negative comment on my blog - should I respond?

[cathmom]

This was my post:

 

An Advertisement for Homeschooling

Posted in Homeschooling

Once after reading way too many ads for different private schools and preschools, I started thinking about what an ad for homeschooling would say. Here's what I came up with!

 

At our school, we offer:

individualized learning programs

extremely low student-teacher ratio

warm homelike atmosphere and facilities

integrated age levels

genuine love for the students

close teacher-student relationships

intense relationship training and formation

emphasis on service to others

multi-faceted learning environment

hands-on activities

life skills integral to the curriculum

supportive nurturing environment

frequent field trips

assistance with indepth learning in areas of interest

and last but not least -

stimulating parent-teacher conferences!

 

 

And here's the comment (including bad spelling and lack of punctuation):

 

All of above Posted by Anonymous

Unless I was sleeping during my 30+ years as a public school teacher we did all of the above and more. I am trying to read more about home schooled students since my niece has taken on this endevor. Her 5 children are so far behind and socially maladjusted. Food for thought. They are not at all accepting of other who are not "Just like" them

 

 

Should I respond? Delete? Write a separate post to answer? I have a bunch of different ideas going all different directions, but I am not sure what would be smart and worth my time.

[Plucky]

I'd just delete it and make all comments require an email. It's probably just a troll or a very insecure teacher. I know 10+ teachers who homeschool and a principal's family as well. Our incredible choir director was homeschooled all the way. The girls on the soccer team as well as sunday school love, love, love the homeschooled boys. They actually prefer them. :001_huh:

 

I don't think this person has met a real homeschooler in their life or if they have it's just been one family. They're missing out. Too bad for them.

[PiCO]

Should I respond? Delete? Write a separate post to answer? I have a bunch of different ideas going all different directions, but I am not sure what would be smart and worth my time.

 

I would respond in a kind and loving way. I don't think she was totally out of line; I know people who homeschool like her niece appears to. I also know some fantastic public school teachers.

 

If I were in your place, I might say something like- I'm sure your students greatly appreciated you, I know there are a lot of great teachers out there who dedicate their lives to their students! I'm sorry your niece does not seem to be doing a great job homeschooling her 5 children. There are a lot of dedicated homeschoolers out here whose children are learning lots. Please don't base your opinion of all homeschoolers on one family. If you have any questions for me, I would be more than happy to answer them.

[Heather in the Kootenays]

You aren't going to change anyone's mind.

 

IF I WAS to respond, it would be simple. ie I'm sorry to hear that. That hasn't been my experience.

[magistramom]

Nah, keep it on the board. Don't engage. The comment speaks for itself. Stay confident in your success - your tag line says it all too, I'm so hopeful when I read it... full scholarship? WOW!!!!! You keep goin' girl!

[Amy loves Bud]

I would respond in a kind and loving way. I don't think she was totally out of line; I know people who homeschool like her niece appears to. I also know some fantastic public school teachers.

 

If I were in your place, I might say something like- I'm sure your students greatly appreciated you, I know there are a lot of great teachers out there who dedicate their lives to their students! I'm sorry your niece does not seem to be doing a great job homeschooling her 5 children. There are a lot of dedicated homeschoolers out here whose children are learning lots. Please don't base your opinion of all homeschoolers on one family. If you have any questions for me, I would be more than happy to answer them.

 

I agree with this. No need to be defensive. I'd be kind, quick and not really try to provoke a comment war.

 

I like your list, btw.

[Amy in Orlando]

Depending on how your blog is set up, I'd be inclined to email the person. If you don't have that option, I'd do like Amy and the other posters say - respond in a kind, quick way and move on.

[cathmom]

PiCO, can I quote you exactly? I love the way you worded your response!

 

I'm sure your students greatly appreciated you, I know there are a lot of great teachers out there who dedicate their lives to their students! I'm sorry your niece does not seem to be doing a great job homeschooling her 5 children. There are a lot of dedicated homeschoolers out here whose children are learning lots. Please don't base your opinion of all homeschoolers on one family. If you have any questions for me, I would be more than happy to answer them.

 

I really would like to vent! I mean, some of the things on the list aren't even possible in a public school! "Extremely low student-teacher ratio"? Not likely! "Homelike atmosphere"? "Integrated age levels" ? Not unless she taught in a Montessori school!

 

And, I deliberately made my list positive. I don't say anything negative about public schools, just like ads for schools don't. They say what their school can do and what their school focuses on. And I could say a lot about public school - I was watching TV tonight and then the news came on. 3 top stories, one right after another, were "16 yo cheerleader arrested for dealing prescription drugs out of her BMW"; "two fifth graders suspended and one arrested for bringing drugs and a loaded gun to school" ; and last but not least, "more arrests made in the case of a beating at a high school so brutal the victim needs reconstructive surgery on his face"!!!!!!!!!!

 

And of course, we have no information about the niece. And of course, no public school students are ever behind or socially maladjusted (not even the ones who beat up the other guy, right?)

 

Deep breath...deep breath...

[KidsHappen]

it looks like she made have indeed been sleeping. The last sentence is not exactly well written. And then use this smiley: :001_tt2:

 

Actually, I would just think this to myself and let it go. Forget about it and move on. Life is too short to let the negative people get you down.

[teamturner]

You've already received excellent advice. You mentioned in one of your posts that you were being positive with your list. I agree. If you do respond to her I think you should politely point out that you were listing out the positive benefits of your own school and it was not meant to imply that any other school cannot accomlish those same goals. She somehow took it as a negative judgement of public schools and you never said that. I really like your list too and it has encouraged me! :)

[cathmom]

Here is my response:

 

To Anonymous

Posted by cathmom (70.152.148.230)

It seems that you may have misunderstood my post. I was listing the positive benefits of my family's school choice as though it were an ad for homeschooling. It was never meant to imply that other types of schools could not accomplish these same goals or other goals that are just as worthy.

 

I am glad you are researching homeschooling! Please don't base your opinion of it on just one family - many homeschooled children are learning lots and get along with all ages of people. My own son, homeschooled since second grade, is now attending college on a full scholarship. I would be happy to answer your questions about homeschooling. Blessings to you!

 

 

Thank you all for your input!

 

Michelle, thanks for the compliment! I actually wrote this list YEARS ago and just found it and decided to put it on my blog. It encouraged me when I reread it that I was doing more than I thought I was!

 

KidsHappen, yes, I think she was sleeping when she posted that comment LOL!

[Zelda]

I would be tempted to point out that her argument is grossly fallacious. But I think the nicer ladies have a better idea.

 

But maybe you can still slip that in.;)

[JudyJudyJudy]

Cathmom, I think that's a great response.

 

I am a certified teacher who homeschools.

[cathmom]

I would be tempted to point out that her argument is grossly fallacious. But I think the nicer ladies have a better idea.

 

But maybe you can still slip that in.;)

 

Did she have an argument? :D

[cathmom]

Cathmom, I think that's a great response.

 

I am a certified teacher who homeschools.

 

Thanks!

[Zelda]

Did she have an argument? :D

 

Good point! I liked your response.

[cathmom]

Good point! I liked your response.

 

Thanks!

[Kris]

I wouldn't delete the comment, and I wouldn't respond, either. It can speak for itself. Maybe she's a teacher, maybe she isn't -- on the internet no one knows you're a dog, KWIM? I tend to think the poster is *not* a teacher, because even thirty years ago they weren't doing all of that. ;)

 

I agree that you should change your "comment" settings and require those who post to be registered -- or however it works on that blog site. It eliminates anonymous posts and spam.

[RenayofRohan]

I think your response shows integrity, dignity, and kindness. Great job! You get a happy face sticker! :001_smile:

[dawn of ns]

I would probably respond with something along the lines of, "Yes. You have been sleeping. Don't worry though, I'm understand. I always wake up a little grouchy too."

 

I'll give a valid comment a reasonable reply but when its the, "My neighbour's second cousin's dog homeschools and her kids are holy terrors!" kind of thing, all bets are off.

[Lolly]

I would probably respond with something along the lines of, "Yes. You have been sleeping. Don't worry though, I understand. I always wake up a little grouchy too."

 

I'll give a valid comment a reasonable reply but when its the, "My neighbour's second cousin's dog homeschools and her kids are holy terrors!" kind of thing, all bets are off.

That would be :lol:

[Lolly]

I think your response is perfect. She sure gave you plenty of ammunition for a comeback post. I'm very impressed that you passed it all by. :001_smile:

[Lizzie in Ma]

I would respond in a kind and loving way. I don't think she was totally out of line; I know people who homeschool like her niece appears to. I also know some fantastic public school teachers.

 

If I were in your place, I might say something like- I'm sure your students greatly appreciated you, I know there are a lot of great teachers out there who dedicate their lives to their students! I'm sorry your niece does not seem to be doing a great job homeschooling her 5 children. There are a lot of dedicated homeschoolers out here whose children are learning lots. Please don't base your opinion of all homeschoolers on one family. If you have any questions for me, I would be more than happy to answer them.

 

:iagree::iagree:

[Catherine]

impression of homeschoolers as inept social misfits, or show her who you really are ( or seem to be, at least): a kind, devoted parent and teacher who is doing your best for your family? Responding defensively seems totally unnecessary.

[Melinda in VT]

I really would like to vent! I mean, some of the things on the list aren't even possible in a public school! "Extremely low student-teacher ratio"?

 

Well, it depends on the school and the family. My elementary kids' classes are always smaller than the Duggar family, for example. :D One year, my son's 3rd/4th class had 13 kids--and then one of them moved.

 

But in general I like your list and I think you handled the negative comment well.:)

[Country Mouse]

Just wanted to chime in to say I really enjoyed your "homeschool ad" and I think you handled the negative comment with grace.

[PiCO]

PiCO, can I quote you exactly? I love the way you worded your response!

 

 

Yeah, you could have- but I like your response better!

[A.J. at J.A.]

I would respond in a kind and loving way. I don't think she was totally out of line; I know people who homeschool like her niece appears to. I also know some fantastic public school teachers.

 

If I were in your place, I might say something like- I'm sure your students greatly appreciated you, I know there are a lot of great teachers out there who dedicate their lives to their students! I'm sorry your niece does not seem to be doing a great job homeschooling her 5 children. There are a lot of dedicated homeschoolers out here whose children are learning lots. Please don't base your opinion of all homeschoolers on one family. If you have any questions for me, I would be more than happy to answer them.

 

I was stunned when talking with my mom who works at a Public high school and has always greatly supported me homeschooling my kids and been a terrific encourager. I was telling her about the Costco poll and if homeschool teachers should be certified. She said they should be certified. She said, "Not everyone homeschools like you, Angela. I know people who don't have a clue what they're doing." And that's from my #1 fan!! Unfortunately, there are many homeschoolers that don't take it nearly as seriously as they should and it shows!

 

Your post was WONDERFUL!! and will hopefully give her another view (a positive one) of homeschoolers to add to her experience.

 

Blessings,

Angela

[Mama Lynx]

Y'all are all much nicer than I am.

 

In a community, I would respond kindly to this person. On my blog ... MY blog! Mine! Where I can say what I want to, and only worry about offending people if I feel like worrying about it!!! I'd either have ignored her and let her comment stand on its own, or I'd have been snarky to her. But nicely snarky, so that she'd have a hard time calling me on it. And informative. Because if you can be sweet, informative and snarky all at the same time, you're really good :D

 

At any rate, it's your blog. You have control. If you want to ignore her, or even delete her comment, it is perfectly fine. You are under no obligation to respond.

 

Don't mind me. I am in quite a mood this morning, AND I'm out of coffee. :eek:

[Melissa in FL]

Oh I would respond. I would just feel like I HAD too! Recommend he read the Well Trained Mind to learn about a great way to homeschool, and then he can give it to her to read. Tell him if he would really like to help his niece, he could offer to pay for outside classes for her kids, there are great co-op's that might help them.

 

 

Now if he responded neg. a second time, I wouldn't respond back.

Melissa

[readwithem]

I would be curious how the commenter found you, after all you're on HOMESCHOOL Blogger.

[Kris]

I would be curious how the commenter found you, after all you're on HOMESCHOOL Blogger.

 

Probably because "I am trying to read more about home schooled students . . ." ;)

[cathmom]

I guess he or she just found it somehow on a search.

[OnTheBrink]

My response:

 

After 30 years of teaching, I'd think you'd have spelling and punctuation rules down better. Thanks for sharing.

 

Ok, I'd not really say that. But I'd think it (I haven't eaten yet and I'm snarky this morning!).

[K&Rs Mom]

I'd ignore it. It's not about you, and the negative isn't about your post: it's about his niece. I don't know why he's spending time typing stuff that doesn't matter to anyone, but don't let it waste YOUR time, kwim?

[OhM]

Nah, keep it on the board. Don't engage. The comment speaks for itself. Stay confident in your success - your tag line says it all too, I'm so hopeful when I read it... full scholarship? WOW!!!!! You keep goin' girl!

 

Totally agree with this, although I like Michelle's response above.

 

I haven't gone there yet to check, but I'm guessing other commenters have already done the heavy lifting for you. :D

 

ETA: Your response is great! Perfect.

[gardening momma]

I haven't read all the responses yet, but I would respond, saying,

"this is a statement of what homeschooling is, not what public/private school is not."

[lovemyboys]

Here is my response:

 

 

 

Thank you all for your input!

 

Michelle, thanks for the compliment! I actually wrote this list YEARS ago and just found it and decided to put it on my blog. It encouraged me when I reread it that I was doing more than I thought I was!

 

KidsHappen, yes, I think she was sleeping when she posted that comment LOL!

 

Excellent response!!!

 

(and it was spelled correctly :001_smile:)

 

Seriously, your response to her post was gracious and respectful and well-spoken.

[Cornerstone Classical]

I love your add, I like the response that you wrote, I think it is good!

 

AND, just let me say, I have had only 3 negative comments about me homeschooling my children. All 3 people were public school teachers. I guess they feel inferior, and we make ps look bad because we feel that we as our dc parents can do a better job.

[gardening momma]

I'm going to comment...I'll be nice! :001_smile:

[cathmom]

You guys are swell! Thanks for the comments and the compliments!

 

I wanted to respond for 2 reasons: one, the person might come back and see the answer and actually learn. Two, other people will maybe see that and realize that I have so much faith in homeschooling, a negative comment doesn't make me back down. Also, if I deleted it, and the person came back and saw I deleted it, it would just confirm their impression of homeschoolers as being people who can't handle people who aren't just like them.

 

Thanks again for all your input! The hive made it much easier for me to figure out what to do!

[Hen]

cathmom,

 

I thought your reply was perfect, very gracious!

 

Mamma lynx,

 

I would love to see what your response would be...I would love to be snarky yet so gracious it would be difficult to call me on the carpet for...

 

how would you achieve that? If you have time...

:lurk5:

[cathmom]

Oh, yes, MamaLynx - I'd love to see that too!

[Guest janainaz]

I would respond lovingly. I have met many homeschooling families that come off like they have arrived somewhere, there is a sense of judgement on anyone outside the homeschool arena. Some teachers are very sensitive in being judged for the public school issues. There are some great teachers out there that have dedicated their lives to teaching. I was drilled at a McDonald's by a former teacher (she had taught for 30 years) and she was not very positive about homeschooling and was harsh with me. However, I did listen to what she had to say and treated her with respect. I still shared my mind and heart about homeschooling and was real with her. I think that some of these people need to see there are real/normal homeschool families who do not think they have it all together and are not raising their kids in some crazy bubble. I'm just a normal homeschool mom, we are Christian, but we are mess, too. We don't have it all together and I think that is what some of the world hates about the whole thing. Many of us are just not real.

[Heather in the Kootenays]

Well done. It shows integrity and grace.