairly common. The best way to determine if that is what is happening or if you are actually waking up is to keep a notepad at your bedside, and to write something down briefly about the dream. If, when you wake up in the morning, the pad is empty, then it was likely a false awakening.

[SparklyUnicorn]

My ongoing stupid dream is being stressed out by an upcoming due date for a school assignment.  Yet I haven't been in a real school situation for many years.  I feel that anxiety as if it is very real when I have those dreams and when I wake up.  To the point where I then finally think oh wait...that was only a dream.

 

 

[Ausmumof3]

Sometimes I have a dream and think I've woken up but I actually am still asleep. I get frustrated because I can't get out of bed to sort out whatever I need to do, it feels like being paralysed. This is usually related to somewhere I need to be on time and the drive is stressful (to me). Sometimes this relates to a real event and sometimes it's something I've dreamed. I believe it is somewhat related to my anxiety about driving and about meeting time deadlines.

[Guest]

I give a vote for false waking. And that this type of dream is related to anxiety.

 

I have two thematic dreams that appear to be related to anxiety. One is something in the vein of fruitlessly trying to find a classroom where I am supposed to be, walking all over the school, unable to find it, ever-aware that the clock says I am late...and later...and about to miss the class entirely. The second is that I have something (usually it is a litter of small animals) that I am keeping in the house but trying to conceal. So, trying to keep ten puppies quiet and hidden or something like that.

 

These dreams seem directly connected to anxiety.

[Daria]

Thanks, you guys make me feel a little less weird.  I definitely have anxiety, and particularly have anxiety about people coming to my house, so this isn't particularly surprising that this is what I'd choose to dream about.  I also had a friend who told me that the dreams have to do with my feeling that my family was never finished, that I grieve for the younger siblings my son will never have.

 

I don't think writing things down would work, because I know that if I decide to get out of bed while I'm in this half waking state, I can.  I have, in the past, gone so far as to go into my son's room to check on some imaginary child that either did not exist, or like my neighbors kid, was not in my house.  The thing that keeps me in my bed now is the fact that I'm half aware that I'm being ridiculous.  Last night, as I lay there worried that my toilets wouldn't be clean enough for my father, part of me wanted to get up and check and see how clean my toilets were, while another part of me was saying "You have to stay in bed, if you wake up your son preparing for a visit from a dead man, he'll think you're crazy! If you wake up in the morning, and you're still worried about this, you can check then."  I've also changed my alarm clock so that I can get up early to prepare for things.  So, whether I'm asleep or awake, I can definitely get out of bed and walk around.  I'm guessing I could sleep "write" as well.  

[heartlikealion]

That sounds like me. I mean, I haven't had those particular things, but in real life when I went into labor I was more stressed about the babysitter seeing our house (baby came two weeks early and I had no expectation of the sitter coming over) in the state it was in than what was going on with the birth LOL

[Daria]

That sounds like me. I mean, I haven't had those particular things, but in real life when I went into labor I was more stressed about the babysitter seeing our house (baby came two weeks early and I had no expectation of the sitter coming over) in the state it was in than what was going on with the birth LOL

 

I undoubtedly had that dream because I made an appointment for a "traveling vet" to come to my house to give my dog his rabies shot tomorrow.  

 

I'm actually cancelling the appointment, because I decided I'd rather walk 2 miles each way in the 100 degree heat to Petsmart to get the shot.  

[Janeway]

I have an issue that I assume is related to my anxiety, but that I've never heard of before.  I'm wondering if I'm just weird or if other people have done this before, and if there's a solution.

 

For the past 10 or so years, I've had this issue where I dream something unrealistic, and then lie in bed apparently awake (unless I'm dreaming that I'm lying in bed awake worrying, which is a real possibility)

 

Last night, I dreamt that my father was coming for a surprise visit!  Which would be lovely, but unlikely since he's been dead for 30 years.  Strangely, instead of being confused that he was coming back from the dead, or overjoyed that my father would get to meet his only grandchild, I was very worried about whether the bathroom was clean enough and which of us should move out of our bedroom to give him a place to sleep.  

 

The dreams are almost always about someone coming to visit, and somehow I have failed to either prepare for or care for them.  I've dreamt that I signed up for an aupair (I have 1 independent 17 year old and 2 bedrooms so an au pair makes no sense) or that my neighbor asked me to watch her preschooler with autism (that could, I guess, actually happen), or that I have an exchange student coming.  

 

I don't have a visible clock in my bedroom, so I can't tell you how long I lie awake thinking about this, but it feels like a long time.  When I wake up in the morning for real, I remember it really clearly, almost immediately followed by realizing how absurd I was to worry about it.

 

Anyway, this has been an issue that happens pretty regularly, and I'm wondering if there's a solution, because I feel as though I'm losing a lot of sleep over this.  It's starting to happen more and more often.  

When I have a dream like that, where I am trying to clean or pack and cannot get it done, there is just more and more and more...I tell myself none of it matters and leave it all behind. I try to tell myself in the dream "none of this matters, leave it behind." And when awake, I declutter. That helps too.

[MyLittleBears]

I remember reading somewhere that when you are unsure if you were asleep or awake when you dream something, you are actually asleep. That would explain the unrealistic dreams. I agree w/pp, coffee can definitely cause anxiety. I don't drink it at because of this, or too much dark chocolate late in the day.

[MyLittleBears]

My ongoing stupid dream is being stressed out by an upcoming due date for a school assignment. Yet I haven't been in a real school situation for many years. I feel that anxiety as if it is very real when I have those dreams and when I wake up. To the point where I then finally think oh wait...that was only a dream.

Wow I could have written this post! have occasional school related "nightmares" where I forgot to go to class all semester or have five minutes left to write a 10 page paper. Then I actually finish it with 5 minutes to spare but I'm on a biplane and it all blows away and I have to start over. :/

Edited July 20, 2016 by MyLittleBears

[Rosie_0801]

Sleep apnoea can cause shouty dreams.

[Katy]

What thing in your life are you worried you're not prepared for?  The 17 year old leaving?  Death?  Something else?  My guess is the dream is about a real-life, tangible sense of anxiety about not being prepared.  Prepare for whatever it is you're worried about and the dreams will likely go away.

 

And yes, you can dream that you woke up from a weird dream, but in fact still be dreaming.

[ThursdayNext]

I remember reading somewhere that when you are unsure if you were asleep or awake when you dream something, you are actually asleep. That would explain the unrealistic dreams. I agree w/pp, coffee can definitely cause anxiety. I don't drink it at because of this, or too much dark chocolate late in the day.

Not always! I "dreamed" that I had a tick on me, and was trying to get to the bathroom to remove it. But I couldn't get up. In the morning, I thought it was a silly boring dream.

 

2 days later I found that tick in the same spot as my dream!

[heartlikealion]

Not always! I "dreamed" that I had a tick on me, and was trying to get to the bathroom to remove it. But I couldn't get up. In the morning, I thought it was a silly boring dream.

 

2 days later I found that tick in the same spot as my dream!

 

But maybe you were dreaming about the tick being there because it was causing you discomfort?

 

On this topic, I ran across a thing on FB the other day about removing ticks by using a wet (something like coconut oil or clove oil I think were suggestions?) q-tip and running it in circles around the tick til it comes out vs pulling it with tweezers.

 

[Catalytic]

Are you taking any medications?  Some medications can cause weird dreams and/or lucid dreaming.

 

Ugh, Clindomycin gave me horrid dreams/nightmares, and they were so realistic, I'd believe them for 30-60 minutes after I woke up.  DH truly thought I was going crazy the 2 months I was on it.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Ugh, Clindomycin gave me horrid dreams/nightmares, and they were so realistic, I'd believe them for 30-60 minutes after I woke up.  DH truly thought I was going crazy the 2 months I was on it.

 

I have trouble with Zyrtec.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I give a vote for false waking. And that this type of dream is related to anxiety.

 

I have two thematic dreams that appear to be related to anxiety. One is something in the vein of fruitlessly trying to find a classroom where I am supposed to be, walking all over the school, unable to find it, ever-aware that the clock says I am late...and later...and about to miss the class entirely. The second is that I have something (usually it is a litter of small animals) that I am keeping in the house but trying to conceal. So, trying to keep ten puppies quiet and hidden or something like that.

 

These dreams seem directly connected to anxiety.

 

I've had the same school dreams.  That is so weird. 

[Scarlett]

My dreams are insane. Sometimes dream I am about to go on a trip and the bus is waiting on me and I need to go pee first. And I can't find the bathroom....

 

And I regularly have sleep paralysis.

 

The other night I dreamed that Dh had hired a guy to help work on our house. I was pretty excited about that because he tries to do it all himself. Then I looked out in the driveway and the the guy in the truck was my high school boyfriend who was murdered 31 years ago. I was so excited.....but as he walked toward me he morphed into someone else....I was like, " he just looked like J". Never mind that J would be a 51 year old man....not a 21 year old.

 

And snakes. Lots and lots of snakes.

[DesertBlossom]

I have recurring dreams about going away to college, only to remember that I have kids back at home and that I need to get home to take care of them.

 

My other recurring dream is that DH won't marry me, even though we have all these kids together. It's so odd because he's such a jerk in my dreams and IRL he's the nicest guy.