Meadowlark Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 Currently we have the 3 boys (9, 7, 4) downstairs together in a quite large bedroom with huge closet. The 2 girls (4, 3) are in separate average sized bedrooms upstairs. We want to move the girls together, which leaves an empty room upstairs. The problem is, who gets it? We just cannot seem to come to a decision. Boy (7) REALLY wants it. He's a late sleeper, hates picking up everyone else's stuff, and overall just wants a bit more privacy. Boy (9) also says he wants it, but with less passion. He is an early riser, very active and social. He also is going through the "terrible 9's" or something right now, and is not being very nice to his siblings, especially boy (5) who seems to annoy him at every turn. I'm actually kind of afraid to put him with my son (5) because he really seems to be bullying him a bit. The 7 year old can hold his own with him. Boy (5) is very mild mannered, sweet and overall easygoing. I don't think he cares where he is. I was thinking first of giving the room to boy (7) but since then, the problems between the other 2 have come up and I just have a weird feeling about leaving them together alone downstairs. Then I thought Id put the 5 yr. old in the new room, but then I thought "he's a middle child and will be the only one not sharing a room". Maybe I'm overthinking it, but I don't want him to feel left out. Recently, I've thought about putting the oldest in there, but then I think that's rewarding him for his bullying behavior, which I don't want to do. Plus, he's a strong personality and I'm not sure I want him that close to us, for real. A little separation downstairs is good. What would you do? I think it will break my 7 year old's heart if I don't give it to him. I gave him the impression a long time ago that he would be getting it because no one else expressed an interest. But since then, the other problems arose and the oldest wants it too. Just hoping someone will point something out that I haven't yet thought of. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 I'd turn it into a library :). 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 Could you put the three youngest downstairs and give the two older their own rooms? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meadowlark Posted March 30, 2016 Author Share Posted March 30, 2016 Could you put the three youngest downstairs and give the two older their own rooms? Hmmm, probably not long term as the three youngest are 1 boy and 2 girls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 Hmmm, probably not long term as the three youngest are 1 boy and 2 girls. I was thinking of this same solution. My ten year old son still shares a room with his sisters, and my sister and I shared with our brothers until the oldest was 12 or so. I think pre-adolescent siblings of opposite sexes are fine sharing a room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meadowlark Posted March 30, 2016 Author Share Posted March 30, 2016 I was thinking of this same solution. My ten year old son still shares a room with his sisters, and my sister and I shared with our brothers until the oldest was 12 or so. I think pre-adolescent siblings of opposite sexes are fine sharing a room. Oh, and we also already have 2 "girly" twin beds that we bought last year, so their room is pretty much set. But thanks for the suggestion! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 (edited) Set up a rotation for the boys: oldest gets the room for six months, then 7 year old gets his turn. 5 year old can be in on the rotation if he wants. Edited March 30, 2016 by maize 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Entropymama Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 I'd leave it empty. We did this with our kids and it's really nice having an open room for whatever kid needs some space. We also use it as a guest room or for the kids to set up a game or something they don't want anyone messing with. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 I would give the two oldest their own rooms and put the 3 youngest together in the big room. That should work well for several years yet. My DD and DS shared a room until DD was 12 and we moved into a house where she could have her own room. In general for kids under 10 or so, I wouldn't worry about separating by gender. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 I like the idea of rotating. One thing that annoyed me as a kid was my older brother always got the bigger room since he was older. ... But he was always older. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 I think I would put the girls together downstairs (and employ a baby monitor for a sense of proximity) and move all 3 boys upstairs. I'd put 7 and 5 together in the room that 7 was imagining as his, and 9 alone. Or maybe 7 and 9 each alone upstairs, and 5 stays downstairs, with sisters joining him. My priority would be removing 9 from close contact to reduce his stress/bully responses: and keeping him closer to build up his sense of care, supervision and accountability. Those aren't rewards, so I'm not worried about him seeing it that way. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
almondbutterandjelly Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 Could you give the 9 year old his own room for now? Then put the 7 and 5 year old boys together, but somehow make really separate spaces in their room? Like with a large bookshelf, some curtains, etc.? That way they each have their own space? So it feels like two little rooms almost. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 (edited) I'll leave that room empty as a privacy hideout for any kid that needs a quiet spot. When I was a day guest in my uncle's home, I had to "hide" in his study when the noise gets too much because everyone is everywhere. ETA: My uncle has 5 kids and his oldest grandkid is slightly younger than me. Edited March 30, 2016 by Arcadia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BearWallowSchool Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 I wouldn't give it to anyone. I'd keep a girls and boys room and use the extra room for something else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne in ABQ Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 When I had the luxury of an empty bedroom, I lined the walls with bookshelves, and used it as a play room. We called it the Train Room, since the extensive wooden train set took up permanent residence all over the floor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 Could you put the girls together still, put the 9yro in the empty, upstairs room, and partition the big room downstairs, effectively giving the 5 and the 7yos their own rooms? That way girls get to be together 9yo gets away from 5yo 7yo still gets a special space 5yo won't be messing up 7yo's space Booyah. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 I would put a twin bed in the extra room and use as a playroom/sleepover room. We had an extra bedroom and it was a special treat if you got to sleep in there. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 I would agree with those who say to have a boys' room and a girls' room and have one empty or extra. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meadowlark Posted March 30, 2016 Author Share Posted March 30, 2016 (edited) I'm seriously pondering keeping it empty. My only concern is that I seem to have given birth to 5 extroverts, and I fear it would be empty most of the time unless I made them go in there. For example, none of my kids EVER just play in their room. Now, we don't keep very many toys in there, but each have one bin of toys and the boys downstairs have Legos and cars and a few other things, plus a huge bookshelf. They don't play in there. No one seems to ever want time away (except ME!) They all seem to prefer hanging around in our open concept living room/kitchen area. I could definitely see making it a part of their school routine though. 30 minutes in the "reading room" or doing their independent work in there with a desk. It's becoming harder and harder as they get older with the 3 littler ones making noise. Right now, we do school around the kitchen table. Processing... What else would *you* put in that room if I did keep it empty? School desk, books, maybe a bed, beanbag...??? What else? ETA: We just built a "sunroom" off of our kitchen (with doors) that serves as the upstairs playroom. So I keep puzzles, coloring books, Magformers, Duplos type of stuff in there for the under 5 crowd. So I don't really have a need for a playroom with toys per se. Edited March 30, 2016 by Meadowlark 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imagine.more Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 I think I'd put DS7 in there for now and then when DS9 hits 13 let him have the room as a teenage kinda gift. Then when DS9 someday moves out DS5 can have his turn with his own room :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 (edited) I'd put the 9 year old in as you said he's having some issues with behaviour to siblings. Mine is definitely nicer to his siblings when he has his own space to retreat to for a while. Also he's closer to teen years when he's really going to want his own space. We do have some dynamic going on between my 9yo and 4yo boy. I think a lot of it is 4yo can definitely be annoying and the 9yo just doesn't have the maturity to handle it graciously. Edited March 30, 2016 by Ausmumof3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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