DawnM Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 (edited) Well, the good news is that I got a job. I am very excited about it, but I am also panicking a bit. Going from full time work to SAHM was easy. I am not sure the transition back will be as smooth. I do NOT want to get overwhelmed and feel like quitting, because I know I will regret it if I give up. I am going to get the family to help with clean up and meals. Other than that, and cutting some things out of our schedule, and taking it as easy as I can for the first few months, I don't know how else to make this an easy transition. Thoughts? I WANT to work. I miss working. I also want to help the boys through college, have retirement, etc.... But part of me is freaking out too. It has been 11 years. I am older, I don't have as much energy as I used to. Edited July 14, 2016 by DawnM 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 (edited) Hire a bit of help if you can. Even a 2x a month house cleaner can make a huge difference. Cleaning services are cheaper than family counseling. And congrats! Edited July 14, 2016 by LucyStoner 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SarahB82 Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 Yes- use some of your pay to make life easier for yourself and help provide an income for someone else at the same time. Congrats on the job! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted July 14, 2016 Author Share Posted July 14, 2016 Hire a bit of help if you can. Even a 2x a month house cleaner can make a huge difference. Cleaning services are cheaper than family counseling. And congrats! Actually insurance covers counseling, but not cleaning! HAHAHA! I have already told the kids they will have more chores! But I may get someone in some too. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 I'm not speaking from experience, but I think it would be a good idea to plan so that you actually get a fair bit of R&R on the weekends, and not spend it all catching up on household tasks. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 Take it easy on yourself for the first few months. The transition can be exhausting, mentally and physically. Just being "on" all day wore me out at first. (I'm not working full time, but I did go from SAHM to full time student with a part-time job) 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 (edited) Well, I have too many balls in the air right now but it's temporary. What is helping is a husband that lets me off easily, that I finally accept the house will not be as clean as it once was (maybe again at some point in the future), meals are prepped ahead of time - takes more thinking long-term but I was not willing to compromise on good food. Take some time to think about all the extras you are doing now. Decide what is so important to you that you would really disappointed or sad if you lost it and pare down other, less vital, things. Plan in some down time. Contrary to some people's belief it is not a luxury; It is essential to mental health and to avoid burn-out. CONGRATS! :) Edited July 14, 2016 by Liz CA 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 Me too, DawnM! I'll be watching this thread. I definitely will need to do some meal planning.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 Congratulations on your job! I have no tips but wanted to wish you the best with your next stage :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted July 14, 2016 Author Share Posted July 14, 2016 Me too, DawnM! I'll be watching this thread. I definitely will need to do some meal planning.... Congrats! What will you be doing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 (edited) Actually insurance covers counseling, but not cleaning! HAHAHA! I have already told the kids they will have more chores! But I may get someone in some too. That's some good insurance. Most marriage or family counsellors here don't take insurance because most carriers here have all sorts of exclusions on it so billing is too onerous for them to bother with insurance. We had to pay out of pocket to the tune of $185/session. The cleaner got $20/HR and 9 hours of cleaning was exceedingly helpful in keeping the peace, lol. That said I was working out of the home full-time when my kids were too little to do many chores beyond learning to take care of their things and spaces. Having really simple pre planned meals on workdays is a good idea too. Edited July 14, 2016 by LucyStoner 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 Menu plan. 3 months at a time. You will have to block time for the chore, but doing so saves so much time and mental energy. I used to do a lot freezer meals. The freezer would be stocked with 4-6 batches of 4 types of meals and they'd rotate with the crock pot and leftover night. This last year I did mostly crock pot. I have multiple crock cookbooks to find new and interesting. So, it would be 3 crockpot meals, leftover night and fend for yourself night. And daddy is in charge of weekend meals. I refuse to think about feeding people on the weekend. Accept messy bedrooms. Lower expectations of clean in general. I go for kitchen and living room and main floor half bath getting regular cleaning. Everything else I just let go. It's OK. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted July 14, 2016 Share Posted July 14, 2016 Congratulations Dawn. It IS exciting. No advice, but I'm happy for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted July 14, 2016 Author Share Posted July 14, 2016 Actually insurance covers counseling, but not cleaning! HAHAHA! I have already told the kids they will have more chores! But I may get someone in some too. $20 copay in network, 65% coverage out of network. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoffive Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 Congrats!! So happy for you. No real advice. But crockpot is such a helper. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 Congratulations! I agree with the others--hiring at least a bit of help, meal planning and sleep. Make sure you take time for yourself (healthy food, sleep, exercise) and mental health time. Set aside time for things you enjoy that fill up your tank, because it just might be a little empty by the end of the workday! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted July 15, 2016 Author Share Posted July 15, 2016 I do have an instant pot! That will be really helpful I think. I need dump type meals for a while. And my family doesn't like beans, so that is a challenge. But I do make things like meats with sauces and then a pot of rice on the side. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 Congratulations! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 Congrats! What will you be doing? Working with kids with autism using Applied Behavior Analysis. What will you be doing? :) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted July 15, 2016 Author Share Posted July 15, 2016 Working with kids with autism using Applied Behavior Analysis. What will you be doing? :) Teaching ESL to refugees and immigrants in two different schools, a K-8 school and a high school. So each day I will have students in every grade from K-12. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarlaB Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 (edited) Take it easy on yourself for the first few months. The transition can be exhausting, mentally and physically. Just being "on" all day wore me out at first. (I'm not working full time, but I did go from SAHM to full time student with a part-time job) Absolutely!!! Edited July 15, 2016 by LarlaB 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarlaB Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 Absolutely this.... Be prepared for it to take a solid 4 to 6 weeks to feel like you're not drowning.... And that's ok. My best advice is to not fight it, and just go with it… And know that it will get better! Very simple meals, lowering cleanliness standards and asking for help (and taking it) were all really important in helping me transition to full-time school 45+ hours a week, and then starting and running my own business. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 Teaching ESL, multiple levels... I think you need to go in with the assumption that you will have no time at all weekdays for at least 2 months. Maybe you will have time. It's better to plan that you won't. Therefore meal planning becomes essential. All shopping needs to be done on weekends. You may need to cook some meals or parts of meals on weekends and reheat. If you do have a little time at the end of your workday, you need that time to exercise (you must do something for yourself ) and unwind or do nonchore related things with family. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted July 15, 2016 Author Share Posted July 15, 2016 Thanks. I think my husband will be willing to do some of the grocery shopping and cooking, or at least allocating the boys to work on cooking, esp. if I make the list. And Sam's and Costco are on my way home from work. I will work from 7-2:15. And if I can figure out dump meals in the Instant Pot, I would love for the boys to help me prep and dump and learn how to use it anyway! I start in 4 weeks, so I need to get busy with that! I already told DH that once I start bringing in a paycheck, one huge luxury I want is to buy pre-made salad, just chopped, I don't need the dressing in there, but to chop and wash seems like such a chore to me all the time. If I can grab a handful and plop it on the plate, that is pure luxury to me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted July 15, 2016 Author Share Posted July 15, 2016 Teaching ESL, multiple levels... I think you need to go in with the assumption that you will have no time at all weekdays for at least 2 months. Maybe you will have time. It's better to plan that you won't. Therefore meal planning becomes essential. All shopping needs to be done on weekends. You may need to cook some meals or parts of meals on weekends and reheat. If you do have a little time at the end of your workday, you need that time to exercise (you must do something for yourself ) and unwind or do nonchore related things with family. One reason this job appealed to me is that it will give me Elem. experience. I have only ever worked with secondary schools, middle and high schools. I went to two interviews for Elem. counseling and both principals made a big deal about wanting someone with Elem. experience (um, it is right on my resume that I don't have it!, but whatever.) So, this will allow me that opportunity. Another huge draw for this job is that I was told that in the high school the class size will be under 15, most likely closer to 10, and then in the Elem. I will have groups of 5 or so for a pull out program and basically be a glorified tutor. So, I am HOPING this means I won't be quite as stressed as I would be if I were to have 42 kids per class and lots of classroom management. That is what used to wear me out when I was in the classroom. But I know that just the act of getting up at 5:30 and getting out the door by 6 or 6:15 will be enough to tire me the first few weeks at least. And the fact that I am out every day, all day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted July 16, 2016 Share Posted July 16, 2016 Oh, plan a week's worth of what-to-wear each weekend. I used to do that when I worked full time, and it made getting out the door easier each day, and eliminated emergency weeknight laundry. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted July 16, 2016 Author Share Posted July 16, 2016 Oh, plan a week's worth of what-to-wear each weekend. I used to do that when I worked full time, and it made getting out the door easier each day, and eliminated emergency weeknight laundry. I know this is going to sound like I have no creativity at all, but I found a pair of pants I like, capris, that are rather plain. They come in several colors. I was going to get a few (Walmart) And then Target sells a nice V neck Tee in various colors and patterns. I was going to start by just buying a bunch of the above to mix and match, and then get a few more of those lightweight sweaters to wear over the top. It is somewhat plain, but also easy to just grab and go, and all washable! I don't do dry cleaning! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted July 16, 2016 Share Posted July 16, 2016 I know this is going to sound like I have no creativity at all, but I found a pair of pants I like, capris, that are rather plain. They come in several colors. I was going to get a few (Walmart) And then Target sells a nice V neck Tee in various colors and patterns. I was going to start by just buying a bunch of the above to mix and match, and then get a few more of those lightweight sweaters to wear over the top. It is somewhat plain, but also easy to just grab and go, and all washable! I don't do dry cleaning! Sounds like the perfect"uniform". Plan for how the family laundry will get done. Is everyone on their own. Will linens get done on Saturday. Figure that out and get it into your routine. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted July 16, 2016 Author Share Posted July 16, 2016 Sounds like the perfect"uniform". Plan for how the family laundry will get done. Is everyone on their own. Will linens get done on Saturday. Figure that out and get it into your routine. I am very thankful my family is self sufficient in this regard. I have made all the kids do their own laundry for a while now, including their sheets. Towels seem to be the one thing they can't manage. The older boys have their own bathrooms, so they do their own just fine, but youngest and DH tend to toss them on the floor. I may have to put youngest in charge of towels, or wash them and have him put them away. Cooking is my big concern. I just know for a while I won't have it in me to prep and clean for dinners. I need to figure something out for that. I told DH this week that maybe I need to start having the boys each take a night and cook during the summer before I go back to work, so they can have a dish or two they can make. So far they can all make spaghetti, heat up a pizza :laugh: , cook meat on the stovetop (like burgers or taco meat). I would like for them to find a few recipes they could dump in the Instant pot, or create a casserole of some sort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted July 16, 2016 Share Posted July 16, 2016 I know this is going to sound like I have no creativity at all, but I found a pair of pants I like, capris, that are rather plain. They come in several colors. I was going to get a few (Walmart) And then Target sells a nice V neck Tee in various colors and patterns. I was going to start by just buying a bunch of the above to mix and match, and then get a few more of those lightweight sweaters to wear over the top. It is somewhat plain, but also easy to just grab and go, and all washable! I don't do dry cleaning! This sounds great! A couple of accessories like scarves and some cute jewelry will stretch the basics. So you'll have sort of like a uniform without it looking like a uniform! You can get more creative once you are used to the new schedule - just in time to switch to a fall uniform, maybe? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted July 16, 2016 Share Posted July 16, 2016 I am very thankful my family is self sufficient in this regard. I have made all the kids do their own laundry for a while now, including their sheets. Towels seem to be the one thing they can't manage. The older boys have their own bathrooms, so they do their own just fine, but youngest and DH tend to toss them on the floor. I may have to put youngest in charge of towels, or wash them and have him put them away. Cooking is my big concern. I just know for a while I won't have it in me to prep and clean for dinners. I need to figure something out for that. I told DH this week that maybe I need to start having the boys each take a night and cook during the summer before I go back to work, so they can have a dish or two they can make. So far they can all make spaghetti, heat up a pizza :laugh: , cook meat on the stovetop (like burgers or taco meat). I would like for them to find a few recipes they could dump in the Instant pot, or create a casserole of some sort. My sister's family doesn't like leftovers and she works full time. Her answer is to maximize kitchen time. When she's cooking, she cooks more than one meal, that way she doesn't have to cook every night. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyacinth Posted July 16, 2016 Share Posted July 16, 2016 Congratulations on the job, Dawn! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted July 16, 2016 Author Share Posted July 16, 2016 My sister's family doesn't like leftovers and she works full time. Her answer is to maximize kitchen time. When she's cooking, she cooks more than one meal, that way she doesn't have to cook every night. I can't even imagine. I am quite sure my family would starve if they wouldn't eat leftovers! I have leftovers a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted July 16, 2016 Share Posted July 16, 2016 I can't even imagine. I am quite sure my family would starve if they wouldn't eat leftovers! I have leftovers a lot. When she first told me that, it truly did not compute. I am still mystified as to where the leftovers go. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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